Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4
I put my symptoms into WebMD & it turns out I just have kids. https://t.co/m6TcvYNqfm twitter.com/search?q=from%… California Joined February 2014-
Tweets49K
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Followers116K
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Following6K
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Likes57K
Thoughts & prayers for my son who can’t find his other AirPod.
I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door & say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”
I’ve been sending my husband some of my best jokes and he isn’t laughing at any of them. This is garbage.
you think you have it rough? the people i work with say things like happy friday eve…
I guess I became a parent so I could hear myself say “what the hell is going on?” every day.
I would do literally anything to lose 5 pounds right now except change my diet or increase my exercise.
Surely not the same kid who trashed my car for 16 years telling me not to bring trash in her car
My 6 year old just got back from visiting our elderly neighbor and said, “I told her we’d bring her some fresh baked cookies when they’re ready.” I informed her that we weren’t baking any cookies today and she said, “Oh, I guess we kinda have to now, don’t we?” Diabolical.
*tries on jeans* Ugh! *puts them back in closet* I’ll save those for when I lose 10 lbs. [2 years later] *tries on jeans* Ugh! *puts them back in closet* I’ll save those-
[Me 10 years ago] *sees a fire truck* Look, kids! Wow! A fire truck! [Me now] *sees a fire truck* *texts teen* You guys aren’t cooking anything are you?
These corporations are full of lies. They have no business calling this giant box of Cheetos a variety pack.
Listen, idk how it works but my bed becomes infinitely more comfortable from the hours of 5:30 am to 8:00 pm.
Can I call in pants too tight and go home if I am already at work
I rely on future me a little more than I should.
When your 8 year old gets in trouble at school for spelling curse words with scrabble tiles in school, it’s not appropriate to say “well, that’s fucking hilarious.” I know this now.
You are officially middle-aged when you take pride at how many produce price look up codes you have memorized.
When my 6yo told me he liked my old man hair I had to ask what he meant and he was like “you know, those really long squiggly ones at the end of your eyebrow” so there’s that.
true happiness as a parent is really only ever achieved when you find an ice cream flavor that you love and all of your kids hate
Thinking of putting our couch on FB Marketplace: seats 4 or approximately 6 large loads of laundry.
Marriage is all about being creative in your revenge. Like later I'm going to add my husband to a group text.
Simon Holland @simoncholland
171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
James Breakwell, Expl.. @XplodingUnicorn
944K Followers 840 Following Father of daughters. Owner of pigs. Writer of books: https://t.co/V7JWbsTXJ9
The Dad @thedad
142K Followers 589 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal
136K Followers 2K Following Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM. https://t.co/jv3VQ5CW4O
Marcy G @BunAndLeggings
51K Followers 2K Following parenthood is like a box of chocolates... it's expensive
Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy
490K Followers 1K Following Please take the enchiladas out of the freezer. Follow the Scary Mommy Book Club @scarymommybooks for monthly recs!
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
15K Followers 974 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
Lil Bit 🌈 @LizerReal
59K Followers 983 Following Wife of a guy. Mother to spawns. Sugar glider in my bra. Parenting cautionary tale. (she/her)
One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom
14K Followers 941 Following wife || mom of three || perpetually late || relatively unsociable || my tweets ➡️ https://t.co/zTOnobXohj
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Barbar @Barbar407029733
28 Followers 59 Following
Shannon Harvey @sh_harvey
72 Followers 454 Following
Ashley Chapman @momchronicles18
15 Followers 375 Following I’m just a mom that’s been momming for 17 years. I have 5 kids (Jennifer 17 ♏️ Jon 16 ♏️ Justin 14 ♌️ Jessica 7 ♎️ and Jayden 1 ♏️) I done seen it all 💁🏻♀️
dalhog @dalhog
74 Followers 641 Following
Dwayne Anderson @DwayneKGa
0 Followers 14 Following
Secret Housewife Dais.. @DaisyHousewife
1K Followers 262 Following Adult content creator. Milf on a mission to represent real life sex with real people with everyday bodies and kinks. FREE TRIAL LINK BELOW EASTER SPECIAL X
Ledra Walker @ledra_walker
1K Followers 1K Following I love Jesus! I love to laugh! I love to sing! And God has blessed me to be the baddest tambourine player you've ever seen 😀
Loki @Torciq
11 Followers 36 Following
Sylkyn_and_then_some @Sylkyn
246 Followers 636 Following You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. - Dorothy Parker.
Matt Bashor @BashorMatt
355 Followers 2K Following
Nina Teicholz, PhD @bigfatsurprise
160K Followers 2K Following Science journalist, Ph.D. in nutrition, author of The Big Fat Surprise, advocate for nutrition policy based on rigorous science, mom.
Deirdre O'Connell @Deirdre89x
8 Followers 47 Following
ماهر لطفي ل�.. @mhrlfylfy121753
26 Followers 516 Following
Violeta @_optimizam
823 Followers 1K Following
Fun-Maanush @eksamaykibaat
25 Followers 1K Following धर्म की जय हो अधर्म का नाश हो। Nocturnal | Witty | Kid at heart | Right | Wanderlust | Nationalist | Hindu | 🇮🇳
Mom on Maternity Leav.. @OnMaternity
6 Followers 32 Following Mom on maternity leave. Tweets while nursing/holding sleeping baby. Just need an outlet so I don’t text my husband constantly while he’s working.
lex @lexsy__
62 Followers 70 Following
The Dad Club™ @thedadclub_
17 Followers 52 Following Welcome To The Club🏅 | Parenting Memes and Videos | Follow for Daily #Dadjokes | 280K+ on Instagram 🙏 | 👇 Shop👇
Sohel @Ahamed12Sa19269
29 Followers 119 Following
ابوشامخ @K8VkfbPcKkP24dM
27 Followers 1K Following
Emily Green @EmilyGreen2019
82 Followers 1K Following Always hungry. Can finish most any eighties lyric. Mostly whimsy, dash of snark. Introvert/Anglophile/Dork/Cook/TV Fiend. Married to Jon.
J.M.C. ♡♡ @joco_est1968
753 Followers 843 Following An old soul living in this new world. Grammy to my favorite little guy, Jack. T&J est. 1984 ♡ Forever his girl. 🦋 BWMA
BStylin @chicketypoo22
3K Followers 2K Following Marketing analyst. Single momma of a toddler 👶❤ Polyam, 1 rescue dog (RIP tete and fiona😭) 🏳️🌈♋☀️ ♌🌜♏⬆️ 🎮🌳
Amy Colleen @sewistwrites
11K Followers 1K Following Christian, writer, married @Hubby2SewWrites. Humor, historical fashion, "several niche accts in a trench coat." Will turn anything into a Jane Austen reference.
🌷Elle☮️Man🌷 @LisaAz4evah
212 Followers 1K Following ☮️, ❤️ & 🎼. 🇺🇦, 🏳️🌈. #RoeRoeRoetheVote. #GOTV. #BOOOOOOMAH Children ARE our future. Living La Vida Desert 🌵 Dog nose kisses are the best!
Kimberly Gayle @babygirlrott
455 Followers 1K Following
MacCheezy @MacCheezy27
144 Followers 270 Following
Flower Child 🌸🌼.. @FlowerGirlBaker
9K Followers 7K Following #VoteBlue2024ToSaveDemocracy, BLM, StopAsianHate, LGBTQAlly, Married, DogLover, TRUST ME I’M A NURSE VaccinesWork
Kimberly Levasseur @Kimberl11730011
77 Followers 898 Following
Captainmorgan22 @Cptmorgan22
1K Followers 1K Following Jesus, US Army ret., Ole Miss, JD, MAGA, Deadhead
Sara @saracrowland
30 Followers 494 Following
Joe @joenahnah
7K Followers 8K Following Husband and Dad working from home, sharing funny stories and little pops of sunshine. Writer, baker, learner, laugher.
James @Jimmothy_P
37 Followers 29 Following
Jennifer Tobey @JenniferTo87874
0 Followers 35 Following
Angel @Angel10978924
101 Followers 769 Following
Kate @katwwwww
3 Followers 488 Following
Naïve American @nahdude83
402 Followers 678 Following I'm a middle aged man restarting life. I also need help. See my GoFundMe or I can make something for you through my Etsy shoppe below 👇🏽 DM for custom art!
Simon Holland @simoncholland
171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
James Breakwell, Expl.. @XplodingUnicorn
944K Followers 840 Following Father of daughters. Owner of pigs. Writer of books: https://t.co/V7JWbsTXJ9
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal
136K Followers 2K Following Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM. https://t.co/jv3VQ5CW4O
Marcy G @BunAndLeggings
51K Followers 2K Following parenthood is like a box of chocolates... it's expensive
Scary Mommy @ScaryMommy
490K Followers 1K Following Please take the enchiladas out of the freezer. Follow the Scary Mommy Book Club @scarymommybooks for monthly recs!
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
15K Followers 974 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
Lil Bit 🌈 @LizerReal
59K Followers 983 Following Wife of a guy. Mother to spawns. Sugar glider in my bra. Parenting cautionary tale. (she/her)
One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom
14K Followers 941 Following wife || mom of three || perpetually late || relatively unsociable || my tweets ➡️ https://t.co/zTOnobXohj
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Gary J-G. 💙 @Gary_J_G
2K Followers 3K Following Artist (of sorts) writer (of sorts) cynic (of all sorts) tireless campaigner for... (I'll have to finish that bit later)
S̲uper H̲uman A̲ut.. @_indica_sky
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snarkandlemons @snarkandlemons
1K Followers 405 Following When life gives you 🍋’s it’s okay to bitch about it. User of twitter to make my IG pretty🤷♀️ Follow on IG ➡️ @snarkandlemons
Bird Eckler @Birdeckler
2K Followers 3K Following Morsels of joy, mixed with sprinkles of outrage. Results may vary.
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
cold 🥑 @coldhealing
64K Followers 2K Following laptop class warrior, midwesterner in exile, teva brand ambassador, dark statistician
kenzi @kenzianidiot
62K Followers 4K Following follow me for my dads weekly agendas! im also medium funny and have a very cute dog. | marketing at @dropout | she/her
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
Mediocre Mom @MediocreMamaa
5K Followers 437 Following Always hangry. never fashionable. sometimes funny. My linktree: https://t.co/aSUIRbRWcz Featured on @huffpost @TODAY_parents @boredpanda @scarymommy
Chelsea Kunz (Karen D.. @KDisapproves
904 Followers 138 Following All things Karen would disapprove of🥳 As seen on Scary Mommy & Today Parents ❤️ [email protected]
Mom With No Plan @MomWithNoPlan
3K Followers 103 Following New mom. No plan. No problem. https://t.co/mrFQ33yH5e
Aliette Silva @AlietteSilva
70 Followers 57 Following Aliette Silva🇺🇸🇨🇺 Writer when I'm not chasing my kids👨👩👧👧 Musings from my life🤣🩷 Meme and 🥓 connoisseur✌️ Sign up for my newsletter👇
Dude-Bro Dad @thedadvocate01
5K Followers 1K Following Voted Twitter’s Most Handsome Dad | IG: dudebrodad | Top 20: https://t.co/XDOJTM0VHO
kindminds_smarthearts @kindminds_
2K Followers 484 Following Gentle parenting | Realities of Parenting | ADHD | Funny stuff | You can find my original tweets here⬇️
My Life As Dad @milifeasdad
6K Followers 896 Following Dad. Real silly. Davidoff Cool Water activist. Posts seen on @Buzzfeed, @HuffPost, @TODAY_Parents & more. I.G. 👉 https://t.co/f1BzpG3AnQ . My tweets in 🔗 below.
Meowinton Mckibbles @Moopymegster
2K Followers 2K Following I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for my ex boyfriend..
Halli @iamharaldur
286K Followers 82 Following Building 1500 wheelchair ramps in Iceland @rampur. Music @onnujonuson. Chairman @hafnarhaus. Proprietor @annajona. Previously founder/ceo @uenodotco
Parenting Presently (.. @presentparent_
2K Followers 511 Following Best parenting hack = laughter | As seen on @BuzzFeed @HuffPost & more | 🐦 Greatest hits ⬇️
Oli London @OliLondonTV
388K Followers 3K Following 📖Author | 📺 News Contributor | 🗣️Public Speaker |📚Get Gender Madness⬇️
KJ @IDontSpeakWhine
16K Followers 2K Following Just a mom trying to stay sane one day at a time with 2 teens and a silly dog!
Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd
Richard Dean @dad_on_my_feet
22K Followers 5K Following If Mr. Rogers had crippling anxiety. IG: https://t.co/6QNIPEV7wl
AparnaRC @Wordesse
3K Followers 1K Following Copywriting, coffee guzzling mom. Featured in @Huffpost, @Buzzfeed & @ThePoke. Tweets: https://t.co/QwSsMmIv1J
Dad Set Against @DadSetAgainst
5K Followers 984 Following Outnumbered, dad tired, dead set on seeing the comedy in it all. Featured on @TheDad @Buzzfeed @BoredPanda @TODAYshow @huffpostparents @theFunnyTweeter
ALEX @itsalexvance
2K Followers 4K Following Mom of 3 girls (help), writer of parenting things (Verywell Family, Parents, BuzzFeed, TODAY, & more), drinker of all the iced coffee (and wine)
Late to the party Lau.. @ericamorecambe
4K Followers 1K Following I’m not sure that it’s me who’s late or you who is early. On IG with same name. Also https://t.co/JnR26LsGSQ
Tiffany @tiffanytweets80
17K Followers 3K Following Minnesota transplant. Not-for-profit CEO. Chicago sports fan.
ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl
145K Followers 3K Following tv/film writer, comic, queer. host @podshamespiral, copy @iamthirtyaf & co-host @gayshamecomedy- next show 4/16 @unionhallny! mgmt: @zerogravitymgmt
🖤 Just Heather �.. @weedswildflowrs
10K Followers 3K Following Not just a Mom. Still figuring out the rest. #artist #scoliosis #spinalfusionsurgery #Neurodivergent af #Geek #LGBTQ+ #tattoos
Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy
25K Followers 5K Following 𝕌𝕟𝕒𝕡𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝔻𝕠𝕡𝕖 ℝ𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕦𝕣 𝕊𝕒𝕦𝕤𝕒𝕘𝕖 𝔼𝕘𝕘 𝕄𝕔𝕄𝕦𝕗𝕗𝕚𝕟 𝔼𝕟𝕥𝕙𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕒𝕤t
gas statіon dream g�.. @cheygoulet
22K Followers 5K Following kind of like a goomba, but with slower reflexes
A Dad Influence @gbergan
7K Followers 2K Following Most of my followers are bots. You're probably not even real. My posts in this link ⬇️
Starring Michelle �.. @starringmichell
6K Followers 4K Following 🌻Most of us are struggling, but we don't have to struggle alone. Married to the Love of my Life.❤️🍅 Black Lives Matter . Header is the most lovely @mom_tho🌻
Princess Consuela Ban.. @iluvtacos0822
96K Followers 2K Following I’m a wife/mom and my love language is Weiner dogs, coffee, food, video games and sports. Green eyes that will haunt you. https://t.co/WqHdn2i3z5
McDad @mcdadstuff
9K Followers 2K Following I like dad jokes and I cannot lie. https://t.co/bbtLUiYKKg Find more of my tweets here ⬇️
SneezingWithWetMascar.. @WetMascara
20K Followers 2K Following Yes, THAT Thanksgiving tweet. My Faves: https://t.co/90HdOEinlH Recent Tweets in Link Below.
Jennay Gump 🦐 🍫.. @jovialjennay
2K Followers 1K Following Allergic to shrimp. Number is on the wall. Mom of some kids.
The REAL Messy Mom @TheREALMessyMom
3K Followers 1K Following I am a REAL Mom With REAL Mess and REAL life. Read more at https://t.co/tLBLk1gD1f
Draggin Father Behind @DragginFatherB
2K Followers 1K Following Dad of 3 under 10 whos at most a 6 with an 11 scale wife just keepin it comical & muddlin thru. Fueled by 🥃 & ☕. Featured on @TheDad, @todayshow, @huffpost
Tat2skatermom @tat2skatermom
4K Followers 798 Following I’m a single mom to a adult kid who once declared her nickname to be Death Monkey. She’s way cooler than I’ll ever be.
Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTw0
4K Followers 1K Following Mum of 2 under 2 in 2022. Here for the laughs on all things parenting and marriage!
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
My Life Is The Pitts .. @LifePitts
5K Followers 2K Following Super awkward, like with a cape. Surprising amount of kids for someone who couldn't keep Tamagotchis alive.
Xennaissance Dad @XennDad
5K Followers 2K Following Various dad jokes, bad jokes. Featured by @Buzzfeed, @TODAYshow, more. Join me at @xenndad.bsky.social . To see my tweets click ⬇️
iamquiteadorable ✨ @adorableinNE
83K Followers 3K Following Pizza snob 🍕I am a keeper 🐝. Threads & IG: sabrina_take2
I will feed my dog chips over and over just to hear him open mouth crunch them, But if a person does that next to me…
I’ve been sending my husband some of my best jokes and he isn’t laughing at any of them. This is garbage.
you think you have it rough? the people i work with say things like happy friday eve…
I would do literally anything to lose 5 pounds right now except change my diet or increase my exercise.
Surely not the same kid who trashed my car for 16 years telling me not to bring trash in her car
My 6 year old just got back from visiting our elderly neighbor and said, “I told her we’d bring her some fresh baked cookies when they’re ready.” I informed her that we weren’t baking any cookies today and she said, “Oh, I guess we kinda have to now, don’t we?” Diabolical.
*tries on jeans* Ugh! *puts them back in closet* I’ll save those for when I lose 10 lbs. [2 years later] *tries on jeans* Ugh! *puts them back in closet* I’ll save those-
[Me 10 years ago] *sees a fire truck* Look, kids! Wow! A fire truck! [Me now] *sees a fire truck* *texts teen* You guys aren’t cooking anything are you?
These corporations are full of lies. They have no business calling this giant box of Cheetos a variety pack.
Listen, idk how it works but my bed becomes infinitely more comfortable from the hours of 5:30 am to 8:00 pm.
Can I call in pants too tight and go home if I am already at work
When your 8 year old gets in trouble at school for spelling curse words with scrabble tiles in school, it’s not appropriate to say “well, that’s fucking hilarious.” I know this now.
You are officially middle-aged when you take pride at how many produce price look up codes you have memorized.
When my 6yo told me he liked my old man hair I had to ask what he meant and he was like “you know, those really long squiggly ones at the end of your eyebrow” so there’s that.
true happiness as a parent is really only ever achieved when you find an ice cream flavor that you love and all of your kids hate
@sarcasticmommy4 You've just discovered the kitchen's Bermuda Triangle! Bread ties vanish but crumbs conveniently stay.
@sarcasticmommy4 I spent 23 minutes looking for the plastic tab and it was a tie all along. ?¿
@sarcasticmommy4 The first time I take them off, I replace them with a clip. Problem solved. ikea.com/us/en/p/bevara…
@sarcasticmommy4 Not just you x.com/gbergan/status…
Not a single home makeover show mentions how twist ties are impossible to see on a granite countertop.
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