Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV twitter.com/TheBoydP/timel… Houston, Texas Joined August 2012-
Tweets1.2M
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Followers102K
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Following20K
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Likes1.4M
When my 6yo told me he liked my old man hair I had to ask what he meant and he was like “you know, those really long squiggly ones at the end of your eyebrow” so there’s that.
me: you know what I think? wife: not really. It's usually dumb AF.
Met someone the other day who said their favorite color was yellow. What a psycho
I love Twitter. Because I know one of you would have sat with me in 7th grade at the lunch table.
I’ve been sending my husband some of my best jokes and he isn’t laughing at any of them. This is garbage.
Female spider: I give up. Every profile has a photo of them holding up the biggest bug they've caught. Female spider 2: I wouldn't worry about it. If the date is bad you can just eat him and the bug and move on.
I’m determined to do anything I put my mind to after panicking first, during and after.
Teen: You put “take a nap” on your to do list. Me: And your point is? Teen: Teen: No point. Carry on.
My kid said she can’t wait till she’s an adult and can eat chips for dinner, and I’m just happy she has some goals.
Everything happens for a whatever.
You know you're getting old when you find yourself genuinely thrilled about your favorite dish sponge coming in a few new colors.
Sometimes you gotta fill the bathtub with rice and sit in it to fix yourself.
Me at 1pm: I have so much self control, this diet is gonna be easy Me at 1am: crap, I ate all the candy again
Enjoying the reappearance of the sun, making new friends amongst the cherry blossoms, and an impromptu photo shoot.
You cannot control that which is unpredictable.
“You have to leave the house if you want to have something to tweet about today,” is the pep talk I’m giving myself this morning.
Putting no DM in your bio is as pointless as telling a criminal not to commit a crime.
Self checkout because I hate people.
All the things you hate in life disappear when you're dead.
I hate the way we destroyed each other with no solution.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1XTony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K FollowingAnnie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
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25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVphThe B. @anerdonfire2
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55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvoWilde Thingy @wildethingy
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3 Followers 123 Followingarif ch @arifch183809
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1K Followers 4K Following #Writer | #Author | #Designer #Che ❤️ Take a look at my book at the link below if you enjoy fictional love 👉🏽 #5ROOTSอ่อง ทุ�.. @xxngthun833448
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8 Followers 47 FollowingCliffson John @CJohn83852
2 Followers 52 FollowingBöb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Trey @treydayway
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48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVphThe B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 14K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, InfernoBenny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrctMarcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvoWilde Thingy @wildethingy
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27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgersMad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsndnice things I say to .. @meantomyself
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32 Followers 226 FollowingSam @3366bb
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771 Followers 717 Following On today’s episode of I have no idea what I’m doing… https://t.co/p2R6kolXhT🌊Sarcaustic Steve .. @probonoattorney
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82 Followers 443 FollowingAndi @smiles_and_nods
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1K Followers 2K Following Last Dance. 'Round and around and around and around we go...' Stay true Sue💚When my 6yo told me he liked my old man hair I had to ask what he meant and he was like “you know, those really long squiggly ones at the end of your eyebrow” so there’s that.
me: you know what I think? wife: not really. It's usually dumb AF.
Met someone the other day who said their favorite color was yellow. What a psycho
I love Twitter. Because I know one of you would have sat with me in 7th grade at the lunch table.
I’ve been sending my husband some of my best jokes and he isn’t laughing at any of them. This is garbage.
Female spider: I give up. Every profile has a photo of them holding up the biggest bug they've caught. Female spider 2: I wouldn't worry about it. If the date is bad you can just eat him and the bug and move on.
I’m determined to do anything I put my mind to after panicking first, during and after.
Teen: You put “take a nap” on your to do list. Me: And your point is? Teen: Teen: No point. Carry on.
My kid said she can’t wait till she’s an adult and can eat chips for dinner, and I’m just happy she has some goals.
You know you're getting old when you find yourself genuinely thrilled about your favorite dish sponge coming in a few new colors.
Sometimes you gotta fill the bathtub with rice and sit in it to fix yourself.
Me at 1pm: I have so much self control, this diet is gonna be easy Me at 1am: crap, I ate all the candy again
Enjoying the reappearance of the sun, making new friends amongst the cherry blossoms, and an impromptu photo shoot.
“You have to leave the house if you want to have something to tweet about today,” is the pep talk I’m giving myself this morning.
Putting no DM in your bio is as pointless as telling a criminal not to commit a crime.