SneezingWithWetMascara @WetMascara
Yes, THAT Thanksgiving tweet. My Faves: https://t.co/90HdOEinlH Recent Tweets in Link Below. twitter.com/search?q=from%… Joined December 2016-
Tweets88K
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Followers20K
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Following2K
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Likes98K
I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I do not feel ashamed. I'm your hell. I'm your dream. I'm nothing in between. You know you wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm a bitch. I'm a lover. I'm a child. I'm a mother. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint. I do not feel ashamed. I'm your hell. I'm your dream. I'm nothing in between. You know you wouldn't want it any other way.
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SneezingWithWetMascara retweeted
The Thanksgiving I was 37, I was dating a 45 year old guy, and my sister (who was 33) was dating the 25 year old son of the guy I was dating. Partway through Thanksgiving dinner, my dad got up, went outside, and mowed my sister's yard to calm himself down.
The Thanksgiving I was 37, I was dating a 45 year old guy, and my sister (who was 33) was dating the 25 year old son of the guy I was dating. Partway through Thanksgiving dinner, my dad got up, went outside, and mowed my sister's yard to calm himself down.
I just learned that Fruity Pebbles are flavored rice cereal which means hot Fruity Pebbles are fried rice.
SneezingWithWetMascara retweeted
Does anyone want to get high and build birdhouses with me?
SneezingWithWetMascara retweeted
Look, people used to give their infants heroin. You can probably give your eight-year-old a melatonin gummy.
SneezingWithWetMascara retweeted
trying to sound more sinister in normal conversation. i just invited my friend out for a drink tonight but i did it by saying “do u wanna meet me for a simple drink at a regular bar no strings attached nothing weird”
It's a beautiful day to argue with strangers on the internet.
Walking up to this restaurant like NOPE. The chokehold of fear Pennywise and @StephenKing have me in nearly 40 years later is real.
SneezingWithWetMascara retweeted
When your hypothetical cat poops both inside and outside the litterbox: Schrödinger's scat.
Why are your toes so many random different lengths? Feet looking like a bar chart.
Elon has completely fucked this place up.
They're absolutely roasting Elon over on BlueSky.
It's okay to go through a yellow light if you have to go number two really bad.
Google maps randomly in the middle of trip:
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Does anyone want to get high and build birdhouses with me?
Look, people used to give their infants heroin. You can probably give your eight-year-old a melatonin gummy.
trying to sound more sinister in normal conversation. i just invited my friend out for a drink tonight but i did it by saying “do u wanna meet me for a simple drink at a regular bar no strings attached nothing weird”
@WetMascara Not to brag, but I got kicked out of a bar in Florida just for dancing once. 😎
@WetMascara This is the only era when I believed I could dance. 🕺
@WetMascara absolutely. I'm not here as much because of it
@WetMascara Yes, so I bought a little forest and walk my nature trail daily. Heaven😇
@WetMascara @captrawrpants "And Covering At Work"
@WetMascara Dude, feet are one part of the body where it seems like it's so easy for things to go wrong or be slightly askew
@WetMascara What? How did you get to see my toes?
@WetMascara I won’t even pull over for an ambulance if I’m worried I won’t make it home in time.
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