That Mom Tho @mom_tho
contributor @scarymommy @romper [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6 thatmomtho.com Per aspera ad astra Joined July 2019-
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It’s really nice and maybe a little sad how a little slice of cheese can really change the course of my day
I set out a suitcase to pack for my flight later today and spotted my 3 year old crawling inside it to hide. I casually zipped it up, yelled "I'M OFF TO THE AIRPORT, EVERYBODY!", and carried it to the car. I've circled the block twice and my luggage hasn't stopped laughing.
What's great about older kids is that there's no longer food crumbs everywhere and they pick up after themselves and if you believed this I'm sorry. I'm totally lying. It's actually way worse. More crumbs. Hope this helps you younger parents out there.
i wanted to be really productive at work today except i don’t
me: you know what I think? wife: not really. It's usually dumb AF.
me: hey! you were supposed to be grounded! 7: yeah well you forgot that’s not my fault me: damn you’re right 7: you can’t swear!! me: um…let’s just call it even
I told my therapist all the healthy strides I was making like exercising and eating well She told me I needed to take more Xanax
My 7yo kept asking me to join her server in Roblox. When I finally did, she told me she was going to set me up in a house across town from hers and that we wouldn’t be visiting each other much. When I asked her why, she said “I just want to do my own thing.”
I’m confused as to what’s happening over at shein other than god awful photoshop
Happy 13 years of putting up with me 😮💨
Having nightmares in my sleep when I was young consisted of being chased by monsters and murderers. Now in my 40s they're about receiving an unusually high water or electric bill.
the transition from oversized to sized my clothing makes is the most painful
Why wait for tomorrow what you can accomplish today. -me deciding to have a midlife crisis
Someone dressed their llama up as a groomsmen in their wedding and why am I obsessed with this? 😂💀
my daughter might be other worldly because she keeps calling them portal pottys
Teenage boys these days are rocking the Bea Arthur hairstyle like a boss.
i love dentistry in america like here let me pay you for luxury insurance so someone can edward scissorhands my mouth for an hour
My kids saw mail I received that was addressed to me as “Mr.” and then my 9yo asked “Why do you have a mister in front of your name? I didn’t know you were an important person.”
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@mom_tho That’s a great quality. I’d love to have such an easy pick me up. (I know you’re half kidding.)
@mom_tho We all love dairy fat. Those lipids are a delight
I set out a suitcase to pack for my flight later today and spotted my 3 year old crawling inside it to hide. I casually zipped it up, yelled "I'M OFF TO THE AIRPORT, EVERYBODY!", and carried it to the car. I've circled the block twice and my luggage hasn't stopped laughing.
What's great about older kids is that there's no longer food crumbs everywhere and they pick up after themselves and if you believed this I'm sorry. I'm totally lying. It's actually way worse. More crumbs. Hope this helps you younger parents out there.
@mom_tho Once I was sent to my room and was having such a good time I completely forgot I wasn't supposed to come out. After a few minutes either my parents or my brother were like "wait a minute!?"
@mom_tho I don't get the American health system at all. I'm visiting later this year for about a month and taking extra meds with me b/c the health situation in US scares the living daylights outta me. All the best getting the support you need 🫂
me: you know what I think? wife: not really. It's usually dumb AF.
@mom_tho That said, I do find a lot of benefit in lifestyle choices like yours (working out, plenty water, etc...). But if it is bad, I use CBD or CBG to buffer myself a bit.
@mom_tho They gave me that and Buspar when I got diagnosed with severe anxiety. I hated the way I felt all the time, and my ex was taking more of the Xannies than I was. Doctor was clearly disgruntled when I walked in and cut myself off.
My 7yo kept asking me to join her server in Roblox. When I finally did, she told me she was going to set me up in a house across town from hers and that we wouldn’t be visiting each other much. When I asked her why, she said “I just want to do my own thing.”
The Supreme Court is hearing cases regarding criminalizing homelessness... be SO FOR REAL right now. We'd rather use tax money to feed and house them in JAILS than actual fucking homes?! BE SO FOR REAL.
if you thought i had style and class before, just wait
@mom_tho Is it intentionally designed like this?
@mom_tho That’s crazy! *secretly writes down product info for Father’s Day wish list*
@mom_tho I’m dying because I thought they were selling a tee with a blown out middle and you were supposed to tape it to yourself. 😂
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