mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more. msha.ke/momsoverhere Joined November 2019-
Tweets76K
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Followers27K
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Following3K
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Likes120K
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
me: going to the bookstore just to look also me: not buying these books would be financially irresponsible
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mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
A dry wedding is just like a regular wedding but with no reason to be there
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
The biggest lie 90s dudes told was that there was something in that wallet that made it worth chaining up
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
You know you're getting old when you find yourself genuinely thrilled about your favorite dish sponge coming in a few new colors.
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
me: I don’t like other people’s kids them: how old are yours? me: I don’t have any
When your 8 year old gets in trouble at school for spelling curse words with scrabble tiles in school, it’s not appropriate to say “well, that’s fucking hilarious.” I know this now.
my kid announced she is writing her New York Times bestseller “Dumb Ways to Swing.”
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
Got a kit for folks to have fun with and make bracelets today at the coworking space. What's the funniest word or phrase I can use on mine? I will abide by the results of this informal poll.
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
Spelling counts when searching... Camel Tow
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
Trader Joe’s cashier: so any plans for your birthday me: *gestures at cart full of wine and cheese*
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
Met someone the other day who said their favorite color was yellow. What a psycho
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
Me and who trojan horsing our way into this home goods
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
the guy at the pet shop warned me not to get him wet
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
Growing up, Sesame Street taught me the importance of education, empathy, and kindness. Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, taught me that revenge on my enemies should be quick, clever, and brutal.
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
Congrats, YouTube. the algorithm really nailed my 10 year-old with ads for boxed wine, divorce attorneys and the swiffer wet jet
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
“I don’t know why you don’t just leave him, Elaine.”
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
You are officially middle-aged when you take pride at how many produce price look up codes you have memorized.
mom mom mom mom mom retweeted
Sometimes you need that hit of sweet & salty all at once. Anyone who has eaten @Wendys has tried the taste sensation of fries dipped in a Frosty, & if you aren't adding honey (or @mikeshothoney) to pizza, you should preorder your dinner now. Which tingles your taste buds?
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
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NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
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Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
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@itssherifield @itssherifield
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sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
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meghan @deloisivete
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nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal
136K Followers 2K Following Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM. https://t.co/jv3VQ5CW4O
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 964 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
DollysShoes @EileenCushman
971 Followers 2K Following #Resistance #BlueTsunami #LockThemUp #BanAssaultWeapons #BanTrophyHunting #CleanAir #ScienceIsReal#JackSmithWins
PsychoDoc @PsychoDoc4
1 Followers 282 Following
zetana Leo @ZetanaL4002
30 Followers 243 Following
Barbar @Barbar407029733
29 Followers 59 Following
Eryn Rubey @ErynRubey
55 Followers 250 Following
Agippo @Agippo_Vermith
1K Followers 5K Following Catholique, européen et atlantiste enthousiaste, localiste modéré. Intéressé par les systèmes de gestion, les mathématiques et l'architecture. Plutôt inoffensif
Ashley Chapman @momchronicles18
16 Followers 375 Following I’m just a mom that’s been momming for 17 years. I have 5 kids (Jennifer 17 ♏️ Jon 16 ♏️ Justin 14 ♌️ Jessica 7 ♎️ and Jayden 1 ♏️) I done seen it all 💁🏻♀️
Parenting Unscripted @ParentUnscriptd
1 Followers 15 Following Welcome to Parenting Unscripted! Where I share my unique journey of connecting with my children and invaluable insights into the wild ride of parenthood.
Sasky @Sasky_Regina
685 Followers 1K Following Conservative Sask professional who is anonymous to keep friends, colleagues, and family happy. Husband/father/aspiring guitar player.
carole lynch @lynch_caro76836
2 Followers 22 Following
Jaded Hearts 💋 @RouxJanis
2K Followers 3K Following ♐💋☮️ 🇿🇦Single mom. Believer in love & all its magic 💖 Coffee drinker. Life is hard. It's harder if you’re stupid! #letsgrowtogether 🚫NO PORN🚫
Andy Brown @spuzle_brown
47 Followers 226 Following I FIGHT FOR EARTH I FIGHT FOR THE USA I STAND FOR - LOVE! -
Rod @rod_miki85
1 Followers 140 Following
carl @dm1000121
34 Followers 522 Following
Clay Tablet,hello all.. @AllFarRightBoo
241 Followers 1K Following KEEP IT POSITIVE OR ELSE. Critic of Alleged Fatalism, Party Fake #fiestainamerica Secured Party Important Creditor Emergency Response Society #spicers
Mom on Maternity Leav.. @OnMaternity
6 Followers 32 Following Mom on maternity leave. Tweets while nursing/holding sleeping baby. Just need an outlet so I don’t text my husband constantly while he’s working.
Ademilekan Emmanuel @emmanuel91749
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giovanni ferrari @SayCheeseM3dia
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Dana O’Brien Stott @danamichele218
310 Followers 1K Following You can't buy love, but you can rescue it #AdoptDontShop, @Suffolk_U grad and devout @NHLBruins fan.
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MM Surplus and More @MMSurplusMore
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Captainmorgan22 @Cptmorgan22
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maye musk ✪ @maye_9k
93 Followers 1K Following Bestselling International Author #AWomanMakesAPlan 📖Doctor of Dietetics 👩🎓 Supermodel 😉💃 #ItsGreatToBe75 Agents⬇️
Molamin drammeh ✝�.. @DarboeFakk90452
130 Followers 4K Following The Lord makes poor and makes rich; he brings low and he exalts.
Jamall Mitchell @jamall_mit39705
18 Followers 58 Following
Poppy Whisker @WhiskerBooks
79 Followers 442 Following Meet Poppy Whisker and Marina Authors of heartwarming tools for an organized life. Simplifying your days with practical planners and journals on Amazon
CHK @2BD4U2
68 Followers 171 Following
Brian Bodor @Bodog96
689 Followers 4K Following Gonna tell you how much I 💕 you. Though you think you already know. Gonna SHOW you how much I 💕 you. THEN you will finally know.
Goget Gorgia @GogetG41199
15 Followers 552 Following
bestrepostadda @bestrepostadda
299 Followers 4K Following
Wiffle Ball Helmet @wffleballhelmet
5K Followers 4K Following Who mistook the steak for chicken? ⚜️🐘☀️⚡️ 🚗9️⃣ and 2️⃣3️⃣ ; 🏎5️⃣ 🏎️ ALO. I hate pineapple.
Crazy _Bitcha @CBitcha99835
55 Followers 108 Following
Mr. Giggles @MrGiggles4Fun
129 Followers 888 Following A guy exploring the spicy side. The most important erogenous zone is the mind. Wanna-be #erotica writer. 50s | NSFW | 18+ Only
jonh @jensen264
18 Followers 5K Following
Jonathan Overton @urduecksalesguy
105K Followers 41K Following Commissioner of The Legendary Football Pool * x World Famous Car Salesman ⚡️https://t.co/paDcnRty8S⚡️ @MediSpa_LaBella #Just_Du_eck #PickLegendary
Forbidden Lust @HungGigolo
494 Followers 4K Following
Melinda Morrison Guli.. @melindagulick
283 Followers 504 Following Boy mom. SMU Mustang, passionate about kids, education, community, the Sonoran Desert and rescue dogs.
Crypto_trade_📉📈.. @harris_maryyy_
979 Followers 5K Following GOD FIRST🕊🤍 🌴Kansas/NY 👩💻Forex Trader📉 Account Management 📉Binary Options Trades 📚Become A Member And Join The World’s Most Profitable Platform 📨DM
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
Lil Bit 🌈 @LizerReal
59K Followers 983 Following Wife of a guy. Mother to spawns. Sugar glider in my bra. Parenting cautionary tale. (she/her)
That Mom Tho @mom_tho
47K Followers 3K Following contributor @scarymommy @romper [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
15K Followers 974 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfK
One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom
14K Followers 941 Following wife || mom of three || perpetually late || relatively unsociable || my tweets ➡️ https://t.co/zTOnobXohj
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal
136K Followers 2K Following Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM. https://t.co/jv3VQ5CW4O
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 964 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
Hollie Harris @allholls
492 Followers 164 Following Writer. Mom. Storyteller. #GenXer. And apparently the person in charge of what's for dinner until the end of time.
Hanging with the rais.. @TheHappySlut1
30K Followers 4K Following it leads you here despite your destination
What Kaity Did💋�.. @watk8edid
1K Followers 959 Following I don't know I just tweet here| Daddy has my heart and soul | Bi | 18+| She/Her/Hers |Heart of Gold Sweet Sassy Smart Assey| Mental Health Advocate | Check pin
KC_Sass @KC_Sass
28K Followers 10K Following Red Dirt lover. Wine,Beer & tequila. Chiefs & Jayhawks. Classy, Sassy and a bit Bad Assy. “I’m unhinged, unworthy and distasteful to mostly everyone I meet” ZB
Censored Girl @Girl_Censored
22K Followers 2K Following I say things. 18+ please. https://t.co/DDYywOg2rA
👑Snarky Princess�.. @iamn0ty0urstar
12K Followers 11K Following Classy, sassy, and a bit smart ass-y.
just_rebecca @justrebecca3
3K Followers 2K Following Retweeting your brilliance, and every now and then sharing a marginally original thought. Came for the pandemic and never left. No, you can’t see my feet.
Taco Biscuits @bgschnikelfritz
6K Followers 1K Following What’s the scuttlebutt? Seen on HuffPost https://t.co/hkCIhZOvyb
Jess 🌵💙🥴 @jessiejess1228
8K Followers 5K Following 💙 Black Lives Matter 💙 Snooty cheese whore 💙 Ass that won't quit, and neither will my anxiety 💙 Pronouns: She/Her 💙
DontThinkSo🏳️.. @dontthinkso4
11K Followers 11K Following 🏳️🌈Lesbian🏳️🌈she/her🌈LGBTQIA🌈AVI is me💅🏻Femme4Femme💅🏻We are both the girl in the relationship, that’s kinda the point🌈Married🌈👩🏻🦰👩🏻💍💍❤️💋
amylou @drinkerbelle4
44K Followers 6K Following 🍸🧚🏻♂️ NSFW 😈 hi. I’m a brat. No OF. your wife can DM.🎀🌈🦄https://t.co/D9v4j99M98
Heaux Pro Boner @alice_x_daniels
17K Followers 6K Following Stoner Boner Loner Goner ✨https://t.co/cfTeaY7Oz1 🍃https://t.co/yFFZtKtXx1
TotallyLikeable @TotallyLikeable
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live.laugh.toasterbat.. @_toaster_bath_
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kyra @queenoffolly
249 Followers 275 Following she/her | DSA🌹 | baby yoda evangelist | aspiring stay at home cat mom | emotionally vacant 🌫
Kit @Zombie_Kitv2
4K Followers 2K Following Avi by @shapesincommon. Book lover, gamer, cat wrangler, autoimmune fighter. Tweets: https://t.co/6qiuUppdAb
death angel @angel_0f_deathx
108K Followers 1K Following pied piper of ass | gym enjoyer | switch ⛓️ MDNI🔞
everything is not ok @dimestorenerd
20K Followers 1K Following
ModestSpouse @LemonyKlem
2K Followers 1K Following amateur mushroom photographer. creep. $lemonyklem https://t.co/MrBgMC6MNl
Stacie 🏳️🌈 @StacieS37649844
950 Followers 619 Following •LGBT Mafia board member • Used Cat Dealer • Gen Woke • likes house spiders more than people • read my pinned tweet • she/her/empress •League of Badass member
Gena @AFrouFrouFox
4K Followers 688 Following Married suburban witch, undercover forest nymph, anonymous internet exhibitionist.
Darla the Dirty @DarlaTheDirty
358 Followers 208 Following Product of horny aliens. Squirrel in your pants.
✨ slutty sweetheart.. @jane_pizza
1K Followers 541 Following 18+ | NSFW | MDNI | main- @pizza_jane | fetlife- pizzajane
Roxanne 🇫🇮🇮�.. @roxinbound
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Ninisaurus @momoftwocats
4K Followers 2K Following The original chick in a pig suit. Podcast👇🏼https://t.co/eqw7XcsF0K
Darla the Darling @DarlaTheDarling
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Darling Nikki @I_knew_a_girl_
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Buxom Slayer of Men @pizza_jane
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Lo, bird app avoider @LoSucks
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Respectful Memes @RespectfulMemes
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Nubbin00 @nubbin00_
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JodingersCat-astrophe @JMoneySlimer
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mean to myself too @hononymouspod
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“mary” (barb wate.. @maryjsayswhat
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Makedo @Makedo
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Kerri Rawson @KerriRawson
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Ask Your Mom @letsaskyourmom_
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Amy Lyle - unlucky bu.. @amylyle
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Artifact @heyartifact
533 Followers 78 Following Capture family stories and celebrate the people in your life—our professional interviewers make it easy. Recommended by the Today Show and Wirecutter.me: going to the bookstore just to look also me: not buying these books would be financially irresponsible
A dry wedding is just like a regular wedding but with no reason to be there
The biggest lie 90s dudes told was that there was something in that wallet that made it worth chaining up
You know you're getting old when you find yourself genuinely thrilled about your favorite dish sponge coming in a few new colors.
me: I don’t like other people’s kids them: how old are yours? me: I don’t have any
Got a kit for folks to have fun with and make bracelets today at the coworking space. What's the funniest word or phrase I can use on mine? I will abide by the results of this informal poll.
Spelling counts when searching... Camel Tow
Trader Joe’s cashier: so any plans for your birthday me: *gestures at cart full of wine and cheese*
Met someone the other day who said their favorite color was yellow. What a psycho
@notmythirdrodeo Can’t wait to pick this up at the airport when I need a fun read :)
Me and who trojan horsing our way into this home goods
@notmythirdrodeo I'm the example in Chapter 4: "When swinging across a small creek on a rope.... fully clothed.... you should be high enough on the rope to be above the water level at the lowest arc of the swing." I was not.
@notmythirdrodeo The teacher is gonna call your mom now.
@notmythirdrodeo Is this one?
@notmythirdrodeo Ooops! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
the guy at the pet shop warned me not to get him wet
Growing up, Sesame Street taught me the importance of education, empathy, and kindness. Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, taught me that revenge on my enemies should be quick, clever, and brutal.
@notmythirdrodeo May not be appropriate, but unavoidable 🤣
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