Paul McCoy @impaulmccoy
Irish Exit King. Chit Chat survivor. Swipes to finish. Virginia Beach Joined February 2011-
Tweets5K
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Followers1K
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Following2K
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Likes9K
This one may be a little old for your tastes @Bob_Janke
Paul McCoy retweeted
I’m lying on a pretzel crumb in bed but don’t feel like moving. I’ll let you guys know how this plays out.
I saw a rabbit in the bushes earlier today and wanted to say ‘hey bunny’ but it came out as ‘hey babe’. What’s that about?
I wonder if eye doctors at the end of their workday say “I’ll see myself out”.. 🤔
I think Bonnie Tyler should do a remix of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and release it tomorrow.
This ketchup tastes weird. Guess I’ll have to eat this glazed donut plain.
Move to change the phrase “at the end of the day” to “at the end of the day after tomorrow”.
When you talk to your parents who have a landline, the conversation is just a series of beeps and being muted.
I will never get caught up in semantics because I don’t know what that means.
Nobody has ever said “OMG I can’t get over how delicious this banana is! I can’t wait to have another!”
Don’t forget, today you’re legally allowed to stab somebody (up to 23 times) and you can’t get in trouble.
What if instead of Eve, her name was Debbie? Adam & Debbie.
Do you also say “ow” out loud when you bump into something even though there is absolutely no pain involved whatsoever? Me neither.
Birds flying around in heavy rain proves that they aren’t real.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
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Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
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Bob Golen @BobGolen
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Blaine Stewart @BlaineStewart
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Most Requested Live @MostRequestLive
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sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
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Corey James Moran @TheRealtorCorey
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elizabethany [eb] @luvelizabethany
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SneezingWithWetMascar.. @WetMascara
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Jessie @mommajessiec
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Simon Holland @simoncholland
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Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
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Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
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Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
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Jason Not Evil @JasonNotEvil
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Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪ.. @sofarrsogud
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Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
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Bob Golen @BobGolen
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Dubzy @DubzyOnceAgain
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Cat From Nowhere @kv8
17K Followers 10K Following omnipresent in absentia, perchance frittering my time away on twitter. ok fine, X. .•| sui juris |•.
Philosopher King, Ora.. @signalborder
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Flups @TheRealFlups
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Drew (some assembly r.. @dmc1138
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internet hall of fame @InternetH0F
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Parenting Presently (.. @presentparent_
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James Colley @JamColley
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Dean @dakarrier
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Airways Magazine @airwaysmagazine
157K Followers 910 Following A Global Review of Commercial Flight | Publishing since 1994She's got legs and knows how to use them but her arms just hang there like sausages
Demolition team finds 104 year old time capsule nypost.com/2024/04/28/lif…
How come you only hear about folks being nonchalant? No one is ever like "To be honest I feel chalant as shit this morning."
Walking around downtown on my lunchbreak when I hear someone unload probably an entire magazine. I guess I'll watch the evening news to see where the shooting was.
It's soul crushing explaining to a younger person "Betamax" wasn't a vitamin we took in the 80s.
"It's true, 3 of the newly released songs on Taylor Swift's new album are in regards to our tumultuous relationship and whatnot... I'd appreciate privacy during this time"
I don’t know about everyone else but I have never separated my clothes in the washing machine and I never will.
Just brought a bunch of my old shit to Trader Joe's to do some trading but those assholes will only take money. Trader Joe's is a lie and whatnot.
@anybodyshoots I look at it like this. People will spend $3,000 on carbon fiber parts for their crappy Honda and still have fun. There's different value to each of us for things.
When you see someone over 40 out in public after 9PM, there's a 100% chance they took a nap earlier in the day
Could we make the tweet font a little larger? I’m trying to drive.
Not to brag, but I was alive when you could SLAM the phone down to hang up on someone. It was spectacular.
A look at the #SNL Five-Timers Club that Kristen Wiig is set to join tonight!
@PicturesFoIder Man, I don't understand fish anatomy at all.
tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.
@NoContextHumans Humanity ♥️
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