Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo wherever my dogs are Joined August 2012-
Tweets282K
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Followers61K
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Following4K
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Likes805K
Making a bundle selling protest-ready posterboard. $35 per sheet. It's raining cash.
Whenever I hear people are talking about me behind my back, I smile, because I love attention.
To all of the people irritated by being behind a student driver, I promise you that what you’re experiencing pales in comparison to what the passenger in that car is experiencing. So please just chill out. Sincerely, the mother of a student driver.
sometimes you just need a friend who will let us say the inside stuff out loud without judgement or advise so you can process how you’re feeling
boomer men are the least charming
Who you are is the real you
just filled my car with gas before the tank was empty everybody clap
I showed you my artisanal flatbread please respond
The thing about the bagpipes is you need to get up early and practice softly before the rest of the family wakes up.
Nobody tells you what a game changer prescription sunglasses are because it's mostly a quiet celebration in your vehicle, driving away from the optometrist.
please tell me i'm not as forgettable as your silence makes me feel
Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up in the couch.
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but they faked little house on the Prairie
If I am giving myself to you wrapped in a bow be gentle
I saw Carol Burnett trending and thought it was her turn with Pete Davidson.
When I say I'm Canadian, I mean 'wears my jean jacket to a wedding reception' Canadian
At bedtime I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.
I wish I was smarter and actually did something with my life.
Spring is when I feel like I’m dying inside, however, everything around me is coming alive.
Sometimes emotion puts logic in the corner and tells it not to move.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdish.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •vision bored @visionbored2
43K Followers 986 Followingsixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2S̲uper H̲uman A̲ut.. @_indica_sky
45K Followers 2K Followinginspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
19K Followers 7K Following Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 965 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4PwHelleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonztazz @noneofyours99
85K Followers 46K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥natalayhehoo @highprobably1
38K Followers 3K Following This is not the profile you’re looking for. Gemini and Vol for life. Taken not stirred.Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVphSalty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
13K Followers 9K Following We hardly talk about clams anymore and frankly I’m steamed about it https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2Freda @hadorikie69868
4 Followers 204 FollowingAnnabelle @Tess538869
9 Followers 985 Following I am a lively and cheerful girl who would like to meet a good friend.gulkhan @YouthiyaSmasher
38 Followers 250 FollowingAkim Bogdan @AkimBogdan85395
5 Followers 98 Following Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physicianTheoni Rogersen @RogersenTh49909
1K Followers 4K Following Artist instagram @theonirogersen 🧘♀️ swimming 🏊♀️ my hobbies, florida, happy! from Athens Greece 🇬🇷married one daughter NO (DM) No (Porno)Ray Simmons @raymondhsimmons
2K Followers 5K Following Lawyer; moderate old-school Democrat; critical, rational and independent thinker; follower of Stoicism, pragmatic and tolerant but a Never Trumper!Cathy Sinsabaugh 💕.. @CathySin6
989 Followers 4K Following hi I am christian . I love my family and looking for friends who are supportive of being kind to one another compassion smile 😊Em Weeks @mandahemweeks
196 Followers 1K Following Love ❤️ Live life ✌️Proceed☮️ Progress🤘 🌋 #ripjw #justice4johnweeks #longlivejw #homicidesurvivor #dtlv #northernaz #truecrime #justiceseeker #advocatelaura kaufman @kaufman19726
2K Followers 4K Following #nomagats #tRumpwearsDepends I also love dogs more than people and I think #FamilyGuy deserves an Emmy. No DMs, and no ‘porn stars’.Wang Bae @WangBae123
612 Followers 5K Following The principal motivation of humanitarian action is to save lives and alleviate suffering in a manner that respects and restores personal dignity.Elon Musk X-Global @elon_xglobal
29 Followers 504 Following He is the founder, chairman, CEO, and CTO of SpaceX; angel investor, CEO, product architect TeslaLéo @Leowrit
28 Followers 266 Following 29, Writer, Athlete, Adventurer, Cat lover, Coffeeholic, Moon Connoisseur. INTJ with severe ADHD. Posting daily thoughts on #XKerry Nelson @AuntHoratio
68 Followers 579 Following Burnt out nurse, European, one of the woke folk, lefty, internationalist, empiricist, ally, twin, aunt, friend, doer of small good things. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️🐶🌍Emili Sophie @AnthonyPor79412
406 Followers 5K Following My alone feels so good, I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitudeJay Ray @RayJay37322
1 Followers 25 FollowingSharrellAnne @SharrellAnne2
3K Followers 5K Following 🇺🇸America First Patriot & Gold Star Wife🌟 Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.~M. Twain🇺🇲❤️WPS🤍🇺🇲Nikki Polansky @nikkifaceful
38K Followers 20K Following Former child actress. Now I try to tweet the funny on the internet. And shoes. Follow me, I swear I know what I'm doing.Ezekial The Protector @ezekialwagoner
910 Followers 2K Following Father of 4. I pick up trash in parks and forests in my spare time. Affirmations, sportsball, and pro wrestling. #LoveIsTheOnlyLawSonaboo @soniataylorboo1
463 Followers 2K Following Cancer is a shithouse. Scouse bird too stubborn to stay down. Technical Manager in S. Yorkshire Liverpool born, Everton bred COYB.Gregory Maisonville @GregoryMaisonv2
130 Followers 142 Following Diogenes Club member/ don't mess with an introvert. Think bravely. Greatest show on Earth! One against millionsKit @kadomatsuy16484
4 Followers 211 FollowingCuddables.in @cuddablesin
42 Followers 132 Following Join us in embracing a nurturing journey where every cuddables is an expression of care and purity .#Cuddables #BabyCare #Vegan #ToxinFree #NaturalIngredientsDarling Nikki @I_knew_a_girl_
10K Followers 2K Following Loves animals, tolerates people. Collects Souls & Chucks. 💗💜💙OneGoodCult @OneGoodCult
0 Followers 43 Following Join me. No narcissistic leader. No weird sex stuff.Clay Tablet,hello all.. @AllFarRightBoo
253 Followers 1K Following KEEP IT POSITIVE OR ELSE. Critic of Alleged Fatalism, Party Fake #fiestainamerica Secured Party Important Creditor Emergency Response Society #spicersPug Lovers Club5 @pugloversclub5
1K Followers 4K Following Welcome to #pugloversclub5 We share daily #PugContents Follow us if you really @lovepugXi Chen @XiChen137596
0 Followers 3 FollowingShooting @Skeetermeter222
0 Followers 412 FollowingSport Babes @sportbabesfemi
1K Followers 4K Following Pictures and videos of the hottest sports babesPhillip Jackson @PJackson29235
0 Followers 7 FollowingHobbstyle @Hobbstyle53
8K Followers 8K Following 🇺🇸Optimistic Tesla/Elon Musk fan. $TSLA Holder since 2023. I believe in God, and America 💪🛡⛓️💥🙏🇺🇸plz follow, IFB.🔥Good wins!B @Seattlestella
931 Followers 2K Following retired teenager stuck in old woman's body. still not sure what color my parachute is?DJ WOLF e. @DJWOLF_e
9K Followers 7K Following Trance DJ & Producer - Owner PHOENIXRISINGpresents - Ibiza Enthusiast - Cat Daddy - Reagan Era Conservative - Science GeekEnja,#FBR#🌊💙#Vo.. @enja1949
32K Followers 34K Following #Blueforever#Ukraine🇺🇦#WomensRights🗳#Vacinate💉#Democracy#BlueCrew#ClimateChange🌦#Woke#2statesoluton#EqualityforAll#BidenHarris#BanAssaultWeapons🇨🇦🇺🇸Maria James E. @MariaJames879
469 Followers 4K FollowingBeautiful Nobody @B_utifulNobody
60 Followers 608 Following I'm a billionaire because I said so. 💰💰💰Sue Totten @SuzyTotten
113 Followers 568 Following Trigger Warning: Extreme Artistry! Vulgar Shit Posting! Unconventional Song Lyrics! My page will hurt your feelings at some point. Ye Be WarnedBöb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdish.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •vision bored @visionbored2
43K Followers 986 Followingsixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2S̲uper H̲uman A̲ut.. @_indica_sky
45K Followers 2K Followinginspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
19K Followers 7K Following Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 965 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4PwHelleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonztazz @noneofyours99
85K Followers 46K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥natalayhehoo @highprobably1
38K Followers 3K Following This is not the profile you’re looking for. Gemini and Vol for life. Taken not stirred.Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVphSalty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
13K Followers 9K Following We hardly talk about clams anymore and frankly I’m steamed about it https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2Vera Kober @verakober
25K Followers 2K Following Oil and acrylic painter. Original paintings on canvas.Darling Nikki @I_knew_a_girl_
10K Followers 2K Following Loves animals, tolerates people. Collects Souls & Chucks. 💗💜💙Super Mark @supermarkusa
5K Followers 916 Following Just a dad here taking a break from the daily grind by spreading my wisdom,humor,intelligence and sexiness🇺🇸SnarkAngel™️Carme.. @therealevel1
7K Followers 6K Following Writer, poet, dreamer, animal lover, creative force of nature, tree hugging, civil rights loving liberal, enjoy frolicking in snark infested waters🦈🌊🌊🌊💙Princess Consuela Ban.. @iluvtacos0822
96K Followers 2K Following I’m a wife/mom and my love language is Weiner dogs, coffee, food, video games and sports. Green eyes that will haunt you. https://t.co/WqHdn2i3z5🌵Prickly Persona �.. @FoTweetsSake
764 Followers 753 Following I is a black man and I alsos be white.Kaya 🫶🏻🪩✨ @kyylien
9K Followers 2K Following “hold it further away so you get a better shot!” - Mariska Hargitay teaching me how to take a selfieNarcissistic Abuse Aw.. @AwareOfTheNarc
15K Followers 1K Following #Narcissist Abuse Survivor. Writer. 💜 Informational posts about #Narcissism. Items that have helped in my healing ➡️❤️🩹 https://t.co/NU1VcicNO7Jenny Doesnt Know @HighlyIngenious
4K Followers 3K Following Books, snacks, horror movies, dark humor, cheese, & insanity covered cat by fur. Navy Veteran. She/her #BlackLivesMatter #PrideCali @calidaysay
3K Followers 2K Following Blessed are the curious, for they shall have adventures. 🏝⚓️✈️☀️ Rarely check my DM’s. Happily taken. 🩷𝒦𝓎 @justky1018
32K Followers 880 Following funny n relatable socially-conscious hot chick ✨Black lives ALWAYS matter✨ insta: justky1018✨$30 DM FeeTiff @tiffofthenorth
11K Followers 3K Following foodie | wifed ⬆️ | mom to teens | funsies account | Tweets *may* be jokes and *probably* not about you 😄 Backup: @TiffOfTheSouthBella 🌺🏖 @BellaBeBeaching
1K Followers 997 Following Somewhere between heaven and hell I found myself.Ninja Dad @ninjadadofone
1K Followers 582 Following Dad. Not On The Market. Bourbon Drinker. Guitar Player. Professional Procrastinator.erica @ericanextdooor
10K Followers 9K Following making parlays & petting strays • 𝐣𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐤𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞𝕆𝕟𝕖 𝕋𝕠.. @wolfsingleton
362 Followers 338 Following There's gonna be lots of wordplay and foreplay involved. Strap in fucker.❥ 𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧�.. @jen_in_reverie
6K Followers 224 Following I αɱ ზҽƈαυʂҽ ɯҽ αɾҽ... #fuckcancer in remission 9/27/23BeerKnitter @beerknitter
55 Followers 83 Following “It's a business of sadists and masochists, and you know which one you are.”Flynn Unbound @FlynnUnbound
3K Followers 2K Following Science, travel, photography, nature, books, goals, exploring, lightning, sports… build each other up. authenticity matters. relationships matter.Ginja 🧚🏻♀�.. @GinjaBunaidh
98 Followers 142 Following Once a Ginja, always a Ginja. A little changed, for the better. Kinda back. I'm really just here for the food. And cute animal accounts. 🥰JJ in NH @JustJoshinNH
11K Followers 6K Following Cishet, he/him. Dem. Reluctant optimist. Pibble papa. McRib stan. I wear cardigans and write fiction. Take my advice: I'm not using it. ♎️✡️☕️ 🚬Sweet Momissa @sweetmomissa
44K Followers 10K Following Like the song only saltier. Started as a blogger now I’m here.JFK’s Unindicted Sh.. @JFKsShinyTeeth
1K Followers 5K Following Events Coordinator - Four Seasons Total LandscapingQue Sera Sara @Solfabulous
323 Followers 1K Following Arizona raised, UA grad, server cycler pro, transplant survivor...horse obsessed. Mainly posts here about life with my husband on our little Georgia farmDak Harding @DakHarding
737 Followers 416 Following In laughter's embrace, scars find their place. Humor, my shield, and saving grace. An echo of peace, a quest I chase. To one day be free, in a safe space. ~DHX❤Danomaly❤️X @DatWalshGurl
1K Followers 1K Following Kindness is free-sprinkle that shit everywhere. I'm a super hero on here.. I am not a bot.. Here is my cashapp name..Mo🤦🏻♂️�.. @Mo_Ajudgemind
3K Followers 2K Following Prosecutor mind 🏛. My real curse is that I notice everything.MsMariaBlack Covid Ca.. @Msmariablack
33K Followers 33K Following ❤Animals, good food, & smart people. Good mix of sane / crazy / kind / bitchy /wise / foolish. 🚫 all the shitty stuff! I miss reality 👿 💙💛🌻Acrylic Arts Academy @AcrylicAcademy
277 Followers 274 Following We teach the world to paint! Check out our acrylic painting guidebook for beginners: https://t.co/vvYFbPOmnn #learntopaint #acrylicpaintingKayla Chow Show @KaylaChowShow
47K Followers 15K Following 💙 Survived my mid-mid-life crisis. //SUPER MARRIED//BOY MOM//CATS//TACOS//SUNSCREEN//BEER//MURDERINO//LACTOSE INTOLERANT// 💙VENMO @ Kayla-Chow-ShowSturdy Jenn @nogooddeed2
13K Followers 1K Following Texpat vet who finally made it home. Birds, booze, and bouquets. Pourer of potent potations. Useful everywhere. I’m a damn Swiss Army knife.OneToothTe𝕏an @OneToothTeXan
3K Followers 3K Following 🇺🇸 • artist • smart-ass • freethinker • patriot • 🇺🇸Bill @Still_Bill_2244
834 Followers 830 Following living the American dream. Work hard/Play harder. Don’t sweat the small stuff. 😃 @chichigreenblat personal reply guy and Perv patrol.Sam @333666bbb
7K Followers 6K Following A quiet man with the loudest fucking mind. 2nd account @3366bbAndi @smiles_and_nods
413 Followers 243 Following Andi 2.0 Lost everyone during my Twitter sabbatical. please follow again.Making a bundle selling protest-ready posterboard. $35 per sheet. It's raining cash.
If your partner uses sex as a weapon against you such as withholding it altogether, or making you jump through hoops to receive intimacy, I’m sorry you are in a relationship with a conniving and manipulative person.
Whenever I hear people are talking about me behind my back, I smile, because I love attention.
To all of the people irritated by being behind a student driver, I promise you that what you’re experiencing pales in comparison to what the passenger in that car is experiencing. So please just chill out. Sincerely, the mother of a student driver.
sometimes you just need a friend who will let us say the inside stuff out loud without judgement or advise so you can process how you’re feeling
You know what sucks? Feeling like you’re in a million iddy biddy pieces all day every day, but you’re so used to throwing on a happy strong face to keep everyone else together that you struggle to process your own feelings.. so instead those feelings rise to the surface in…
Oh, if I’m so out-of-date and a relic, then how do you explain that I’m at a Death Cab concert with a Tears For Fears t-shirt on????
Post a selfie from your gallery and turn it black and white
just filled my car with gas before the tank was empty everybody clap
I showed you my artisanal flatbread please respond
If it wasn’t for the fact I wasn’t a good enough hitter or fielder I probably could have been a professional baseball player.
The thing about the bagpipes is you need to get up early and practice softly before the rest of the family wakes up.
Nobody tells you what a game changer prescription sunglasses are because it's mostly a quiet celebration in your vehicle, driving away from the optometrist.
She doesn’t wanna be called a snake—but a serpent, cause she’s clasSsy. She’s also had enough w all the negative metaphors. She’s gentle & sSsensSsitive.
Я одеваюсь так будто бы мне насрать на свое лицо
I don't dress for women. I don't dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.