Hoss @grHoss
hypercarnivore 🐊 https://t.co/LDb6CcFAZH Top of the food pyramid Joined April 2012-
Tweets79K
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Followers4K
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Following2K
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Likes40K
Hoss retweeted
If I drop something on the floor, I consider it gone forever . . . getting old is bullshit.
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Hoss retweeted
I'm at the midpoint of a salary range for a job I'm overqualified for, so I got that going for me
Hoss retweeted
Happiness is like a wet bar of soap that we keep losing hold of.
Hoss retweeted
Earthworm sees a caterpillar and mutters: “Check out this rich brat with its fur coat and everything.”
Hoss retweeted
I’ve always been one to retweet people who use the word motherfucker.
Hoss retweeted
It's cute how you think I'm Class, when I think I'm trash.
Hoss retweeted
At work, when you don't know what to do, just walk fast and look worried.
Hoss retweeted
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can't make coffee.
Hoss retweeted
We all deserve someone who at the end of day says, "I missed you so much today"
Hoss retweeted
I’m guessing there would be a lot of whiners if we went back to the days of the ‘wild wild west’ where people robbed, pillaged, raped, and murdered Lawless societies after all are truly free Right?
Hoss retweeted
And we're off! To a scratch that i overslept
Hoss retweeted
The quiet fuckers do not like me, I totally fucking get that, we cool
Hoss retweeted
Mom that’s no yeti. It’s Sam from down the street.
Hoss retweeted
Only focused on building and keeping positive momentum from here on out. I got a little and I want more. Let's GO!
Hoss retweeted
My current body type? Sure I work out, but you can also tell I won't turn down that cookie
Hoss retweeted
Nancy Drew and the mystery of who left a piece of Kraft American cheese on my car's windshield?
Hoss retweeted
Plot twist: My root beer float brings men to my yard
Hoss retweeted
Being perfect all the time is hard work. Sometimes, you need to unleash your inner asshole to balance things.
Hoss retweeted
Flex on the washing machine by wearing mismatched socks to work.
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Insert a witty name h.. @Thehotstoner
5K Followers 3K Following Just like weed, I make everything better. Gorgeous, Baby Girl, Good girl, Goddess 💍 Stay out of my DM's with your pee pees 1117
Liz That Girl CA @LizThatGirlCA
3K Followers 5K Following Brave magical realist and ER nurse. Rollin' with it, baby! As long as we're able to laugh, there's hope...
Pimples are bad pfft, wait until you get them on your wrinkles.
@grHoss Who needs beachfront property when you can have a fiery view? Hell's got the ultimate real estate deal: eternal flames and a landscape that's always lit. 🔥🏝️
That resonates!!!
I don’t own any properties on earth but I was promised a lot of special places in hell.
@grHoss careful what you wish for - tomorrow is promised to no one 🤍
Is the glass half empty or is it…who the hell spit in my drink??
Ok! Ok! I’m leaving! Your lightbulbs were all starting to burn out anyway
Doctor: How’d you get these scars all over your legs? Me: Dorito crumbs in my bed
How come medications never say consume with alcohol. I know some of mine work a lot better that way.
When pronounced, "debt" and "death" sound pretty similar.
@grHoss @Marcmywords2 You gotta do what you gotta do.
It's gotten to the point where my most treasured memories are the ones I can't remember.
I transfer a lot of manufactured enthusiasm, but I'm a salesman
I smoke crack for a living, I'm a part time youtuber.
@enlightened1979 @grHoss I was the one, once. Then, they left-it was very Cheryl Crowish. Be careful.. we ones gotta stick together ❤️
@DatWalshGurl @grHoss The Rapture ❤️ LOL silly you
😂 dress appropriately please.
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