-
Tweets298K
-
Followers26K
-
Following9K
-
Likes324K
Feeling loved, respected, and appreciated without having to beg or plead for it is top tier. If I don't get what I give, I stop talking and start feeling like a bother rather than a person of value.
They worried about global warming then they clearly haven't experienced the heat between a women's thighs.
Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.
Listen, I didn’t expect to know me either
Make his credit card tell him what you can’t.
mom said it's my turn with the internal suffering
Two Bluesky codes and $10 will get you a venti at Starbucks
an orgasm is an energetic spark that once ignited and kept alive intensely enough for as long as needed explodes into the most beautiful lightness of being my wife: i wouldn’t know
Commas in numbers are more important than commas in sentences. There, I said it.
I’m an accountant; I work with numbers not words. I EAT LETTERS FOR BREAKFAST! *pours a bowl of Alpha-Bits cereal*
The best thing about being an accountant is getting jiggy with the numbers...
I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. Could you repeat everything you said to me in the last three years?
You can’t hurt me you’re not how I feel
Awkward silences? No problem. Just start beatboxing. Does it make things any less awkward? Absolutely not. But it eliminates the silence. Now it's just awkward beatboxing. You're welcome.
The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake
If you're looking for a bad boy, I once didn't put my shopping cart back in its designed area.
Cashiers are always checking me out
Took a two hour nap and now I don't know which year it is or which state I'm in
sorry if i’m awkward i’m trying to straddle the line between hot crazy and restraining order crazy
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K FollowingForward March @RunOldMan
35K Followers 16K Following Disabled Army Veteran, Bills Mafia, Mental Health Matters, Laughter is the best medicine 🇺🇸🇵🇷 Boricua https://t.co/LpPIFl6lcu…tazz @noneofyours99
85K Followers 46K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
19K Followers 7K Following Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsndGranite Man 🏴�.. @GraniteDhuine
18K Followers 5K Following The unacceptable face of Scottish Twitter. Whisky drinker, kilt wearer, sweary AF.Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrctnice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonzPieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbKmeghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link belowBoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVThe B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 14K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Infernoρꪮꪮ𝓳ꪖ 🌸 @YourSomeone11
49K Followers 3K Following I lost my identity, I found myself. 📸 Mine https://t.co/djB5pKALgpDan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVphVillage Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...Darlene @Darlene92141542
1K Followers 6K Following was born in Canada🇨🇦but live in New York City 🏙.I’m a clinical psychologist 👩⚕️also work in drug rehabilitation center☺️. A mother of one ☝️,a widow 🥲…Angelica @olracadnaj
4 Followers 44 Following No porn , I like make new friends, travel, golfing, yoga, watching moviesElon reeve musk @EMusk99829
0 Followers 63 FollowingAlly 🖤 @mrsmodify
78 Followers 447 Following Mama of 2; Director of Special Education; Starting over peacefullySethe @Sethe178441
0 Followers 48 FollowingDoshier Manager Advis.. @DoshierNat39427
252 Followers 396 Following A Trip Advisor and psychedelic therapist. We have the best psychedelic products like LSD, DMT, ketamine, (Shrooms🍄), microdoses, Ecstasy pills, Peyote, MDMA...seaturtle community @SeaturtleC68875
199 Followers 2K Following Welcome to @SeaturtleC68875 We share daily #seaturtle community Contents Follow us if you really love seaturtles 👇 Visit Our Store👇ابوجحلل @abuhams18888
975 Followers 4K Following مواطن بسيط متقاعد نشيط من عشاق العميد ومن مدمني حب الوطنcarl @dm1000121
36 Followers 520 Followingblessing Betty @blissingbetty
3 Followers 227 FollowingAkok Mamer Akok @AkokMamer71467
9 Followers 175 FollowingHermanus Magal @HermanusMa97713
0 Followers 7 FollowingSasha @Sasha0527943077
24 Followers 2K FollowingOneGoodCult @OneGoodCult
0 Followers 34 Following Join me. No narcissistic leader. No weird sex stuff.Turn America Solid Bl.. @JoeRobinEnjoyer
54K Followers 59K Following #VoteBlueNoMatterWho #TurnTexasBlue #BidenHarris #AutismSuperpower #FBR he/him Ultra Anti MAGA Alt: @SolidBlueAltThaslosha @thaslosha33277
24 Followers 2K FollowingSport Babes @sportbabesfemi
1K Followers 4K Following Pictures and videos of the hottest sports babesMaria James E. @MariaJames879
467 Followers 4K FollowingElon Musk @EMusk58982
138 Followers 2K Following CEO, and Chief Designer of SpaceX and product architect of Tesla, Inc. Founder of The Boring Company Co-founder of Neuralink, OpenAILopez Mitiz @Mitiz_Lopez
308 Followers 545 Following Art is not what you see, but what you make others see ..... Artworker 🎨 🖼MattydMT @MATTYDMT1
2K Followers 4K Following Seeker of the truth. Golfer, Father, Husband , Papa. I love America! Building back after 2 lifetime bans.Elizabeth Mark @elizabeth_53350
2 Followers 142 Following 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐒 𝐌𝐘 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐂𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓⚠️‼️ *💶 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐂𝐑𝐘𝐏𝐓𝐎/𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐗 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑💎 *📊𝟔-𝟕 𝐅𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑💸… moreMaria Berlinska @Berlinska00
184 Followers 525 Following 🇺🇦Proud Ukrainian Citizen Volunteering & Defending my motherland offensively....slava Ukraine 🇺🇦🇺🇦Crypto Guitar Club @MMCGClub
770 Followers 6K Following This is the most amazing collection of Crypto Guitars. Each of them is absolutely unique - these are incredibly cool toys.violinistmore72 @violinistmore72
540 Followers 2K Following Music is life. That’s why our hearts have beats🥁Edrisa @Edrisa1796650
46 Followers 607 Following I'm orphans am from The Gambia west Africa My Name is Edrisa i I'm believe may god bless all of my family and my friends too please god help me your blessing ❤Lucy us @Lucy121_
619 Followers 4K Following Fun loving girl 💃 fashion design enthusiast👗 & a girl with ambition♕♥️♥️♥️Zehra uyggd @juajeop511
55 Followers 809 FollowingGwen @Gwen1138594372
3 Followers 99 FollowingSoro Peter @SoroAgala211
753 Followers 8K Followingmercedes blanche @ElvisPr13469460
169 Followers 654 FollowingMM Surplus and More @MMSurplusMore
1K Followers 6K Following Wholesale/Liquidation Sales, Surplus/Damaged Stock, Garage/Yard Sales, Flea Markets, Auctions, Storage Units, Move Outs. -- REDS -- BENGALS -- UC -- Fan --Elon—musk @EMusk7114
39 Followers 494 FollowingValen mirrela @VMirrela66587
1 Followers 726 Following I’m single and I’m looking for serious man who’s honest and trustworthyDawda Kujabi @kujabidawda622
140 Followers 1K Following May Allah SWT make it easy for all the Muslims ☪️Mercedes blanches @Mercedesbl8881
6 Followers 314 Following • – • I N T R O D U C T I O N • – • I feel like I should be this here for all the new cool people I’m starting to find! Hi 👋🏻 I’m mercedes {she/her} (or mercTony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K FollowingForward March @RunOldMan
35K Followers 16K Following Disabled Army Veteran, Bills Mafia, Mental Health Matters, Laughter is the best medicine 🇺🇸🇵🇷 Boricua https://t.co/LpPIFl6lcu…tazz @noneofyours99
85K Followers 46K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
19K Followers 7K Following Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsndGranite Man 🏴�.. @GraniteDhuine
18K Followers 5K Following The unacceptable face of Scottish Twitter. Whisky drinker, kilt wearer, sweary AF.Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrctnice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonzPieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbKmeghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link belowBoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVThe B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 14K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Infernoρꪮꪮ𝓳ꪖ 🌸 @YourSomeone11
49K Followers 3K Following I lost my identity, I found myself. 📸 Mine https://t.co/djB5pKALgpDan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVphVillage Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...Jen @redheadjen69
2K Followers 396 Following Nothing wrong with the way she moves 🌹🌸🌺 Ask me anything 🍑🍑 Love showing off my body 🍆 Open and adventurous🍑 Custom videos and photos ❤️❤️❤️Leila Moon - Atlanta,.. @LeilaMoon12
11K Followers 731 Following 🇵🇸FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸 18+ONLY GILF/SHE/HER,YOUR 🇹🇷🇩🇪PART-TIME Girlfriend, ᑕᑌᖇᐯY GOᗪᗪESS, ᑭᒪEᗩSᑌᖇE ᕼᑌᑎTEᖇ, ᗰᑌSIᑕ ᖴESTIᐯᗩᒪ ᑕᕼᗩSEᖇ & YOUR NEXT ✈️ me to youStefaniethelawyer �.. @_naughtylawyer_
172K Followers 583 Following Retired litigator, current e-thot. Yes, I have one 💙🤍 👇🏼Julia Bree ✨Touring @TheJuliaBree
2K Followers 212 Following 📍Tulsa | 27 | OKC based | Practitioner of the oldest profession | Content creator | 18+ onlyevelyn guimaraes @lolitabykubrick
464 Followers 662 Following she likes to pretend she is rock 'n roll.Henry Winkler @hwinkler4real
1.1M Followers 987 Following "Being Henry The Fonz and Beyond"...My Autobiography …Is Out!Linda Colmont @lindac1538522
103 Followers 596 Following I'm just a girl, trying to make it through this crazy world.Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin
10K Followers 6K FollowingLilTanLines @LilTanLines
1K Followers 3K Following Fly... Effortlessly!!! Warning: Does not play well with others.🦋 Butterfly 🦋 @chipicao6
703 Followers 5K Following Bez względu na to, jak źle jest w danym momencie, to tylko moment ~ Kevin Alan MilneSatan Claus @sushiwantspussy
22 Followers 40 FollowingBilly Blumpkin @frankrizzo3000
474 Followers 2K Following .. psychonaut. please follow my backup account @doctordetroit7Stardust @4stardust8
7K Followers 6K Following “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” - Edgar Allan PoeMental MAN-Wolf 🐺 .. @Michael03446047
3K Followers 3K Following Way out in left field. Draw-er of pictures. Ex-athlete. Will talk your ear off about glory days and old school NBA. Religion is harmful.Nom De Plume @DeonMumple
1K Followers 1K Following Writer, Poet. Former Dreamer. I may or may not be joking. If you don't want an answer, why ask a question?RachelRide @RachelRide2023
14K Followers 3K Following Very naughty married posh lady working as a QS. Love watching football drinking beer & whiskey, sucking cock & meeting strangers for NSA sex dates. DMs open!TrapKrayonz @KrayonBitch
152 Followers 127 Following How much dip would a dipshit shit if a dipshit could shit dip? skwibble skwibble 🖍️🖍️™ @ts_mckinney
185 Followers 1K Following kelly ♡ || strength is what we gain from the madness we survive. 📖Miss Holly @hollyrixonx
3K Followers 3K Following live everyday like it’s your last 🌎 The ocean is where I’m happiestknock it off... @JanetEliassen
90 Followers 56 Following Taking the inferiority complex to a whole new level.°.•♡🌸Ashley B.. @BlueSnowOwl
207 Followers 404 Following ♡Anthony's Wife 🌸🪽💍 Stay at home mom🌸🩷♡ Self-taught Artist🩷 Christian💒🩷♡°.○ Writer🩷♡ DV survivor🩷♡°.•○Teewee @Chloestylo
13K Followers 3K Following You've all been given top clearance to read my tweets. 🇺🇸 .. Patriot .. ❤🩵🦋KatarinaKriz�.. @KatarinaKriz
9K Followers 9K Following I will always be a little black boo boo kitty playing in the water. 🇺🇸WTF? #WomensRightsAreHumanRights FU~SCOTUS~BITE ME~CRIMINALS🔸Sol🔸 @xfleshandbonesx
9K Followers 839 Following I enjoy long romantic walks around my yard with my iPhone. All photos are mine. IG: https://t.co/114ugahgO2Brīan Whɛlmîngly�.. @OhWhelm
6K Followers 5K Following follow a guy like this i bet you get a free bowl of soup • hashtag host @RehashTags➕@AhHaTags • ally🌈 • weltschmerz enthusiastHenpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal
136K Followers 2K Following Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM. https://t.co/jv3VQ5CW4OBubbleButt-Mom @bubblebutt_mom_
2K Followers 4K Following Stay at home wife who gets bored and likes to play. https://t.co/QggxPNMdM4Ivory Delight @IvoryDelight
109 Followers 90 Following find me in the depths of infinity, where dreams collide, stars dance and we are one𝔏𝔲𝔠𝔯𝔢�.. @LovesSubliminal
1K Followers 589 Following I hear the roar of a big machine. Photographer. Fragrance connoisseur. Chocoholic.Cecil Halford @Mimosa48
825 Followers 2K Following Writer but not an author. Retired English teacher. World non-traveler.🕸️💜🖤Angel .. @TinyTattedMama3
3K Followers 2K Following Single mom of 3•(DONT WANT TO GET TO KNOW U)•Loner•EverydayIsHalloween•FunsizedFirecracker •Random•Fun•Art•Sunshine•Dance•God•Chinesefood•Redbull $MamaBoo333found in shadows @FoundinShadows
2K Followers 2K FollowingBᵢₜₛ & ᵢₙ�.. @AuthorRKK_
2K Followers 768 Following Erotic Romance Author Forever dipped in ink No DMs main acct: @AuthorRKK Amazon: https://t.co/zSyWNLNwf7hilary cockshaw @hilaryjane76
1K Followers 3K Following nurse, vegan, dog owner, runner, volunteer, feminist, reader, writer, baker, giggler, camper, traveller, charitable giver, history buff, at the beach!Melissa 🐝 @bucsnbrews
1K Followers 2K Following Baseball feeds my soul. Brewers & Pirates have my ❤ My first love was Crash Davis. ⚾️ MKE PIT ⚾️🐝 🌊 Road Trip Taker Rowdy Tellez fan #GirlsWhoScoreStinkyRude @StinkyRude
228 Followers 735 Following@a_simpl_man @TheMysteryMan46 This still cracks me up, K🖤
Feeling loved, respected, and appreciated without having to beg or plead for it is top tier. If I don't get what I give, I stop talking and start feeling like a bother rather than a person of value.
They worried about global warming then they clearly haven't experienced the heat between a women's thighs.
@a_simpl_man most welcome, hope you enjoyed your day.
@youjustroll @a_simpl_man Happy Birthday !!🎈🎂🎁
@youjustroll @a_simpl_man Happiest of birthdays 🎂🎈🥰 I Hope your family spoils you good.
please join me in wishing @a_simpl_man a happy birthday.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know I will face it with grit and grace.
Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.
Make his credit card tell him what you can’t.
There wasn’t any room in the fridge so I had to eat the whole cake.
It’s officially the 21st night of September, so don’t forget to leave out milk and cookies for Earth, Wind & Fire.