Kellalena @topaz_kell
Make me laugh & I’ll love you forever twitter.com/search?q=from%… Joined February 2014-
Tweets353K
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Followers83K
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Following9K
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Likes388K
Kellalena retweeted
If I were running the country right now, I’d probably just throw the remote at the wall.
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Kellalena retweeted
That’s the last time I perform an exorcism on a Friday
Kellalena retweeted
Plan carefully. Execute accordingly.
Kellalena retweeted
I told two different friend groups today that I’m really sick and i feel like hell. Not one person said feel better! So at least i know where I stand with literally everyone
Kellalena retweeted
Me in my 20's: "so nice to meet you" Me in my 40's: "move along, nothing to see here"
Kellalena retweeted
My therapist is not familiar with the band Oasis and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Kellalena retweeted
Hear me out, underwear with a beer pocket...
Kellalena retweeted
God: no one will ever have to clean if we make space a vacuum Angel: lol what
Kellalena retweeted
Autocorrect changed opinion to opossum and now it's backing into a corner and hissing and haven't seen something that accurate in a while.
Kellalena retweeted
You don't scare me, you're not a group of middle schoolers I have to walk past
Kellalena retweeted
If you’ve ever enjoyed sex while you’re dead inside, wait till you’re dead on the outside too
Kellalena retweeted
You know you're getting old when you find yourself genuinely thrilled about your favorite dish sponge coming in a few new colors.
Kellalena retweeted
The biggest lie 90s dudes told was that there was something in that wallet that made it worth chaining up
Kellalena retweeted
A dry wedding is just like a regular wedding but with no reason to be there
Sometimes you gotta fill the bathtub with rice and sit in it to fix yourself.
Kellalena retweeted
funny men with filthy minds are my fucking kryptonite
Kellalena retweeted
who you are when your vibrator loses charge is the real you
Kellalena retweeted
the sexual tension between your grip around my throat
Kellalena retweeted
Honesty is a very misused word nowadays.
Kellalena retweeted
if i’m in your twitter circle, welcome to rock bottom
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If I were running the country right now, I’d probably just throw the remote at the wall.
That’s the last time I perform an exorcism on a Friday
You're the fucking light, at the end of this tunnel....
I told two different friend groups today that I’m really sick and i feel like hell. Not one person said feel better! So at least i know where I stand with literally everyone
Me in my 20's: "so nice to meet you" Me in my 40's: "move along, nothing to see here"
My therapist is not familiar with the band Oasis and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Hear me out, underwear with a beer pocket...
God: no one will ever have to clean if we make space a vacuum Angel: lol what
Autocorrect changed opinion to opossum and now it's backing into a corner and hissing and haven't seen something that accurate in a while.
You don't scare me, you're not a group of middle schoolers I have to walk past
If you’ve ever enjoyed sex while you’re dead inside, wait till you’re dead on the outside too
In your fucking eyes, is where, I long to be....
You know you're getting old when you find yourself genuinely thrilled about your favorite dish sponge coming in a few new colors.
The biggest lie 90s dudes told was that there was something in that wallet that made it worth chaining up
A dry wedding is just like a regular wedding but with no reason to be there
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