Mommeh Dearest @mommeh_dearest
There is no Mommy, only Zuul.✨Be excellent to each other✨Folllow me everywhere https://t.co/ItaeRTMeC2 Peep my tweets in the link below 👇🏻 twitter.com/search?q=from%… Joined December 2017-
Tweets38K
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Followers9K
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Following1K
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Likes62K
Ruin a toddler’s day today by giving them exactly what they’ve asked for
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Mommeh Dearest retweeted
me: I don’t like other people’s kids them: how old are yours? me: I don’t have any
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
Whenever I’m 2-3 hrs late for work, here comes my boss with his same old provocations
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
Nothing worse than leaving home without your small talk flash cards.
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
If any NFL teams are looking to draft the guy who holds the football with one finger so the other guy can kick it, I’m available.
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
proof that celebrities are murdering muppets in the name of fashion: thread
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
My 7yo said she hurt herself, and when my 9yo asked her to describe the pain, she just yelled, "AAAAAAAHHHHH" 😭💀
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
I had my doctor on speaker so my wife can listen in as we were discussing my X-Ray results, and the doctor said it was “Definitely age related”. To show her love and support, my wife LOL’ed.
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
You don't scare me, you're not a group of middle schoolers I have to walk past
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
I’ve reached the browsing cushions instead of getting work done part of a Friday.
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
14: my stomach hurts me: what'd you eat at your friends yesterday? 14: pizza me: how much 14: just 8 pieces. Then 3 more later. me: can't imagine why your stomach hurts then 😫
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
Me: All the flowering trees are gorgeous! Nature is beautiful! *husband sneezing, blowing nose, eyes red and swollen half shut from allergies* Husband: Yeah. Beautiful.
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
Met someone the other day who said their favorite color was yellow. What a psycho
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
me: you know what I think? wife: not really. It's usually dumb AF.
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My kids are writing a mystery series called mom where did YOU put all the chargers?
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
Him, 8, touching my calloused big toe: “What is this, concrete?”
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
Me and who trojan horsing our way into this home goods
Mommeh Dearest retweeted
Why should any woman live in a state like Idaho? Even if you are anti-choice, if you get pregnant and your water breaks at 20 weeks, you'd have to be air lifted out of state to have the fetus removed or both of you will die. And not everyone can get air lifted out.
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfK
Lil Bit 🌈 @LizerReal
59K Followers 983 Following Wife of a guy. Mother to spawns. Sugar glider in my bra. Parenting cautionary tale. (she/her)
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
15K Followers 974 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom
14K Followers 942 Following wife || mom of three || perpetually late || relatively unsociable || my tweets ➡️ https://t.co/zTOnobXohj
Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness
16K Followers 2K Following Domesticated Husband Father of 2 Ransacking Raccoons.Featured on @netflixfamily @buzzfeed @thedad IG @Chhapiness Shows & Inquiries-https://t.co/F6Q2TKOV1M
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
That Mom Tho @mom_tho
47K Followers 3K Following contributor @scarymommy @romper [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6
McDad @mcdadstuff
9K Followers 2K Following I like dad jokes and I cannot lie. https://t.co/bbtLUiYKKg Find more of my tweets here ⬇️
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
Anastasiia @Anastasiia45692
2 Followers 33 Following
A pagan platonist pos.. @pearly_sinner
2K Followers 2K Following Go tell all your friends i love them too
ResilientSons @ResilientSons
357 Followers 873 Following Jeff Nelligan is the father of three military officer sons. His blog and book, "Four Lessons from My Three Sons", are at https://t.co/iDQlemzI8a
Pookharaj Khatri @pookharaj
14 Followers 199 Following
Cuddables.in @cuddablesin
41 Followers 132 Following Join us in embracing a nurturing journey where every cuddables is an expression of care and purity .#Cuddables #BabyCare #Vegan #ToxinFree #NaturalIngredients
Hilario chay Canché @HilarioCanche
447 Followers 4K Following
Lamar Andrews @LamarMandrews
108 Followers 205 Following Creating a better future for my child and sharing everything I learn along the way.
Riley Blake @RileyBlakeBooks
4K Followers 5K Following Follows Jesus. #Writes #fiction. An above-average thumb-twiddler. Average broom-dancer. Motivated word-slinger. Pup-Mom. No @@ threads or DMs, please.
Literacy Blooms @LiteracyBlooms_
623 Followers 295 Following Advance timeless learning and achievement in your child through our children's books & dynamic resources available for family engagement.
Dawda Kujabi @kujabidawda622
141 Followers 1K Following May Allah SWT make it easy for all the Muslims ☪️
Naïve American @nahdude83
401 Followers 680 Following I'm a middle aged man restarting life. I also need help. See my GoFundMe or I can make something for you through my Etsy shoppe below 👇🏽 DM for custom art!
Alison the Read @alisontheread
3K Followers 1K Following I have a headache. Probably researching something depressing. Quaker. she/her. https://t.co/OuK118DSun
pbeehive @PBeesting
67 Followers 404 Following
ella (tiktok: @blonde.. @blondehotcoffee
2K Followers 2K Following i only tweet when i’m high or manic
Poppy Whisker @WhiskerBooks
79 Followers 442 Following Meet Poppy Whisker and Marina Authors of heartwarming tools for an organized life. Simplifying your days with practical planners and journals on Amazon
lemonheadfu @lemonheadfu
23 Followers 23 Following
Jonathan Overton @urduecksalesguy
105K Followers 41K Following Commissioner of The Legendary Football Pool * x World Famous Car Salesman ⚡️https://t.co/paDcnRty8S⚡️ @MediSpa_LaBella #Just_Du_eck #PickLegendary
Megg @meggs1211
69 Followers 917 Following
Khan Khan6060 @KKhan6060753
133 Followers 2K Following
sami @kelimarley66
60 Followers 566 Following My name is Sami, I'm 28,5.1higth, thank you so much,🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸💲
ShANk @BigShankkz
6K Followers 3K Following Scorpio lives here.Big flirt. Not for everyone and I’m good with that 😏 #goleafsgo #supportmentalhealth #bpd
Doc Johnny Fever🎙 @NikiMarinis
6K Followers 2K Following Weird Girl🔮Co-host of @LyricalCrimes podcast 🎤 Writer of dating & relationship comedy gold 💋📝 “You’re a Gen-X wet dream” - @MickeyBlowtorch
كاش أملج👅 @smrllli
100 Followers 529 Following
Fern Renee @Greyhaime
2K Followers 1K Following Poet,artist,liminal walker,Aes Sedai,Pirate. https://t.co/HloQjuYX25 my words found☝ https://t.co/rpUsoDnOYH
Ryan o @Ryano328880
27 Followers 343 Following
NaughtyPoppins @NaughtyPoppins
539 Followers 638 Following I think we’ve had quite enough of this nonsense.
KERRYCASSIDY @KERRYCASSI6430
938 Followers 5K Following FOUNDER/CEO PROJECT CAMELOT investigative journalist documentary filmmaker producer whistleblowers from above top secret and over 1500
Christian Davis. @boy91420
118 Followers 292 Following SURGEON DOCTOR. FATHER. WIDOWED. CHRISTIAN. POLYGLOT. #RepostWhatever.
Ally 🖤 @mrsmodify
80 Followers 447 Following Mama of 2; Director of Special Education; Starting over peacefully
Tua 😝 @tuperfectangel
2K Followers 5K Following #justiceforaaroncarter #mjvictims perfect angel Look into my eyes; you're killing me All I wanted was you jova trendy jex jarly ally zende runa she/her
alaaden aldwaimeh🔻.. @Alaaden_aldwaim
1K Followers 5K Following The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, enjoy it.
mya A @a49950558
353 Followers 2K Following
janericciardi @janericciardi
24 Followers 233 Following
Anthony @Anthony077819
13 Followers 98 Following
Patty-Anne Cahill @anne_patty39377
1 Followers 50 Following
Uncle Chan @chanforboston
453 Followers 2K Following Links Lizard, Neophyte Writer. The favorite Uncle. Lover of old Barns. Feet in the city. Mind in the Country. Pink Floyd fanatic.
southofhevn @southofhevn
324 Followers 708 Following
Eric Caro @amERICanDream21
401 Followers 2K Following The Latin Lover of Asia!!!! Surgical Tech Life. Snowboarding Life.
shark queen (@mbfias) @se_ransdell
8K Followers 3K Following CCO Studio Metropolis Inc https://t.co/gz0MT6m62x 🦈 writer/voice work Creator- My Boyfriend is a Shark. 🇨🇦🏳️🌈. https://t.co/Q0jMmBzUqS
123okIjustpoppedabean @123okIjustpopp1
1 Followers 73 Following
Kesha Hanry @HanryKesha
1K Followers 5K Following
Mrtsr198081 @mrtsr1980832611
176 Followers 2K Following
🌜𝓥𝓪𝓶𝓹�.. @vampireskwrl
1K Followers 533 Following she/her. yapologist. hi/hey dms pay a fee. no pet names/nicknames/honorifics all dms subject to posting. my dms aren't your safe space 🫶🏻 minors DNI
reenafriedmanwatts @reenareena
5K Followers 5K Following Host of The Better Call Daddy Show, I help entrepreneurs get seen! Ex-Springer Producer, wife of #smartgrid enthusiast #bettercalldaddy #daddysgirl
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfK
Lil Bit 🌈 @LizerReal
59K Followers 983 Following Wife of a guy. Mother to spawns. Sugar glider in my bra. Parenting cautionary tale. (she/her)
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
15K Followers 974 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom
14K Followers 942 Following wife || mom of three || perpetually late || relatively unsociable || my tweets ➡️ https://t.co/zTOnobXohj
Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness
16K Followers 2K Following Domesticated Husband Father of 2 Ransacking Raccoons.Featured on @netflixfamily @buzzfeed @thedad IG @Chhapiness Shows & Inquiries-https://t.co/F6Q2TKOV1M
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
That Mom Tho @mom_tho
47K Followers 3K Following contributor @scarymommy @romper [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6
McDad @mcdadstuff
9K Followers 2K Following I like dad jokes and I cannot lie. https://t.co/bbtLUiYKKg Find more of my tweets here ⬇️
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
Alison the Read @alisontheread
3K Followers 1K Following I have a headache. Probably researching something depressing. Quaker. she/her. https://t.co/OuK118DSun
ella (tiktok: @blonde.. @blondehotcoffee
2K Followers 2K Following i only tweet when i’m high or manic
Alyssa 🌻 @alyssaleann
2K Followers 138 Following Interior Designer. Chronic nuance-finder. Amateur renaissance woman. Midwestern transplant. I’m more fun on Insta
elsi dawson @ElsiDawson
3K Followers 430 Following The Worst Sex Worker Ever, now working in burnaby 778-720-2315 [email protected]
Fern Renee @Greyhaime
2K Followers 1K Following Poet,artist,liminal walker,Aes Sedai,Pirate. https://t.co/HloQjuYX25 my words found☝ https://t.co/rpUsoDnOYH
Donnie Wahlberg @DonnieWahlberg
1.5M Followers 13K Following Donnie Wahlberg - Human Being / Father / Husband / Bostonian / Actor / Producer / Director / Singer / Global Defender of #BHLove #loveeternal
southofhevn @southofhevn
324 Followers 708 Following
🌜𝓥𝓪𝓶𝓹�.. @vampireskwrl
1K Followers 533 Following she/her. yapologist. hi/hey dms pay a fee. no pet names/nicknames/honorifics all dms subject to posting. my dms aren't your safe space 🫶🏻 minors DNI
J 🌹 @Today_June_says
4K Followers 4K Following Avi is me or Aeon Flux. spoken for, 🚫maga, gen x, health, wellness, fitness. Live and let live Liberal. Please don’t retweet my selfies
LOST @TheLOSTFans
37K Followers 3K Following Fan account. A place we all made together to find one another.
Vanny @thatwitchvanny
1K Followers 1K Following Twitter is just an AIM chat on steroids. If you put me on a list I will hex you. If I blocked you, you were either really annoying or a perv...
Laura S 🐀✉️ @BrknPoet
2K Followers 1K Following Canada Laura. Level-headed, light hearted. Artist & wrangler of Corwin. Enneagram Memes, Carbs, & Real Mail are my love languages. Enneagram 9. She/Her/Mrs🇨🇦
Fragmentary Dumpster .. @whoremoanalkiwi
334 Followers 398 Following Queso enthusiast. Do not resuscitate. NFA ✨🖤🔮🕯🪦⚰️🥀 (I’m a litter of baby raccoons in a meat suit)
BIG BAT LOVING BITCH @starfirefly1001
219 Followers 271 Following sugar✨️spice✨️and everything nice✨️ This is where I come to be equally horny, sad, and nerdy🤷🏽♀️
Duchess Anna of Banan.. @duchess_banana
24K Followers 5K Following Food, sports, and filth. Distributing the finest word vomit since 2019. @VancityReynolds liked one of my tweets once.
Duchess Sexpert @DuchessSexpert
9K Followers 69 Following Ringmistress of the Shitshow 🎪Cara and Scarlett’s Mom 🦮Professional Self-hater 🥴 Unhinged, but make it sexy 🔥 @DollyParton Stan 👸🏼Not a real Duchess 😏
Stephanie/𝔈𝔰�.. @SFGeekGirl
752 Followers 1K Following SATx Born ✡️ Chingona | SF Seasoned | Scottsdale Based | Aspiring Librarian | Almost Terminally Online | Elder Xennial 🇵🇸 🪬❤️🔥 #BookDragon 🐉 📚
Velvet Heaven @Velvet_Crushed
3K Followers 3K Following I've got a date at midnight with Nosferatu 🖤💚 |*Writings are my own*|Disgraced Cosmonaut| Pan 🏳️🌈
reenafriedmanwatts @reenareena
5K Followers 5K Following Host of The Better Call Daddy Show, I help entrepreneurs get seen! Ex-Springer Producer, wife of #smartgrid enthusiast #bettercalldaddy #daddysgirl
Shreya @Shreya_teee
3K Followers 3K Following Be your own sunshine.. Globetrotter || Reader || Nature lover || 🏳️🌈🌈
Trad Hag Jess @BogHagJess
3K Followers 1K Following Little Edie alt ego account. Probably has cats. Hundreds of them. #IIH (dx 2020).
boob-oo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ @StrangerTings5
5K Followers 4K Following Frequently frolicking frantically. Just a small town rabbit, livin' in a sarcastic world.
Jenji @Jenjiy0
2K Followers 1K Following Subpar mage on hiatus, amateur orchidist, animal lover (catsarebis), INFJ, ♒️, Ravenclaw🐦⬛DMs CLOSED. Not looking for anything other than my sanity.
Fetch @JennFetch
2K Followers 3K Following #BlackLivesMatter #Feminist #BiPride 🩷💜💙🏳️⚧️#TransRightsAreHumanRights She/Her Star Wars was my 1st love 💫 Lord of the Rings addict INFP
erika @yeeeerika
4K Followers 3K Following sr art director. experimental artist. analog synthesizers are cool!! chaotic good. she/her.
juststopit @kperm
254 Followers 737 Following Created accounts on a couple of Twitter substitutes and promptly never went back.
katie von davis @withjetpacks
2K Followers 5K Following • 35 • she/they • catlady • pfp by @gytianb • 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Mo @mo_luchessi
744 Followers 1K Following I work in a pharmacy. I also write books and do art stuff. I like naptime and pizza.
LizzyMills69 👓Many.. @_Lizzy_Mills_69
4K Followers 5K Following Hey Sweeties You Found Me!The BBW You Need I'm 43 In My Slutty MILF Content Creator Era 👓 I Have A Pleasing Kink No Meets 🚫 No Minors🔞 The Link You Want ⬇️
yellie @ellieskunkz
49 Followers 428 Following She/her, dog mom, massive weeb, i love breaking amens. I'm way older than I look. NE Portland por vida.
ShadesofShae @shaesjh
1K Followers 1K Following By night I'm a writer, dreamer, and artist. By day I torture old folks by setting their eyes on fire, and then taking their money. #livingthelife
Dead Pan Nick @Contwixt
23K Followers 14K Following dad. spouse. rustic. humorist. tweetsman. time-lapse thinker. gambler. vibes. vapes. cats. psychics. metaphysics. road trips.
Topher @toe_toph_tofu
433 Followers 495 Following Do my fellow imaginary creatures also struggle with crippling self-doubt? https://t.co/6xusy9Z5h4
Momma D 🇨🇦 @MommaD_x4
3K Followers 934 Following Married, SAHM of 4, 💙💙💙🩷. Diapering aficionado, Facilitator of snacks, Human Kleenex, Cuddler extraordinaire, & Occasionally funny. I need a nap. She/Her
Dadding Around @DaddingAround
14K Followers 5K Following Just an ordinary dad of two, husband of one, pointing out the funny (and ridiculous) side of parenting. Winner of zero awards. Moderately funny 65% of the time.
Lost Life @LostDharmaFan
5K Followers 5K Following Tweeting everything #LOST Love to chat anything LOST related
Hollie Harris @allholls
501 Followers 173 Following Writer. Mom. Storyteller. #GenXer. And apparently the person in charge of what's for dinner until the end of time.
Ninja Dad @ninjadadofone
1K Followers 581 Following Dad. Not On The Market. Bourbon Drinker. Guitar Player. Professional Procrastinator.
natalayhehoo @highprobably1
38K Followers 3K Following This is not the profile you’re looking for. Gemini and Vol for life. Taken not stirred.
reb @rebmasel
28K Followers 268 Following J.D./Attorney/@rebmasel on TikTok/“the chick who reads court transcripts?”/host of @rebuttalpod❤️🔥 B/I: [email protected]
Newby Daddy @NewbyDaddy
78 Followers 83 Following By Newby Daddies for Newby Daddies. Memes, Tips and Tricks for fathers to empower and encourage men to step up and get involved.
Andi @smiles_and_nods
413 Followers 243 Following Andi 2.0 Lost everyone during my Twitter sabbatical. please follow again.
Y’all, my wife keeps telling me there’s nothing sexier than a man who cleans bathrooms & then vacuums. Is that true, or has she just been saying that to get me to clean bathrooms and vacuum for the past 36 years?
What’s your favourite (non-sexual lol) rainy day activity?
@meantomyself I don’t know when or how it happened.. But I like broccoli and Brussels products?
If you are an adult who doesn't like vegetables, have you tried all the vegetables???
And this is how I learned it wasn’t from Bane
@mommeh_dearest Cats: i am so unreasonable Toddlers: hold my sippy cup
it's another lovely spring day to REMIND YOU DELINQUENTS TO STOP "RESCUING" BABY ANIMALS. THEIR MOMS ARE MOST LIKELY NEARBY - SO MIND YOUR BUSINESS. FAWNS, DROP EM'. BIRDS, LEAVE EM'. RACCOONS, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. FOXES?! -SWIPER NO SWIPING. ARMADILLO?¿? ARMADILL-NO.
You think darkness is your ally I was born in it molded by it I didn't see the light of day until I was already a man Man, Bane was awesome AF
looks like someone ordered the brontosaurus ribs
@mommeh_dearest Oh, you thought the night mirrored Bane's pain, but no, it's Swift's whispers in the storm. We're all lost in tales we make, no matter who sings 'em. 🎶😂 #QuotesBlurLines #WhoSaidItAnyway?
Hey you think anyone has tried looking into what Taylor Swift’s lyrics mean?
If you’re pansexual, but monogamous. that makes you somebody’s personal pansexual
I don't need a nap, I need a casual coma at this point
“Why the hell are these guys so mad at my fetch toy?” -Dog at a tennis match
me: going to the bookstore just to look also me: not buying these books would be financially irresponsible
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