JodingersCat-astrophe @JMoneySlimer
If you think I post a lot of crap, you should see what I delete: Ghost account for @JodingersCat mobile.twitter.com/search?q=from%… Litter Box Joined May 2017-
Tweets10K
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Followers2K
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Following2K
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Likes9K
In my defense, she didn't make a smiley face on my pancakes.
Already mentally preparing to take my kid to two birthday parties on the same day this weekend
Oh, you don’t let your pets on the furniture? I’d probably let my cat borrow my car if he asked nicely
I’m a grownup, I can never do sit-ups ever again if I want.
I'm now leaving my "why do I continue to live here" era (every Nov to April)
Convertible cars require a top-down redesign.
It’s so cute how every night I put my kids to bed and sit down like I think I can relax now.
We all need at least one friend to whom general rules don’t apply.
“You’re made of stardust.” Haha yea, and cheeseburgers.
The difference between war and peace is the index finger.
me: dating is hard me on a date: wouldn’t the koolaid man be full of sheetrock since he busts through walls without a lid
My MIL says she loves dogs more than anyone but I have yet to hear her sing made-up songs about bumbum boppin and snoot boopin so imma call BS on her so called dog love
Post vasectomy I had to get my fertility tested and it may surprise you that you have to collect the sample yourself
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you might be the world's most irritating
When I sprayed my foot with tinactin my 6yo asked what it was for and I told him athletes foot then he said “but daddy you’re not an athlete” and I am so sad that he’ll never understand how sick the burn was that he delivered.
Drank a boatload of caffeine on an empty stomach, so naturally I'm somewhere between a raging bull and a chihuahua.
prosciutto aguilara
Mario Speedwagon @SilipigniMario
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21K Followers 992 Following Proprietor of the Picayune Sentinel newsletter. Mincing Rascal. Emeritus Chicago. Tribune columnist. Fiddler. Heterodox liberal. [email protected]FKA Molly @mistrustme1
96K Followers 14K Following Patron Saint of Sex-Positive Women - feminist @jennslowpez is my love. https://t.co/dTkdnBru8iIn my defense, she didn't make a smiley face on my pancakes.
Already mentally preparing to take my kid to two birthday parties on the same day this weekend
Oh, you don’t let your pets on the furniture? I’d probably let my cat borrow my car if he asked nicely
I'm now leaving my "why do I continue to live here" era (every Nov to April)
It’s so cute how every night I put my kids to bed and sit down like I think I can relax now.
We all need at least one friend to whom general rules don’t apply.
The difference between war and peace is the index finger.
@RiotGrlErin That little pitcher is his urine sample
me: dating is hard me on a date: wouldn’t the koolaid man be full of sheetrock since he busts through walls without a lid
My MIL says she loves dogs more than anyone but I have yet to hear her sing made-up songs about bumbum boppin and snoot boopin so imma call BS on her so called dog love
Post vasectomy I had to get my fertility tested and it may surprise you that you have to collect the sample yourself
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you might be the world's most irritating
When I sprayed my foot with tinactin my 6yo asked what it was for and I told him athletes foot then he said “but daddy you’re not an athlete” and I am so sad that he’ll never understand how sick the burn was that he delivered.
prosciutto aguilara
This newspaper would like to offer our sincerest apologies to Mr. McEldroon, his lovely wife Peggy, and their beautiful children, Michael and Sally. We recently visited them at their home, located at 18 Maplewood Lane, to express our regrets personally.