Your Best Imaginary Friend @MaliceVance
My weapons of choice are lotion, warm oil, and cameras Probably on a boat Joined December 2019-
Tweets7K
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Followers229
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Following151
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Likes7K
More discriminating the hair styles
I am starting a proof reading service for all the Russian porn bots out there.
Starting a new business as a professional wingman. I will treat your girlfriend and her friends like trash so they can confront me a kick me out of their lives
In the first Ghostbusters Bill Murray says quite and Dan Aykroyd says why you smell something.
I have never been to war, but I was at the grocery store last night, so I can imagine what it is like.
I will die happy if I never hear noel brown speak about @TrojanCondoms #stdwytk
Can someone make a "It's not Thanksgiving until someone is crying" t shirt please
Happy half price candy day
It's nights like this. I sit looking up at the evening spender and think of that time I watched a squirrel steal a donut for a blind homeless man.
Kitty at my foot and I want to touch it. Kitty at my foot and I want to touch it. Kitty at my foot and I want to touch it.....want to touch it. Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty touch it Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty Kitty touch
I find that I am less impressed by elaborate lingerie in my old age. All i am thinking is damn now I need to crack a safe to get a piece.
Why am I the most at peace when the storm rages the hardest
Prolonged eye contact during oral....
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New strap on video with @bighoneybunsof on our fan pages! 😻🔥
Instagram vs. Twitter: Which one gets your double-tap?
would you accept my nudes if we're just friends? 😈