Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers twitter.com/search?f=tweet… Massachusetts Joined July 2017-
Tweets22K
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Followers27K
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Following9K
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Likes99K
Not Today Eric retweeted
*goes to therapy, but just for tweet material*
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Not Today Eric retweeted
I have a feeling tomorrow me isn’t gonna be very happy with midnight in the kitchen me.
How many bags of M&M’s is it ok to eat in one night. Is it eight, I’m pretty sure it’s eight.
Imagine falling in love and then finding out they open the microwave before it finishes.
Not Today Eric retweeted
Feels like it would have been the perfect Friday night to go to Blockbuster
Twitter day 1: I don’t get how people get addicted to this place. Twitter day 1,825: uh oh.
Text from Mom: I left you a voicemail. Me:
Not Today Eric retweeted
If I get drafted by the NFL I won't forget about you guys!
If you’re over 40 and think people your age look old I have some devastating news for you.
Not Today Eric retweeted
An adult is a person that has ibuprofen for breakfast.
This picture makes me happy.
Not Today Eric retweeted
People were more polite when we had three networks and Magnavox consoles.
Grocery shopping is all fun and games until they move my stuff around.
Not Today Eric retweeted
I'd crash weddings just for the cake
Not Today Eric retweeted
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years. Me: still calling it Twitter.
Welcome to Twitter: it’s like recess except we all have gray hair.
Not Today Eric retweeted
[First date] Me: I'm gonna need to hear how you think the word "loser" is spelled.
Welcome to adulthood: you’ll be trying to lose 10lbs for the rest of your life.
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JeepGirl Kristen @pinkristen
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Tiare Liberty Sol ☀.. @Tiare75
952 Followers 2K Following ✨Ancient Storyteller.✨Reader. I came for the stimulating conversation and stayed for the hashtag games. Open mind. No echo chambers. Team Twitter 🐦
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nicola h @nkh12349
28K Followers 9K Following I am that bridge-jumping friend your mum warned you about, except it was a pier and I was 8! Everton FC 💙. No DMs thanks 😋
Turgid Verse @gullyvuhr
3K Followers 1K Following I drink scotch, read poetry, and know things | ENTP | Prior military | Virgo in love | Expert in Data | Outlaw in Peru
OMG I love that song! @OMGIluvthatsong
10K Followers 935 Following I'm just a delivery dude who listens to music all day then gets home and talks about it here. And yes, I say this to just about every song. Also love movies!*goes to therapy, but just for tweet material*
@NotTodayEric I ate 2 share size bags last night. By myself. Just me. I did that.
@NotTodayEric It’s the opposite to me. If they let that shit beep for no reason 😂
My fave place to go to with my parents just browsing and renting Romy and Michelle’s HS Reunion for the 23rd time
This picture makes me happy.
I was literally just thinking this. I’m totally hooked.
Twitter day 1: I don’t get how people get addicted to this place. Twitter day 1,825: uh oh.
@Ambivert_7 @NotTodayEric It did have a distinct smell lol
I have vivid memories of arguing with my sister about what movie to rent
This picture makes me happy.
Be nice to everyone. Be friends with a few. Trust one person: yourself.
@NotTodayEric Waaaait. We can quit? I want to do that!
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