Yep ok. Wait, what? @YepWait
Pasta enthusiast. Can out-nap anyone. Described by others as mildly amusing on occasion 🍝 twitter.com/search?q=from%… Perth, Western Australia Joined April 2009-
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Yep ok. Wait, what? retweeted
what’s the opposite of the zoomies. that’s what i have
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one of the craziest parts of being alive right now is that you can be simultaneously thriving & crumbling at the exact same time it's truly wild bro
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I'm so impressed with left handed people, like idk why you'd get into that kind of thing but I respect it a lot
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My 5 YO got in the car this morning to go to school and asked if we “should roll the windows down and party” and I think I need to approach everything with that level of energy from now on.
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Mariah Carey beginning with “I don’t want a lot for Christmas” and then revealing she wants “you” is such a good burn
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always one piece of spaghetti in the pot the next day just like
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when the microwave does the passive aggressive double beep when you forget your food .. i just wanna know which bills you pay to be taking that tone with me
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“omg i could never poop in a public bathroom” bby i just pulled over at a random library to poop i am a hot girl with stomach issues and i cannot relate
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me: god, why must you give me your hardest battles god: i don't. you are my weakest soldier and these battles are so easy. it's an email why are you crying
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Wife [knocking on bathroom door]: hurry up, we're meeting my parents in 10 minutes Me [stepping into bath holding a toaster]: almost ready
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Don’t invite me to yo crib if yo couch peeling because imma peel it some more when you not looking
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Red Bull tastes like if gasoline was a berry
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No that’s my emotional support rotting bag of spinach
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So frustrating that both exercise and alcohol delete anxiety and one is so much easier and more enjoyable
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Attachment styles: - Secure - Anxious/avoidant - .doc - .pdf - Link to shared drive - Everything in a big zip file - In an email 5 minutes later apologizing for forgetting the attachment
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aladdin: I can show you the world jasmine: ok aladdin: lets just fly around the city we live in though
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sorry i unpacked all my trauma do you still want to kiss
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