Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau
Comedian, Writer, Founder of Persona Essential Social Media Management, writer of @GrimAndGraham PersonaEssential.com Chicago, IL Joined May 2016-
Tweets57K
-
Followers89K
-
Following1K
-
Likes97K
TONIGHT! Come see some of the funniest comics in Chicago due battle against our hottest sauces @thelincolnlodge! Use code SAUCE for discounted tickets! TIX: eventbrite.com/e/spitfire-com…
(Getting on the bus) Ok who should be the backup driver in case something happens to him. I say it should be me. Show of hands who agrees
gave some energy supps to this weird squid cuz he said some square bitch is keeping him up all night
gave some energy supps to this weird squid cuz he said some square bitch is keeping him up all night https://t.co/HKoZxbDHiW
wtf else was he supposed to do? not like he could binge netflix
wtf else was he supposed to do? not like he could binge netflix
okay so did we just stop trying to solve healthcare or what?
okay so did we just stop trying to solve healthcare or what?
this is my new narc test. anyone who says there’s an elephant can’t be trusted
mom: please, please just go play with the other children christopher robin: *googling how to order zoloft* I can’t the stuffed donkey I’m friends with is clinically depressed
her: i’ll have the salad, no nuts, please waiter: of course me: it didn’t say it had nuts her: i’m allergic, so I tell them to be safe me: that makes sense waiter: and for you? me: steak, no bees, please
me: the Kool-Aid man was basically a reverse vampire. he’d go into people’s houses uninvited and have them drink his blood my therapist: again, it’s not technically wrong but I’m concerned you have diagrams
They should do this at every job. If I knew any mistake I made was gonna be torn apart by a group of teenage girls I’d never fuck up again.
They should do this at every job. If I knew any mistake I made was gonna be torn apart by a group of teenage girls I’d never fuck up again.
On this week’s (PENULTIMATE!) episode of season one of How to Write a Joke, I sat down with king of one-liners @TheAndrewNadeau to discuss his writing process and why we never get invited to parties. Available now on Spotify, Amazon, and Apple Podcasts!
Making a Jurassic Park movie about a guy who went the day before the dinosaurs broke out and is trying to be sensitive about it but also really wants to show you his pictures.
[filling in my friend who’s never heard of OJ Simpson] him: wow! how can you be that good at football AND in the Naked Gun movies?? me: ok well don’t—let’s not get too excited yet
I’m in shock. We just had lunch and he was in good spirits. Smiling. Telling me how he just discovered where the Clinton’s were in June of ‘94 and how it would “change everything”.
This is so embarrassing. Why are we even trying to get to this planet?
This is so embarrassing. Why are we even trying to get to this planet?
im not getting paid enough for this 💀
The size of the gates in Jurassic Park suggests they were always planning on letting the dinosaurs out.
There’s a parallel universe where people age non-linearly, and every day you have no idea how old you’ll wake up. So sometimes you’d have to call into work like, “Sorry, can’t make it in today, I’m 7.”
waiter: ugh, that awful group is back jesus: hi! just 13 waters, please
jon drake @DrakeGatsby
112K Followers 2K Following they must have amnesia, they forgot that im him. 1/2 of @blastzonepod. senior brand strategist for @trymetafy
i can be your long lo.. @PallaviGunalan
93K Followers 2K Following
Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji
139K Followers 1K Following I am incredibly online | King of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach | he/him | the hits https://t.co/13Ium8Yy25
Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt
65K Followers 1K Following Extremely online internet gremlin & comedy content creator 🥄💜 @roxiqt on Bluesky & TikTok 🦝 https://t.co/JbrOVGHJgp ✨
fredesque @FredTaming
27K Followers 892 Following black & trans lives matter | stop asian hate | 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ friendly | he/him | fka taming fr*d s*vage |
Adam @adamgreattweet
63K Followers 3K Following Resident physician as seen on Buzzfeed and TV, RTd by Barack Obama. He/Him
Natalie @jbfan911
66K Followers 711 Following (in case my employer sees this) I love ethics and HIPAA | she/her
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91
24K Followers 341 Following Writer, animal foster person, 69 inches tall. If you let me write for your thing, I'll kiss you right on the head. Venmo/yael91, IG/the.yael
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman
32K Followers 3K Following cool ranch icarus, painter of LoveBots, king of diarrhea jokes
phil @PhilJamesson
84K Followers 985 Following my job is writing funny things for cool stuff | comedy for @DibsNext, @adultswim, @nerial, @dropout | mgmt: [email protected]
m@thew @TweetPotato314
44K Followers 597 Following retired: @tweetpotato314 ︎new: https://t.co/eGYheQADS5 personal: @antelopish
♥mark magark♥ @markedly
26K Followers 366 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/him
stoned cold fox @roastmalone_
56K Followers 2K Following no milk will EVER be our milk. can’t get enough of me? or just want to say hi? I answer my dms here: https://t.co/FOkADnw5vI
Emma_ER @EmmaER198175
53 Followers 1K Following My account was hacked by someone, so I'm going to start over again
PolarBearfacts @kidsanimalskids
42 Followers 99 Following The Arctic is not a forsaken wasteland to a polar bear; it is home, and a comfortable home at that. ( Ian Stirling )
Uncork'd Entertainmen.. @uncorkdent
4K Followers 6K Following Home Entertainment and Theatrical Film Distributor | #horror #documentary #foreign #scifi
George Coulter @sasquatch1882
1 Followers 40 Following Marine Biologist, astrophysicist, ice road trucker and Sarcasm world championship finalist Peru 98'
jun @JrArgonza
5 Followers 189 Following
Scott Pruett @PaulScottPruett
43 Followers 72 Following Senior software engineer and armchair Christian apologist
zena latif @zenalatif84
56 Followers 1K Following am very funny, the best funny you will meet, nobody is more funny than me....i trying okay. Practicing heart surgeon.
Jalum @dasmallgooner
3 Followers 20 Following
Megan Crowley @meganjcrowley
16 Followers 125 Following
Chicago’s Meadow So.. @acry4helpp
6K Followers 1K Following Rachel Berry apologist | local party girl shit poster | 3x Italian man of the year award recipient
Jen Gilligan @GilliganJen
68 Followers 420 Following
Lennart Breel @lennartbnl
298 Followers 542 Following Designer (logos, lettering, illustration, 3D, woodwork etc). Available for freelance.
P @MPH_BLM
126 Followers 351 Following
Julie Ouchley @JulieOuchley
6 Followers 310 Following
Rett @retrointhemetro
43 Followers 385 Following
Sqyd (she/her) @Mizqyd230
214 Followers 869 Following equity, compassion, Jesus, & matcha lattes || God hates the exploitation of the marginalized, because He loves the marginalized AND the exploiter ||
craig denny @DreamPerch1
767 Followers 3K Following music & nature buff. tech innovator. chiefs & jayhawks uber-fan. viva democracy. the answers to all the big questions are unknowable…
Jen G. @bennygil
104 Followers 554 Following There comes a time when you can choose to be silent or you can choose to stand up.
HDraper @HeidiDraper2
50 Followers 2K Following
DJB @DJB62568376
81 Followers 586 Following
Chris Black @AntAndAardvark
81 Followers 1K Following
Niki S @NikiNOLA
197 Followers 2K Following
Emilsnyc @emilsnyc
81 Followers 200 Following
IDoStuffSometimes @MarcieR83191387
145 Followers 948 Following Mom, future nurse, happily single. Super here for the funny and stupid, please don’t disappoint me Twitter.
Krysta Winters @kwinkwin2
6 Followers 140 Following
Maria Von Crapp 🟧 @begooddogood64
2K Followers 3K Following 💙💙💙 MO native, TX transplant. No DMs or lists
Nun Sequitur @Queenealogist
386 Followers 1K Following Ex-nun; family historian; über-introvert. “Blessed are they who have nothing to say and who cannot be persuaded to say it.” – James Russell Lowell
Heather Cave Vallad @heyvallad
184 Followers 517 Following Mother, wife, teacher- I feel like those are all the same thing
Matt Pendergrass @mattpendergrass
49 Followers 157 Following
Nikki A Garcia | Free.. @nikkigwrites
18 Followers 81 Following (she/her) Johns Hopkins University Alumna. Miami-based freelance writer and poet :):
Lauren Wilbanks @lleighbu
883 Followers 5K Following I mostly tweet about sports, especially Baylor sports. Sometimes, I tweet about other things. Christ Follower/ELA Teacher #SicEm #GoDawgs #FortheA
Bucky Freedent @BuckyFreeD
38 Followers 83 Following
no @RomanceEschaton
80 Followers 365 Following I lurk and click "like" only. Accidentally posted on other account so it got nuked.
J. Rose🧡🍊🧡 @jgrnnc
52 Followers 733 Following
Tanvi Shah @TanviShahC
173 Followers 750 Following Optometrist at Moorfields Eye Hospital; Director at Diopter Eye Clinic
naima online 🏳️�.. @naima_online
561 Followers 824 Following odludek, impostor, ponuractwo. Jestem stara i mam za złe. ona/jej (she/her)
Pajama Mama @BAureli
474 Followers 2K Following Don’t judge my likes—I may have fallen asleep with my thumb on the heart thingy
IainC @1a1nC
21 Followers 368 Following Compulsive Reader, Bad Climber, Better Underwater, Writer of Code. Citizen of Nowhere. Not a sheep. @[email protected]
jon drake @DrakeGatsby
112K Followers 2K Following they must have amnesia, they forgot that im him. 1/2 of @blastzonepod. senior brand strategist for @trymetafy
i can be your long lo.. @PallaviGunalan
93K Followers 2K Following
Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji
139K Followers 1K Following I am incredibly online | King of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach | he/him | the hits https://t.co/13Ium8Yy25
Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt
65K Followers 1K Following Extremely online internet gremlin & comedy content creator 🥄💜 @roxiqt on Bluesky & TikTok 🦝 https://t.co/JbrOVGHJgp ✨
fredesque @FredTaming
27K Followers 892 Following black & trans lives matter | stop asian hate | 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ friendly | he/him | fka taming fr*d s*vage |
Adam @adamgreattweet
63K Followers 3K Following Resident physician as seen on Buzzfeed and TV, RTd by Barack Obama. He/Him
Natalie @jbfan911
66K Followers 711 Following (in case my employer sees this) I love ethics and HIPAA | she/her
mike ginn @shutupmikeginn
210K Followers 1K Following
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91
24K Followers 341 Following Writer, animal foster person, 69 inches tall. If you let me write for your thing, I'll kiss you right on the head. Venmo/yael91, IG/the.yael
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman
32K Followers 3K Following cool ranch icarus, painter of LoveBots, king of diarrhea jokes
phil @PhilJamesson
84K Followers 985 Following my job is writing funny things for cool stuff | comedy for @DibsNext, @adultswim, @nerial, @dropout | mgmt: [email protected]
m@thew @TweetPotato314
44K Followers 597 Following retired: @tweetpotato314 ︎new: https://t.co/eGYheQADS5 personal: @antelopish
♥mark magark♥ @markedly
26K Followers 366 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/him
misha꙳ @schizarella
32K Followers 106 Following investigative journalist; former @WSJ @nytimes; bylines in @forbes @dexerto;
Dan Carney @DanManCarney
16K Followers 4K Following comedian, actor, click the link if you want to see me live (live, not live)
Doomscroll Show @doomscrollshow
134 Followers 41 Following A podcast about all the news hosted by @lisa_curry & @mattsheffield. You'll die if you don't subscribe. New episodes Wednesdays. A @DiscoverFlux show.
Game Changer 🪄 @GameChangerSam
79K Followers 80 Following 🏔️The game show where the rules change every show. 🏖️New episodes every other Monday on @dropout 🍋Only on @dropout
Dropout @dropout
100K Followers 210 Following 🐉 @dimension20show ☝️ @umactuallyshow 🤫 @gamechangersam 🍸 @dirtylaundrydo 💄 @vipeopleshow 🤐 @dontlaughnews 🗣️ @makesomenoisedo 🐷 @smartypantsdo
Sachi Ezura @misstrionics
3K Followers 2K Following Animation @comedycentral @paramountplus. Prev @thegreenespace, Irony Point, https://t.co/3iNm16StSF, IFC. 1/2 Japanese, 1/4 rican, she/her, feminist killjoy, Ellie's mom.
Conor Cawley @ConorCawley
1K Followers 658 Following Lead Writer at @TechCoHQ, Reviewer for @AndroidPolice, Producer for @DontTellComedy, stand up comedian, pronounces ”colloquially” wrong
Rolli @rolliwrites
58K Followers 9K Following Author. Cartoonist. Coffeeholic (25 cups/day). Work in @nytimes @WSJ @Playboy @SatEvePost. Newsletter: https://t.co/rA5gYJVh3R. Buy me a ☕: https://t.co/p8MvV8VuZF
Colby Day @thecolbyday
4K Followers 3K Following Screenwriter of Spaceman (now on @Netflix), In the Blink of an Eye (coming soon), other secret things
Grimm Creator Stephen.. @creator_grimm
8K Followers 7K Following Writer-Director. Grimm, Ocean’s Eleven, Blue Streak. Rep UTA. #1 Bestseller “A BLOCKBUSTER” Entertainment Weekly: https://t.co/YKlNAVDb4n
Arif "Felonious Munk".. @Felonious_munk
62K Followers 2K Following stand up booking: [email protected] all other booking: [email protected]
SrikerSly | 🇨🇦 .. @SrikerSly
2K Followers 1K Following She/Her 🍥✧ Twitch Partner ✧💬 Host @VirtualOffline ✧ #Vtuber ✧ Teacher ✧ VA ✧ 〖🎨 #SpyceArt 〗📧 [email protected] | https://t.co/yAmEZbJyrW ✧ PFP: @biii
OBSKUR @OBSKUROfficial
5K Followers 83 Following OBSKUR is the first broadcasting application built on #UE5 🔗https://t.co/z7OTM0nnzR Join our Discord Today: https://t.co/eCA2o9C4RB OBSKUR /əbˈskyo͝or/
✦ eve ✦ @impossiblyeve
24K Followers 5K Following i say dumb shit online | i stream on twitch (M/W/F) | https://t.co/K8ieWoomlq
Alex 🇺🇸🇧🇬 @_alexshaq
3K Followers 762 Following Co-founder @LeapAI_ | @fdotinc studio | Marina Plunge Club | winners win 🏁
beer person @CantEverDie
132K Followers 2K Following JUNE - L’CHAIM - TRANS DISINFO INFLUENCER - podcasting on @WesternKabuki & @CrateDiving - streaming games on https://t.co/kXjet8u2M2
You Are The Genre @YouAreTheGenre
820 Followers 104 Following Mapping the path toward your own genre w/ @TimBarnes451.
Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously
223K Followers 3K Following I miss Neopets. | Founding Host of ‘What a Day’ from @crookedmedia | @SundanceOrg Alum | OBVIOUSLY is out NOW📗
Solarion ✈️ Hong .. @SolarionFX
1K Followers 2K Following ☼Meme Librarian ☼⭐⭐⭐⭐Huge Gacha Spender ☼📺VTuber @SeedyShiomi ☼Tweets are my own and should never be taken seriously ☼PFP: @moonsmoothie prev. Social Discord
Summer Ray @SummerRay
28K Followers 1K Following voiceover/writer/illustrator/absolute joke. https://t.co/nwwRcZusqj
Interesting Things @interesting_aIl
1.5M Followers 95 Following Posting interesting history, tech, art, and more.
Janty @CFC_Janty
559K Followers 1K Following Honest footy Fan || Chelsea x Galatasaray x Joao Felix fan|| Business 📧 - [email protected]||@NixuhGG
Josef Arnehall @EsportsJosef
228 Followers 262 Following Sales @LURKITcom Views are my own. Business: [email protected]
ryan 🤿 @scubaryan_
297K Followers 992 Following not impersonating anyone — 🤿 | @destroynectar | @thatboiharley 🪼
jimmy @jimmyoutsold
66K Followers 2K Following jill roberts apologist • dm for promo • [email protected]
Ness @NessTwelve
1K Followers 714 Following The infamous Social Media Manager @ Voicemod Marketing Opinions are my own 🇵🇸
Dina @dinahashem_
29K Followers 1K Following allah’s lil angel, NYC comic. Watch my new special Dark Little Whispers on Amazon prime
Dave Gorman @DaveGorman
377K Followers 2K Following 36hrs of TV stand-up on youtube: https://t.co/iZYABKHYNy I also set crosswords. Bluth in the Indy, Fed in the Graun, Django in the Telegraph
Todd Stashwick @ToddStashwick
60K Followers 2K Following Actor: Star Trek Picard, 12 Monkeys Writer:@Skydance & @marvelgames 1943 Rise of Hydra, Scoundrel, Dungeon Master (he/him) https://t.co/BA0bkxwDnv
MADMONQ® 💊🍏 @madmonq
16K Followers 428 Following garage company from the mid lane of europe helping gamers level up their gaming, focus and health
Lurkit @lurkitcom
22K Followers 710 Following Making games grow. We connect content creators with game publishers through key campaigns, paid sponsorships, creator programs & more!
Samir | Combatglue @Combatglue
4K Followers 3K Following Global CM & SoMe Manager @IOInteractive, Project @007, @Hitman | Partner by @Twitch, @cherryxtrfy, @gg_creators & @madmonq | [email protected]
pocket @islandthembo
36K Followers 990 Following
Voicemod @voicemod
138K Followers 1K Following Soundboard and Real-Time AI Voice Changer for every moment 🎙️ Support: https://t.co/NeX29AS31R Discord: https://t.co/qcnBs6v2N7
Mike27356894 @Mike27356894
188K Followers 121 Following This is just a troll account, Im actually a Harvard Grad. If I baited you, reply to my comment with 'Thanks, Mike.' so I know you didn't fall for it lol.
@TheAndrewNadeau Andrew, I'm seeing this movie for Zendaya. IDGAF about tennis.
we did it reddit
Disney’s new "Holotile" treadmill/moving floor for VR is insane
this was my first graphic design job, i think i did great!!
‘CHALLENGERS’ releases in theaters today!
I sold a spec fanfic Muppet script to the Henson company, they launched my career, so, yes, big supporter of fanfic
@BrianLynch Fan fiction is a gateway drug, yes.
in honor of my show PROMEDY happening tonight at Color Club at 8 pm, I present to you: (almost) every version of Prom Cassidy
I was 14. I hand wrote 2 episodes of this. I wrote myself into the show. This might have been my first movie/tv show writing.
Apr 26, 1988: Just the Ten of Us debuted on ABC. #80s Spin-off of Growing Pains, ran 3 seasons & 47 episodes. Find out about the show's theme song here > 80sxchange.com/post/tv-theme-…
gonna have the rioters dropping words like “lugubrious” and “urbane” when they’re debating the ethics of shitting on Nancy Pelosi’s desk
Aaron Sorkin is writing a movie about January 6. Described as a quasi-sequel to ‘The Social Network’ that follows the rise of misinformation-for-profit online that may have led to January 6. (Source: @MattBelloni)
This is from my forthcoming book ❤️
Something crazy about Hollywood's silent film age is that a guy will be driving a train off a cliff while being attacked by lions and you'll think "Wow, how'd they do that effect!" then you look it up and they literally had lions attack a guy while he drove a train off a cliff
NEWS: My friends and I now own and run The Onion. I’ll be the CEO. We’re keeping the entire staff, bringing back The Onion News Network, and share the wealth with staff. Basically, we’re going to let them do whatever they want. Get excited. nytimes.com/2024/04/25/bus…
TONIGHT! Come see some of the funniest comics in Chicago due battle against our hottest sauces @thelincolnlodge! Use code SAUCE for discounted tickets! TIX: eventbrite.com/e/spitfire-com…
(Getting on the bus) Ok who should be the backup driver in case something happens to him. I say it should be me. Show of hands who agrees
gave some energy supps to this weird squid cuz he said some square bitch is keeping him up all night
this is movies. you’re describing watching movies
Sony patented ‘Auto-Play’ game mode The mode could allow players to skip over selected gameplay segments
budget’s spoken for
The outrage stemmed from their claim that a $5.99/month subscription was "affordable to everyone” They announced refunds for anyone who had purchased a subscription 🔗 dexerto.com/youtube/watche…
Thursday! Tickets are selling fast for our show at @thelincolnlodge! Come see the funniest comics in Chicago do battle against the hottest sauces for more stage time! Tix: eventbrite.com/e/spitfire-com…
Inflation is actually a good thing it means money is going viral
Trends for United States
You might like
