Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly
eagle trainer. puppy petter. drinker of milk. taker of naps. author. artist. my books available at https://t.co/tNhRJoHok6 twitter.com/search?q=from%… the surface of the sun Joined January 2009-
Tweets57K
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Followers5K
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Following1K
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Likes95K
one time at a party i used the word esoteric 48 times over the course of several conversations until i was escorted out by an occultist who said i was creating too much ennui in the room
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Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
Me at 26: I need to become financially independent and prioritize my mental and physical health Me at 36: I need a court wizard
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning and it looks like my charisma will be doing the heavy lifting again today.
you can achieve anything if you just put your mind to it. for example, i just saw a dead fish on the freeway
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
Denim vests are reserved for the really primo hoodlums.
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
Maryland is shaped like if you squashed a silverfish in a road atlas. More Maryland facts as I get them.
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
Arrive early for your job interview (one week early) and stand motionless in the lobby like a statue until they call your name.
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
Let's assemble our survival packs. First, we need a sturdy rope. Second, a machete so we don't have to eat the rope.
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
Nice man, you read a little about space.
buzz lightyear: ...to infinity & beyond! neil degrasse tyson: uh, hehe, couple things wrong with your catchphrase there, champ…
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
I’m no ornithologist but that bird sounds exactly like Jan Brady
never breaking eye contact with the waiter, i pull out a laundry detergent-sized jug of mustard & squeeze out a message on top of my pizza that reads: more pineapple, please
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
Open shelving (stylish!) is great if you like dust (skin flakes!) in your coffee cup.
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
If you give me another chance, I just know I can make things worse.
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.
Sunshine Jarboly retweeted
If a mannequin moves, it's possessed, not alive.
*the priest giving the sermon* & even though he laid down some pretty strict rules, god finally realized that the humans had turned his beloved planet, the earth, into a giant mad max movie, forcing him to send his only son down to try & straighten these pests out once & for all
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Bob Golen @BobGolen
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Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
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cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪ.. @sofarrsogud
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Salty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
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Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
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Midge @mxmclain
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77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Bob Golen @BobGolen
33K Followers 23K Following Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 825 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
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26K Followers 653 Following Creator of @Sorrowscopes & @WeirdCelebTwets https://t.co/fJ5BJjLtIb
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
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Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following Smooth like nitroglycerin. Sidekick to @gingerhotdish
cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
11K Followers 2K Following slowly backing away. TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/K8oKqyuL84 click below for recent. I’m the same guy at the other places.
FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪ.. @sofarrsogud
23K Followers 6K Following 🖊️ Some of my tweets are crafted like a sculpture from a block of wood. Others are pumped out like farts.
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
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Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
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556K Followers 394 Following It makes zero professional or business sense to be on this platform anymore. Find me on Threads, Instagram or BlueSky (DrewFromTV on all)
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Curt Smith🖕🏼 @curtsmith
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Photoshop Expert @lifehackni
103K Followers 10 Following The possession of knowledge does not kill the sense of wonder and mystery.Me at 26: I need to become financially independent and prioritize my mental and physical health Me at 36: I need a court wizard
Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning and it looks like my charisma will be doing the heavy lifting again today.
@SunshineJarboly Honey, look! That fish is WALKI---
Denim vests are reserved for the really primo hoodlums.
Maryland is shaped like if you squashed a silverfish in a road atlas. More Maryland facts as I get them.
Arrive early for your job interview (one week early) and stand motionless in the lobby like a statue until they call your name.
Let's assemble our survival packs. First, we need a sturdy rope. Second, a machete so we don't have to eat the rope.
@SunshineJarboly "take me to your leader" "Well, Spencer Strider has more wins, but Gerritt Cole has the lower ERA, so..."
@SunshineJarboly YEAH it is. These are wicked pissah SJ!
Nice man, you read a little about space.
@SunshineJarboly oh my god, tremendous work! could you leave a little talent for the rest of us? 🤍🤍🤍
I’m no ornithologist but that bird sounds exactly like Jan Brady
Open shelving (stylish!) is great if you like dust (skin flakes!) in your coffee cup.
If you give me another chance, I just know I can make things worse.
one of New York’s weirdest mysteries
I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.
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