Dad is Teaching 👨🏫 @DadisGrumpy
Twin girl dad. Husband. Teacher. Grumpy. #twindad #girldad #dadlife #teacherlife #parenting #marriage Redmond, WA Joined December 2017-
Tweets4K
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Followers5K
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Following1K
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Likes21K
Me in 2002: Wow this Lil John song is dope. I’ve never heard anything like this before. Me in 2023: When my 6 year olds yell “YEAH” or “OKAYY” I suddenly want to see how far it is from the window to the wall.
6yo: I’m going to eat your snacks Me: No you’re not I can see you, and you’re not that sneaky 6: ok I’ll just wait until you’re pooping because I’ll have plenty of time
QUICK QUESTION: Is it "for fucks sake" or "for fuck sake" It's for a work email, so has to sound professional.
I really envy how kids can just randomly yell “I HAVE TO POOP!” and run out of the room, an everyone’s just like “good for them knowing their body”
Every time I watch a zombie show I wonder how many of the survivors in the zombie outbreak also watched zombie shows before the outbreak.
The silent treatment is a normalized form of emotional abuse. Part of maturing is learning how to communicate, rather than using silence as punishment.
WHY THE FUCK DOES A 6 YEAR OLD HAVE ACCESS TO A GUN
@bertkreischer Capoeira - Brazilian dance- martial arts
My 6 year old just put gingerbread house frosting on her finger and rubbed it on her gums like a coke addict
Dear @wsdot - for Christmas this year, please make the Montlake/520 intersection not horrible, but I’d settle for peace on earth since that seems more achievable. Thanks! 🎄
“Going to Disneyland is like the parenting Olympics except there are no winners or awards” -My wife, as we’re leaving Disneyland
The push to universalize phone chargers is great, but how about a universal straw size for reusable kids cups? Parents?!? Who’s with me?!?
Seattle: OH MY GOD THE AQI IS SO HIGH THE SMOKE IS GOING TO KILL US ALL Also Seattle: …but we’re good at baseball right now so who cares?!? Woooooooooo!!! #Mariners
@OhioMomoftwo Maybe it doubles as dish soap
My 6 year old just asked for a turkey sandwich, then took the sandwich that I made for her, peeled all the turkey off of it, balled the meat up in her hand, and is eating it the ball of turkey meat like an apple. So to answer your question, yesit’s a normal day with 6 year olds
Dadman Standing @dadmann_walking
59K Followers 1K Following introvert. dad of 3 boys. not interested. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My link https://t.co/X1R5q5BtIr seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents
Snarky Mommy @SnarkyMommy78
36K Followers 2K Following venting snarkily about motherhood and raging angrily about the current president
Marcy G @BunAndLeggings
47K Followers 2K Following parenthood is like a box of chocolates... it's expensive
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
21K Followers 4K Following Protagonist for the People in court. Yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
That Mom Tho @mom_tho
45K Followers 2K Following contributor @scarymommy [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
31K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 968 Following *humor account* | writer | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
TwinzerDad @TwinzerDad
9K Followers 3K Following Just a Yinzer completely unqualified to raise Twinzers.
Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues
17K Followers 2K Following Working mom of two boys, happily married, trying to bring a little joy to the nonsense of parenting. https://t.co/PRXtD7RCnu
🖤 Just Heather �... @weedswildflowrs
10K Followers 3K Following Just an #AuDHD witchy mom. #LGBTQ #bi and ally. Disabled and #scoliosisstrong This is a safe space. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Twinstant Family | Li... @twinstantfamily
3K Followers 930 Following Twitter is just like real life. I talk about my kids and our life only to find out I’m just talking to myself. 100% mom, wife, mess. #IVF #ASD
Marissa ☀️🌴�... @michimama75
9K Followers 2K Following And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky/A human being that was given to fly
meghan @deloisivete
23K Followers 3K Following surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Mommy Needs a Life @momneedsalife3
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Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTw0
4K Followers 1K Following Mum of 2 under 2 in 2022. Here for the laughs on all things parenting and marriage!
Dad Named Matt 🇺�... @mahnamematt
6K Followers 1K Following Dad. Husband. Veteran. Coffee. Baseball. Memphis.- -Best ⬇️ - latest ➡️ https://t.co/IipngUg6X6
Dadof2Boys @Dadof2crazyboys
3K Followers 973 Following Account is closely monitored by my mother who tells my wife.
DadLife @DadLife247365
244 Followers 2K Following A midwest dad sharing what I’ve learned to help you navigate fatherhood. Real advice, zero judgment, and a community for dads. Let's figure this out together.
Home Office Dadventur... @Home_Office_Dad
2 Followers 48 Following Home Office Dadventures. 💼 Remote Work & AI Trends. 🍼 Parenting Survival Tips. 🥗 Weekly Meal Plans/Recipes. Optimizing the home, the kitchen, and the office
Spin the Wheel 👌 @Spinthewheelio
98 Followers 667 Following #Edtech classroom tool! 🎓Design up to 8️⃣custom wheels & spin simultaneously or individually. Give it a spin & save in your completely free account.
Laurie Trainham @LaurieTrainham
3K Followers 4K Following Central NY 🍊 4th grade math and science teacher 👩🏫 creating an inclusive environment - . -💰Venmo - Laurie-Trainham
Owen E. Richason IV @OwenERichasonIV
2K Followers 4K Following Non-fiction author of S4: Students, Schools, Social Media & Success: https://t.co/FeTjPKEpeV | Helping parents & kids navigate college search, planning, and prep
SDC Multimedia @SDCMultiMedia
317 Followers 1K Following We conjure #YAfantasy & summon #YAhorror. Dare to explore the shelves: https://t.co/LPKaFizxvk Socials: https://t.co/uX5GotJqKI Follow Us & Join Us.
Ms. G @ms_j3nn
511 Followers 1K Following 🍎👩🏽🏫📖1st Gr Bil ICT Teacher 🗽#TeachNYC #LGK 🏀⚾️💙🧡 #LGM #AnimalLover 🐱🐶
SmartEducator @_Smart_Educator
69 Followers 351 Following AI powered assessment platform for teachers & schools Saving teachers 8+ hours a week Try SmartEducator 2026 for FREE👇
IAm IsTheOne @iam9812
2 Followers 117 Following
BITEME @BITEME186847411
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Barbara @BarbaraMurphy23
761 Followers 4K Following Cat person. INFJ. Editor. Reads books. Walks. Sings in a choir. No DMs.
MarciaDodd @Jq7CF9tGG7aEht
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FloraO'Neil @FJRq54hU6YYM8
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KittenAnn @KathyDobson13
569 Followers 1K Following Retired middle school science teacher, mother of Aspie, Caregiver, daughter, sister, optimist, fact checker, truth seeker #CovidIsNotOver #BlackLivesMatter
Sandra Sanders @SandraSand31858
0 Followers 5 Following
Lindsay Graham @LindsayGra77989
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Erika Infante @ErikaInfan37703
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Eric Nelson @coachericnelson
643 Followers 3K Following Christian | Husband | Father | PE Teacher | Health Coach
Fred Johnson @fred_ucation
792 Followers 3K Following Education | Entrepreneurship | Excellence #studentengagement #edtech 11 ½ years teaching in public schools Now I serve teachers
TestPrepGrow @TestPrepGrow
1K Followers 5K Following TEKS-aligned practice tests, bell ringers, and quizzes built by Texas teachers, vetted by experts, and mapped to STAAR reporting categories
Genevieve McCutchen-T... @GenneMcC
2 Followers 80 Following
WorkFromHome Dad @1WFHdad
1 Followers 9 Following
Zombie Tactical Cord @Zombie_Tac_Cord
286 Followers 221 Following Morale products, patches, and gear for this side of the apocalypse and beyond! Survival, zombies, nerdy stuff, memes, and more!
@ kerrisue @redundant33
215 Followers 526 Following I’m disabled, a wife, mom to a teen. I’m a leftist, anxious, depressed Swiftie, and “mom funny” as per my spouse.
AFamilyCollective @AFCollective37
68 Followers 415 Following AFamilyCollective is a small clothing & accessories shop. We love all family dynamics and strive to honor all walks of family life. We are A Family Collective!
James Stoddart 💙 @jimmystod
67 Followers 677 Following Those who serve will be loved and remembered longer than those who cling to power and privilege are long forgotten
Damen - The Individua... @Individualdad
4 Followers 57 Following Father of Two 👨👧👧 Sacramento, CA - go kings 🏀 Linfield University ‘97 “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet” -Mahatma Gandhi
Mrs Guthrie @GuthrieClass140
16 Followers 99 Following Mama of 3! Wife. HS English Teacher. Grammar Nerd. Bibliophile. Lover of all things Ironman, Green Arrow, and Star Wars. Cowboys fan & a Boilermaker fan too.
Gary Wells @garygamesbadly
1 Followers 165 Following
Maria Caruso @marjenmar
11 Followers 192 Following
That Dad @ThatDadUK
64 Followers 186 Following Dad of three | blogging about parenting and all things Dad | run by @mrandyhood
Little Kid Game @littlekidgame
295 Followers 3K Following Bringing you the best in educational mobile games for kids! Curated by parents, recommended by educators. #littlekidgame #edugames.(Some may be sponsored)
Benny Boxabullshit @bens4lsu
124 Followers 565 Following I’m just here for a chuckle, and to dismiss the fruits of fellow humans’ hard work as “hacky.”
Mandy Froehlich @froehlichm
23K Followers 16K Following Director of Professional Learning @TeqProducts | Human Sustainability Consultant | @Edu_Match COO | #Author | Educator #MentalHealth Advocate
John Miller @mexusmx
11K Followers 9K Following My wife & 2 sons give meaning to everything I do! Head of Eton School Mexico, @NAEducation School in Mexico City. 1990 TFA Corps Member
Heather L @HeatherL114
10K Followers 6K Following Early Education teacher, Disneyland fan. Living on Coast Salish land (Seattleish). She/her
Bodacious Bella @bodaciousbella3
15K Followers 1K Following ♋️ CANCER BABE♋️ I’m a mess. Allegedly. Lovable, tho 🫶🏾
School Satchel @nomugteacher
15 Followers 51 Following Education Education Education Was a genuine SLT member, then 'it' all became a bit ungenuine...now in the shadows, slowly fading, but still here.
Nastratin Hogea @Nastratin_
0 Followers 127 Following
Abass Slim @slim_abass
58 Followers 770 Following I'm a freelancer SERVICESOFFERINGG Etsy shop Setup Etsy store design & arrangement Etsy Banner design digital product designers Etsy product research Etsy seo
The Health Movement P... @HealthMovementP
846 Followers 2K Following x account for The Health Movement Podcast
The Mom, M.Ed. 💃 @TheMomMEd
1K Followers 1K Following Mom. Writer (WattPad @jrobeson). Chronic Pain Warrior. Animal lover. Baker, at times. I have extremely dry wit, and I’m not sorry about it. ***I do not DM.***
PLAY YEARS @play_years
352 Followers 2K Following A Parenting-Space-Science-Life-Play-Memory-Time-History-Imagination-Meaning poetic journey by Kevin K. Shah | Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Samsung | Audible
Parenting with a Side... @PWASOVpodcast
93 Followers 206 Following Podcast for parents who need a drink!
Nicole | Writer, Blog... @Mama_Monologues
81 Followers 199 Following Single Mom, Co-Parenting Consultant, Blended Family Newbie, Recovering Teacher
Dadman Standing @dadmann_walking
59K Followers 1K Following introvert. dad of 3 boys. not interested. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My link https://t.co/X1R5q5BtIr seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents
The Real Rodney Lacro... @RealRodLacroix
45K Followers 8K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmLu5i | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/F2vUtf3nx6
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
73K Followers 8K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Snarky Mommy @SnarkyMommy78
36K Followers 2K Following venting snarkily about motherhood and raging angrily about the current president
Marcy G @BunAndLeggings
47K Followers 2K Following parenthood is like a box of chocolates... it's expensive
The Dad @thedad
130K Followers 530 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
21K Followers 4K Following Protagonist for the People in court. Yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
That Mom Tho @mom_tho
45K Followers 2K Following contributor @scarymommy [email protected] Tweets: https://t.co/5zWeBtUUx6
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
13K Followers 857 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
31K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom
15K Followers 834 Following mom of three || perpetually late || relatively unsociable || my tweets ➡️ https://t.co/Fwl0uhBPZD
Adam @adamgreattweet
58K Followers 2K Following Dog owner but she doesn’t know I’m on here. Parody account. He/Him
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 968 Following *humor account* | writer | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
TwinzerDad @TwinzerDad
9K Followers 3K Following Just a Yinzer completely unqualified to raise Twinzers.
Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues
17K Followers 2K Following Working mom of two boys, happily married, trying to bring a little joy to the nonsense of parenting. https://t.co/PRXtD7RCnu
🖤 Just Heather �... @weedswildflowrs
10K Followers 3K Following Just an #AuDHD witchy mom. #LGBTQ #bi and ally. Disabled and #scoliosisstrong This is a safe space. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Twinstant Family | Li... @twinstantfamily
3K Followers 930 Following Twitter is just like real life. I talk about my kids and our life only to find out I’m just talking to myself. 100% mom, wife, mess. #IVF #ASD
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
25K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
That Dad @ThatDadUK
64 Followers 186 Following Dad of three | blogging about parenting and all things Dad | run by @mrandyhood
Tristan Snell @TristanSnell
578K Followers 223K Following Lawyer, commentator, fighter for democracy. Prosecuted Trump University @ NY AG. Substack: https://t.co/9iRTNuAbIH. Host of the Tristan Snell Show on Apple + Spotify.
Mandy Froehlich @froehlichm
23K Followers 16K Following Director of Professional Learning @TeqProducts | Human Sustainability Consultant | @Edu_Match COO | #Author | Educator #MentalHealth Advocate
Sarah Kogler @weatherchaser5
5K Followers 2K Following BS Atmospheric Science - Ohio State, Meteorologist, Storm Chaser, Structure Hipster, Photographer and lover of all things travel. Grand Optimist, Thalassophile
Jon Cooper 🇺🇸 @joncoopertweets
1.4M Followers 76K Following Democratic strategist. Formerly Long Island Campaign Chair for Barack Obama; Majority Leader of the Suffolk County Legislature. @DukeU alum. Coffee addict.
𝓓𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓢... @daveschmittou
11K Followers 11K Following Leader; learner; wanna be runner; maker of mistakes; country music fan; poker of bears
Shannon O'Donnell @ShannonODKOMO
16K Followers 2K Following Balancing meteorology & motherhood to bring you forecasts as Chief Meteorologist at @komonews ☀️ @UWAtmosSci Alum/Researcher ⛈ @TheUWDawgcast Adjunct Professor
Rep. Eric Swalwell @RepSwalwell
1.5M Followers 12K Following Californian | Husband | Dad to Nelson, Cricket & Hank | Congressman |@HouseJudiciary @HomelandDems | social media policy:https://t.co/47CTxGuV0o | #EndGunViolence
John Miller @mexusmx
11K Followers 9K Following My wife & 2 sons give meaning to everything I do! Head of Eton School Mexico, @NAEducation School in Mexico City. 1990 TFA Corps Member
Heather L @HeatherL114
10K Followers 6K Following Early Education teacher, Disneyland fan. Living on Coast Salish land (Seattleish). She/her
Jill Biden Archived @FLOTUS46Archive
4.2M Followers 5 Following This is an archive of a Biden administration account, maintained by the National Archives and Records Administration.
Governor Bob Ferguson @GovBobFerguson
379K Followers 712 Following Governor of the State of Washington
The Health Movement P... @HealthMovementP
846 Followers 2K Following x account for The Health Movement Podcast
The Mom, M.Ed. 💃 @TheMomMEd
1K Followers 1K Following Mom. Writer (WattPad @jrobeson). Chronic Pain Warrior. Animal lover. Baker, at times. I have extremely dry wit, and I’m not sorry about it. ***I do not DM.***
Parenting with a Side... @PWASOVpodcast
93 Followers 206 Following Podcast for parents who need a drink!
A Dad & His Jokes @ADadAndHisJokes
580 Followers 186 Following New dad that’s literally only here to make jokes about parenting.
The REAL Messy Mom @TheREALMessyMom
3K Followers 1K Following I am a REAL Mom With REAL Mess and REAL life. Read more at https://t.co/tLBLk1gD1f
Get Help Dad Podcast @gethelpdad
338 Followers 803 Following The best 3-5 minutes start of your day!! A podcast to make you smile. Daily Dad jokes and Life/Parenting tips and tricks to help you survive #FlyEaglesFly
Parental Misguidance @parentalmis
1K Followers 828 Following Do you have all the answers for parenting? Neither do we. Join parents who fail big and often to share your favorite parenting tweet of the week on Sun 11-6 EST
Underwater Dad @UnderwaterDad
596 Followers 567 Following Dad of four girls (6, 5, and twin 2-year-olds). Chronicling their exploits to help me remember.
Mediocre Moms Club @ClubMediocreMom
386 Followers 749 Following
Nicole | Writer, Blog... @Mama_Monologues
81 Followers 199 Following Single Mom, Co-Parenting Consultant, Blended Family Newbie, Recovering Teacher
The Optimized Mom @OptimizedMama
156 Followers 563 Following Everyday insights and efficiencies from an ever-optimizing mama. Mom of four, full-time professional, regular volunteer.
Stark Raving Dad @StrkRvngDad
300 Followers 376 Following Dad of 2 boys aged 4 and 1. Routinely outmanoeuvred by the 4 year old. At least the dog still thinks I’m in charge.
Penny Jane 🇺🇲�... @pennyjane799
775 Followers 922 Following A Wife, Mamma, Meowther, Sister & Friend. Christian but real. Loves discussing cats, relationships, kids, tv & movies. No DMs please. Sorry about all the gifs.
Julie Anderson @jcanderson4286
329 Followers 1K Following Liberal raised by hippies in CA wondering for too many years what kind of people voted for and support Trump, Proud mom and J-Mom (grandma), IT Professional.
zilla @zillawrites
5K Followers 2K Following 📎There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things. 🎮 NPC 📚 LR: Episode Thirteen 🖤🤍💜 🩸 In my FINAL GIRL era 🩸📚 rep: Alex Land at MWLA🔪
The Parent Club @The_ParentClub
208 Followers 162 Following The honest and realistic parenting club. 🤰🏼👶🏼 Stories and snippets from those who have been through it before 🤝 #Pregnancy | #Parenting | #Motherhood👇🏽
The Hu @TheHuOfficial
24K Followers 55 Following Pre-save our new album, "The Hun" ttps://thehu.lnk.to/hun
kim nixon @Knix16
35 Followers 625 Following I was coerced into joining Twitter. Don't expect me to answer you. Do tag me in any and all inappropriate shennanigans. 💖😘
Sio 💗💜💙 🇺... @sionolen
169 Followers 238 Following She/Her I do things. Sometimes I tweet about them. Mostly about board games and #momlife, you have been warned. Also, I sparkle. ✨
Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTw0
4K Followers 1K Following Mum of 2 under 2 in 2022. Here for the laughs on all things parenting and marriage!
Mark Rogers @marktedrogers
2K Followers 454 Following Ex Wycombe Wanderers, Canadian Men's National Team.
Daddy⤏In⤏Motion @daddyinmotion
760 Followers 821 Following Life’s a comedy but when you’re a dad it’s a dark one. Absurd is the new normal. Not featured on @huffpost @buzzfeed @boredpanda
imlittlemissrita @imritarodriguez
498 Followers 2K Following Whom shall I fear? I’m a Child of God | Opinions are my own | Advocate |End Homelessness | Education | Go Irish |DC4L | Dodgers | College 🥎 | DaBulls | 🥊 Chic
Hingle McCringleberry... @JustDaddyNow
632 Followers 2K Following I am a Ex-Husband and a Daddy. and I am NOT, NOT interested in bitcoin, or crptyocoin. I like BBQ, The Chiefs and My girlfriend and my kids.
LaughCryCoffee @laughcrycoffee
876 Followers 432 Following Here to commiserate about life with toddlers. Featured on HuffPost and Today. Now on insta!
pam 🇨🇦❤️ @pam0716
6K Followers 5K Following Mom of one awesome kid, 2 crazy dogs & 5 chilled out cats. And overall, Just a girl looking for a little bit of happiness every day #TeamCanada 🇨🇦❤️
Mom, but not your mom @aolow0890
668 Followers 1K Following mom of all girls. happily married. No DMs please.
Catey | OliveJuice @olivejuice365
628 Followers 614 Following Mama ⁴ 👦🏻👦🏼👧🏻👧🏽//LMSW🗣//Parenthood and Lifestyle Blogger 👩💻
Taken Over By Twins @TwinParenting
187 Followers 332 Following Father to twins 🫣 Not enough coffee in the world makes up for no sleep. I dabble in writing!
Walt Disney World @WaltDisneyWorld
3.5M Followers 180 Following Welcome to the official Twitter feed for Walt Disney World Resort, The Most Magical Place on Earth!
Seattle Sounders FC @SoundersFC
545K Followers 342 Following The only MLS club with all five annual trophies.
Tom Noland @NolandTt
1K Followers 3K Following Father, Boulderite, Safety Man. Can not figure out how some still support the former idiot in chief.
𝒞𝒽𝓇𝒾𝓈�... @ChristinaVirtu
3K Followers 2K Following @VirtuVega @screenstogreens | Building championship rosters! 🏆 | Powered by: @optimahp | Previously : @EvolvedTalent













