Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets @gfishandnuggets
Mom of 2 kiddos. Realtor. Writer and Tweeter for fun. Seen in HuffPost and Scary Mommy. https://t.co/XIt1l0BX3O goldfishandchickennuggets.com Toronto, Ontario Canada Joined June 2018-
Tweets14K
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Followers10K
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Following1K
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Likes16K
I don’t understand the first thing about Roblox, but I’m starting to understand its draw to kids of a certain age. My 8yo currently has assembled a team of chicken nuggets dancing next to his avatar while Cotton Eyed Joe and fart noises blast in the background.
A couple of ladies complimented my 8yo’s good behaviour at a restaurant yesterday. What they didn’t know is that he is neurodivergent, and it took him a long time to get this far. These ladies have no idea how much their kind words meant to us. Spread kindness!
A kid was telling jokes at the school talent show today and lost his train of thought. Instead of getting flustered, he said “I made a mistake…we all make mistakes!” Well said little dude! We can all learn from this.
Amazing to run into friends at the Leafs Game! #LeafsForever
I don’t cry often…but when I do, it’s usually during parent-teacher interviews, with tears of appreciation for my neurodivergent son’s teacher. Teachers, please know how much we appreciate you.
My 8yo is outside playing street hockey in his Crocs and Minecraft onesie pyjamas, and if that isn’t living your best life, I don’t know what is.
My daughter told me she had to try her new Crocs on in “Sport Mode” to ensure they fit properly, because apparently “Poolside Mode” alone doesn’t provide all the necessary information.
Sometimes having an ADHD kid means he hops on the ice at the end of his hockey game and hits the Griddy. Neurodivergence is a beautiful thing.
My 8yo asked me how many NHL players have all their original teeth, in case you were wondering what Canadian kids think about.
I’m currently watching The Terminator with my kids and having to explain what phone books and land lines are for, so if you need me I’ll be over here booking a colonoscopy and applying night serum.
My 8yo’s response to the extra garlic bread I made after dinner was “let’s get this party started.” DNA confirmed.
What I envisioned when we were gifted an Elf on the Shelf: Making magical, creative memories for the kids to cherish forever. What actually happens: Husband football-tosses the elf across the room 4 seconds before the kids wake up as I scramble to find a new place for said elf.
Why, yes - while most parents are collectively losing their shit, this would be a great time of year to do “Dress up like Rudolph” day. - Middle Schools
My husband is sending me homemade deep dish pizza recipes from across the couch. This is peak marriage.
Watching classic Christmas movies with my kids and they are “confused about the animation” and are “not sure why people are dressed like that,” so if you need me, I’ll be over here applying night serum and booking my regularly scheduled colonoscopy.
Nothing prepares you for the amount of sleepless nights you will experience as the parent of a neurodivergent child. If you know, you know.
The irony of our entire family trying to untangle 320 feet of tangled Christmas lights while watching Christmas Vacation is not lost on me.
It’s bedtime and almost 11:30 p.m. and my husband just football tossed the Elf on the Shelf to me in our continuous last-minute, hot mess effort of making Christmas magic. Teamwork makes the dream work.
A young mom was admiring our Christmas lawn decor. I told her that because life is so hectic, that it took days to get together. Also told her that our Christmas tree is up and not decorated. She sighed and said “ours too.” Behind the scenes, none of us have our shit together.
My daughter just learned how to make origami boats, so please give me a heads up if anyone needs one. We have about 2,936 extra.
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
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Jessie @mommajessiec
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Marcy G @BunAndLeggings
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Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal
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Here's Johnny D🌞 @venture675
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DYPER | The Responsib.. @GetDYPER
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Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
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171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
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77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
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Marcy G @BunAndLeggings
51K Followers 2K Following parenthood is like a box of chocolates... it's expensive
The Dad @thedad
142K Followers 590 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
That Mom Tho @mom_tho
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Momsense Ensues @momsense_ensues
18K Followers 2K Following Working mom of two boys, happily married, trying to bring a little joy to the nonsense of parenting 💕 https://t.co/ujkBfo5Yxt 💕 #BLM
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
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One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom
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I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
Maryfairyboberry🧚�.. @maryfairybobrry
44K Followers 7K Following Mom Humor, Nonverbal Autism, Adoptee Journey, Ocean
Henpecked Hal @HenpeckedHal
136K Followers 2K Following Welcome to parenthood. Yes, it's possible to have the worst day of your life before 6:00 AM. https://t.co/jv3VQ5CW4O
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Christian Nightmares @ChristnNitemare
115K Followers 4K Following Newsletter, t-shirts, podcast episodes, music, and more in my Linktree ⬇️
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945 Followers 568 Following 📣 2 mamas on a mission to rebuild the lost village through humour, encouragement & community! ✌🏻
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@gfishandnuggets So good to hear and thank you! ♥️
My son proposed to his fiancée about six months ago and she said yes. They’re super happy, we love her family too. I just found out today that another girl is in love with him and plans to propose next week.... should I say anything? Oh and also, he’s 4. They’re all 4.
@gfishandnuggets @MadHatterMommy Wouldn’t peak be him making the pizza? 🍕
Michael Bunting got suspended for three games for giving someone a concussion. Sam Bennett didn't even get fined for that for doing that to Matthew Knies. He got fined for crosschecking Michael Bunting on a different play. There is no precedent or standard from @NHLPlayerSafety.
The Fanalytics have confirmed what all Toronto fans already feel: it’s not right to have “Boston” in our name while Toronto looks to make history. So effective immediately, you may refer to our Toronto locations as AUSTON PIZZA.
My ex thought Mother’s Day is on a Friday this year and my daughter thought Mother’s Day is always May 9th if you’re wondering my expectations on Mother’s Day.
I went down a strange rabbit hole looking for joke toilet seat covers for my dad and now all my targeted adds are for toilet seats covers. I can’t even be mad, I did this to myself.
At every sports practice there are kids who really want to be there and there are parents who really want their kids to be there. These kids and parents are not from the same families.
6, doing school work: we’re both doing important stuff on our computers, mom Me, online shopping: you know it, girl
There is no sadness like the deep sadness of a child whose parent forgot it was pajama day at school.
6: pretend I’m a girl who talks a lot and is nice but is sometimes mean Me: pretend?
My mother in law had eye surgery yesterday and when we texted my father in law to ask how it went he responded with this photo.
@gfishandnuggets Definitely goes under things that should not be said or played in the presence of children
@gfishandnuggets Agree, but also...Caillou.
Well well well, if it isn’t the “Mom, can I spend the night at my friend’s house after prom” trick.
We really missed an opportunity naming the “Microwave,” for something cuter like, “Punywave” OR “Teenyweenywave.” What are some other everyday items you think deserve a better name?
My 5 yr old just declared "I have to do all the work around here" because he had to get his own Kit Kat off the shelf - things to consider before having children
Live footage of me sending my kid off to school after spring break:
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