mariana Z @mariana057
I’m not a comedian, but I joke a lot. I steal the good jokes. Bad jokes are mine. https://t.co/vuTppu9Ipm Resist. NO DMS. https://t.co/NYnPEaUuzV🌊🌊 ko-fi.com/mariana057 United States Joined July 2008-
Tweets144K
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Followers110K
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Following38K
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Likes591K
My wife just threw away bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I'm married to a psychopath….
The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid… No one would be able to find it.
Who would you be as a cartoon character?
Who would you be as a cartoon character? https://t.co/UQw2urtYem
A weasel walks into a bar.. The bartender says Wow I’ve never served a weasel before, what can I get you? Pop goes the weasel.
One minute you’re young & carefree. The next minute, your kids are asking for help with their history homework because you were alive in the nineteen hundreds…
Art.
It's almost storm season. If a news van pulls into your neighborhood, remember: Teeth and bras people. Teeth and bras.
My wife and I decided to never go to bed angry at each other. We've been awake since Friday.
My wife suggested we go to the pub separately & relive our 1st date. So she walked over to me and said “can I buy you a drink?” I replied “sorry I’m married.”
I've worked very hard most of my adult life to get rid of all these traits because to feel everything is to feel too much, but you can't fight city hall 😂 Now that I am NC with my abusive family, the beauty and strength of being a sensitive creature is returning to me.
This clown relentlessly assaults @FROzenliberal. He uses her likeness, despite being told not to. He keeps doubling down on his misogyny. He’s not an empath at all. He’s a narcissist. Always deflecting, always the victim. @PunkRockEmpath
Oh look, Punk Rock Empath is being a douchebag to women again. How shocking. 🙄
.@PunkRockEmpath has over 1000 mutuals with me. This person is the farthest thing from Punk Rock and even further away from being an empath. He thinks he can bully and torment women without consequences. Watch out for this guy.
I'm doing this thing over on ReallyAmerican's channel on the Tube by Google. Here's a clip from today's episode.
11:34: Arrived at crime scene 11:34: Examined body. Signs of a struggle 11:34: Found murder weapon in drain 11:34: Realized watch was broken
Doc @DocAtCDI
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310 Followers 1K Following Pragmatism/Logic/Facts are always the best approach. Reformed Dem. Believed the propaganda. Never again.Cthulhu @Cthulhu83
558 Followers 2K Following He/Him/Hrothgar/Great Old One — No DMs without asking first — Video Games/Movies/Music/Books/Podcasts/THC Gummies 😎♿️ ;,,;Samuel Adams "Tesla's.. @SamuelAdams1949
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3 Followers 23 FollowingEman ASK @EmanALK
229 Followers 522 FollowingThis is Signal🏴.. @signal_is
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122 Followers 361 Following Been a few years; let’s see: bout to hit 39 and 11 years married this year, three kids, counselor, exvangelical, recovering republican.catlove @loventhal
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58 Followers 428 FollowingDoc @DocAtCDI
58K Followers 58K Following Tweeting smiles Share them! Patreon: free longer content PG in the daylight discretion after dark https://t.co/Q2v9b1O4RS socials I'm on are all @DocAtCDIHeather Thomas @HeatherThomasAF
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93K Followers 22K Following Defense atty, former prosecutor, legal analyst for CNN, NPR, MSNBC, New York Times, Washington Post, paper calendar user, dog lover. I may eat too many donuts..Joe Newberry @JoeNewberry
37K Followers 19K Following Banjo/Guitar/Songs/Sings Recording Academy Member Be kind. People need it. You need it. JN on Patreon https://t.co/7sZ8CYArZO Photos-Jillian ClarkJohn Ales AF™️ @IAmJohnAles
83K Followers 4K Following A swarthy, sinister, yet likable villain. Dr.Fitzgibbons - PAINKILLER EuphoriaHBO Free Tacos #EndCitizensUnited #GirlDadTee(Theresa)🏳️�.. @Theresaroets911
101K Followers 51K Following Crazy Lesbian Chef. Send chocolate asap or I'm gonna lose it! My followers are like Family! Be kind always! I'm a weirdo. Resistance!Trish Hobbs Phillips @GenXEsq
30K Followers 18K Following Wife, Mom, Attorney (Ret.), Double Wahoo (UVA BA ‘87, JD ‘90). #BlueCrew ✌️💙🌊STEVE @GHOSTofSURF
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34K Followers 19K Following Slightly past middle-age Dad & Husband. Author of my pinned tweet. How 'bout them O's! Go Terps! Literary idiot. Baseball fanatic. 96% humor, 4% other stuff.Much Ado about Abby N.. @muchado33
26K Followers 12K Following I'm married to my best friend. Not responsible for damages from spitting drinks. A positively devilish ray of vulgar sunshine. I curse a lot. Agnostic & IndepenConceal Carry Vagina @CCVagina
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27K Followers 7K Following Founder, Strother Communications Group. Help companies grow. Former UMN Professor (Visiting). Masters swimmer & guitarist. Independent. #marketing #PR #ResearchThis is Signal🏴.. @signal_is
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7K Followers 3K Following Emergency Medicine-Critical Care physician with interests in mechanical ventilation, pulmonary hypertension, and critical care transport.Voyage Forever ✈ @VoyageForEver2
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49K Followers 38K Following Not your Mama’s #MarthaStewart Politics l Writing l Legal Studies l Art | Food l LoveAlfred Wallace @Al_Wallace_Esq
5K Followers 5K Following I'm against fascism. Some may even say I'm anti-fascist. Does that make me...? Pointing out the lies and propaganda from MAGA-Brand Fascists. I will #ResistGWSnarXALot...🇮�.. @GW91722505
1K Followers 1K Following Florida? WTF was I thinking? USN/HM3. Your brother from same Earth Mother. Blue isle in a sea of fascism. Liberty and JUSTICE for all. (Followed by the Fonz)The bad ass kicking n.. @atheist_bad
24K Followers 12K Following I think, juggle fire and fight bullies. Caller outter of bullshit. Don’t believe in fairytales. Fuck Brussels Sprouts - seriously. Otherwise hate sarcasm...Bailey Sarian @BaileySarian
436K Followers 247 Following • I do a thing called Murder Mystery & Makeup and Dark History over on YouTube •Cinkencer💙🌊🇺.. @cinkencer
2K Followers 3K Following Independent old hippie Christian, follows Jesus not Trump still believes love is the answer❤🌊💙🚫DMs fighting for women's rights since 72🌈samala cox🌈 @samalacox
14K Followers 14K Following #BLM, #LGBTQ 🌈 Self defined & self empowered, #strongertogether. No drama NO Toxic. DM = unfollow. 🌊🌊🌊🌊 Retweets=strong endorsement.Blue King @GreenoKingo
7K Followers 7K Following Having fun in X Enjoying life Defending human rights & choices Care 4 environment Love EVs #resist #BidenHarris. 🚫DM🚫MAGA. I am an Angel.michelle jenson @MishyLu2
2K Followers 6K Following I’m the best version of me starting...NOW😂🤣~ Be the Best You ✌🏻🤙🏻🇺🇸🇱🇹⚖️ Cowboys💙Fan, Ukraine/Zelenskyy🇺🇦 Fan ~ TRUE BLUE(D) All the Way Through⚖️❣️PuddinPowell💙💙�.. @PowellPuddin
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2K Followers 2K Following 80s metal. Animal lover. 420 fan. Stoners get stoned. We finally have a people’s President. NO DMs 💙💙KingCujoKY 🇺🇸�.. @KingCujo
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3K Followers 3K Following Veteran 🇺🇸 . Democracy . Children over guns . Ban Assault Weapons . GUILTY verdicts needed. No one is above the law. ⚖️ Duke Nation 💙 🚫DMs/MAGA/PornNikki Nova @nikki_nova
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1.4M Followers 307 Following Award winning director,writer&adult film star.Paranormal investigator/ host of https://t.co/nenEZtplfb press/manager:[email protected]Julie A. K. @JulesK24
921 Followers 2K Following LIVE HARD. LOVE A LOT. LAUGH 'TIL IT HURTS. God, Family, Friends, Neighbors, Strangers ❤️ Life w/o laughter isn't funny; Humor me.𝓝𝓪𝓷𝓬𝔂 .. @_Word_Nerd
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169K Followers 26K Following Award-winning, pro-democracy production house. Democracy is under attack. Let's fight back together! #DraftElevenFilms #DemocratsDefendWomen 🇺🇸ally jaenson👣😷 @mowbark56
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12K Followers 12K Following 💙#BlueCrew💙#StrongerTogether💙#ResistersUnite💙#WomensRightsAreHumanRights💙#EndGunViolence💙#BBBCrew💙 #TeamVermin💙 #NoDemUnder1k INTJDavid Gobrecht @gobr82549
3K Followers 3K Following 20 year retired USAF 1st Sgt. Love the US. Devout Democrat. NO MAGATS!!! Dog Lover. Nice Guy! Always a Resister!Jane Getter @janegetter
1K Followers 810 Following Guitarist, composer, singer & band leader of Jane Getter Premonition. New album & video: https://t.co/NSxwCw1N8e || New single https://t.co/5e8LaJ7iZOBlake Crouch @blakecrouch1
17K Followers 125 Following Breaker of reading slumps. Wayward Pines. Good Behavior. Recursion. Summer Frost. Upgrade. Famous. NEXT UP: Dark Matter streaming May 8 on AppleTV+Bamz¡llo @Bammb3No
3K Followers 5K Following Father of 2, Hip-Hop Junkie, Audiophile, BJJ Fanatic, InfoSec Professional. Critical thinking, anti-racist. Bully of bullies 👊🏻Louise Litzenberg @BombayLace
947 Followers 1K Following Retired Acct, reader, politically-minded, reg Independent. Sit-ins, peaceful protest/ plz NO DMs! 🚫 🌊🇺🇲🏳️🌈Otto M 🔍 | Progres.. @OttavioMCMLXI
23K Followers 21K Following Progressive Media Influence | Writing | Corp' Greed | Art | Inequality | Humanity | Social Justice | Climate | Wisdom | 🚫 Neoliberalism | Inclusion | 🌊🌊💙💙✨✨TornPocket✨�.. @RichardResists
7K Followers 7K Following #Gay🏳️🌈 #Agnostic☮️ #DEMOCRAT🫏🇺🇸 #AnimalRescue🐶 #BLM #GunControlLegislation🔫 #LGBTQI🏳️🌈 #Resistance💪 #BlueWave🌊 #Anonymous👺#WokeAF🖕🚫DM’s‼️Lady D🇺🇲 @ladydead4u2
12K Followers 13K Following You've got one second to rephrase that and perhaps say something nice about my hair.-LDP LGBTQIA🏳️🌈ALLY🏳️⚧️Rev. Robin Goldstein,.. @SchnauzerLogic
1K Followers 5K Following Multi-hyphenate. Multi-instrumentalist. Multi-cellular. Former CoS @Zoox Former Many Things @Apple #𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕤ℝ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤𝔸𝕣𝕖ℍ𝕦𝕞𝕒𝕟ℝ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤Mike @Mike71442212
33K Followers 33K Following USAF VET 69-1970:Korea,Never voted for a Republican Fan of Horror,#FBR,I don’t agree w/all I post.RESIST. I DO NOT ANSWER DMS.Vanny @thatwitchvanny
1K Followers 1K Following Twitter is just an AIM chat on steroids. If you put me on a list I will hex you. If I blocked you, you were either really annoying or a perv...@mariana057 @JerseyReaper2k That’s completely nuts! 🤦♂️😂
@mariana057 She doesn't have a bubbly personality.
From this date on you must now - - - - - - sleep with one eye open .
My wife just threw away bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I'm married to a psychopath….
@mariana057 Or a single sock from a pair. Always missing.
@mariana057 It’s gonna take a while to get past this one.
@mariana057 Unthinkable. You should move out immediately. 😂
@mariana057 @IAm_JohnPaulAF I gave a friend a whole big-ass roll of bubble wrap for her birthday.
@mariana057 WHAAAAATT???? How can you NOT pop bubble wrap????
Funny 😆
The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid… No one would be able to find it.
@mariana057 Tell my about it! I was born the day Krushev agreed to Kennedy's demands over Cuba.