Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 @TheWinegasm
Just here for the fuckery. W⚓️. Mastodon @[email protected] bluesky https://t.co/4FkLoiwFo1 twitter.com/search?q=from%… Nunya bidniss Joined June 2015-
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Judge: You're being tried for murder Crows: Your Honor, we can prove justifiable caws
Omg, you guys, the Jehovah's Witnesses just showed up at my door, and I guess I've been living alone for too long because I talked so much they finally had to excuse themselves.
Where does a mansplainer get water? From a well, actually...
my future husband is probably fake laughing at his girlfriends Iame jokes rn. be patient king, a true clown is on the way.
What did you look like in 2013? Here’s me at 33
@MadisonKittay THIS Also, people will believe you if you were attacked by a bear
THIS IS WHY WOMEN CHOOSE THE BEAR.
hot take but I feel like anyone who sleeps with that guy should be called a girth master instead of him calling himself that
Last week I got really high and tried to order a pack of 50 little plastic spiders because "its cheaper now, cus Halloween wouldn't expect it in April" but instead I ordered 50 packs of 200 and now have 10,000 little plastic spiders sitting in a box in my living room.
Of course I'd rather be in the woods with a bear instead of a man because bears are cute and fluffy and men lie.
Why would anyone ever waste their time asking genuine questions on here?
I'm a postman, and when I'm delivering a package which is obviously drugs, I just keep the drugs for myself, what are they going to do? Complain that the postman stole their drugs?
Bought a vibrating toy to spice things up in the bedroom, it turns out that it's incredible for clearing your sinuses if you hold it against your forehead for a few minutes.
No no babe, we don't turn Absolutely Fabulous.
If I somehow don’t die jacking off with a belt around my neck I hope my family lies and says I did
suddenly when i say i want a bottle of wine it’s also a euphemism for wanting to get dicked down… to the hospital
natalayhehoo @highprobably1
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12K Followers 10K Following Phone & Drone Photography 📸 - All media images my own.Judge: You're being tried for murder Crows: Your Honor, we can prove justifiable caws
Omg, you guys, the Jehovah's Witnesses just showed up at my door, and I guess I've been living alone for too long because I talked so much they finally had to excuse themselves.
Where does a mansplainer get water? From a well, actually...
@vxsjmz a true clown is hard to find, keep searching, queen.
my future husband is probably fake laughing at his girlfriends Iame jokes rn. be patient king, a true clown is on the way.
@TheWinegasm Very Cate Brunettchet! ❤️
Boss is off today so that means I’ll be driving the forklift to the strip club at lunch
Not to be judgy, but if you stink enough to need a whole body deodorant maybe what you need is a shower? 🤔
if you’ve only netflix and chilled and never blockbuster and fingerblast her then you’re too young
@MadisonKittay Waiting for all the men’s “She should have just accepted the flowers” comments.
@MadisonKittay My 12 year old literally chose the bear. If she knows that then everyone else does too.
@MadisonKittay And I guarantee you for every one of these cases, someone along the way remarked, “why couldn’t you just be nice to him once?” Sickening. We’re tired of living in fear and we’re not going to sit this November out. Thinking of daughters and granddaughter.
@MadisonKittay No one says "what were you wearing? You probably were asking for it" if you get mauled by a bear. I would also choose the bear