Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 @TheWinegasm
Just here for the fuckery. W⚓️. Mastodon @[email protected] bluesky https://t.co/4FkLoiwFo1 twitter.com/search?q=from%… Nunya bidniss Joined June 2015-
Tweets163K
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Followers44K
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Following9K
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Likes134K
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
Judge: You're being tried for murder Crows: Your Honor, we can prove justifiable caws
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Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
Omg, you guys, the Jehovah's Witnesses just showed up at my door, and I guess I've been living alone for too long because I talked so much they finally had to excuse themselves.
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
Where does a mansplainer get water? From a well, actually...
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
my future husband is probably fake laughing at his girlfriends Iame jokes rn. be patient king, a true clown is on the way.
What did you look like in 2013? Here’s me at 33
What did you look like in 2013? Here’s me at 33 https://t.co/FBAbCZS4q5
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
@MadisonKittay THIS Also, people will believe you if you were attacked by a bear
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
THIS IS WHY WOMEN CHOOSE THE BEAR.
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
Is there an actual candle involved, or do you have to eat lots of beans first?
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
hot take but I feel like anyone who sleeps with that guy should be called a girth master instead of him calling himself that
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
Last week I got really high and tried to order a pack of 50 little plastic spiders because "its cheaper now, cus Halloween wouldn't expect it in April" but instead I ordered 50 packs of 200 and now have 10,000 little plastic spiders sitting in a box in my living room.
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
Of course I'd rather be in the woods with a bear instead of a man because bears are cute and fluffy and men lie.
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
Why would anyone ever waste their time asking genuine questions on here?
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
Someone really thinks these belong in the household decorations in a thrift store. 😳😂
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
I'm a postman, and when I'm delivering a package which is obviously drugs, I just keep the drugs for myself, what are they going to do? Complain that the postman stole their drugs?
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
Bought a vibrating toy to spice things up in the bedroom, it turns out that it's incredible for clearing your sinuses if you hold it against your forehead for a few minutes.
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
No no babe, we don't turn Absolutely Fabulous.
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
If I somehow don’t die jacking off with a belt around my neck I hope my family lies and says I did
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
suddenly when i say i want a bottle of wine it’s also a euphemism for wanting to get dicked down… to the hospital
Pinot Evil ☕️🌷 retweeted
this makes me want a hot dog
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Judge: You're being tried for murder Crows: Your Honor, we can prove justifiable caws
Omg, you guys, the Jehovah's Witnesses just showed up at my door, and I guess I've been living alone for too long because I talked so much they finally had to excuse themselves.
Where does a mansplainer get water? From a well, actually...
@vxsjmz a true clown is hard to find, keep searching, queen.
my future husband is probably fake laughing at his girlfriends Iame jokes rn. be patient king, a true clown is on the way.
@TheWinegasm Very Cate Brunettchet! ❤️
Boss is off today so that means I’ll be driving the forklift to the strip club at lunch
Not to be judgy, but if you stink enough to need a whole body deodorant maybe what you need is a shower? 🤔
if you’ve only netflix and chilled and never blockbuster and fingerblast her then you’re too young
@MadisonKittay Waiting for all the men’s “She should have just accepted the flowers” comments.
@MadisonKittay My 12 year old literally chose the bear. If she knows that then everyone else does too.
@MadisonKittay And I guarantee you for every one of these cases, someone along the way remarked, “why couldn’t you just be nice to him once?” Sickening. We’re tired of living in fear and we’re not going to sit this November out. Thinking of daughters and granddaughter.
@MadisonKittay No one says "what were you wearing? You probably were asking for it" if you get mauled by a bear. I would also choose the bear
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