fawn @ISOremarkable
Boob-haver/single mother/hater of raisins/ichthyologist on alternating Wednesdays. twitter.com/search?q=from%… North Carolina, USA Joined December 2012-
Tweets15K
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Followers3K
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Following1K
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Likes108K
One the hardest parts of being in your 40s is having to looking at photos of yourself being in your 40s
You think bill collectors would be satiated with a few of the choice unsolicited dick pics I've gotten?
Joke’s on you, I like being harassed.
No, I’m not an enabler, I’m more of an unabler.
Ok, but hear me out... what if we don't have to make amateur porn because people are already looking down on us from heaven?
Asking the Home Depot employee how much spaghetti this weed wacker eats
ME: (removing my AirPods) Not guilty your honor.
[gets a little voodoo doll of myself and makes it do pushups]
sorry i’m late, i was at home sitting down
Science class, but it's just me insisting my boyfriend display how he doesn't hurt his penis when he lays on it.
I’m 36 and still haven’t gotten approval from my parents, what’s your secret Pfizer?
The Scarlett Letter...but instead of an A for adultery...it's an A for asshole and we give it to anyone without a mask. Tell them they won The Patriot Award.
"You look worried." Thanks, it's the everything.
(In an interview) "What would you say one of your strengths is?" "Well Pat, I would have to say my ability to bait my boyfriend into an argument by putting on an imperceptible amount of mascara and then yelling "AH HA LIAR!" when he comments how beautiful I am without makeup."
There is about as much courage DNA in the Republican Party as there is tuna DNA in a Subway sandwich.
God, if he/she exists, does not give a fuck about your right to own a gun or minimum wage increasing.
@VinoTica That voice has made me go all but silent on here. Do your thing. I care.
@mayaalexus @sza This is bad ass, congratulations!!
Screaming into the void: WHERE ARE MY PACKAGES
what if nipples clicked in and out like pens
Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
44K Followers 8K Following Fancy Pants raconteur I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlJcMx I know who DB Cooper is
Tony P. @Tbone7219
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Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
47K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/1tLBuSYH1g
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
23K Followers 6K Following Winner - America's Funniest People [email protected]
John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
16K Followers 8K Following This mind intentionally left blank. https://t.co/n3wD8D0ICA
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
54K Followers 47K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation.
Kanye’s bhole @bossy_bootz
39K Followers 9K Following Syrian Import ✝️ Mother of 2. Stay-at-home therapist. Recent: https://t.co/tvlKhCxxNi%
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
51K Followers 6K Following Gen Xer with opinions, observations, and a sense of humor. Loves animals more than most people. LA 📍
Trey @treydayway
46K Followers 5K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin
17K Followers 7K Following
AbbyDabbyDuh @DearAuntAbby
19K Followers 5K Following Trying to laugh through the shitshow that is my life. My tweets in link below 👇
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
101K Followers 18K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
𝐵𝓇𝑜𝒻𝑒�... @1_swarthy_dude
8K Followers 4K Following Capable of reposting what ever I want • You should try it • https://t.co/pjcbUa9OWu
Pugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug
70K Followers 15K Following writer of dumb tweets, founder of the @LuvPugFDN for homeless & disabled animals 🐾 🐾🐾Instagram: -luvpugpetcare -harrywaddlebottom -luvpugfoundation
Irsiejerm @Irsiejerm3589
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VickyJefferson @73n48O9sz7FOeS
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Leauttoo @leauttoo86810
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McShayte @MShayte65094
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Nosha @nosha52589
47 Followers 1K Following I live alone now and enjoy business, traveling, shopping, food and music. I have a calm personality and I hope we can be friends.
@AlexNevilAgain @AlexNevilAgain
820 Followers 993 Following I am Elon Musk. You don’t need to parody me. I’m obviously perfectly capable of doing it myself.
Johnson @billywaidu
1 Followers 60 Following
Earl Kindness @OEK83
333 Followers 5K Following I Love Tesla👍 Coffee_Mug/Section @ Pixverse AI-Assistant Model Video's Outreach Sublime Attributes! [email protected] .
Andrea Bridges-Smith @abridgessmith
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Jimijames @Jimijam16648179
4 Followers 73 Following
anderson kelvin @AmbrizJohnson
21 Followers 293 Following every man is a king already,you can just curve your kingdom.but the kingdom won't be sweet without a queen.that makes me think a need a soulmate in my life❤️❤❤.
Jerry Williams @JerryWi36229022
2 Followers 73 Following
Bootleg Liquor on a S... @Mike_Modulator
3K Followers 4K Following 3️⃣0️⃣2️⃣Bred 3️⃣3️⃣6️⃣Fed #FlyEaglesFly #AggiePride *blow a fuse, you lose Half-ass crews get demolished and bruised*
james5643 @james56434
422 Followers 6K Following
saiza lajabu @saiza_lajabu
626 Followers 4K Following bring back your lost lover, failure to conceive , financial problem divorce, drug addict, marriage problem over weight, bad luck,and evil spell
dedbrain @mmmdonutss
2K Followers 2K Following
Sperm Donor @dudding_jr
91 Followers 480 Following Let's not push our luck we are all fighting to be the best 💪 let me do the talking you will hear truths 🤔
BOB DELUXE @BobDeluxe
1K Followers 3K Following I pretty much like all kinds of stuff. @BobDeluxe.bsky.social
Johnicus Shushicum (c... @sjlibbmc
870 Followers 4K Following It is what it is and I yam what I yam. Google Maps influencer. https://t.co/jaUbhd5GkP
The Willo @TheWillOShow
3K Followers 3K Following Microcap trader since 2016. Mostly biotech and small mining names. Read a lot of 10-Ks, still get surprised. Not advice.
Kat Buckley @awkwardlyours
19K Followers 6K Following
✯A̷T̷O̷M̷I̷C̷... @Gelatin_Cyborg
4K Followers 2K Following All I know is that my thumbs are supple af. It/Robot/Absolute Candlestick
Halimah @halimahy
36K Followers 37K Following Animal Crossing. Bay Area Writer, Musician, artist, bookworm, sci-fi, film, tech, fitness, hiking, animal rescue, trap & release,meditation, positivity.
Karl with a K @karlpaul73
1K Followers 5K Following I woke up this morning (others haven't). I had cancer twice, yet I'm still here. Why should I complain?
Funny Tweeter @thefunnytweeter
11K Followers 4K Following If we retweet you, that means your tweet was published in https://t.co/Sjvvd3oshD. To submit a tweet, mention @thefunnytweeter
kweku @philipagon2
55 Followers 1K Following am a young talented footballer who is ready to learn and achieve great things in football⚽️⚽️⚽️⚽️
Jess @kissmydaisy
6K Followers 3K Following Always judging your tweets (they suck); @Ms_Ka_Renee my 🥄 4eva; Go finger my tl, you know you wanna...
Azeko Sambou @AzekoSambou
57 Followers 311 Following My name is aziz sambou from Gambia west africa I am 22 years I like playing with friends and humanity first before anything
The Devil ™ 🇬�... @UnderWorld_CEO
162 Followers 610 Following CEO of hell, the guy who puts those brown mushy parts on your banana. responsible for not replacing the loo roll.
moinuddin @qamaruljameel
1K Followers 4K Following
Calverton Fish Farm @FishFarmEA
2K Followers 3K Following Tweets from the EA national fish farm at Calverton, making good use of rod licence money and giving nature a helping hand.
. @____9mw
0 Followers 4K Following
Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
44K Followers 8K Following Fancy Pants raconteur I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlJcMx I know who DB Cooper is
Tony P. @Tbone7219
52K Followers 18K Following
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
47K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/1tLBuSYH1g
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
23K Followers 6K Following Winner - America's Funniest People [email protected]
John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
16K Followers 8K Following This mind intentionally left blank. https://t.co/n3wD8D0ICA
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
54K Followers 47K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation.
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
51K Followers 6K Following Gen Xer with opinions, observations, and a sense of humor. Loves animals more than most people. LA 📍
Swim Jeans 👖 @ShortSleeveSuit
19K Followers 661 Following Pilot. Mancub. Liar. 🍸🤘avi by @fro_vo / header by @marfsalvador https://t.co/6bJSdwHf8w
The Cultured Ruffian @CulturedRuffian
229K Followers 76K Following Instagram: @theculturedruffian Donut Dad Bod. Tweets are mine, videos aren't. https://t.co/hvJ5WZMGRd
Trey @treydayway
46K Followers 5K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin
17K Followers 7K Following
Wilde Thingy @wildethingy
29K Followers 2K Following I have nothing to declare except my top tweets - https://t.co/YApmhRImR4
The Dad @thedad
130K Followers 530 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
AbbyDabbyDuh @DearAuntAbby
19K Followers 5K Following Trying to laugh through the shitshow that is my life. My tweets in link below 👇
Dan Rather @DanRather
2.3M Followers 1K Following Journalist, storyteller, lifelong reader. Texan by birth and by choice. Author of STEADY: https://t.co/8kW1QUbZQJ
Aunt Chelle ☕️�... @ravenswng_
2K Followers 823 Following Disc golf flinger, bird peeper, geocacher, wife, friend, accomplished crop duster.
L i v e d @TheRealLived
6K Followers 609 Following
Rod @rodimusprime
41K Followers 926 Following ✈️ Award Winning Podcast Comedian. Writer for HBO’s Game Theory w/ Bomani Jones. The Black Guy Who Tips Podcast co-hosted with my wife @saydatagain #TBGWT
Wesley @WesleyLowery
563K Followers 10K Following Journalist | Author | Correspondent [email protected]
Pastor Ben @BenjaminPDixon
164K Followers 10K Following "The Sacred and Profane in the Same Fist." Ai corporations have us arguing over Ai sentience and slop while they use it to dominate our lives with Ai.
jon drake @DrakeGatsby
101K Followers 2K Following I only take up a little of the collapsing space. 1/2 of @blastzonepod
Christopher Ashman @CAshmanActor
10K Followers 658 Following @christopherashmanactor on instagram. I’M NEVER ON HERE NOW. This is a relic of what once was. 💀
The Willo @TheWillOShow
3K Followers 3K Following Microcap trader since 2016. Mostly biotech and small mining names. Read a lot of 10-Ks, still get surprised. Not advice.
Kat Buckley @awkwardlyours
19K Followers 6K Following
✯A̷T̷O̷M̷I̷C̷... @Gelatin_Cyborg
4K Followers 2K Following All I know is that my thumbs are supple af. It/Robot/Absolute Candlestick
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
20K Followers 4K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]
Halimah @halimahy
36K Followers 37K Following Animal Crossing. Bay Area Writer, Musician, artist, bookworm, sci-fi, film, tech, fitness, hiking, animal rescue, trap & release,meditation, positivity.
Michael Harriot @michaelharriot
460K Followers 98 Following Journalist • Author, Black AF History:The Unwhitewashed Story of America • Founder, https://t.co/50XUzwlkiv • Board-certified Wypipologist• Never reneged; Never will
Liam Fitzpatrick @LiamRossFitz
677 Followers 368 Following Statewide Communications Director @cejapower
tate @50FirstTates
33K Followers 553 Following just body after body busting out of shit wood and hittin pavement
Mayor Muriel Bowser @MayorBowser
198K Followers 752 Following Official account of the Mayor of Washington, DC. Together, let's work to give every Washingtonian a fair shot.
Akilah Hughes @AkilahObviously
214K Followers 3K Following Founding Host of ‘What a Day’ | @SundanceOrg Alum | OBVIOUSLY 📗 | Rebel Spirit from @iheartradio 🩵 | How Is This Better from @couriernewsroom 🎙️
Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker
183K Followers 5K Following Emmy-nominated writer and comedian. My book, GOOD GAME; NO REMATCH available now. Newsletter: https://t.co/9mOMgDv353 Email: mikedruckerisdead @ gmail .com
Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich
1.1M Followers 117 Following don't blame me, I voted for the email lady
ANAÏS NINJA @michikoconuts
8K Followers 3K Following michikoconuts on TikTok | KUNG FU METAPHYSICS | https://t.co/U19YxAJjdD
.Mela. @mela_shea
14K Followers 1K Following “Budget Sarah Silverman”- a troll, 2019 https://t.co/kLpEJfXBFT
pika capital @pikacap
443K Followers 540 Following i like memes and stocks | @polymarket partner | contributor at @exec_sum | trade on polymarket: https://t.co/x16kBZP2gA | 👇 sign up for the best newsletter
Jess @kissmydaisy
6K Followers 3K Following Always judging your tweets (they suck); @Ms_Ka_Renee my 🥄 4eva; Go finger my tl, you know you wanna...
Undercover Dire Wolf @UndercoverDire
872 Followers 217 Following hello. undercover account for @Addiane
Bison @FunnyBison
9K Followers 2K Following RECENT https://t.co/aqdzyZXmSu TOP https://t.co/PnBnpAFQxn
'ti Reynard @tiReynard
6K Followers 584 Following scholar, opinionated, leftist, liberal with my affections, dreamer, Faerie-blooded, naturally curious, and a bit of a moon-gazer.
TuSoon Shakur @TuSoonShakur
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♥mark magark♥ @markedly
23K Followers 320 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/him
Mowgli @Holy_Mowgli
9K Followers 995 Following header courtesy of @dave_cactus my top tweets: https://t.co/2L1ckFsMM1
dire wolf @ADDiane
29K Followers 2K Following five pounds of crazy in a two pound bag https://t.co/tvbIjt1kXf
Adam Cerious @Browtweaten
47K Followers 856 Following high speed, aggressive, non-action. also jokes. venmo: adamcerious
Stella Campbell @CampbellStella
51 Followers 277 Following BLM, ACAB, defund the police and invest in our communities. just idk, learn how to give a shit about other people’s lives?? Social work intern with @ANMH_News

















































