Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack
I can identify every single key on a piano. michaelianblack.substack.com Joined February 2009-
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You hated him the first time... get ready to hate him all over again!
You hated him the first time... get ready to hate him all over again!
...which would be totally legal if Trump wins his immunity case.
...which would be totally legal if Trump wins his immunity case.
Hüsker Dü Could You Be the One? + Interview Minneapolis, MN 1987
If you've wondered what it would sound like for somebody to read a work of classic literature out loud and comment on it as they go, here's a clip from today's episode of OBSCURE. (Although it might be just be the first 2 minutes, when no reading happens) patreon.com/posts/grasping…
I did the same thing with a drifter once. Can I be VP?
I did the same thing with a drifter once. Can I be VP?
Honestly, there have been many mornings when I've come downstairs, seen dog vomit on the carpet, and thought to myself, "I should take these fuckers out to the gravel pit."
I wrote about immunity in all its forms. open.substack.com/pub/michaelian…
One of my smarter Twitter decisions was not opining very much on Israel/Hamas. Good job, Michael.
Erica's a goddamned treat. Go see her tell her jokes!
Literally one of the least funny public figures I've ever encountered. Has no discernible sense of humor other than repackaging cruelty as "comedy."
Literally one of the least funny public figures I've ever encountered. Has no discernible sense of humor other than repackaging cruelty as "comedy."
I remember learning about American history and the need to separate ourselves from an unaccountable monarch who could do whatever he wanted because, essentially, immunity.
Ugh, it sucks when you've been indicted so many times in so many jurisdictions that you have to show up for your criminal trial instead of your absurd blanket immunity hearing.
Ugh, it sucks when you've been indicted so many times in so many jurisdictions that you have to show up for your criminal trial instead of your absurd blanket immunity hearing.
I wrote about enjoying the Trump trial, even though I think the enjoyment will be short-lived. open.substack.com/pub/michaelian…
I don't know, if you and all your friends keep getting indicted for shit, maybe the problem is you and all your friends?
A few people got mad at me for this.
If ONE white woman accused me of rape my career would be OVER. A white man accused of rape by TWENTY SIX women facing 91 criminal indictments being the presidential nominee of one of the two major parties and running for a 2nd term as POTUS, with 90% of evangelical ‘Christians’…
the "stand-up comedians over 35 who don't wanna keep posting clips" lobby is far more powerful than you could have ever imagined
the "stand-up comedians over 35 who don't wanna keep posting clips" lobby is far more powerful than you could have ever imagined
A NEW TWIST! May 16th, @RISKshow is live at @caveatnyc, where 3 RISK! storytellers will share stories on the theme “Bad Behavior!” After the intermission, we’ll pick 3 members of the audience to share their 5-minute “Bad Behavior!” stories as well! Tix at Risk-Show.com/live
LA riots were in 1992. Clearly, we didn't all get along just fine.
LA riots were in 1992. Clearly, we didn't all get along just fine.
Andy Richter @AndyRichter
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@SurfThrash @michaelianblack Clueless host: “Is it enough just to be happy here in the Twin Cities”. Bob: Uh, we tour all over the world”. 🤣
@michaelianblack OH FFS who hasnt killed a drifter? thats an American rite of passage...matter of fact, I know what im doing this weekend..
@michaelianblack I’ll never look at gravel pits the same. Thanks lady for ruining gravel pits. Sheesh.
@michaelianblack @ScriptReaderPro You betcha. (Big "Ed" fan from back in the day, BTW!)
@michaelianblack My sister’s brother knows the guy who sets the lineups
Official tweet. Bird Talk is a 2024 selection @TribecaAudio! See you in NYC this June. Thanks to the murder of crows who made this happen. @PGoodFriends @michaelianblack @aparnapkin @MaeveInAmerica tribecafilm.com/films/bird-tal…
Aww thank you Michael. I’ll never forget that you drove me around the Irvine parking lot for 2 hours to find my car! Hope you’re great.
Go Cubs. 3 shows at the Chicago theater this weekend. See u there. Tickets at Birbigs.com 🧢⚾️
Excited for @TheOnion to be officially sold and not working for the empty-headed clown of a CEO we had to work under. Here’s the reply he sent when he was told that I was leaving for a new job:
@michaelianblack Also this is a very old joke structure that 100% someone on his team suggested.
@michaelianblack "Because a nation of dingdongs keeps electing fuckwits." Truer words were never uttered.
@michaelianblack but i did everything right!
the "stand-up comedians over 35 who don't wanna keep posting clips" lobby is far more powerful than you could have ever imagined
Biden has signed the bill requiring TikTok to be sold or banned in the U.S.
That new book smell, though. #icurseyouwithjoy out May 7th.
.@MATEScast @michaelianblack This would be a perfect re-entry to the podcast.