Just a Chloe @CArmanthegirl
Please retweet my retweets, that’s what they are for Joined September 2016-
Tweets214K
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Followers41K
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Following12K
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Likes213K
Welcome to middle age. Only one nostril works
This is what presidential immunity looks like
My daughter wanted to watch a horror movie with really scary people in it .... I wanted some bacon and eggs so we compromised and went to a Waffle House
If I were running the country right now, I’d probably just throw the remote at the wall.
my kink is having no plans and being alone. by myself.
Today’s cardio was trying to wave down the server for another drink before happy hour ends
Ice cream tastes 600% better out of a helmet. It’s science.
The Beastie Boys’ ‘So What’cha Want’ -by The Muppets
Let me just butt in here as an obstetrician and say if we’re at the point of hysterectomy to treat a pregnancy complication, the patient is at high risk of dying. It is a Hail Mary
Let me just butt in here as an obstetrician and say if we’re at the point of hysterectomy to treat a pregnancy complication, the patient is at high risk of dying. It is a Hail Mary
By this logic, if a man shows up to the emergency department with testicular torsion or a penile injury, we don’t need to treat expeditiously. Who cares if he loses them, they’re just organs
By this logic, if a man shows up to the emergency department with testicular torsion or a penile injury, we don’t need to treat expeditiously. Who cares if he loses them, they’re just organs
Doctor: This patient could die without an emergency abortion! Idaho: How sure are you? We want you to make sure she's mostly dead before you do anything to help her.
*searches MacArthur Park for soggy cake…because cake is still cake
They say if you feel overwhelmed, it's important to ask for help. *Husband immediately loses the list of things I asked for help with*
No no babe, we don't turn Napoleon Dynamite.
Some old dude called me a millennial so I threw my La Croix at him
Imagine going to the E.R. after being stung by a bee or ate peanuts that you’re deathly allergic to, only to have the doctors say they can’t treat you until 90% of your throat was closed… that’s what Republicans are doing to women in Idaho that need reproductive care.
My toxic trait is that I always give people an “out” and then I’m super disappointed when they actually take it
who you are when your vibrator loses charge is the real you
Plot Twist: Twitter becomes a selfie and dancing app Oh wait, that already happened
Reoccurring dreams be like 'I dunno, here's a rerun'
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Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 14K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Ivsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
The Nostalgic @TheNostalgicCo
43K Followers 6K Following We all have stories where the contents are way better than the cover. type1diabetes celiac advocate for a cure. insulinshouldbefree
Betty Botticelli @Faungirl123
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LorazeKim ™ 🏴.. @_KimberleyAnna
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DJ @jtherapydog
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Lil Miss Snarkey Pant.. @Ris622
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439 Followers 3K Following im mfkn me 🔟AmfknC!!! MYND EyE OPEN C ME SKOPIN!!! 👽👑👽
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Dr. Jonathan N. Stea @jonathanstea
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Nadia 🦋 @WickedNadia39
2K Followers 736 Following Pretty little f*cking nightmare. You’ve been warned.This is what presidential immunity looks like
My daughter wanted to watch a horror movie with really scary people in it .... I wanted some bacon and eggs so we compromised and went to a Waffle House
I saw Carol Burnett trending and thought it was her turn with Pete Davidson.
If I were running the country right now, I’d probably just throw the remote at the wall.
When u and ur friends vibing and being the same kind of weird
my kink is having no plans and being alone. by myself.
Today’s cardio was trying to wave down the server for another drink before happy hour ends
Ice cream tastes 600% better out of a helmet. It’s science.
Doctor: your body has run out of magnesium Me: 0mg
The Beastie Boys’ ‘So What’cha Want’ -by The Muppets
Let me just butt in here as an obstetrician and say if we’re at the point of hysterectomy to treat a pregnancy complication, the patient is at high risk of dying. It is a Hail Mary
Turner, replying to Sotomayor: YES, Idaho law does say abortions are not allowed if a woman would just lose an organ but not be at risk of death.
By this logic, if a man shows up to the emergency department with testicular torsion or a penile injury, we don’t need to treat expeditiously. Who cares if he loses them, they’re just organs
Turner, replying to Sotomayor: YES, Idaho law does say abortions are not allowed if a woman would just lose an organ but not be at risk of death.
Doctor: This patient could die without an emergency abortion! Idaho: How sure are you? We want you to make sure she's mostly dead before you do anything to help her.
My daughter took the bar exam in a second state and just found out she passed. She has court at 3pm so I volunteered to stand in for her so she could go celebrate. She said, “Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t want the judge to think I’m unserious.” So anyway, I’m on my 2nd champagne.
*searches MacArthur Park for soggy cake…because cake is still cake
They say if you feel overwhelmed, it's important to ask for help. *Husband immediately loses the list of things I asked for help with*
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