em @emilyagain
former child/native new yorker/human carebear/iced coffee and donna summer stan account zoo york Joined July 2009-
Tweets7K
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Followers657
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Following395
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Likes31K
At a wedding shower earlier and one of the guests was like "I'm keto I have to bring my own snacks" and reached into her bag and pulled out...an entire stick of butter and just ate it whole in a few bites. Like a protein bar. I will realistically never unsee it.
Air Will Be Bud
you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
at this point I respect anyone who is able to incite a mass gathering of ppl in Union Square that doesn't end up in NYPD violence, good for him
at this point I respect anyone who is able to incite a mass gathering of ppl in Union Square that doesn't end up in NYPD violence, good for him
It's Pumped Up Kicks
"ugh why do you care so much about minnesota politics 😒" bc this happened and I've never gotten over it
Imagine seeing #Challengers with someone who's a tennis expert and they start deconstructing the scenes to explain the match point system instead of just doing what everyone else is doing, jerking off and being insanely horny.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, will prepare for you what Amanda says at the end.
I was working in a restaurant and the line cook was arrested for a homicide in the middle of a busy Friday night service. The cops stormed in but most of the customers were totally unbothered and barely looked up from their food 🍴
I was working in a restaurant and the line cook was arrested for a homicide in the middle of a busy Friday night service. The cops stormed in but most of the customers were totally unbothered and barely looked up from their food 🍴
Women's bodies are not controlled by the Moon. That's crazy. Women's bodies are controlled by the Supreme Court.
I am EMBARRASSED we didn't pass the John Hinckley vibe check
I am EMBARRASSED we didn't pass the John Hinckley vibe check
At the Supreme Court, lawyers debate how many organs a woman has to lose before she can be allowed an abortion to save her life. At the New York court of appeals, lawyers declare that if a man raped too many women some of them have to shut up about it, out of fairness to him.
NY State: you legally must list the salary range as a requirement when posting a job online for applicant transparency Jobs online posting their range:
Kind of glad they're banning Tiktok because every moment that I spend on NYC TikTok makes me yearn to scoop my eyeballs out of their sockets with one of those watermelon ball scoopers my great aunt had
It's so simple! Just don't make a human chain (ever) or stop to text while walking and hold people (ever), and pull over. It's actually not about how fast or slow you walk (common misconception), it's about your consideration of others in a public space.
It's so simple! Just don't make a human chain (ever) or stop to text while walking and hold people (ever), and pull over. It's actually not about how fast or slow you walk (common misconception), it's about your consideration of others in a public space.
It's called a fucking movie theatre and it already exists
It's called a fucking movie theatre and it already exists
I'm obsessed with this @vulture story cataloging every food/meal Barbra Streisand writes about in her memoir -- a good look at New York City food from a certain time, too! vulture.com/article/everyt…
Diva Down 😔, he should still go on Hot Ones then disappear forever
Diva Down 😔, he should still go on Hot Ones then disappear forever
it’s so fucking funny to report on the presidents 54 year old son like he is a freshman at Princeton
it’s so fucking funny to report on the presidents 54 year old son like he is a freshman at Princeton
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.
Mike Recine @mikerecine
36K Followers 3K Following My special is on YouTube right now and you can watch it here: https://t.co/whJKJbPPJN
Robby Slowik @RobbySlowik
20K Followers 1K Following Stand-Up Comic, TV Writer, and Podcast host just like everyone else on this website.
New York Comedy Club @nycomedyclub
14K Followers 2K Following The best stand up in NY with locations in Midtown, East Village and Stamford CT @nyccstamford
Blair Socci @blairsocci
47K Followers 943 Following My debut special out now on @veeps - https://t.co/jY8dpFvql7
The Interrobang @TheIBang
46K Followers 2K Following Finding comedy in everything. And everything in comedy. The Interrobang on Instagram.
Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.
gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coach
Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters
49K Followers 2K Following Comedian from the Tonight Show & the Late Show. Dozens of followers on TikTok.
Mike Cannon @IamMikeCannon
16K Followers 1K Following stand up | booking: [email protected] | Tour Dates | watch my comedy specials | co-host @chrissychaospod | all links 👇🏼
90 Day Fidance @ianimal69
35K Followers 2K Following CIGS // SKA // CATS // i go where eagles dare / My debut special WILD HAPPY & FREE, Bein Ian with Jordan podcast & patreon + tour dates ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Larry in Yonkers ✡�.. @LarryMCarlson
738 Followers 1K Following
Anthony DeVito @AnthonyDeVito_
8K Followers 1K Following SEE ME LIVE • WATCH ME FROM HOME ↘️↘️↘️↘️↘️
Dan Perlman @danjperlman
10K Followers 670 Following stand-up, writer, director person || co-created showtime's flatbush misdemeanors
Jake Flores 🇵🇸 @feraljokes
40K Followers 4K Following Comedian. Worker. Degenerate. @PodDamnAmerica @WhyYouMadPod @IDKYPod
Subhah @Subhah
17K Followers 2K Following Comedian. Actor. Writer. Lover. HBO, Netflix, NBC, Hulu, Comedy Central, MTV. ⬇️ 🔥ALBUM, WEB SERIES 🔥& touring ⬇️
💗Alia Janine💗 @TheAliaJanine
32K Followers 932 Following Comedian | Creator & Producer of @HardcoreComedy | Host @HowToDoDrugsPod | Self-employed | Tweets do not represent the views of my employer
gopackjo @gopackjo
2K Followers 982 Following Been to 174 Countries. Stand-up comedy fan. Married @CrystalInCLE. Old dad. #Bennington #CrackleCrackle #Tuesgay gopackjo is a fucking saint! - CPHSB 🏏🏈⚾🏀🏉
Kristy Grove @GroveKrist53814
0 Followers 5 Following
Chris Pine @Privatechrispin
18 Followers 183 Following
Margaret @margaret90bruce
177 Followers 3K Following
Aaron Nagler @AaronNagler
120K Followers 2K Following Co-founder, @cheeseheadtv. 1/2 of @motel_men. Lotta ballgame left.
Donald James @Donald_Jamess
720 Followers 5K Following showing you the fast track to building wealth before you get old. TA, charts,market analyst $10k-$50k mega trade challenge.crypto trader,portfolio manager
Sue Hunt @Trio_of_Dogs
62 Followers 771 Following
Yamil @yamilmelendez
58 Followers 223 Following
Tatyana Turner @tatyanacturner
2K Followers 1K Following NYCHA reporter @CityLimitsNews, past @chicagotribune @baltimoresun Let’s chat 📩 [email protected]
brittany.kriegstein @BKriegstein
2K Followers 872 Following Reporter @WNYC/Gothamist. 2023 Gun Violence Project. Former: @NYT @NYDailyNews. CJS ‘19. Bodega Bathrooms expert. ✉️[email protected]
Cindy @gomezcindy79
203 Followers 3K Following
Dawn Tiffany @DTiffany68657
6 Followers 77 Following
Lindsay @LGW_Lindsay
2K Followers 2K Following Advocating for child protections and rights. #CSA is an epidemic and we have a duty to protect kids. I stand with survivors of all forms of abuse.
🟦Gr8fulChik🟧 @bluegr8fulchik
15K Followers 16K Following Married 24 years/ Gun Violence Survivor 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️Ally/ Vaxxed/ Resist 🌊Vote Blue/ Reality TV Junkie/ Dead & Co/ John Mayer/ Chump/ Giggler
Carolyn Mckay @carolyn_mc66745
4 Followers 106 Following
Killfear® @KillfearNewYork
887 Followers 1K Following We Are Sports & Creativity. (As featured by @nike/@gettyimages/@hbo/@viacom/@tidal/@harpersbazzarus)
FELDRAIN II @FeldrainI73454
100 Followers 2K Following
Kev @klew24
6K Followers 2K Following 1/2 of “The Only Teams That Matter” on @UnderdogFantasy https://t.co/v7WLeQgShu
Dani Briar @DaniBriarDraws
0 Followers 17 Following
phill beamer @dave_cap7
239 Followers 1K Following
Curtis Bickly @curtisbickly
65 Followers 224 Following
ǝןqɐʇS ʎןqɐן�.. @TheRealMisterW
252 Followers 2K Following Don’t treat twitter as a place to express myself honestly—it’s theater. Photographer; comedy goer, musician, word nerd. please don’t follow me-who gives a damn?
Unicorn enthusiast @Sunframes
39 Followers 123 Following I'm not nearly as cool as I think I am. she/her
🍀Into the Wolf’s.. @boca_al_lupo
1K Followers 2K Following 30+ || They/Them || raised by wolves || artist || writer || Hazbin Brainrot King™️ || Mommy Angel Supremacy
The Thunder Ghost⚡ @ThunderGhostSD
205 Followers 665 Following 23-He/Him. Small music artist that loves games/VR, PCs, and retro games! I'm a Latter-Day Saint. (Not super active on Twitter.)
Violet Lavender Love @SlutWhoFuckedUp
3 Followers 29 Following
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Kazuoxchan @Kazuoxchan
80 Followers 560 Following
★Nicholas Joestar�.. @DragonRider206
300 Followers 1K Following He/Him || I'm a mediocre artist drawing for fun. Do NOT repost without credit. #1 Diego Brando fan JoJo csm jjk AoT Helluva/Hazbin, Theorist(?)
♧☆Zud0h☆♧ @Zudoh00
73 Followers 2K Following lvl 21 thief | she/them | woof woof | annoying af fr | I love money | I might have some 🔞 content on this account, so trend with caution
Jay @JayRainbow0_0
67 Followers 841 Following Herro, Just your normal everyday nonbinary geek who loves animals, coffee, adventures, and chaotic energy Lvl. 28 He/They Quote: Idk man. I just live here
Laura B | now on blue.. @shadylaura
141 Followers 943 Following Transwomen are women and transmen are men 💖@kooberoo 💖 she/her 29 🔞 https://t.co/yInjMEJdXb
Cloud Lion @CloudLionKingII
138 Followers 495 Following Hey I’m Cloud Lion and I’m most active in the Helluva Boss and Sonic fandoms right now but I still love ATLA/TLOK! Pfp by Andrea Petruzzi on Fiverr
Jachra 🏳️⚧�.. @Jachra
582 Followers 3K Following Fascism is a loser ideology. Trans Rights are Human Rights. BLM. she/her
CKTK @CKT_Kat
6 Followers 181 Following Just someone who got twitter cause they were forced to make an account. she/they
Jason Shaw @shawboy278
196 Followers 836 Following Software developer, movie buff, and periodically attempts to be a runner. he/him Mastodon: @[email protected]
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.
Mike Recine @mikerecine
36K Followers 3K Following My special is on YouTube right now and you can watch it here: https://t.co/whJKJbPPJN
Robby Slowik @RobbySlowik
20K Followers 1K Following Stand-Up Comic, TV Writer, and Podcast host just like everyone else on this website.
Amy Miller @amymiller
27K Followers 3K Following 💜✌️ female comedian / coastal elite white trash / not talking to you, talking to your dog / never not touching my head
Blair Socci @blairsocci
47K Followers 943 Following My debut special out now on @veeps - https://t.co/jY8dpFvql7
Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
106K Followers 6K Following Comedian / Emmy-Nominated & WGA Award-Winning Writer / Seen on After Midnight, Conan, Corden / NYT Best Selling Author / "Cis Woke Grief Sl*t" out now.
gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coach
Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters
49K Followers 2K Following Comedian from the Tonight Show & the Late Show. Dozens of followers on TikTok.
Mike Cannon @IamMikeCannon
16K Followers 1K Following stand up | booking: [email protected] | Tour Dates | watch my comedy specials | co-host @chrissychaospod | all links 👇🏼
90 Day Fidance @ianimal69
35K Followers 2K Following CIGS // SKA // CATS // i go where eagles dare / My debut special WILD HAPPY & FREE, Bein Ian with Jordan podcast & patreon + tour dates ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Anthony DeVito @AnthonyDeVito_
8K Followers 1K Following SEE ME LIVE • WATCH ME FROM HOME ↘️↘️↘️↘️↘️
Dan Perlman @danjperlman
10K Followers 670 Following stand-up, writer, director person || co-created showtime's flatbush misdemeanors
Jake Flores 🇵🇸 @feraljokes
40K Followers 4K Following Comedian. Worker. Degenerate. @PodDamnAmerica @WhyYouMadPod @IDKYPod
ashley ray🍦ice cre.. @theashleyray
64K Followers 3K Following tv writer/comedian/host of @tvisaypod. [email protected] reps: brillstein
Subhah @Subhah
17K Followers 2K Following Comedian. Actor. Writer. Lover. HBO, Netflix, NBC, Hulu, Comedy Central, MTV. ⬇️ 🔥ALBUM, WEB SERIES 🔥& touring ⬇️
💗Alia Janine💗 @TheAliaJanine
32K Followers 932 Following Comedian | Creator & Producer of @HardcoreComedy | Host @HowToDoDrugsPod | Self-employed | Tweets do not represent the views of my employer
gopackjo @gopackjo
2K Followers 982 Following Been to 174 Countries. Stand-up comedy fan. Married @CrystalInCLE. Old dad. #Bennington #CrackleCrackle #Tuesgay gopackjo is a fucking saint! - CPHSB 🏏🏈⚾🏀🏉
ProPublica @propublica
934K Followers 679 Following Pursuing stories with moral force Send us things: https://t.co/mbPBrKq9nN Newsletter: https://t.co/mGR9bzZXr1 Masto: https://t.co/L1E2InEHhO TikTok: https://t.co/YaqiYCJD6L
Aaron Nagler @AaronNagler
120K Followers 2K Following Co-founder, @cheeseheadtv. 1/2 of @motel_men. Lotta ballgame left.
jourdain searles @judysquirrels
47K Followers 2K Following comedian & critic • bylines @thr @okayplayer @vulture @bitchmedia @indiewire @ebertvoices @refinery29 @reverse_shot • film programmer • [email protected]
Dr. Raven the Science.. @ravenscimaven
158K Followers 25 Following Raven Baxter, Ph.D. ✨ Molecular biologist, science educator. Director @TheScienceHaven. Views are my own. 1908. [email protected]
Olayemi Olurin @msolurin
161K Followers 4K Following 🇧🇸🇳🇬Movement Lawyer + Political Commentator. subscribe to Olurinatti on YouTube and substack
Tatyana Turner @tatyanacturner
2K Followers 1K Following NYCHA reporter @CityLimitsNews, past @chicagotribune @baltimoresun Let’s chat 📩 [email protected]
Nick Garber @nick_garber
4K Followers 3K Following Politics reporter @CrainsNewYork | proud @NYC_Patch alum | Tips: [email protected], or DM for Signal | Walker, straphanger, native New Yorker
brittany.kriegstein @BKriegstein
2K Followers 872 Following Reporter @WNYC/Gothamist. 2023 Gun Violence Project. Former: @NYT @NYDailyNews. CJS ‘19. Bodega Bathrooms expert. ✉️[email protected]
Jeff Coltin @JCColtin
35K Followers 3K Following NYC political reporter with @PoliticoNY, co-authoring New York Playbook. 🌵➡️🗽 Used to be at @CityandStateNY
Clayton Guse @ClaytonGuse
7K Followers 2K Following Assistant editor @wnyc + @gothamist // prev: @nydailynews. It's pronounced GOOZ-uh, damn it. Send me cool maps. [email protected]
Mike Scollins @mikescollins
34K Followers 1K Following From Marshfield MA. Writer for Late Night with Seth Meyers. Love horror movies. Usually have to pee. He/Him
🟦Gr8fulChik🟧 @bluegr8fulchik
15K Followers 16K Following Married 24 years/ Gun Violence Survivor 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️Ally/ Vaxxed/ Resist 🌊Vote Blue/ Reality TV Junkie/ Dead & Co/ John Mayer/ Chump/ Giggler
Killfear® @KillfearNewYork
887 Followers 1K Following We Are Sports & Creativity. (As featured by @nike/@gettyimages/@hbo/@viacom/@tidal/@harpersbazzarus)
Kev @klew24
6K Followers 2K Following 1/2 of “The Only Teams That Matter” on @UnderdogFantasy https://t.co/v7WLeQgShu
Science girl @gunsnrosesgirl3
2.2M Followers 6K Following science in context, art history and some puzzles to solve
David Brand @DavidFBrand
14K Followers 2K Following Covering housing for @WNYC @Gothamist | [email protected] | Past: @CityLimitsNews, @QueensEagle, @CityWatchWBAI & before that, a Licensed Social Worker
Jon Stewart @jonstewart
1.7M Followers 2 Following
fetch thee bolt cutte.. @_rachaelrachael
224 Followers 2K Following When I was little I dreamed about getting a MacArthur grant for my zine about how all the girls at school were bitches. She/her.
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Chris Sommerfeldt @C_Sommerfeldt
9K Followers 2K Following @NYDailyNews City Hall reporter + proud @NYDNUnion member. Have a tip or some hate mail yearning to breathe free? DM or reach me at [email protected]
J. Maurice @Cagedbeing1
893 Followers 2K Following Ex prisoner. Ex journo. Ex Vassar. Go to therapy & drink kombucha & eat fried chicken.
Chris Feliz 🇩🇴 @ChrisFeliz_
12K Followers 8K Following Film | Urban | Portrait | Fashion | Sports Cars | Aerial
Gwynne Hogan @GwynneFitz
12K Followers 3K Following Reporter covering Brooklyn for @THECITYNY. Past lives at @wnyc/ @gothamist, DNAinfo NY. @newmarkjschool alum - DMs open. Email: [email protected]
pop culture gal @allurequinn
45K Followers 19K Following follow for pop culture content and commentary. i love music, films and fashion. she/her.
Bob Henault @bhenault
559 Followers 3K Following @directorsguild Director @ABC - Previously @CNN @ABCWorldNews @UMassAmherst
Pop Crave @PopCrave
1.7M Followers 4K Following Feeding your pop culture cravings since 2015. Inquiries: [email protected]
PBS NewsHour @NewsHour
1.2M Followers 84K Following PBS NewsHour is one of the most trusted news programs on TV and online.
Nick Pinto @macfathom
12K Followers 6K Following Co-founder @HellGateNY. Also @NYTMag @VillageVoice @TheIntercept @NewRepublic @CJR @RollingStone @WSJ @Gothamist @Vice. On the other site as nickpinto@
Crimes (Lil' Teefa') @Red_Town_Carl
342 Followers 346 Following He/They, all thoughts r canned hams Buy Habachi Lamars book FormrAbolition hr Podcst , IWOC, chrnic p ptsd, MO Joovie lead supafund survivr,
Max Folkman @maxfolkmax
2K Followers 956 Following Writer, Director w/ @nickfolkman • Now @riotgames • Prev: Spider-Man 2, R & C: Rift Apart, Miles Morales • @scriptlockcast voice • @[email protected]
Mikey Cacio e Pepe @MikeyCacioePepe
16 Followers 48 Following Elon got rid of circles so this is my new circles
Cameron Tabatabaie @CTabatabaie
6K Followers 4K Following Writer for @TheCelticsWire & USA Today SMG 📝 Host of the @CelticsLab podcast 🎧 High school history teacher ✏️
luisa 🇵🇸 @luisadieznuts
7K Followers 2K Following anthropologist | arts & media worker | @whyyoumadpod | representing no person or institution but myself 🎈
Mrs. Met @mrsmet
25K Followers 67 Following Official Twitter page of the @Mets mascot, Mrs. Met! #LGM
David Imposter Wallac.. @SpicyDaddy8
181 Followers 263 Following fuck cops and fuck you if you like cops
Museum of the City of.. @MuseumofCityNY
43K Followers 2K Following Telling New York City’s stories since 1923. Open: Mon, Thurs, Fri 10am-5pm, Sat-Sun 10am-6pm. #MCNY100
Lynda hates GOP thugs @IvanasStairCam
75K Followers 47K Following Livid Introvert. Democracy Warrior. Creative INFJ. Animal Advocate. Forgotten Gen Xer. There is no Planet B.
Aditya Sood @adityasood
8K Followers 2K Following Produced: The Martian, Deadpool(s), Orient Express, Cocaine Bear & Spider-Verse 2. Now: Project Hail Mary, Spider-Verse 3 & more at Lord Miller.
Will Berson @will_berson
3K Followers 5K Following Writer-Producer: "Judas and the Black Messiah," "Sea Oak," "Untitled Johns Hopkins Project (with David Milch)," "Scrubs." https://t.co/TnaIj0MgdWI actively avoid anything about Mr. Beast. The only thing I've ever watched of his was a well digging one in Africa. Otherwise I don't wanna know about him. There's something about his face I don't like. But dude is everywhere. I don't know how I do it. 🙅🏾♂️
7 tickets to see Challengers please
I’ll be damned if my son ever asks to go hunting. Get back in that room and don’t come out until you’re fucking gay
Fellas if any of you want to take a date to Cotta I will make you look like the fucking man
shes kinda like a jason derulo variant
the end???? LMFAOOOOOOO
A History of New York Through Some of NYC’s Best Restaurants (this resource is a treasure trove for local history buffs) grubstreet.com/article/best-n…
Bringing back some memorable side characters as the series finale approaches
Russian mercenaries are in "hot pursuit" of the notorious warlord Joseph Kony, after a bloody near-capture in a remote corner of the Central African Republic earlier this month, sources tell Rolling Stone. rollingstone.com/politics/polit…
people have been saying “music was just better when i was young” for as long as there’s been music and they’re still failing to realise the pattern
seeing how much the quality of pop music has declined since the 2000s-2010s is honestly crazy
Hello from America's most ominous sign
Why would you pay 1k for a reservation at Carbone when you can just slip the host a $100 and let them find one for you
Me destroying the family computer with Limewire…
Brooklyn: There are some tickets left for my 5pm show at @UnionHallNY, but way fewer than I expected! eventbrite.com/e/josh-gondelm…
"ugh why do you care so much about minnesota politics 😒" bc this happened and I've never gotten over it
there's only one thing that brought these three people together..
Jack Nicholson, Carrie Fisher & Rick James sometime in the 80’s
Times are tough and Hulk Hogan has resorted to operating a food truck “Halal, Brother”
I don’t know how much more magic my life can handle.
For all of you wondering “Gee I never thought Drew Carey would pop his wig at a Phish show at the Sphere” here’s what my car looks like haha
Can we crowdfund a way to stop this?
Aaron Sorkin is writing a movie about January 6. Described as a quasi-sequel to ‘The Social Network’ that follows the rise of misinformation-for-profit online that may have led to January 6. (Source: @MattBelloni)
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