Humor For The Hopeless @PatheticLoserAB
Even my imaginary friends think I'm an asshole. Wish to be completely anonymous. U wouldn't want to know me anyway. #Humor #Comedy #Jokes #Funny stjude.org/donate/donate-… Please click on the link below and help the children. We all make the world the way that it is. Joined December 2017-
Tweets21K
-
Followers17K
-
Following17K
-
Likes80K
He who once survived on tips always becomes a good tipper. They know how tough it is out there.
I could never survive in the wilderness. Where do you even hunt for a hoagie?
So what's the story? Are eggs good for you now?
You can only tweet for so long before you run out if ideas. 😔
I'm not completely useless. I can always be used as a bad example.
Both my kids are losers but I can't hold it against them. Half their genes came from me. Plus my wife's an asshole too. So what chance did they really have?
What do you feel was the biggest lie they told us in the last 3 years? #Government
Young people are so fuckin stupid. They think there's hope.
Question: How can a funeral home raise prices citing cost of living? @PatheticLoserAB
A more complete list of Hershey’s Products: Part 1 •Almond Joy •Dagoba Organic Chocolate •Dream •5th Avenue •Heath bar •Hershey bar •Hershey's Drops •Hershey's Extra Dark •Hershey's Kisses •Hershey's Miniatures •Hershey's Special Dark
A more complete list of Hershey’s Products: Part 1 •Almond Joy •Dagoba Organic Chocolate •Dream •5th Avenue •Heath bar •Hershey bar •Hershey's Drops •Hershey's Extra Dark •Hershey's Kisses •Hershey's Miniatures •Hershey's Special Dark
Everything always goes wrong for me. It's been that way my whole life. I should just give up. Like today for example. I just found out I didn't get the job I wanted as a motivational speaker. 😔 #NeverTry
Dude. The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get the fuck away from me.
I miss my Auntie she was a firecracker I use to visit her at the nursing home Me Auntie you have to eat Auntie Why Me So you can gain some weight Auntie I already got a big ass and a man You eat it you need it more than me
A blond and a brunette decided they wanted to kill themselves. So at the same time they both leaped off a 50 story building. Who hit the ground first? A: The brunette. (The blond has to stop and ask for directions on the way down. )😅
Jump out of a plane or bungee jump?
Everytime I go to kiss my grandmother goodbye...she sticks her touge in my mouth. I hate when she does that.
Bob Golen @BobGolen
33K Followers 23K Following Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).karanbir singh 🫶 @karanbirtinna
29K Followers 3K Following The next person to make a stereotype Indian joke is getting beaten to death by my snake charming flute!Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following📚 Talk To The Hatt.. @Talk_To_The_Hat
27K Followers 24K Following #Empath Memes and pics, not mine. Progressive straight He/Him. Nerdy and Flirty. Weird, broken, but kind. DMs open. 21+ https://t.co/PrUEDIUZXI…Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgersʍíՏԵɾҽՏՏ օƒ.. @iamanutcase101
4K Followers 4K Following just laugh. it's free. and it's good for the soul. 🖤 a little bit of everythingBenny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrctThe B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 14K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, InfernoAlfie @DownFrontArtist
54K Followers 48K Following There is no show without business. https://t.co/X2EN341vnkPinky 💋 @Pinky81949548
7K Followers 5K Following I'm easy to get along w/. So If You Don't Like Me. It's Bc I Don't Want You To 🤷. #RealityTvJunkie #Dyslexic #ADHD #MartialArtsLifer #3rd🥋🥋🥋Forward March @RunOldMan
35K Followers 16K Following Disabled Army Veteran, Bills Mafia, Mental Health Matters, Laughter is the best medicine 🇺🇸🇵🇷 Boricua https://t.co/LpPIFl6lcu…Barry BeNiceButNotSic.. @barryjohnharper
10K Followers 8K Following English accent - please adjust your inner dialogue. Atheist, but fine by me if you believe in fairytales. Peace ✌ https://t.co/kWKnRGy10o🇵🇷🇵🇷ReadA.. @ReadAndShade
9K Followers 5K Following Lover of Reality TV! #BravoTV, #RHOM, #RHOP, #RHOA, #RHOSLC, #CarlosKingShows, No politics, IG: readandshadecrabs made me black @LOV3JONES31
5K Followers 4K Following I'll Give It To YOU Straight, No Chaser!😎 Most things Bravo. Shit Talker, Fact Speaker, Funny Woman, and Real Tea Spiller. Cash App Me $Lov3Mayo34C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
57K Followers 50K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time AssholeM a r c o @AstorStaff
10K Followers 6K Following Mamma Mia pizzeria!!! A stranger with many hobbies: languages, books, dogs, hiking, skiing, gym, generally speaking I'm adventurer ✨🇮🇹Darla @ddsmidt
38K Followers 13K Following I don't take any of this nonsense too seriously. Here's some links to my tweets: https://t.co/GSnadPOMASReta Coffman @Retacof
15K Followers 13K Following golf, bicycle, kayak. socially liberal...women's rights advocate. miss wheat harvest 1958 https://t.co/i2raBGqzYw http://Jose Echevarria @Goyarhbag
154 Followers 2K FollowingAspyn Bane @AspynBane
11 Followers 57 Following Learning the ropes of Narcissistic Abuse Recovery, one damn day at a time. #narcissistabuserecoveryHoney Bee 🐝 @BDeeBBeezy
60 Followers 411 Following Please be aware that I do not claim credit for all of the content on my account. If you would like the source/s please feel free to DM me. Get that knowledge.JaeSwift @JaeSwift
2K Followers 3K Following I am a Top 10 producer on SoundClick & Beatstars. If you're a rapper or singer hit me up lets work!Amelia Lee (Promo Cha.. @EricaBo18055196
151 Followers 2K Following 💎More Fans Agency (Free Trials) 🎸Get Promoted in 2023 🎯Soundcloud, Spotify, Instagram Submit Your Tracks for Free ➡️ https://t.co/CYIDbbMwWSgonefishin🗣🙏�.. @me_n_bobert
334 Followers 1K Following 🗣🇺🇸🇺🇲Real Patriot, Gold miner, Mother, Grandmother.340 @Qi340X
175 Followers 922 Followingfindom Ella Isabella @Findombec
91 Followers 179 Following Irish! Live to drain 💸 don't bother coming to my DMS unless you want to know my payment details! New to twitter but old to the game (was using Snapchat)Jajabynx @jajabynx23
432 Followers 1K Following UK 🇬🇧 do as your told and you may be rewarded 😏 Telegram @jajabynx https://t.co/VUeJdcIIFc (OF for Age verification)Attaporn @Kamburom
447 Followers 2K FollowingJavonni Hernandez @Javonni4250
82 Followers 401 Followingkuntychops @kuntychops43194
180 Followers 321 Following hater of the government, the BBC. religion is for idiots, tits are amazing...I'm just a grumpy old kunt...ajit singh @ajitsitar
4K Followers 3K Following Sitar Player from Varanasi-India , lives in France . where he performs , gives music workshops ,classes , music yoga * online concert at-:https://t.co/B7HLXuVPKqIsmith @HossainJam85853
250 Followers 1K FollowingKimberleyTent @kimberleytent
7K Followers 7K Following Writer. Poet. Retired 👮♀️.Owner of Apothic Entertainment Books. Lover of family, travelling, music &fashion.Wears a wooden Crown and scuffed up cowboy boots.Allie Hamilton @AllieHamiltonCa
9 Followers 13 Following heart belongs to @NoahCal65304670 💕 The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connectedThis is Why We Can't .. @IdiotsMorons
100 Followers 354 Following Examples of people ruining things for the rest of us....KitKatvlogs @KKatvlogs
324 Followers 759 Following hey I'm KitKat vlogs have a YT channel with the same name,had @kathieann19 but wanted to start fresh I am an Avon Lady https://t.co/q2uMsBEGuOlawrencetagliar @LawrenceTaglia1
570 Followers 560 Following bass player for the meat shredders bandKanamynLogic @KanamynLogic
2K Followers 4K Following "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you." -- "Person Of Interest"psychic medium christ.. @psychicEagle
184 Followers 617 Following 🦅Eagle Medicine-No BS Spiritual Psychic Medium 😇5D Ascension Guide💜Trauma Informed Soul Healer3🕉Life Purpose & Psychic Gifts Activator🔮 Ally BOOK👇Userunkiwn @LucyHarris29266
1 Followers 14 FollowingMai Hồng Hà @fairywoodworm
4 Followers 348 FollowingChristieCountryGirl20.. @ChristieCo36402
24 Followers 386 Following Mama of 5 beautiful children Gracie Delaney River Kinnze our angel baby Mera we love living in the country have my own studio I Love My FamilyLaurie, yeah I'm a ge.. @LaurieMachia
1K Followers 2K Following 💙💙Living my best life! I'm grateful for my family, good friends, & good health! I love animals!🐾🐾🚫Racism. NO DM, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED!🌊🌊🌊🌊🇺🇸🇺🇦🏳️🌈Mukhtar Khan @neurokhanm
788 Followers 456 Following Neurosurgeon; Researcher; Father; #Neurotrauma #GlobalSurg #GlobalNeurosurgerybktweet @kraazeetweets
247 Followers 830 FollowingLIZZI CHILDREN'S HOME @Muwangu53234565
647 Followers 5K Following L.C.H is an NGO with a mission of bring hope & healing to the needy and hopeless children through the love of God and we also empower children & build futures.David Scarff @David_Scarff
19 Followers 46 FollowingPluto @10centimos
81 Followers 35 FollowingPerfectly Broken... @BogusMalarkey
2K Followers 2K Following #Colts #Pacers #Marvel #DC Love intelligent conversation. let’s bring back open communication. 🤟🏾AlexB @MrAlexKidd
15K Followers 16K Following Writer 📜 Sui Generis (English Edition) https://t.co/jpESYqEhIC (Amazon) https://t.co/hjztmj4b7g (Play Books)Potstrum @potstrum
4K Followers 5K Following I Am A Gun Owning, Bible Believing, Sinner. FAFO. If You Promote Gayism In Any Form, DON'T FOLLOW ME! I Never Chat... No Tollerance For IDOITS!silver blessing❤️ @SylvesterC89072
46 Followers 278 Following always ready for anything 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀Belljack @Belljack165
169 Followers 319 Following ~Married and very blessed~ Working my swing & day trades. Stocks I'm currently working are TPET, KTRA ,CISS and I'm really long on HCMC (not financial advice)K @Whowaa
13K Followers 6K Following Cannabis Chthonic ,Professional Bro Scientist, Rosin Rookie,🍄,PTSD Proud,TBI , 📥 Open .👀 Not My Views Or Opinions #MarsMade #NP4P @Cannabissml 💚Golla Dinesh Karthik .. @rayalasee
6 Followers 108 FollowingMason Wright @MasonWr02827328
11 Followers 11 Following|only exposure| @petty_thinking
86 Followers 324 Following Working hard to heal everyday. Here to say all of the things on our minds. Dark cottage core. ✨Dark humor. ✨Divination. Mom to chaos goblins. Happily married.Bob Golen @BobGolen
33K Followers 23K Following Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).karanbir singh 🫶 @karanbirtinna
29K Followers 3K Following The next person to make a stereotype Indian joke is getting beaten to death by my snake charming flute!Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following📚 Talk To The Hatt.. @Talk_To_The_Hat
27K Followers 24K Following #Empath Memes and pics, not mine. Progressive straight He/Him. Nerdy and Flirty. Weird, broken, but kind. DMs open. 21+ https://t.co/PrUEDIUZXI…Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgersʍíՏԵɾҽՏՏ օƒ.. @iamanutcase101
4K Followers 4K Following just laugh. it's free. and it's good for the soul. 🖤 a little bit of everythingBenny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrctBoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVThe B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 14K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, InfernoAlfie @DownFrontArtist
54K Followers 48K Following There is no show without business. https://t.co/X2EN341vnkPinky 💋 @Pinky81949548
7K Followers 5K Following I'm easy to get along w/. So If You Don't Like Me. It's Bc I Don't Want You To 🤷. #RealityTvJunkie #Dyslexic #ADHD #MartialArtsLifer #3rd🥋🥋🥋Forward March @RunOldMan
35K Followers 16K Following Disabled Army Veteran, Bills Mafia, Mental Health Matters, Laughter is the best medicine 🇺🇸🇵🇷 Boricua https://t.co/LpPIFl6lcu…Acidic Blonde™️ @Acidic_Blonde
21K Followers 600 Following I was smarter than the average blonde. Then I joined Twitter.Barry BeNiceButNotSic.. @barryjohnharper
10K Followers 8K Following English accent - please adjust your inner dialogue. Atheist, but fine by me if you believe in fairytales. Peace ✌ https://t.co/kWKnRGy10o🇵🇷🇵🇷ReadA.. @ReadAndShade
9K Followers 5K Following Lover of Reality TV! #BravoTV, #RHOM, #RHOP, #RHOA, #RHOSLC, #CarlosKingShows, No politics, IG: readandshadecrabs made me black @LOV3JONES31
5K Followers 4K Following I'll Give It To YOU Straight, No Chaser!😎 Most things Bravo. Shit Talker, Fact Speaker, Funny Woman, and Real Tea Spiller. Cash App Me $Lov3Mayo34C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
57K Followers 50K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time AssholeM a r c o @AstorStaff
10K Followers 6K Following Mamma Mia pizzeria!!! A stranger with many hobbies: languages, books, dogs, hiking, skiing, gym, generally speaking I'm adventurer ✨🇮🇹Toockunk Ager @AgerGhost
19 Followers 210 FollowingAllie Hamilton @AllieHamiltonCa
9 Followers 13 Following heart belongs to @NoahCal65304670 💕 The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connectedYara Adam @Red_Classics
20 Followers 236 FollowingSophie FG @sophiefg1
10 Followers 124 Following Wife, proud mom, my kids' voice, optimist. Honored to be working with one of Canada’s Top Women Wealth Advisors in Mississauga! #CanadaTopAdvisorsThe Punisher! @TooBigForYou12
6K Followers 6K Following 100% Follow Back. Red Sox are life! Dog lover! Love to joke around! Most of what I say is complete bullshit. Parody account. Humor account.mountainman333 @smokeymccheefo
2K Followers 3K Following “When are you going to pick up your end of the couch?”libertarian“Uva uvam vivendo varia fit”https://t.co/fR4brwcteP🩵Lilian Kilan (min.. @MoonKitty1104
5K Followers 5K Following Certified conspiracy theorist. Wannabe Catholic apologist✝️ More anti-war than your momma 😎 #proudweeb, #molonlabe⭐️, #feralhousewife, #frenchswiss🇨🇭Kajet @Kajet_seifert
95 Followers 1K Following He/Him, Gamer and furry, despite people who make give both groups a bad name. 18+ only, minors will be blocked. Age: 40Andrea Glass @arglass1961
66 Followers 214 Following “Getting born in the state of Mississippi... Loves are: education, history, philosophy, exercise science, nature and laughter.Jungle Carbine @JungleCarbine
546 Followers 1K Following Not a joiner. Proud ally of the LGBFJB community. Experts, trusted sources and fact checkers agree with me. Let's go, Brandon.Piazza Gustavianika @Antics_Master
143 Followers 304 Following A sincerely hapless failed poet. | None more than a charlatan. | Better than Schopenhauer. • A pseudo-personal archive of various works.Logan McKenna @NattyDaddy_12
286 Followers 1K Following Cook, Flooring Installer, Work hard Play hard. Travel. Sports. Boston Strong.OrganizedVibes @OrganizedVibes
196 Followers 234 Following Go Patriots, Bruins, Red Sox, Celtics !! FREESTYLE FOR EVA !! let me give you the facts here. I know that can be inconvenient, but I think they’re important .Evan Meade @MeadeEvan
3K Followers 3K Following Liverpool FC supporter, Munster and Ireland rugby, Limerick Hurling. Nothing 2 serious just plenty of banter. @LFC @JFT96 @Munsterrugby #FSGoutbfg9000 @bfggrimm
712 Followers 375 Followingj.j. @jj23486465
995 Followers 2K Following I am a Oakland Raiders fan, horror fan, and fast fuckin cars 😈, Wrestling fan, and a comic book nerd 🤙🏽𝕂𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕨�.. @karababy4224
9K Followers 2K Following amateur hole digger. texan. mil-spouse. redhead. little spoon. degenerate. munchkin.Princess Summerland @p_summerland
444 Followers 235 FollowingJohn Lee @3JV_Productions
1K Followers 4K Following Writer. Academy Nicholls Fellowship semi-finalist. Photographer, musician and producer - not a fan of sleep. https://t.co/Ra5gWbsEuMPrincess Consuela Ban.. @iluvtacos0822
96K Followers 2K Following I’m a wife/mom and my love language is Weiner dogs, coffee, food, video games and sports. Green eyes that will haunt you. https://t.co/WqHdn2i3z5Politik de Elon @PolitikDeElon
431 Followers 838 Following the struggle is real. Excusez mon français, provocateurMatthew @dionisius556
30 Followers 300 Following Hipster Jackass North American scum my handle is the Greek God of Wine I shoulda learned to play the guitar I shoulda learned to play them drumsjason.j.jasonson @jasonjasonsons_
300 Followers 198 Following i use this account to show my dick titties to people. look at my fucking tittyballs and shut up. alt for @jasonjasonsonsCharlie @Charlie79314889
1 Followers 4 Followinggaryfixesstuff🟧 @garyfixstuff
4K Followers 5K Following I like funny, and beauty, inside and out. be kind. I like weird, dark and sexy, speak your mind, if you see funny here, spread the smile, someone needs itMike D'Arrigo @Mandolinwind08
488 Followers 366 Following Man Cannot Discover New Oceans if He's Afraid to Lose Sight of the Shore. Music and sailing are my passions in life.Firson Lobo @FirsonLobo
6 Followers 22 Followingyrprettiestprblm @im_yrnotionofme
381 Followers 5K Following 계속 변하는 바다의 파도처럼.. 하지만 그 파도는 끝없는 바다의 물과 하나가 된다. 끝없는 바다도 ‘허무’ 같죠? ‘허무’에서 태어나서 다시 ‘허무’로 돌아온다.. 아니면 그 사랑이 넘쳐나는 바다일 수도 있고..🐇 Hendrika 🐇 @Hendrika_dC
4K Followers 1K Following Pink is not just a color, it's an attitude! Ek's net hier om die plek deurmekaar te laat lyk. Happily married to @derekdeclercq 💜😘༄Nͥᴇᴍᴇsͣɪs.. @wiwiedsuharyadi
752 Followers 631 Following Forgiveness is not always good and revenge is not always bad.Emperor Ivor of Fento.. @Fentonian2
5K Followers 5K Following If you are not prepared to use force to defend civilization, then be prepared to accept barbarism. Thomas SowellKit Karlsson is Back,.. @KitKarlsson
3K Followers 3K Following 👹Fantasy writer. ⚖️Corporate law Student. 🌞&🌙 Leo. 👓INTJ. 🐉Secretly a dragon.🐉 ***Wanderer of the Wastes coming in 2024 from Lake Country Press!***Hyapatia Lee @HyapatiaLee
63K Followers 49K Following Cherokee Blessed Woman & author of the NATIVE STRENGTH books & host of the NATIVE STRENGTH TV show on Alternative mental health care.Matt @McMacaque
478 Followers 806 Following Treasurer to my own personal piece of wilderness carried in my heart. Anti beige. The safe word is bananaGemotac @justyn_matlock
451 Followers 895 Following Pronouns: He/Him Centrist Anti-Terf. Now, more than ever, Solidarity with Israel #jewishlivesmatter #transrightsarehumanrights #AmYisraelChai #RIPDoctorWhoあやめ @Jennife55299349
33 Followers 208 FollowingIn-House marketing ag.. @Fortunatos13
404 Followers 32 Following Agency with the best business promotion results. Tired of boring marketing? So are we. Let us spice up your brand and make it sizzle online. #marketingthatpopsPamela Loewy @psloewy
48 Followers 94 Following Romantic suspense writer. Editor. Cynic. Romantic. Could be from another planet.Cheryl Rick Klein @CherylTKlein
1K Followers 1K Following Over 11 million views writing about Narcissists on Quora and FB. Former Hashtag Game Princess. Cat lover 😻😻😻Alex @alexander_d_gr8
395 Followers 297 Following Follow me... not so close, you're breathing on my neck. Back up a bit... ok.Gigs @gigyjoes
495 Followers 132 Following I wish i knew then what i know now and i wish i didn't know now what i didn't know thenWakeyWakey @DischordCode
681 Followers 1K Following@PatheticLoserAB @Osbournegreen Our Immune System will fight IT too 😉👍🏽
@PatheticLoserAB Who cares? They are delicious.
@PatheticLoserAB True, however former servers are also hard to please because the goods one know how it should be. Sooooooo there’s that too😂😂 basically if you get a bad tip from a former server you or should probably do some self reflection.
@PatheticLoserAB I think eggs are great for you : -Offer Complete Protein -Nutrient Dense -Help Your 'Good' Cholesterol. -Can Lower Your Triglycerides -Can Lower Your Odds of a Stroke. -Help With Portion Control. -They're Affordable ($4 to $5 dozen) -Heart Healthy.
@PatheticLoserAB They've always been. I remember my father saying (in the 70's) that if he only ate what's "good for him" he'd be eating only celery. Moderation.
@PatheticLoserAB They have always been good
@PatheticLoserAB Hey, I'm just glad they're not $6 a dozen anymore. 👍🥚
@PatheticLoserAB My mum told me, “You can be anything you want to be in life son” So I decided to be a disappointment.
@PatheticLoserAB Don’t hold back now, tell us how you really feel lol