DrunkBobRoss @john_c_roth
My heart is unbearably happy, but sad for those who don't feel the same way. https://t.co/RiMKhVpvaR Colorado Joined March 2011-
Tweets115K
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Followers5K
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Following5K
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Likes166K
DrunkBobRoss retweeted
I'm the go-to guy at work now for knowing who the artist is on the radio. "HEY HARLEY, WHO SINGS THIS?" This is Perfect Way by Scritti Politti. "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT?"
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DrunkBobRoss retweeted
"One second, I need to perform system maintenance," Spock replied from the couch, removing an electromechanical eyeball by tapping a pattern lightly on one eyebrow, polishing its lens with windex & a tissue, & pushing it back into place, before continuing the conversation.
DrunkBobRoss retweeted
Omg, you guys, the Jehovah's Witnesses just showed up at my door, and I guess I've been living alone for too long because I talked so much they finally had to excuse themselves.
DrunkBobRoss retweeted
when they said "why," i said "why not," and that has always made all the difference.
Booger King, home of the hopper.
I actually read the vanity cards after each @itsChuckLorre production, much to the annoyance of more than one ex-wife.
I’d rather have a root canal done than watch The Office. And I am deathly afraid of dentists.
Day drinking is the adult version of lying on your back and looking at clouds.
This is a really tough one. On the one hand, I love Whoppers. On the other hand…
This is a really tough one. On the one hand, I love Whoppers. On the other hand…
Any house pet vomiting at any time...
Any house pet vomiting at any time...
YES
My wife's career would rocket upwards. Just sayin'...
My wife's career would rocket upwards. Just sayin'...
MORE DIRT MEANS BETTER FILTERING
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I'm the go-to guy at work now for knowing who the artist is on the radio. "HEY HARLEY, WHO SINGS THIS?" This is Perfect Way by Scritti Politti. "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT?"
"One second, I need to perform system maintenance," Spock replied from the couch, removing an electromechanical eyeball by tapping a pattern lightly on one eyebrow, polishing its lens with windex & a tissue, & pushing it back into place, before continuing the conversation.
She doesn’t wanna be called a snake—but a serpent, cause she’s clasSsy. She’s also had enough w all the negative metaphors. She’s gentle & sSsensSsitive.
Omg, you guys, the Jehovah's Witnesses just showed up at my door, and I guess I've been living alone for too long because I talked so much they finally had to excuse themselves.
when they said "why," i said "why not," and that has always made all the difference.
@john_c_roth Thanks for the follow, Drunkbob!!
You people disappoint me endlessly. Burger King? Ayfkm?
Shoutout to the porn bots for always liking my tweets.
From now on I'm adding chilli flakes to every BBQ sauce I own.
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Imagine looking so pathetic it ruins your wife's career.
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