Functionally Feral @FeralFerrell
born dead and chasing that high ever since. steal my stuff if it keeps you warm. using “I’m wearing mittens” as an excuse since 1989. do not perceive me. Twitter.com/search/from:@F… Insta: drunktionallyferal Joined January 2014-
Tweets98K
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Functionally Feral retweeted
Adele has to sleep in her own private bed because she be rolling in the sleep. I know this is terrible. Lay off.
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Functionally Feral retweeted
I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.
Functionally Feral retweeted
who you are when you talk to your pet is the real you
Functionally Feral retweeted
I'm sorry I never text first. It's basically because I don't actually want to talk to you at all.
Functionally Feral retweeted
I hope this email finds you- Waldo: *slams laptop shut* holy fuck that was close
Functionally Feral retweeted
From the bottom of my heart, get fucked.
Functionally Feral retweeted
Every day that I don’t befriend a crow is a day I fumbled.
Functionally Feral retweeted
If I make a cake out of nothing… is it an immaculate confection?
Functionally Feral retweeted
I suppose the best thing about losing our democracy will be the resulting comedy gold. That and all earnest folk singers being rounded up
Functionally Feral retweeted
Gordon Ramsay: this tastes like dogshit Rebecca Fly: *taking a second bite* and the presentation is lovely
Functionally Feral retweeted
I share my vulnerabilities so you feel safe to share yours
Functionally Feral retweeted
[ At the gym ] Gym bro: can you spot me? Me (pointing at him): there you are!
Functionally Feral retweeted
and then one day adult beverages means metamucil and pepto bismol
Functionally Feral retweeted
If you told me ten years ago, the republican nominee for President has a mugshot for a profile picture on his Twitter account. I wouldn't have believed you.
Functionally Feral retweeted
I am Sears years old
Functionally Feral retweeted
gonna disappear into a deep, dark forest with the wolves and bears and mosquitoes
Functionally Feral retweeted
It’s almost as if these people don’t think we’re smart enough to notice that we no longer can afford to eat.
Functionally Feral retweeted
Pretzels are just bread sticks doing yoga.. No you shut up!
Functionally Feral retweeted
Still think the idea of a Trojan horse is stupid but I guess if the balloon animal guy wants to use condoms, whatever.
Functionally Feral retweeted
she’s a broken little melody. me, a mix of misfit fumbled words. together, i have never heard a song quite so beautiful. she and i, we dance along in the shadows all alone, never looking back toward the echoes of bells that can’t be unrung. we just weave their hum into our music.
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Adele has to sleep in her own private bed because she be rolling in the sleep. I know this is terrible. Lay off.
I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.
who you are when you talk to your pet is the real you
I'm sorry I never text first. It's basically because I don't actually want to talk to you at all.
I hope this email finds you- Waldo: *slams laptop shut* holy fuck that was close
Every day that I don’t befriend a crow is a day I fumbled.
If I make a cake out of nothing… is it an immaculate confection?
I suppose the best thing about losing our democracy will be the resulting comedy gold. That and all earnest folk singers being rounded up
Gordon Ramsay: this tastes like dogshit Rebecca Fly: *taking a second bite* and the presentation is lovely
I share my vulnerabilities so you feel safe to share yours
[ At the gym ] Gym bro: can you spot me? Me (pointing at him): there you are!
and then one day adult beverages means metamucil and pepto bismol
If you told me ten years ago, the republican nominee for President has a mugshot for a profile picture on his Twitter account. I wouldn't have believed you.
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