Canadian Tiger @AddictedToNaps
• I listen to @toehider • @Q_the_Cat is my nap partner • I just farted on @MyLastChance8's pillow ⛔🚫No DMs 🚫⛔ twitter.com/search?q=from%… GTA Joined March 2009-
Tweets56K
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Followers16K
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Following10K
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Likes80K
Canadian Tiger retweeted
For those interested, I've started a Patreon where I'll be spewing forth my artistic stream of consciousness, talking about dumb ideas I'll never finish and all sorts of stuff. It's only a couple bucks, less than half a coffee a month! - patreon.com/ArtBySalt #Patreon
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I was flattered when the guy at the pizza place said I had a beautiful smile. That is until I got home and saw that my pizza was overcooked.
Canadian Tiger retweeted
G'day Europe, Toehider will be playing some shows with the incredible @ClosureInMoscow in a few weeks! Grab tickets from Toehider.com/shows
Me: *asleep* My brain at two-thirty: You know what?
Canadian Tiger retweeted
I sprinkle compliments everywhere I go.
Canadian Tiger retweeted
As you prepare for the cosmic show today, it's a perfect time to illuminate your home safety. 🌑🏠 CHECK and TEST your smoke and carbon monoxide alarms. Be safe, stay safe! #SolarEclipse #HomeSafety 🌞🌚 #Mississauga
Ordered groceries from @WalmartCanada and found the bread under cans and margarine containers. I guess common sense isn't a hiring requirement.
Canadian Tiger retweeted
Prepping for Monday's eclipse.
I just bought a blanket so soft that I'm thinking of calling in sick and spending the whole day naked on it.
Me, at murder trial: "But your honour, he stopped snoring after that!"
Canadian Tiger retweeted
I put my microphone in front of a 7 week old baby red squirrel.
Why do they call it scissoring and not "bumping pretties"?
Canadian Tiger retweeted
bloody hell what happened to this place
Canadian Tiger retweeted
Exactly at the halfway point of our latest 12 EPs in 12 months adventure, behold the magnificent TOAD HIRER toehider.bandcamp.com/album/xii-in-x…
You don't know how long I've been searching for the perfect sex-toy-egg-incubator-apiary.
Why do they call it a blind date and not mystery meat?
Canadian Tiger retweeted
Recall: Lolanta Children’s Hooded Flannel Bathrobes recalled due to flammability hazard Immediately stop using the recalled product, destroy the garment and contact Lolanta for a full refund. Find out more at: bit.ly/49wwTeH .
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57K Followers 6K Following Welcome to Ts FunHouse Im Not VERIFIED, but I am 💯 🫧 #FannyPacksRule😘 #SunRiseWatcher 🌞☀️ #CloudChaser🌥️ @SmileTurn1 is BubblyT’s Good Girl Side😏NO DMs
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I thought this was a klans meeting
@AddictedToNaps My desktop, microwave, cell, stove and alarm clocks all have different times.
@BryceShelton01 Remember the Tornado has right of way
If you’re in eastern Nebraska or western Iowa, get the fuck off of the roads. Tornadoes look cool until that fucker is tossing a semi right at your windshield. #nebraskaspringtime #Tornado
@AddictedToNaps I didn't like when the then new girl took my order for a pizza over the phone and put Dawn for Don on the bill when I went to pick it up. She must have worked at Starbucks. And my pizza wasn't well done enough.
For those interested, I've started a Patreon where I'll be spewing forth my artistic stream of consciousness, talking about dumb ideas I'll never finish and all sorts of stuff. It's only a couple bucks, less than half a coffee a month! - patreon.com/ArtBySalt #Patreon
@AddictedToNaps That’s a step! Thinking about time is a good start to being on time
I will extend my lifespan by a few decades just to let this specific @toehider album grow on me more, I just love what he did to make this open.spotify.com/album/4ZkyDmYL…
Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad”
G'day Europe, Toehider will be playing some shows with the incredible @ClosureInMoscow in a few weeks! Grab tickets from Toehider.com/shows
@AddictedToNaps I had that at about that very time this morning!
@AddictedToNaps Do you think of it as 2:30 at night or 2:30 in the morning?
New lid for the kid 👨🚒 #GoSensGo
As you prepare for the cosmic show today, it's a perfect time to illuminate your home safety. 🌑🏠 CHECK and TEST your smoke and carbon monoxide alarms. Be safe, stay safe! #SolarEclipse #HomeSafety 🌞🌚 #Mississauga
@AddictedToNaps Put heavier stuff on top so less chance of lighter stuff falling out of bags or boxes
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