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Millions of people have been hounding me, begging for a one-minute snippet of our country cover of "Welcome to the Black Parade." Okay fine here it is
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People in Brooklyn going NUTS as a USPS truck drives by
Sage Boggs retweeted
This sounds crazy but the entire zoom call we were like this ?? What are the odds!!!
(Me, 20 minutes into my first social gathering after the pandemic) I want to go home
I like how we still end letters with “sincerely.” As if the whole time someone’s reading a letter they’re like “wait a second... do they really mean this...”
Sage Boggs retweeted
*drinking Canada Dry* more like Canada Wet
The star spangled banner is technically one long yes or no question so when it ends I always say “yes” under my breath
Sage Boggs retweeted
Miss you all
(Me, looking at stocks) ah yes. I understand what this means
Ugh I miss getting to float through the air as my nose follows the scent of a freshly baked pie sitting on a nearby windowsill
katy perry: do you ever feel like a plastic bag me then: lol no me now: damn maybe
Everyone has opinions all the time and it is exhausting
I know Twitter is corroding my brain and destroying my attention span but at least I’m constantly sad
me: how are y— every person i talk to: I make bread now. Here’s a pic. That’s my bread. I made it
I’ve been wearing the same shirt for two weeks so this is a nice change of pace. Thanks @breakingtco
Patrick Monahan @pattymo
150K Followers 1K Following cannot stress enough that I am not the Train guy | cohost, @whatatimepod | IG: pattymo | contact: pattymo at pattymo dot com
mike ginn @shutupmikeginn
209K Followers 1K Following
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad
122K Followers 1K Following book: WELL, THIS IS EXHAUSTING | sex columnist: @Bustle & @gqmagazine | newsletter: HERE'S THE THING | she/her
dan mentos @DanMentos
88K Followers 652 Following
Napcore Influencer @SortaBad
62K Followers 797 Following @sortaokaytbh if we are pals. Solana + Metis + Avax ecosystem maxi
Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
91K Followers 3K Following Writer for hire, formerly of @insidejob, @FallonTonight, and one time for an aftershow about sharks
Brian Gaar @briangaar
80K Followers 2K Following Finally a bearded white dude in comedy. https://t.co/z1EDZmqdBo Bluesky: https://t.co/XkLVhTtCfv
Cullen Crawford @HelloCullen
45K Followers 2K Following husband to nine father to a beautiful Christian marine son to a wife father (all that matters) marine to a beautiful son comedy writer but TO WHAT END?!
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
audrey farnsworth @audipenny
43K Followers 853 Following writer. @audipenny on IG / important newsletter @ https://t.co/bZaZufPQ3K / comics at @scaretownusa
slick @dlicj
33K Followers 352 Following
Ralph @us_kylie92674
110 Followers 2K Following I am a lively and cheerful girl who would like to meet a good friend.
Stephanie Hughes @stephanie_h
3K Followers 3K Following Senior Reporter @Marketplace, focusing on education. Alum @BloombergRadio @wypr881FM. Let's talk: [email protected]
Jo Miller @jomiller_jo
526 Followers 374 Following UX Design Lead @WorldMobileTeam 🌍 Interested in design for positive change English 🇬🇧 / 🇩🇪 Deutsch
Aaron Kassraie @a_ronn
290 Followers 576 Following Writer for https://t.co/kmpBxuyOuv — Views are my own
Sarah Rumpf 🇺🇸�.. @rumpfshaker
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Sure Rants-Alot @voxrob
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Leila Dagher @leiladagherPhD
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Hank Rearden @HankRearden666
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Bart Williams @WtheCoach
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snipe ★☆☆☆☆.. @snipeyhead
39K Followers 18K Following CEO of Grokability, lead dev @snipeitapp. #FOSS #infosec #appsec. Fuck Phony Stark. 🐘: @[email protected] 🌎: https://t.co/mmLDifOkdw 🌎: https://t.co/8JU0jeMmKM
Debangsu Kumar Sinha @Debangsu4U
87 Followers 456 Following
Andre Ferdiansah @AndreFerdi0965
75 Followers 469 Following
Earl The Elf @ElfnamedEarl
102 Followers 346 Following My name is Earl. I work in the North Pole and harass the Kringles and Blitzen, but vacation in Alabama and use my magic in support of the Auburn Tigers!
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
RD @zenuniverse0306
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Heather Lowrie @LowrieHeather
41 Followers 208 Following Real Estate Agent w/KW Southwest Genuinely loving the process, simplifying the transactions, problem solving, and communicating every step of the way.
MikeB @M_Bauldree
1K Followers 5K Following pro Democracy and critical thinking, so hated by MAGA. vote blue - black lives actually DO matter - viva 🇺🇦 !
Canadia @canadaslady2
9K Followers 2K Following
Kurt C. 🌽🥩🥔�.. @FarminKurty
761 Followers 2K Following Husband. Dad x2. Pioneer Sales Rep. Owner of Ag Force LLC. Iowa State proud! My views. M.S. Agronomy. 1.618
BoobsRadley @ScoutLaroo
144K Followers 3K Following Delightfully profane. Boobs ( • )( • ) are fun. If you don't like baseball and college football, we can't be friends.
Tom Holmer🍭🍫�.. @tom_holmer
210 Followers 375 Following Small business owner. Three (soon to be four) Rocket Fizz locations. Uncle Buddy’s Toy Stash. “A salary is the drug they give you to forget your dreams.”
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150K Followers 1K Following cannot stress enough that I am not the Train guy | cohost, @whatatimepod | IG: pattymo | contact: pattymo at pattymo dot com
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Sophia Benoit @1followernodad
122K Followers 1K Following book: WELL, THIS IS EXHAUSTING | sex columnist: @Bustle & @gqmagazine | newsletter: HERE'S THE THING | she/her
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45K Followers 2K Following husband to nine father to a beautiful Christian marine son to a wife father (all that matters) marine to a beautiful son comedy writer but TO WHAT END?!
FRO VO @fro_vo
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slick @dlicj
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Mike Hanford @MikeHanford
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Brandon B yeah you kn.. @BurkhartBrandon
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brooks allison @brooksallison_
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Hanif Abdurraqib @NifMuhammad
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Brian Flaherty @mrbrianflaherty
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3K Followers 701 Following Nitro Girls at the Magnet Theater, Bellow on @of_rude, and GM of @ohthesethose
Geoffrey Haggerty @geoffhaggerty
3K Followers 726 Following A little bit about me, I like to go to the store and cross the street
James Urbaniak @JamesUrbaniak
110K Followers 3K Following Dr. Venture on The Venture Bros., Grant on Review, Arthur on Difficult People, Rolf on The Office. References available upon request.
Zach Cherry @zachcherrygmail
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Dave Sirus @DaveSirus
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Lucy Prebble @lucyprebblish
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Bec Shaw @Brocklesnitch
64K Followers 8K Following a gay writer if you can believe it. yes I have a podcast. email me [email protected]
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Perry Sachs @perrysachs
415 Followers 561 Following Writer / Producer / Director / Composer / Human Person -- SNL, Happy Madison, Warner Bros., Stupidface, Jim Henson Co., other shit too.
Dan O'Keefe @djok_er
2K Followers 2K Following TV writer/producer: #Veep, #SiliconValleyHBO, #TheLeagueFX, #DrewCareyShow, #Seinfeld, #etc.
Julia Claire @ohJuliatweets
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W. Kamau Bell @wkamaubell
373K Followers 1K Following “1000% Me: Growing Up Mixed” is streaming on MAX.
Tommy wants his mommy @hot_regards
319 Followers 820 Following Off The Air: https://t.co/R2nIETMqsM *Adult Swim SMALLS: https://t.co/XMLR573WRJ *YT Channel: https://t.co/HTXBJDL7tc *GIPHY: @hot_regards
Ben Kronengold @benkgold
1K Followers 762 Following writer lad at the Tonight Show. 📘 for @harpercollins w/ @rebeccabshaw. opinions are your own
Rebecca Shaw @RebeccaBShaw
1K Followers 708 Following great with parents. I write for @fallontonight but mainly I fight for @waxpaulnow. NAKED IN THE RIDESHARE is out now from @harpercollins
Keisha Zollar @keishaz
7K Followers 2K Following Astronomy Club The Sketch Show, on Netflix suckas. Susan Shepard on @tooningout #totn. Typos are my love language. @wga (I ❤️to troll @Andykimy) she/her
josie duffy rice @jduffyrice
124K Followers 3K Following tv/print/podcasts on prisons and prosecution. dogmatic on content, agnostic on form. lawyer-ish. former president @theappeal. (email me again, i just forgot)
Maureen Kuhl @maureen_kuhl
397 Followers 947 Following Writer, Director and Future Soccer Mom. The supreme decider of all things #Kuhl or #NotKuhl.
Mark Kramer @kramerkram
2K Followers 897 Following 🇵🇭🇺🇲 writer @lastweektonight // only here for the Jalen Brunson clips
Lily Du, 杜莉丽 @LilyD
31K Followers 1K Following 🐍 Comedian, host of @DirtyLaundryDO 🐍 Prev: CollegeHumor, UCBTNY 🐍 https://t.co/nThZyLZWVz🐍
Naomi Ekperigin @Blacktress
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Dewayne Perkins @DewaynePerkins
44K Followers 1K Following THE BLACKENING in theaters and on demand. Emmy-Nominated Comedian. 2x Grammy, Oscar, Nobel Peace Prize, BAFTA. Martin Scorsese’s ghostwriter. I have a stutter
Gus Danger Johnson @Gusbuckets
418K Followers 892 Following
liz maupin @LizMaupin
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Tim Kalpakis @TimKalpakis
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Ben Marshall @notbenmarshall
125K Followers 1K Following please don't destroy and @nbcsnl // https://t.co/MQQ3RwJ2vo
danielle weisberg for.. @danielleweisber
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Triumph® ᴛʜᴇ ɪ.. @TriumphICDHQ
83K Followers 96 Following Official thing of long-named Conan staple & host of "Let's Make A Poop" podcast plus "Election Watch" specials on Hulu. It/it. Self-important musings marked RS
Dan Klein @dankyklein
5K Followers 560 Following #ManThinkers, Co-host of @biblebrospod, TV writer (Miracle Workers, Search Party, AP Bio, Great News, Wet Hot American Summer)
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626 Followers 1K Following TV writer (Strahan, Sara & Keke on ABC, formerly @fallontonight on NBC, some other stuff). Opinions are my own, especially the really good ones.
Seth Herzog @Thezog
12K Followers 1K Following I like to "move it- move it" Host of The @Sweetestpod & The @Sweet_Show Sometimes seen on TV, Film & Stage Opinions from ice tea bottle tops
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434 Followers 555 Following TV Writer (Full Frontal with Samantha Bee, The Late Late Show with James Corden)
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166K Followers 5K Following Author person. Has abandoned this ship. Find me elsewhere.
Senator Meow @SenatorMeow
4K Followers 624 Following He's the cat who won't cop out when there's danger all about. Plundie Nominee 2018. An idiosyncratic Twitter personality (Ohio Capital Journal).
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Ronan Farrow @RonanFarrow
1.1M Followers 5K Following Pulitzer-winning investigative journo @newyorker. Documentaries @hbo. Ex-diplomat. Bad lawyer. Disused PhD. Tips: [email protected].
I'm a little suspicious of the new maid they just hired for the White House
This Christmas Eve, let us sing the world a song of peace.
due to the pandemic “following up” is currently suspended. if you try to “circle back" with me i will call the police
✨ ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas ✨ 👎 2020 Edition 👎 #FallonMono #FallonTonight
(ever)More Taylor Swift albums this year?! ‘Tis the damn season. #FallonMono #FallonTonight
I am so honored to have won the R. L. Stine Creative Writing Award for the third year in a row. The award is given annually to an author named R. L. Stine.
Now he can play the piano?! 🎹 We get it, @ChrisEvans. #FallonTonight
BREAKING: Biden-Harris administration installs safety railing at site of infamous Jason Derulo fall
@sageboggs @kritterart that usps driver:
i 💜 new york
People in Brooklyn going NUTS as a USPS truck drives by
ok this actually got me x.com/sageboggs/stat…
People in Brooklyn going NUTS as a USPS truck drives by
It’s really hitting right now me how many people have fucking died of COVID, of lack of healthcare, of violence, of racism, and on and on because we’ve managed to make “giving a shit about other people” a political question
I'm looking for a new job, so here's a video that shows what it's like to be in a Zoom meeting with me. I'm a trans comedy writer and content producer. You've heard about trans people in the news, why not hire one? Writing samples: drive.google.com/file/d/17G2Nbt… Email in bio!!
Future historians: don't try to be cute and give some lofty name to this time period like The Turmoil Years, we want it to be called the dogshit 20’s
every Fashion Instagram page looking like: 👩🏽👩🏿👩🏾 ⬛️👩🏼👩🏼 👩🏼👩🏼👩🏼 👩🏼👩🏼👩🏼 👩🏼👩🏼👩🏼 👩🏻👩🏼👩🏼 👩🏼👩🏼👩🏼 👩🏼👩🏼👩🏼 👩🏼👩🏼👩🏼 👩🏼👩🏻👩🏼 👩🏼👩🏼👩🏼 👩🏼👩🏼👩🏼 👩🏼👩🏼👩🏼
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