Chad Opitz @chadopitz
Stand up comic by night/protecting Rick Moranis also by night Instagram: @chadopitz chadopitz.com Los Angeles, CA Joined April 2011-
Tweets26K
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Followers17K
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Following15K
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Likes75K
Met someone who didn't like The movie Kingpin and I'm pretty shaken up about it
*the band Night Ranger calling a motel* 🎶 Motor Inn, 🎶 What’s your price per night? 🎶 It’s not on your website. 🎶 Wait, I see it now, alright.
I'm on a show at Offbeat Bar in Highland Park LA tonight with Rachel Bloom, Dulce Sloan and Arden Myrin at 8 PM. You should go.
Places that charge more than $3 for a cup of coffee aren't seeing Heaven
Best tweets of the month, April edition: x.com/chadopitz/stat…
Best tweets of the month, April edition: x.com/chadopitz/stat…
Bob Hoskins on losing Al Capone in The Untouchables to DeNiro: ‘I got a $200,000 cheque in the post & a note: ‘Thanks for your time, love Brian DePalma’. I rang him & said ‘Brian, listen, you got any other films you don’t want me to be in, babe, I’m there for you!’
If I just had to pick a favorite Dario Argento movie, I'm going with Phenomena. It's so entertaining and I love the score/soundtrack and Swiss countryside setting in scenes and the last 20 minutes are just insane in the best ways
Mental illness is at a high right now. Possibly because in the 90s so many women said "You so crazy, I wanna have yo' baby"
It's been plenty of years and they still haven't managed to Kill Tony? Honestly, a little embarrassing
In Jerry Seinfeld's new Netflix movie there's a Pop Tart that won't stop saying the N-word
In Los Angeles it seems like red traffic lights are merely suggestions
Seinfeld's take on woke culture destroying comedy is pretty old. In fact, I'd say it's about 17 years old.
The 2024 "Thirsties" Awards has nominated me in the category of "Best Thirstie from Someone with Back and Shoulder Hair"
Amy Miller @amymiller
27K Followers 3K Following 💜✌️ female comedian / coastal elite white trash / not talking to you, talking to your dog / never not touching my headJohnny Taylor, Jr. @hipsterocracy
129K Followers 109K Following “Bummin’ With the Devil” available on @tubi now! Comedian, Actor, Writer for @realpunknews. Co-host of the AEW-some Pod (link in bio).Jesse Fernandez @JesseFernandez
78K Followers 56K Following Instructs comedy @Google | Wrote for award-winning #Newsbroke on @ajplus, TED Talks, @OnionGamers, @WordsWFriends game showChris Estrada: Ontari.. @ChrisEstrada85
12K Followers 2K Following Stand-up Comic / Star & Co-Creator of @thisfoolhulu / https://t.co/vbztYeLh78 / My Don't Tell Comedy set in the link below.Alex Hooper @HooperHairPuff
13K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Weirdo. Eccentric Socialite. America's Got Talent. Comedy Central. Ellen. Dirty Briefs Podcast.e e bustings @jessethehett
2K Followers 970 Following CEO of Microsoft. Philanthropist, futurist, visionarySam Weber @areacomedian
15K Followers 12K Following a man of stone with a funny bone of steel. 3rd funniest in Santa Cruz 2019, 2nd 2021 -@GoodTimesSC, 'comic on the move' -@SCSentinel, a 'fine fellow' -my momMatthew Levy @MattLevy51
14K Followers 14K Following Stand up comic. Sketch maker. Newsletter writer. Married to @annaphilomena. Crouton appreciator. Writes profiles. Check Medium link below and DM if interested.Ngaio Bealum @ngaio420
26K Followers 7K Following The Dank Diplomat. Cannabis expert on #cookingonhigh. Comedian, writer, juggler, musician, parent, activist, great cook. Hard beats and soft drugs. Oon-Guy-Yo.Paco Romane - First o.. @pacoromane
3K Followers 4K Following Comedian/Actor Seen On @ComedyCentral @NBC @HBO Podcast @SupDocPodcast Voice of @PandoraMusic SAG-AFTRA @jetalentArielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
57K Followers 50K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time AssholeJT Habersaat @jtstandup
3K Followers 172 Following This place blows now. Find me @jtcustomtoys on Instagram for regular posts and updates. 🙌Greg Edwards @GregtheGrouch
7K Followers 2K Following Comedy Central/Thug Notes Ridiculousness/MTV/ENTWeekly/BET/ Tavis Smiley/ NYTimes/ Comedian/Actor/Artist https://t.co/lFXCfLvAEDLarry The Kabul Guy @Dauood_Naimyar
802 Followers 384 Following Upcoming Shows & Tell Me Where to Perform Link ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️Frankie Quinones @FrankieQuinones
9K Followers 989 Following LOVE & Laughter. AKA #CholoFitCreeper 💪🏽• “Luis” on @ThisFoolHulu • “What We Do In The Shadows” on FX • The Walking Dead: “The Ones Who Live” on AMC.🙏🏽⬇️speech impediment man @Impediment43143
83 Followers 847 FollowingMila Patterson @PattersonMmm
10 Followers 74 Following From styling tips to wanderlust-worthy destinations, let's embark on this journey together!Marc Zammit @zammit_marc
390K Followers 298K Following Director🎬 | Producer 🎥| Actor 🎭 CEO Skylark Vision. @HomelessAshes -@WitchMovie1 - Unravel - Jitters. Latest backer for JITTERS follow @JayKillXRPSabha Ganai MD PhD MP.. @DrSabha
3K Followers 4K Following Assoc Prof | Dir Surg Educ | Surgical Oncologist | Ethicist | MS-27 #humanrights #HPB #GI @UNDSMHS @HarvardChanSPH @macleanethics @AmColSurgCancerHellish Jay @ThaRealJRob
189 Followers 1K Following Hellish Jay From Ellijay/They must have amnesia/They forgot that I’m him/Garfield enjoyer/My friends call me “Loc Dogg”แตน สาว�.. @arechimich28797
7 Followers 143 FollowingRick Logan @rickloganhaha
2K Followers 3K Following Comedian, Actor, Writer, Speaker, Trainer. He/HimDemocracy's Anger Tra.. @LostMyDisguise
7K Followers 7K Following Business owner. Electronics engineer. Married (26y) Lived in Thailand (13y) ⚛️ 🐶 🎞 📚🍷• 🏳️🌈 ally • Democrat • ⚠️ Tweets are involuntary. #NulliusInVerbaPamela Ross @PamNotAnderson
5K Followers 912 Following writer, comedian, girl from that sketch you likedHummingbird lover @humming_club
6K Followers 2K Following Welcome to @humming_club Follow us if you relly love hamming bird.Eddy Dantès @EddyDantesLOL
638 Followers 300 Following Laugh In The Morning. Laugh In The Evening. Laugh If All Else Fails. #ComedyJoeDatBoi @Joe_DatFunny
12 Followers 396 FollowingROCKY @bigtimerocky
935 Followers 2K FollowingFull Cast and Crew Po.. @fullcastandcrew
4K Followers 1K Following Gold check mystery. Film & TV podcast for the head and the heart. Instagram @fullcastandcrew Latest Ep: "Fear is the mind-killer..."Alan Smithee🎥🎬�.. @RyanGChandler1
772 Followers 1K Following Filmmaker - Film & Television Archivist - Film distribution and exhibition. I work hard to help you watch Movies and TV shows…You’re welcome!DJ Dream @DJDream
2K Followers 4K Following Official Twitter Profile. Producer. Musician. Freelance ninja. Proud zombie expert. Communicator. Student. Creator. Co-Founder of https://t.co/gHyssF0m4JNature is Nurture @MarcelloWStenic
275 Followers 696 Following I'm naive man that comes out into the world after spending 35 years in a nuclear fallout shelter.Danny Schluck @dannyschluck
79 Followers 526 Following made a movie called The Day After Halloween. Please watch itCarl Martin @kalleqken
39 Followers 172 FollowingSteve @SCappy44
118 Followers 1K Following I mostly take pictures of my TV and make shitty jokes about themGareth Edwards @gareth_ed
21 Followers 124 FollowingShifty @houseSittin
1K Followers 3K Following Putting a conscious effort into trying to sound like someone who would understand something.JeffandElf @JeffandElf
156 Followers 852 FollowingBrian Gallo @realguysmia
195 Followers 192 Following Real Guys LTD - Bitcoin Maximum Overdrive - Inventor of Markets - Breaker of Chains - Christ is King - AR 15ist - Glock 19ist - Miami - El Salvador - Sparta.Doug 🇺🇸❤🇺�.. @D1GGDUGG
593 Followers 1K Following If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month- T. RooseveltNeil @Neil_RPh
191 Followers 972 FollowingKool G Raptor @Brandonwrldpce
578 Followers 1K Following AWL Bills Mafia, Raptors, Jays, Leafs I guess, Norm Macdonald, RIP Pat Stay.JavokHetfield @javokhetfield
1K Followers 3K Following Lovable jerk. Always a bad 1st impression. I am a very good bad example.Dan Rorabaugh @RorabaughDan
918 Followers 4K Following Ally. Advocate. Love is love. Read books, ban Republicans. Diversity is our strength. Health care and housing are human rights. Abortion is health care.John Dann @JohnDann2320
7 Followers 29 Followingpankhurst:2022 @2021Pankhurst
18 Followers 68 FollowingKing Of The Bastards�.. @kingbastardo
122 Followers 625 Following My goal is to drive drunk in every American state.runningbear2013 @runningbear2013
3 Followers 342 FollowingJohn Lehman @vinylmeningitis
54 Followers 366 FollowingNick Harrahill @harrahill_nick
40 Followers 1K FollowingTT @bringntheruckus
340 Followers 4K Following You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave. Former blue check.Christy Ward ✨ @ChristyWard3
1K Followers 3K Following Mostly dormant account until new ownership creates something less hateful/toxic. Find me on Bluesky (@wardchristy3.bksy.social) or Insta (@wardchristy4).Brian Sieman @BSieman
9K Followers 452 Following Television Announcer, Los Angeles Clippers - I talk about grown men who play basketball, a lot. I like sneakers, tacos, and unboxing videos. Jayhawk.GATITO D'BODEGA @WVRBVX
66 Followers 1K FollowingSawney Bean Soup @kalsotanukihak1
60 Followers 71 FollowingA @ayoachis
51 Followers 5K FollowingDB @vegansteakhouse
129 Followers 853 FollowingJono @whoinvitedjon
5K Followers 5K Following I work hard, and I play hard. Wait - I actually just work a regular amount and I don't really play that much either tbhAmy Miller @amymiller
27K Followers 3K Following 💜✌️ female comedian / coastal elite white trash / not talking to you, talking to your dog / never not touching my headJohnny Taylor, Jr. @hipsterocracy
129K Followers 109K Following “Bummin’ With the Devil” available on @tubi now! Comedian, Actor, Writer for @realpunknews. Co-host of the AEW-some Pod (link in bio).Jesse Fernandez @JesseFernandez
78K Followers 56K Following Instructs comedy @Google | Wrote for award-winning #Newsbroke on @ajplus, TED Talks, @OnionGamers, @WordsWFriends game showChris Estrada: Ontari.. @ChrisEstrada85
12K Followers 2K Following Stand-up Comic / Star & Co-Creator of @thisfoolhulu / https://t.co/vbztYeLh78 / My Don't Tell Comedy set in the link below.Alex Hooper @HooperHairPuff
13K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Weirdo. Eccentric Socialite. America's Got Talent. Comedy Central. Ellen. Dirty Briefs Podcast.eddie pepitone @eddiepepitone
91K Followers 2K Following PATREON: https://t.co/dm05RJF6Af / APOCALYPSE SOON Podcast: https://t.co/S6IV0RCzYA / FOR THE MASSES Special: https://t.co/x7GkqTeRYne e bustings @jessethehett
2K Followers 970 Following CEO of Microsoft. Philanthropist, futurist, visionarySam Weber @areacomedian
15K Followers 12K Following a man of stone with a funny bone of steel. 3rd funniest in Santa Cruz 2019, 2nd 2021 -@GoodTimesSC, 'comic on the move' -@SCSentinel, a 'fine fellow' -my momMatthew Levy @MattLevy51
14K Followers 14K Following Stand up comic. Sketch maker. Newsletter writer. Married to @annaphilomena. Crouton appreciator. Writes profiles. Check Medium link below and DM if interested.Ngaio Bealum @ngaio420
26K Followers 7K Following The Dank Diplomat. Cannabis expert on #cookingonhigh. Comedian, writer, juggler, musician, parent, activist, great cook. Hard beats and soft drugs. Oon-Guy-Yo.zach reinert @zachreinert0
7K Followers 2K FollowingPaco Romane - First o.. @pacoromane
3K Followers 4K Following Comedian/Actor Seen On @ComedyCentral @NBC @HBO Podcast @SupDocPodcast Voice of @PandoraMusic SAG-AFTRA @jetalentArielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.Steph Tolev @StephTolev
20K Followers 760 Following ⚡️⚡️⚡️FILTH QUEEN TOUR⚡️⚡️⚡️ LA MAY 2nd @thecomedystore 🎟️👇🏼Tom Thakkar @TomAThakkar
14K Followers 1K Following Special coming TODAY: https://t.co/Znhp3gwVmJ see more clips at https://t.co/GaLW6dzUb9Standup Booker @StandupBooker
4K Followers 0 Following Bring 45 friends and get 3 minutes of stage time! check out up-and-comer @barshowcomedianC’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
57K Followers 50K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time AssholeJT Habersaat @jtstandup
3K Followers 172 Following This place blows now. Find me @jtcustomtoys on Instagram for regular posts and updates. 🙌Sigourney Halleck @DDruulz
779 Followers 1K Following WARNING: This account is canon. Ru, 34, She/They. 18+ for lewd language and themes. Occasionally writes. Poison Ivy in 'The People's Joker'.TheBMovieVault🎥 @TheBMovieVault
10K Followers 180 Following The Distorted Kiwi's B-movie posters. Part of the @LudSpecCast. Shitposting through the shitstorm. Likes TANK GIRL more than the people that made TANK GIRL.Billy Jarrett @billyjarrettugh
3K Followers 520 Following B movie, burrito, and Intense Ethereal Wooshing aficionado (He/Him)Rubber Ptarmigan @RubberPtarmigan
72 Followers 55 Following Alaskan comics trying to help/expand the comedy scene We put on shows, perform in better shows our friends put on, and spread the good word of comedyDeepak Aggarwal (DP) .. @not8AllFunny
120 Followers 482 Following Stand-up Comedy, Writing for Late Night Television and Improv enthusiast!shaunak godkhindi @ShaunakIsCool
1K Followers 928 Following Standup comedian | I’ll Take It a comedy WebSeries linked below!Andy🕹❤️RetroGa.. @LoveRetroBTW
21K Followers 995 Following Influencers & Gaming Community Director at @SU2C | Retro Gamer | Nostalgia Enthusiast | Former Reality TV Producer | Host🎙CafeBTW Podcast (hiatus) 🏈Jets Fan |Kyle Lewis @KeepItFiveStar
6K Followers 2K Following Comic who sucks at playing baseball. Host: ,@FunFactorGames, @3ManBooth, Freelance Social Media / Community Manager [email protected]Queen Star Cunt 👑 .. @SuperHyperSpaz
8K Followers 7K Following Spazattack! Nerd alert! Women's rights, BLM, coffee & F-bombs. Nature/Horror/gaming/comics/nerd sh*t 4 life/ @sebastianstmaur is mineMarina @marina_comedy
7 Followers 12 Following Comedian. Storyteller. NYC. San Francisco. And anywhere in between.Dr Sean Travers @seanjetravers
8K Followers 4K Following PhD in Trauma, Popular Culture and Postmodernism. Published with Palgrave Macmillan. Illustrator. Horror, film, TV, games, cats. #mutantfam she/herTalesofTheWeird @talesof_weird
53 Followers 25 FollowingJacob Davison @JacobDavison_
4K Followers 5K Following Horror/Genre writer/fan. Emerson Alumni. Writer @ihorrornews and @eyeonhorror @HalloRewind co-host. Formerly Parcast/Deadtime Stories. icon credit @therotangelJohn-Michael Bond @BondJohnBond
4K Followers 2K Following Groucho Marx then Richard Marx then Karl Marx. Photos. Standup. Listen to my jokes: https://t.co/sveF3au4nfJohn Hinckley @JohnHinckley20
61K Followers 0 FollowingSarah Nerboso @princessnervous
2K Followers 2K Following Writer of awesome things like GREMLINS: SECRETS OF THE MOGWAI. Also MONSTER HIGH. Also YOUNG JEDI ADVENTURES! Also more! she/her.Reel Power Stunts @ReelPowerStunts
919 Followers 177 Following Action Design for Film & TV #GangsOfLondon https://t.co/3QDMrRdUi6Cera Gibson @CeraGibson
35K Followers 540 Following Queer x Polyamorous 💕 Musician | Measuring Tape Lady | Quinn Creator | Management: [email protected] Acting Agency: [email protected]☠Leah☠ @littleleah78
4K Followers 3K Following One woman creative agency, full time smart ass & harlot of horror. #ItsNiceToBeNice 🖤 #TheLastDriveIn #IKnowACoolPersonTooDavid Wright @WrightOfPassage
2 Followers 14 FollowingKatia Lévy @Frenchbiche
9K Followers 10K Following If you think some of my posts are funny, you should see some of my life choices.Dvora Kasdan @dvorakasdan
78 Followers 75 FollowingMarianne 🎃🔪🩸 @ScreamQueen514
8K Followers 8K Following Horror movies are life 🔪🎃 | Jason Voorhees is daddy 💦 | #HorrorTwt 🇨🇦🏳️🌈🔞 #TheFilthElementty @vhsbabe
2K Followers 363 Following irresistible creature who has an insatiable love for the dead 🔪🪦physical media collector🔪🪦 zoner⏳🛸👁️uptown ghoul⁷🔪 @codyadventures
454 Followers 379 Following a part of the mycelium network. 📍mpls 🟠🟢⚫: https://t.co/GrJC9YuXVYAction Addicts Podcas.. @AddictsAction
881 Followers 609 Following Podcast for lovers of the Action film genre. Taking a shotgun approach to old and new films alike. Kung Fu or Big Booms we got you! Hosted by @psychogoldgamin‘80𝙨 𝙝𝙤�.. @Thackerybinx86
4K Followers 4K Following An old friend of the Christys. Goofy Horror Podcaster. Co-Host of @people_scares & @KingzScream. Angelic Agent of chaos. Blerd & Bleek. 🎮 PSN: Thackerybinx86ziggy slutdust knows .. @OneInsaneSlut
2K Followers 559 Following he/they || @sexysluttyziggy || i promise i’m only flirting with youDaily Squibs @DailySquibs
21K Followers 1 Following Posting squibs once a day, every day! Run by @speederaserheadBob Calhoun @bob_calhoun
1K Followers 965 Following Co-host of Old Movies for Young Stoners (@OM4YStoners). Author of The Murders That Made Us (@ECWPress). Former SFWeekly, Incredibly Strange Wrestling. He/himBrian Jordan Alvarez @brianjoralvarez
109K Followers 1K Following actor: Will & Grace, M3GAN, English Teacher (upcoming)Ray Connolly @standupconnolly
62 Followers 207 Following Comic. Writer. Sober. My middle name is Francis.nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following She may not look like much but she can catch a man, said someone trying to insult me. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz🔪Spookie♏️ari�.. @SpookyScorpio79
16K Followers 7K Following Horror & Music Junkie....Looking for friends ONLY. 🖤Seattle girl who loves her Seahawks💙 & Mariners🩵. Mum, Magick & rock hunting. *serial retweeter*Carmen Christopher @CarmChristopher
11K Followers 1K Following Show Tickets here https://t.co/puCCcyC30OAndrew Bowser @andrewbowser
14K Followers 2K Following WATCH THE ONYX MOVIE NOW! https://t.co/zyJbDGBn1WErick Lorinc 🎃 @ErickLorinc
5K Followers 3K Following Horror Movie Guy. Bi 🏳🌈 Edited a vid or two. Chattanooga boy living in Hollywood. (He/Him)Daniel Hood @DanielHood4
2K Followers 1K Following You can't piss on hospitality, I won't allow it.....Red Letter Media @redlettermedia
224K Followers 770 Following Red Letter Media is responsible for the 70 minute Phantom Menace review as well as Space Cop, Half in the Bag, and Best of the Worst. Full time frauds.Jay Bauman @JayBauman1
156K Followers 75 Following Something terrible happened to me one year on Lincoln’s birthday.@chadopitz Understandably So! That's an all timer for me personally
just found out that you can stress vomit if you think about money enough
@chadopitz A overlooked raunchy gem! That person can never be a real friend.
Name a Sports film that you love. Mine: Kingpin (1996) 🎳
Name a Sports film that you love Mine: Moneyball
i’m so horny that’s ok my will is good
*the band Night Ranger calling a motel* 🎶 Motor Inn, 🎶 What’s your price per night? 🎶 It’s not on your website. 🎶 Wait, I see it now, alright.
What's a performance you love from a movie you don't? Joe Spinnel in Maniac (1980)
What's a performance you love from a movie you don't? Johnny Depp in Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Obsessed w/ the “Transformers: The Movie” sdtk. open.spotify.com/album/36bvweRY…
I truly believe a ton of people would benefit from a good old fashioned fist fight at least once in their lives. I don't wish anyone to get severely hurt, but a split lip and a black eye offer lessons that make you think before speaking on a hell of a lot of issues.😉😁👊
It's such a shame that Vic Morrow's legacy will likely be him dying on the set of THE TWILIGHT ZONE because he was really a great screen presence & left many great performances that could easily leave his mark
If your Alien ranking doesn’t have Waxwork 2 somewhere in the middle, I don’t wanna see it
@hperryhorton He's magnificent in The Place Beyond the Pines and Blue Valentine, which both sort of fit the bill here. Agreed — he's great fun when he's having fun, but he's got range.
@hperryhorton You’re welcome
Just a few pages into Frank Zappa's autobiography and it's already amazing
it’s weird to be a 25 year old girl and all your friends are men in their 40s
I'd be a terrible Universal Studios Tour Guide. I'd be like "They shot Puppet Master 3 on this backlot!!!" And some poor fool would be like "What's Puppet Master?" and unfortunately I would yell at them.