Hew @matthew_mandli
Anti-marijuana, Christian mother of 2 ✝️ Joined April 2017-
Tweets2K
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Followers361
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Following416
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Likes23K
Drunk Twitter time: If you’ve ever called the police on a homeless person for panhandling I will simply never respect you. Oh, they were bothering you by trying to live? Go to your house and ignore it, then, libby.
Lesbian day of visibility? Brother, I have been seeing a lesbian for two years
The grindr app is so goddamn glitchy you’d think the devs were bugchasers
Makes me so happy every time I see a yoyoer get engaged. Maybe there’s hope for you virgins.
Trans men use binders and trans women just throw all the papers loose in their backpack
Your #mcm just super-liked a girl with three of the same picture and snap in bio
Don’t you fucking send me to the National SAMSA helpline for googling whether it’s legal to drink a beer in class
So ashamed. Saw a dude wearing a shirt that just said “alpha” and I didn’t even call him a slur
Dave Chappelle getting serious 50 minutes into a special: my friend got jumped in Gay City for refusing to twerk. He fucking died.
The old hippie super in my building just said he was hoping the eclipse would beam extra cosmic vibes into the brisket he’s smoking today and tbh I really hope it does too
Robbed a bank in WI but since it was my first time it was just a traffic ticket
They cancelled the other open mic in town that was set for the day before the contest now I’m so fucked dude AAAAAAAA i don’t know what’s a funny joke
When I was special person in 1st grade, they asked what I want to be when I grow up, and 6yo me said “I wanna be on the SWAT team because they’re like the cops but they actually pull their triggers” and my teacher spit coffee all over herself
Before Sunday I have round 1 of MFCC, an overnight shift, a quiz I haven’t studied for, a feature gig in UP Michigan, a sold out show back in Madison the next afternoon, 2 papers to write, then another overnight shift. This is sustainable and will not end in burnout right guys
POOPSCRUFFIN4U (alpha.. @POOPSCRUFFIN4U
12K Followers 3K Following i can't read or count. triple threat, baybeeeeee
KC Sarkisian Phillips @IdiotBrainGuy
180 Followers 215 Following Disgusting Sewer Person he/she/they/we booty now
SKYE @daddyknives
770 Followers 715 Following autism creature. dark collector. clown doll enthusiast. forbes 30 under 30.
James Boy Advanced @jamesmcorlett
556 Followers 454 Following Amateur comedian. Feed full of jokes, video game and rpg stuff, and, lately, politics. (he/him) alternatively: (James/Jim)
🕳️Joey Digs Deep.. @JoeyBednarski
244 Followers 580 Following Chicago’s most normal comedian. currently “going bananas”. @AJLpod.
Elliott G-B @GrentRaddish
475 Followers 671 Following EGOT Award-Winning Comedian Garfield's personal lasagna chef Host of @TMALpod
ellie | elliot | dj d.. @plant_enjoyer
373 Followers 327 Following host @wsum artist, writer & photographer @EMMIEmagazine 📸ig: elliot.jpg_photos dm for photos
sara lebow 🫡 @SlebowSays
2K Followers 800 Following cheez it fan account | newsletters and podcasts @intelinsider | headlines @theonion | tiktok @veggiesoupofficial | she/her
eli. @comr4deli
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Deon @DWG724
412 Followers 278 Following Bunny DePayne and Lael Terramolder on @ratedrpgpodcast S3! 🎶Smile for a while and let's be jolly/love shouldn't be so melancholy 🎶 🌞♌🌕 ♏⬆️♉
arthur machado @Tutituuu_
1K Followers 892 Following music journalist covering internet bands and diy / editor in chief @EMMIEmagazine / interviews for @Sonemic / screaming for @MioMinMioWI
Aurora Anstead @AnsteadAur89657
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Ellie-rose Mcgarrigle @mcgarrigle97607
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Miah Swedberg @MiahSwedbe
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sarah 🫂 @purplehandbitch
343 Followers 748 Following never say never, say, "that could happen to me!!!"
Corrie Bennin @benn_cor
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Romy Nordquist @NordquistR68190
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Samantha @warren99samanth
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Verdell Dunwoody @VDunwoody53857
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Yuriko Rotstein @YRotstei
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Darlena Serio @DarlenaSeri
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Karyn Kravetsky @KarynKrave43519
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Bernardina Bryk @bry_bernard
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Jeanice Dickerson @DickersJeani
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Eneida Lobalbo @e_lobal
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Neoma Behrends @BehreNeo
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Alayah Plank @ala_plan
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Corey Hanmer @CoreyHanme90277
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Katie Zolman @KatieZolma74990
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skye (secret) @autismcreacher
30 Followers 35 Following mostly unsolicited opinions about stuff that doesn’t matter
Carole Marcrum @MarcrCaro
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Nelly Naschke @NellNasch
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Rosa Aningalan @AningalRos
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Martha Coleman @MarthaCole39306
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leslie:) @hesitantleslie
380 Followers 1K Following mentally unstable wizard, subject of devotion, etc.… / 9 inches taller than @himborights
Evelia Teabo @TeaEveli
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Avery Reiber @rei_aver
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Adelle Pai @AdellePai78603
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Vienna Steve @ViennaSte
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Thomas Brauch @thom_brauc
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Katina Beathe @BeatheKati5167
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Cora Baatz @cora_baat
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Karan Buglisi @KaraBugli
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Maryam Pacifico @MaryamP31813
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Ruthann Johnsey @ruthann9301
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ShirleeDehl @DehlShirle73429
121 Followers 2K Following
Giovanna Jabour @giovann_jab
68 Followers 5K Following
Pearl Doleman @DolemPea
28 Followers 5K Following
Maja Buterbaugh @MaButerba
43 Followers 5K Following
Buffy Crumpton @BuffyCrump21147
9 Followers 3K Following
POOPSCRUFFIN4U (alpha.. @POOPSCRUFFIN4U
12K Followers 3K Following i can't read or count. triple threat, baybeeeeee
KC Sarkisian Phillips @IdiotBrainGuy
180 Followers 215 Following Disgusting Sewer Person he/she/they/we booty now
SKYE @daddyknives
770 Followers 715 Following autism creature. dark collector. clown doll enthusiast. forbes 30 under 30.
James Boy Advanced @jamesmcorlett
556 Followers 454 Following Amateur comedian. Feed full of jokes, video game and rpg stuff, and, lately, politics. (he/him) alternatively: (James/Jim)
🕳️Joey Digs Deep.. @JoeyBednarski
244 Followers 580 Following Chicago’s most normal comedian. currently “going bananas”. @AJLpod.
Elliott G-B @GrentRaddish
475 Followers 671 Following EGOT Award-Winning Comedian Garfield's personal lasagna chef Host of @TMALpod
ellie | elliot | dj d.. @plant_enjoyer
373 Followers 327 Following host @wsum artist, writer & photographer @EMMIEmagazine 📸ig: elliot.jpg_photos dm for photos
sara lebow 🫡 @SlebowSays
2K Followers 800 Following cheez it fan account | newsletters and podcasts @intelinsider | headlines @theonion | tiktok @veggiesoupofficial | she/her
eli. @comr4deli
188 Followers 139 Following he/they… dj roadkill + wsum creative director + artist + photographer + radio host + other things
Deon @DWG724
412 Followers 278 Following Bunny DePayne and Lael Terramolder on @ratedrpgpodcast S3! 🎶Smile for a while and let's be jolly/love shouldn't be so melancholy 🎶 🌞♌🌕 ♏⬆️♉
arthur machado @Tutituuu_
1K Followers 892 Following music journalist covering internet bands and diy / editor in chief @EMMIEmagazine / interviews for @Sonemic / screaming for @MioMinMioWI
Yakubian Devil @LeoTheNerd69
50 Followers 91 Following any pronouns idc anymore // bitter old man // lol // header made by @Therofire
sailor mars @raeviolis
658 Followers 943 Following INFJ-T • Aquarius/Libra/Virgo • rule breaker • perpetual student
˗ˋˏ*̣̩⋆̩ 𝚍.. @FrickinDelanie
24K Followers 720 Following professional butt-sitter and good time enthusiast 🫧 mutuals: @onlinesuffering
skye (secret) @autismcreacher
30 Followers 35 Following mostly unsolicited opinions about stuff that doesn’t matter
leslie:) @hesitantleslie
380 Followers 1K Following mentally unstable wizard, subject of devotion, etc.… / 9 inches taller than @himborights
Lead Actor from Pixar.. @ByYourLogic
268K Followers 2K Following My life was a straight line before I met you, Jean Valjean
Madison Traffic @madisontraffic
11K Followers 342 Following Tweets about traffic troubles in and around Madison. Updated regularly during peak travel times: Mon-Fri 6am-9am & 3pm-6pm
Um Jammer KC @idiotbraingf
62 Followers 108 Following she needs to post more annoying. her followers love it.
sarah 🫂 @purplehandbitch
343 Followers 748 Following never say never, say, "that could happen to me!!!"
Willy 🐦⬛ @MisterTwoBeers
153 Followers 129 Following firm believer that it’s all connected — backup @SpaceXFanBoy98
Sylvie Averitte @SylvAverit
87 Followers 5K Following
DJ ZHU-DY @shintjoo
124 Followers 140 Following 🖥️㊗He/him💾engineer, instructor, world's midest IT guy, host of Coffee with Judy💽Dr. Pepper Enthusiast💾Official Wendt Commons resident💽yes, from Twitter㊗🖥️
Bill Gevirtz @Bill_Gevirtz
2K Followers 5K Following
Comedy Cabin @ComedyCabinwi
83 Followers 81 Following Comedy Club in Janesville WI. [email protected]
Dewey Decimal @_DeweyDecimal
5K Followers 5K Following lebanese-american mogul, first pianist ever to publish a poem at 18, film score, composer, songwriter-producer, certified bear guard in the state of Alaska
Will Santino @will_santino
2K Followers 467 Following Cartoonist @newyorker Artist / Standup Top 25% OF
thank you for this @dril
1.8M Followers 425 Following My posts help mentally ill peoples brains. I want to do good. I Want to bring value to this platform. That is my Quest. My Dream
My Views Are My Own p.. @myviews_podcast
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Lizzie Kirch, A Lady .. @TinLizzieK
153 Followers 405 Following ...and as if it couldn't get any worse, they still haven't found that Malaysian jet.
Just For Laughs @justforlaughs
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esther povitsky @littleesther
94K Followers 1K Following inanimate object / my stand up special HOT FOR MY NAME is streaming on youtube / see my stand up live: chicago, nyc, boston, detroit:
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UAE Exotic Falconry &.. @FalconryFinance
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atm @asantesinferno
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Americas Boyfiend @VeeChattie
925 Followers 997 Following 1/2 of @frowntownpod, Picture Boy, Recovering Stan-up comedian, they/he/bitch
Regional Jester @Northern_cow
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ashleigh nicole @Ashleigh_Gradel
254 Followers 238 Following i cry a lot but i am so productive | 26 | Packers Shareholder | Clemson Bioengineering 2020 | the funniest transsexual you know
Behind the Bastards O.. @bastardspodooc
6K Followers 308 Following The magic school bus, except Miss Frizzle is drunk and abusive. Not affiliated with @iwriteok (current admin hyperfocus: DS9)
Bad 2 Sentence Horror @bad2sentence
370K Followers 16 Following Dedicated to sharing BEST & WORST sets of 2 sentences! (follow @jerk)
Odd PornHub Comments @PornhubOdd
14K Followers 55 Following TURN ON POST NOTIS 🔔 send submission in DMs 📥
ANIME DORKY BF @shane_vadnais
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@komal_42 I’m retelling how it worked for me
@komal_42 I’m willing to explain myself but I’m trying to find out if you want to understand
or of course you could teach him to do chores and you’ll have a son for life
if you, a girl, live in a house with a boy and you want him to tidy up more: don’t teach him how to build a boat, teach him a love of the sea. he lacks your aesthetic sensitivity, and you can patch that hole without risking condescension. train his pleasure receptors
@SwampCommunist Find some Japanese knotweed seeds
@SwampCommunist Loudly play gunshot sounds at random times to decrease property value
@TKraus94 I live in Fred Dursts hometown thats not gonna work
@SwampCommunist Short of using old toilets and manikins as yard decor, you could just play Limp Bizkit on loop. It’s loud, offensive, and well… you get the idea.
@ChairmanBinks I interpreted those to mean indigenous alternatives (there's no telling how stubborn the other stuff would be in my climate anyway, and there are plenty of aggressive, lawnmower-proof local flora).
@SwampCommunist Whatever you do, don't introduce invasive plants to their yard, I can't believe I saw more than one person suggest that
Important stipulation x.com/swampcommunist…
@PlasticKatLove I like my other neighbors especially the older gentleman across the street who I would prefer not to terrorize in the process
Ny neighbors house got bought by a flipper is there anyrhing I can do to fuck w her money
@KILLTOPARTY A cheater and a golddigger try to sign a prenup sounds like the opening of a joke
I love that I am getting laser hair removal because what the hell kind of facial hair was this
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