kill the courier @kthecourier
fake music real people Joined December 2022-
Tweets2K
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Followers47
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Following227
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Likes4K
had a very bad impulse to make a list of books i would stock in a bookstore. that is no good and very bad. that would take an extra lifetime that i don't have, and for what. what is happening.
ladies and gentleman i would like to announce that standing people up still isn't cool
the poorly verbalized self perpetuating false mythos
yes but also spreadsheets can be beautiful too
yes but also spreadsheets can be beautiful too
why did one out of five slices of dried ginger sink
i don't mind having people over for dinner but what if i want taco bell or sushi right now, right now right about an hour before they arrive for said dinner, huh, what about that?
what a wonderful coincidence that we share a similar olfactory aesthetic with the planet's dominant pollinator clades
people who have accidentally (i mean truly accidentally, like you were more dismayed than excited when you realized) gone viral: did you dive into the fray like it was your new job, or lean back and let the tides take you where they pleased? or something else?
has the quality of the chocolate chunks in chunky monkey gone severely downhill? and was it ben or jerry who did it?
doofi of the world, unite! and yes, doofi is the only legal plural form of doofus
Two stages of grief I never see talked about: 1. Wanting to tell everyone, even people you barely know, don't know, influencers, members of the public, and the news 2. Never wanting to tell anyone ever
frozen pineapple can be eaten as is, in case you didn't know
Why does all film and television have to look like this? Why is it so dim and colourless?
it's not fair to call my lines walls/ when i've already let you color outside of them all
just overshot the back of my head with this claw clip by approximately four feet, what
shopping seeds on etsy while listening to aggressive end credits music (warrior) and trying to comprehend that ppl are offering the opportunity to propagate... dandelions?
Verda Tolmich @VTolmic
30 Followers 5K Following
Elizabeth @hendrickselizab
255 Followers 3K Following
Brynlee Vajda @BrynleVa
52 Followers 5K Following
Bianca Bagdonas @BagdonaBian
60 Followers 5K Following
Shonna Hengl @sho_hen
33 Followers 5K Following
Myrta Floran @FloranMyrt83257
76 Followers 5K Following
Palma Johndrow @JohndrowPa66750
82 Followers 5K Following
Trinidad Lancz @LanTrinid
38 Followers 5K Following
american biologist @95thoughts
1K Followers 2K Following ich weiß es nicht | post-darwinian evangelist | student of divine form (genomic architecture)
Rylee Guadiana @GuadianRyl
28 Followers 5K Following
Shawna Kilver @ShawKilv
45 Followers 5K Following
Owen Porter @Owesortxer81
1K Followers 4K Following To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.
Romie Marolf @marolf_mar
75 Followers 5K Following
Hortense Schlottman @HortenSchlott
77 Followers 5K Following
Josephine Shockey @JosephineS41216
77 Followers 5K Following
Elon musk @rrlelonmusk
17 Followers 825 Following CEO - spaceX🚀, Tesla🚘 Founder- The Boring company Co-- Neuralink, openAl 💪
Maia Bittner @maiab
27K Followers 2K Following TMI tweets about tech and mom life. Investing in startups founded by fellow @olincollege alumni via my fund @parcelbvc and by fellow women via @xfactorventures
I can't think of anyt.. @jeduffy
839 Followers 4K Following
Tamara Colyar @TamaColyar
63 Followers 5K Following
Sefora Topez @SefoTope
69 Followers 5K Following
Lo̷r̷e̵͚̊n̴̞͌.. @lorenpmc
799 Followers 4K Following gnome in a garden of logic DMs seed growth. Berkeley, Oakland, SF (& south bay) people @/DM me. let’s walk and talk
Mark Jensen @thinkinator
146 Followers 269 Following Still thinking after all these years. Mostly about donuts. Plus banjos.
Galina Goodemote @goodemote74457
80 Followers 5K Following
Haley Woullard @WoullardHa88862
44 Followers 5K Following
Rutha Finucan @RutFinuc
47 Followers 5K Following
Michael Snellings @michaelsnelling
83K Followers 81K Following guitar player/singer my music is streaming actor(sorta) marathon runner https://t.co/G1mHjDQZhw
Claudette Kemmeries @c_kemmeri
37 Followers 5K Following
Rosemary Frazey @frazey63428
8 Followers 2K Following
Tiffany Isa @TiffaIsa
67 Followers 5K Following
Charlie Trudeau @TrudeaCharl
39 Followers 5K Following
Miah Wickson @MiahWickso79282
37 Followers 5K Following
Shera Vanslooten @shera36160
45 Followers 5K Following
Lillie Hyre @hyre_hy
32 Followers 5K Following
Madilynn Dabbraccio @MadilynnDa1710
38 Followers 5K Following
Kalyn Hortein @hortein14491
91 Followers 5K Following
E:undefined behavior @alanou
90 Followers 118 Following This communication medium has messages intended for multiple distinct audiences. Please ignore what isn’t for you.
Francesca Leader @mooninabucket
10K Followers 11K Following '23 World's Best Short-Short Story Winner (@SoutheastReview), ‘22 Pushcart Nom, ‘23 BOTN & BSF Nom. @jjournalnyc/@havehadhavehad/@moonrabbitcandy/@fivesouthlit.
Jess Leigh🔪❣️ @Softapocalypses
19K Followers 8K Following unhinged poet who shit posts from the ethereal plane. sex and body positive. 40s, she/her. married. 🔞happy typo bandit.
Google Developers Fri.. @gdg_devs
815 Followers 5K Following Part of Google Developer Group community. We hope see you at the next online meetup! Join us to master your Dev skills
Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau
89K Followers 1K Following Comedian, Writer, Founder of Persona Essential Social Media Management, writer of @GrimAndGraham
Flinnie @flinnie
15K Followers 2K Following I'm a delight©. @mountains_anna named a duck after me. Aunt to a wonderful nephew. Socially unaware and whack. Veni, vidi, cecidit de sella me
Internet Archive @internetarchive
321K Followers 1K Following Internet Archive is a non-profit digital library offering millions of free books, movies & audio files, plus billions of saved web pages in the @waybackmachine.
Hugh Howey @hughhowey
35K Followers 2K Following New York Times bestselling author of WOOL and other fine works. SILO now a hit show on AppleTVPlus! BEACON 23 coming to AMC. https://t.co/VQO8HjT0VV
Lady Demosthenes @LadyDemosthenes
13K Followers 1K Following A klutzy, quixotic bundle of witticisms, worries, and wanderlust. I’m just here to giggle, mostly at myself.
Sherman McCoy @wasphyxiation
7K Followers 3K Following Moderate Republican. I just want the trains to run on time
André Alyeska @Andre_Alyeska
73 Followers 132 Following The anti-hip uncool, cool. Author, Advocate, Time Traveler and QMHA.
Jack Schlossberg @JBKSchlossberg
51K Followers 471 Following
your other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 965 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4Pw
snail @tallsnail
2K Followers 816 Following breakfast enthusiast, 4 seasons enjoyer, software developer, new mom
metakuna (13/100 blog.. @metakuna
3K Followers 1K Following I'm a little tpot (account) short and stout, here's my handle here's my clout
Shylock Holmes @shylockh
4K Followers 831 Following One pound of inference, no more, no less. No humbug, no cant, but only inference. This task done, and he would go free.
Steven Godofsky @sgodofsk
5K Followers 584 Following Converting meat byproducts into bad tweets. @msbgu '20, @RITtigers '15, TJHSST '11.
T. Greer @Scholars_Stage
36K Followers 535 Following • Director @CSTranslate • Essayist https://t.co/QAwli8kcMU • Long takes on 🇨🇳 politics, 🇺🇸 conservatism, ancient history • Old tweets on auto-delete!
TracingWoodgrains @tracewoodgrains
22K Followers 1K Following Storyteller. CFP @TheBARPod. Pursue excellence. Eng/中文
Dylan Matthews @theDMatthews
91K Followers 39 Following I like milkshakes. Here's my YouTube channel.
Yuval Kordov @YuvalKordov
1K Followers 671 Following Creator of Dark Legacies, a post-post-apocalyptic sci-fi/dark fantasy world. Father of two. Forever goth.
Raspberry Pi @Raspberry_Pi
609K Followers 1K Following Find us on Threads, LinkedIn, Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. Be excellent to each other
NaNoWriMo @NaNoWriMo
199K Followers 589 Following Check out our "I Wrote a Novel... Now What?" resources and dedicate this year to your creative journey! Click below to learn more. 👇🏽
Vess Velikov @vessvelikov
33 Followers 112 Following
Luke Winch @Luke_Winch
2K Followers 3K Following #SPFBO9 judge with Before We Go | Host of @TheOTPPodcast | co-host of @ADreamGivenForm | Fantasy/Sci-fi | Booktuber
Dog Intelligence Agen.. @CAsimulation10
329 Followers 267 Following Tea sales. Tugboat captain. Beef inspector.
Prince Vogelfrei @PrinceVogel
16K Followers 2K Following Searching for the deepest possible conviction
Cosmic Bagel @universal_bagel
92 Followers 224 Following this website is a sitcom and I'm watching with an out of sync laugh track
nihilism disrespecter @meaning_enjoyer
10K Followers 917 Following expounder and proponent of mystic normieism
River Kenna @the_wilderless
15K Followers 368 Following I just want a simple life of love & valor • And to be a renowned artist-scholar of mythonoetics • Who is wealthy + jacked • Like a hot Jung • https://t.co/igc4toDrLd
hobart mariner 9️�.. @hobartmariner
969 Followers 998 Following Remarks want you to make them. gone for a bit
Bertrude Betterthnu @NotLkeOtherMoms
35 Followers 28 Following Homemaker, entrepreneur, teacher, motivational tweeter, mother of 10. Author of "It's Not That Hard: Just TRY." If you want to be successful you must WORK.
@Harristorically @Brian_Rugg I agree with both of you. The notion that another person’s mind can simply be downloaded and automated is related to the notion that a few hundred pages of their writing in translation contains the inventory of their mental world.
@justalexoki @thechosenberg you know when they do a c section they cut through the entire abdominal wall and take the intestines out? vasectomy is keyhole surgery
@justalexoki @thechosenberg Major abdominal surgery > keyhole outpatient procedure my friend
@inflammateomnia Ankle support and waterproof but breathable are things I absolute want when I'm hiking / camping but don't need or even want other times, so they're definitely a valid and separate form of footwear. That said, I wore steel-toed landscaping boots to climb Mt. Kenya, so 🤷♂️
Feel like we missed out on something really special
David Cross and Bob Odenkirk were meant to star in a docu-style comedy about rival cult gurus manipulating the minds of their deluded followers. The series got scrapped as the analytics & marketing department didn’t get it. (Source: variety.com/2024/tv/news/d…)
next week I will be interviewed by a woman named alexandra for her podcast, which is called admixing alexandras, & for which she interviews a different alexandra every episode
This is simply not true and it leads me to believe you know literally no blue collar men and are larping as a king of a cause for a court your balls not even in. Rural residing men are normally blue collar and they get married younger and faster than most other men.
The reason fewer women are married is because the plumber or the construction worker isn’t good enough for them like they were 3 generations ago, but go ahead and comfort yourself with the thought that it’s because men are all just bad people and partners.
@RMFifthCircuit Is this also a week without childcare/significant domestic responsibilities? If yes, 6-7.
Once again I have gotten excited to purchase an outfit advertised to me on the internet only to click on the link and discover it is for a baby.
A dating app for people who like pie filling, but not pie: Crumble.
A dating app for people who know when to quietly sit down: Humble
working theory that men have an easier time opening jars mostly because they don’t moisturize properly
Completely universally retardedly untrue
Today, after 10 years of wildlife-friendly gardening, patience, hope & monthly checks, I discover that a hedgehog has set up nest in the hedgehog house! Inexpressible joy! My inner child is beaming. And quite possibly my year is made.
@AtavismDr @MorlockP Depends on what you mean by adult. I was reading adult sci-fi at that age: Foundation, Pern, a lot of Anderson, even some adult Heinlein like TMIAHM. Often I just didn't get the adult parts. I wouldn't do Time Enough for Love but Glory Road would be fine for 10 to stay Heinlein
There is adult fiction, and adult fiction. A lot of classic SF was written in an era, and for a market, that would not tolerate smut. They could, and did, infer things that would fly right over a ten-year old.
@MorlockP Holy Moly the number of people recommending adult fiction for a TEN year old is... frankly not that amazing, given the mainstream litscifi crowd have no idea what's appropriate for children, as proven time and time again at the consuite.
what do you think it’s like to be a pet. things just happen to you for no explainable reason. now you’re being lifted into the air. now you’re being scolded for… urinating? now you’re wearing a hat and there’s a cake on fire in front of you. what can you do
This is the most tragic piece of home décor I've ever seen. I love it.
@EllenFWalker I've no idea. Probably the same marketeer who thought a tastefully-modelled figurine of Sherlock Holmes and Watson bending over a dead man in a pool of blood, and saying "Are we too late, Watson?" was a good idea. Charity shop. £2.
once I asked a friend to help me with a phonology project and he said “sure, unless I need to shave my head” and I was like ??!?!!???? and he replied “I thought maybe it would affect the skull measurements” and that’s how I figured out he thought I said phrenology
@AniseNot Lol all the exercises listed in the article are performed laying down
Can’t wait for women like this give birth lol, you’re in for a surprise sweetheart
@ClosingScore @stillgray According to the Mayo Clinic, it’s safe for women to exercise a couple of days after giving birth. Although, I suspect the problem had been long-standing before she gave birth. Because, you know, feminism. mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifest….
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