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Tweets23K
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Followers4K
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Following2K
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Likes73K
At what point do we call a volcano extinct for sure? I don’t want to be the one who says 10,000 years, but then things go kablooey at 10,001.
sorry i dropped a bucket on your head and punched the bucket
Don't worry about WWIII. If I learned anything from watching WWII movies it's that everyone that fights will be from Brooklyn, or the Bronx or a small town in Iowa
Oh, vague, lingering, nameless dread. You and I have been through a lot together, old friend.
Raindrops are reincarnations of other raindrops. This is a big thought all by itself, but also I was eating yogurt.
Dance like no one's watching. Cut that donut in half like you won't be back for the rest of it in 10 minutes.
Without the cheese it would've just been hamburger in paradise. Really makes you think.
opens a bar for you and your friends called charlatans
At least one person in a marriage should be able to whistle.
At the time, there was a bear who was a grizzly and a bear who was a chimp/long haul trucker. It was television at its most mammal positive.
In case the ban on blocking is retroactive, I'd just like to say: I'm still here, you jackass.
Inevitably, you will meet someone who looks like a sturgeon. Now that you know, it won't take you by surprise.
Most of the pictures from the 70's are of people sitting in lawn chairs.
It's nice when a friend's kids are grown and we can resume our friendship
sorry i picked you up and used you as a human shield
Only a monster would pull into an entrance that slowly.
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
47K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/1tLBuSYH1g
Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
45K Followers 8K Following Fancy Pants raconteur I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlJcMx I know who DB Cooper is
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 984 Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
101K Followers 18K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
fightgeek @fightgeek
10K Followers 8K Following i wander around outside and hangout with dogs mostly 🇺🇸
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
23K Followers 6K Following Winner - America's Funniest People [email protected]
Marly @VerbsRProudest
9K Followers 4K Following Mom, Wife, Scribbler - Tweets https://t.co/fmOqFyUryK OR exc replies https://t.co/oKTHFtbaqK header by talented friend @bucmarvin
Benny 'Autistic Speci... @citizenkawala
23K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Matty @bestestname
16K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
73K Followers 8K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following
Stap the Mattness @Stap_Jr
4K Followers 1K Following GOOD. GREAT. GRAND. WONDERFUL. EVERYBODY ON THE BUS https://t.co/glzMoTuoeZ
Ivsy @Ivsy01
37K Followers 8K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (... @FScottFitzJesse
8K Followers 6K Following I'm just here to make fun of myself.
John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
16K Followers 8K Following This mind intentionally left blank. https://t.co/n3wD8D0ICA
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
51K Followers 6K Following Gen Xer with opinions, observations, and a sense of humor. Loves animals more than most people. LA 📍
Bill Baker @billbaker122
543 Followers 7K Following Entrepreneur in the Financial Markets / Real Esta Investor / Portfolio Manager / Crypto Trader
Toosogr @ToosogrcFcSs
70 Followers 3K Following Clear thinking requires courage rather than intelligence.
JONATHAN AID NETWORK @smiling_child_
934 Followers 7K Following Passionate about caring for orphans and changing lives Every child deserves love and care. Proud to be a part of their journey Join me in making a difference
Leonard L @FridayAnimeRock
83 Followers 591 Following Followed by some of the best bots and scammers on X.
Montana Mac @jgh7
67 Followers 1K Following
Orlaigh Kickel @KickelOrla80105
17 Followers 654 Following
Rebel Soul @ThisRebelSoul
14K Followers 4K Following I’m a little bit of everything. https://t.co/DtyfWOzmt1
SimpleMAN 🇺🇸 �... @simpleman325
364 Followers 1K Following #IRONWILL #theluckyfew #TeamIronWill 3 🌞S
Lynn tiffany @Lynntiffany16
457 Followers 4K Following its day of fun never hesitate to say what you think about me! fun?? or more let watch a movie together ❤
NCF Students for Educ... @NCFEduFreedom
3K Followers 568 Following We are the NEW College of Florida, not the OLD. We stand against the reactionary, hostile takeover of our school. #SaveNewCollege
🧦𝚃𝚞𝚋𝚎�... @TheRealTubesox
515 Followers 650 Following Co-Host of “What Were We Saying?” with Big Uke & Tubesox. New episodes each Thursday at 6:30 MST , on YouTube, Spotify & wherever you get your podcast
Texasweethang @Texasweethang77
171 Followers 334 Following So nerdy it’s dirty. Just here for the laughs cause I am sick of laughing at myself.
Kitteh @thekitteh5
1K Followers 2K Following "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." Hemingway #UniversalConsciousness #NYGiants #Merica
Schrödinger's Catbox @EMosburg
200 Followers 414 Following Catholic Christian by the grace of God. Husband, father, UNIX sysadmin. Lean into your dissatisfaction with sad conformity and repudiate it forever.
NCCandidateTracker @tracker_NC_S2
32 Followers 849 Following
Mysterious Paloma �... @talldarkthirsty
7K Followers 1K Following Wine consuming, provider of mediocre content. May be a robot. You don’t know
Carmella Cannoli @piccolobutt
15K Followers 4K Following I like long walks through the liquor store & beets. Pleasantly oblivious. https://t.co/UPLdA35eHN
Julie Babyar @juliebabyar
9K Followers 6K Following Your Mockingjay. Past and present: https://t.co/VRbjCIZyAW
Bourbon and Me... A c... @A_Bike_Guy
2K Followers 3K Following Nemophile Pluviophile Autophile Selenophile Ceraunophile Dendrophile Stigmatophile
D.B. Taylor, now with... @DBTayor
7K Followers 6K Following Accurate with a 1911 ⓘOfficial Sources Dispute This Claim; Blue eyes; Proper manicure; @GeorgiaTech engineer; Univ. of Denver Law; Dad to 2, Husband to 1. ☩
The Prompt Mag @thepromptmag
9K Followers 10K Following The Prompt is a creative community that showcases unique voices by issuing #prompts to inspire our collective of #writers & #artists... maybe even you. We / Us
k @lulkhairoh
6 Followers 551 Following
maygin @suhalasolana
0 Followers 648 Following a spiritual being of light who’s been granted the access to encounter the human experience
𝕷𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑�... @LittleBeast7
2K Followers 578 Following No DMs My heart belongs to the man who will fight for it ❤
Jelena Djurovic @JelenaDjurovic
6K Followers 3K Following “I would have lived in peace. But my enemies brought me war” Posts on Israeli and Jewish matters in xYU languages. Editor: https://t.co/tVizX5MfZF Blogger: Times of Israel
Laurie @LaurieT2021
1K Followers 4K Following Model citizen #grossepointeantifa #abolishthefilibuster
Raj Sain @RajSain
16 Followers 107 Following
just me @abhutra1999
62 Followers 673 Following
Temo there’s a Dana... @TheresaDanaher2
252 Followers 544 Following Mom of three, Nan of four, I love my babies 🇬🇧🌹
Jennay Gump 🦐 🍫... @jovialjennay
2K Followers 1K Following Allergic to shrimp. Number is on the wall. Mom of some kids.
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉... @MoMohler
14K Followers 10K Following Rated 100% pure, grade A, American “little beef boy” by JD Power And Associates.
Tanya James @tanyamariejames
414 Followers 2K Following
Karma § Katzz® 🐾... @katzz77
12K Followers 4K Following #hashtags 🐾 cats • wine • whiskey 🐾 1013 infinity 🐾 might be at @ShadyKatzz7
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
47K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/1tLBuSYH1g
Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
45K Followers 8K Following Fancy Pants raconteur I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlJcMx I know who DB Cooper is
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 984 Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
101K Followers 18K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
fightgeek @fightgeek
10K Followers 8K Following i wander around outside and hangout with dogs mostly 🇺🇸
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
23K Followers 6K Following Winner - America's Funniest People [email protected]
Marly @VerbsRProudest
9K Followers 4K Following Mom, Wife, Scribbler - Tweets https://t.co/fmOqFyUryK OR exc replies https://t.co/oKTHFtbaqK header by talented friend @bucmarvin
Benny 'Autistic Speci... @citizenkawala
23K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Matty @bestestname
16K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
73K Followers 8K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Burning Mom ⚡️ @MomOnFire
75K Followers 2K Following
Stap the Mattness @Stap_Jr
4K Followers 1K Following GOOD. GREAT. GRAND. WONDERFUL. EVERYBODY ON THE BUS https://t.co/glzMoTuoeZ
Ivsy @Ivsy01
37K Followers 8K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
F. Scott Fitz Jesse (... @FScottFitzJesse
8K Followers 6K Following I'm just here to make fun of myself.
John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
16K Followers 8K Following This mind intentionally left blank. https://t.co/n3wD8D0ICA
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
51K Followers 6K Following Gen Xer with opinions, observations, and a sense of humor. Loves animals more than most people. LA 📍
Kimberly Meech King @ConnectingSales
2K Followers 4K Following
Rebel Soul @ThisRebelSoul
14K Followers 4K Following I’m a little bit of everything. https://t.co/DtyfWOzmt1
NCF Students for Educ... @NCFEduFreedom
3K Followers 568 Following We are the NEW College of Florida, not the OLD. We stand against the reactionary, hostile takeover of our school. #SaveNewCollege
🧦𝚃𝚞𝚋𝚎�... @TheRealTubesox
515 Followers 650 Following Co-Host of “What Were We Saying?” with Big Uke & Tubesox. New episodes each Thursday at 6:30 MST , on YouTube, Spotify & wherever you get your podcast
Kitteh @thekitteh5
1K Followers 2K Following "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." Hemingway #UniversalConsciousness #NYGiants #Merica
Mysterious Paloma �... @talldarkthirsty
7K Followers 1K Following Wine consuming, provider of mediocre content. May be a robot. You don’t know
Julie Babyar @juliebabyar
9K Followers 6K Following Your Mockingjay. Past and present: https://t.co/VRbjCIZyAW
Bourbon and Me... A c... @A_Bike_Guy
2K Followers 3K Following Nemophile Pluviophile Autophile Selenophile Ceraunophile Dendrophile Stigmatophile
D.B. Taylor, now with... @DBTayor
7K Followers 6K Following Accurate with a 1911 ⓘOfficial Sources Dispute This Claim; Blue eyes; Proper manicure; @GeorgiaTech engineer; Univ. of Denver Law; Dad to 2, Husband to 1. ☩
DZY @bokneeya_dzy
2K Followers 3K Following USAF Veteran... from Aus-Tex. Lipan Tribe-Apache Nation...My tweets suck, but my replies kill!
The Prompt Mag @thepromptmag
9K Followers 10K Following The Prompt is a creative community that showcases unique voices by issuing #prompts to inspire our collective of #writers & #artists... maybe even you. We / Us
𝕷𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖑�... @LittleBeast7
2K Followers 578 Following No DMs My heart belongs to the man who will fight for it ❤
Jelena Djurovic @JelenaDjurovic
6K Followers 3K Following “I would have lived in peace. But my enemies brought me war” Posts on Israeli and Jewish matters in xYU languages. Editor: https://t.co/tVizX5MfZF Blogger: Times of Israel
Laurie @LaurieT2021
1K Followers 4K Following Model citizen #grossepointeantifa #abolishthefilibuster
𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉... @MoMohler
14K Followers 10K Following Rated 100% pure, grade A, American “little beef boy” by JD Power And Associates.
Jennay Gump 🦐 🍫... @jovialjennay
2K Followers 1K Following Allergic to shrimp. Number is on the wall. Mom of some kids.
Karma § Katzz® 🐾... @katzz77
12K Followers 4K Following #hashtags 🐾 cats • wine • whiskey 🐾 1013 infinity 🐾 might be at @ShadyKatzz7
ʍɨɖռɨɢɦȶ ʟɨ... @bruiseandbloom
12K Followers 3K Following s᥆𝖿𝗍 sᥱᥒsᥙᥲᥣі𝗍ᥡ ᑲᥣ᥆᥆mіᥒg іᥒ 𝗍һᥱ mіძᥒіgһ𝗍 gᥲrძᥱᥒ, ᥕһᥱrᥱ 𝗍һᥱ ᥒіgһ𝗍 ⍴ᥙᥣᥣs mᥱ ძᥱᥱ⍴ᥱr іᥒ𝗍᥆ ძᥲrk. 💕survivor 💕
Elon Unscented 🏐 @ElonUnscented
206 Followers 269 Following The thinking man's Elon Musk ... I ❤ pronouns: she/her/wrath of a menace
❤️🔥𝕊𝕚... @MyFadedRainbow
19K Followers 4K Following I'm an asshole who tweets asshole things about once a year
♡just me♡ @KaKaKaKaaatie
3K Followers 5K Following ♡Let all that you do be done in Love♡ 1CORINTHIANS16:14 ♡I Believe🎅♡
Kate’s Fate @katvonwitt
16K Followers 2K Following I’m like the Sun. You should probably just soak up everything. https://t.co/xKoBJkkSh2
James Carlson @jcarlsonma
780 Followers 2K Following @[email protected] @[email protected] @carlsonj.bsky.social @[email protected]
Chris Steller @chris_steller
12K Followers 12K Following former twitter personality cbsteller at gmail
The REAL #CheekyDre @CheekyDre
5K Followers 6K Following *for entertainment* Try not to get sucked in by my charm. #ADHD so let's not drag this out.
Bacon With Lettuce @thebeedub
1K Followers 1K Following I lost a sock and I'm on a quest to find it.
Angie Platinum @platinum_angie
30 Followers 400 Following anime is life. i lift heavy shit. I like tattoos. I eat a lot. I’m super insecure.
Franklin Yi @Thomas_Lull
23K Followers 10K Following I was once on an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. I’m a Comic that’s done shows in parking lots.
Houston Hard Hitters @TXrednation1
2K Followers 3K Following Slime SZN Texans Rockets Astros 2017 champs Longhorns Saints UK Basketball Lamar Boxing Taekwondo MMA AEW WWE ROH Humor Horror Military
Jules @julesbrazz
73K Followers 6K Following
🖤 EV 🖤 @sweetcrazyweird
6K Followers 5K Following blah, blah, something weird, blah, something dumb, blah, blah, blah, something inappropriate, blah, blah, word vomit; avi is not really me...duh!
𝕂𝕒𝕪, 𝕥�... @BabyAblaze
6K Followers 2K Following With a sharp wit, love of strong coffee, and a dark Shakespearean heart, I can offer you a mix of humour, charm, and endless curiosity💋































