Sara Warf @SaraBWarf
Law Prof @unc_law (research & writing + clerkship writing). Former appellate clerk & atty. she/her. Likes: pockets on dresses. Dislikes: surprise driveway tubs. Chapel Hill, NC Joined May 2017-
Tweets28K
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Followers11K
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Following1K
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Likes95K
Sara Warf retweeted
Time once again for my occasional series 'Women with great hair fleeing gothic houses!' Let's see what's in the library shall we...
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I have hit whatever phase of adulthood where you see your blueberry bushes are bursting with these little guys and go OOH. OOOOOOOOH
Me this morning to 9yo: My back still hurts a lot. 9yo (deadpan): Well this is the first you’ve said about it. Me:
Me this morning: Okay I’m gonna brave this awful back pain and sit up in my desk chair to grade (1-hour montage of me making medical appts for me & both kids, registering for conference, talking with IT) Me: Okay now GRADES 12yo (text): hey power’s out at school come get me
I just suddenly remembered that I never brought in the groceries that I picked up two hours ago and, alone in the house, sat up straight and said OH NO!!!
You come into MY HOUSE
Sara Warf retweeted
Moles and spillage; a thread (as I feel like I’m living in a sitcom. So, I have a cat. He’s awesome. Yesterday, said cat was taking an unusual interest in my lounge furniture. This was because he’d brought in a live mole and let it run around in my house
In terrible news I played pickleball today for the first time and it was quite fun
Ruth Galloway gets it
Just saw a crow land so lightly on a dude’s back (lying on his belly) that he didn’t notice. When it took off he must have felt a tiny push on his butt bc he curiously turned around to see no one within ten feet of him. I immediately said IT WAS A CROW so he can sleep tonight
Ma’am we have asked you repeatedly not to kiss the crustaceans
This account does such amazing satire that it always takes me a minute to realize it IS satire. Indistinguishable etc.
This account does such amazing satire that it always takes me a minute to realize it IS satire. Indistinguishable etc.
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🏃♀️⚖️ @CanPanicNow
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anxiety at law 🤍 @ANXIETYATLAW
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Kendyl Hanks ❤️�.. @HanksKendyl
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Judge Stephen Dillard @JudgeDillard
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Zach Wolfe @zachwolfelaw
10K Followers 3K Following Texas non-compete & trade secret law. Also likes jazz, handstand pushups, Dallas Cowboys. Blog https://t.co/CLP7D26jT8 rated “unspeakably bad” by Twitter.
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440 Followers 698 Following I drink water and am very sharp! Not a lawyer, posting law shit mostly (plus silly unhinged Twitter bullshit). #BanDiscourse2024 #EncourageMess2024
Rosie C 💙 @gaswomancometh
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katie @focusfronting
28K Followers 6K Following views are not my own and represent those of noam chomsky. she/her
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actual heathcliff com.. @RealHeathcliffs
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Evan Ringel @evanringel3
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frog "Philip K. Dickg.. @yurirando
7K Followers 1K Following We have fun here, don't we? frog K fka paris green / enmity ironside icon by @maximumgraves omnigender dirty bird, she/her sad/nude locked @nosoucci
Sitcom People @SitcomPeople
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Sara @saraaaaajean
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Jess got h*cked ☹�.. @secondaryjess
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plantydirt 🌱 @plantydirt
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madeline odent @oldenoughtosay
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Onion Weigher 𓄽 �.. @onionweigher
59K Followers 5K Following § 1032. Onion weigher - An onion weigher is appointed who is neither directly nor indirectly involved in the sale or distribution of onions.
Lisa Beasley @lisabevolving
27K Followers 2K Following Comedian. Actor. Strategically unhinged. Sent here to play in your face. Better than Ai. I've EGOTTED 3 times
Robert Evans (The Onl.. @IwriteOK
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Sophia Benoit @1followernodad
122K Followers 1K Following book: WELL, THIS IS EXHAUSTING | sex columnist: @Bustle & @gqmagazine | newsletter: HERE'S THE THING | she/her
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Mark Coddington @markcoddington
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Ross Sayers @Sayers33
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Mark Pahlow @mcpheeceo
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CrimeGirl © @CrimeGirI
66K Followers 1K Following “Well-known tweeting Barrister” @theBarCouncil | Founded @FreeFromFearUK | a fo ben, bid bont | 🏴
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
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Elizabeth Hackett @LizHackett
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Kara Klotz @KKlotzz
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Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski
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Moms in TV ads are almost always wearing this exact outfit and yet I’ve never seen a human woman wear this outfit in real life.
This was the funniest threat I’ve received on twitter
@lonelytiefling My personal favorite:
Because airplanes don't have enough space for bags and people don't want to be forced to check their bags.
There’s a lot of things about humans that I don’t understand. Near the top of that list is the desire to be the first one to board a plane. Why would you want to be stuck inside a metal tube for any longer than you have to be??
MARIE KONDO: does this empty box spark joy? ME: yes MK: and this old iPhone 4 box? ME: yes MK: and allll of these Amazon boxes? do they spark joy too? ME: yes MK: and this other one over here with all of these smaller boxes inside it? ME: yes
You just never know who is going to grow up to be the chief judge of your state’s intermediate appellate court.
@girl75219 It was attached to it! I am really impressed with former me 😂
My older daughter is going to overnight camp this summer. They aren’t allowed to bring devices (which FTR I love!) but they can bring MP3 players with no internet connection to play music. Well, well, well. Look what I just found while packing. Now let’s see if it charges…
Omg. It worked immediately. And apparently early 2010s KSV had some very eclectic music taste!
@SaraBWarf I men that’s how I felt as a kid with the ones we had in our backyard
I am doing the same thing with the Asian pear trees my wife and I bought planted. They have begun to grow their flowering branches!
I have hit whatever phase of adulthood where you see your blueberry bushes are bursting with these little guys and go OOH. OOOOOOOOH
@SaraBWarf Blueberries are right in the sweet spot of easy to grow and expensive to buy that makes it so worth growing them
Have you got anything to help with my left foot?
The painter’s radio heading back to the van after a long day of blasting Kiss FM
Really gotta stop watching horror movies And putting hats on banisters
“So, I have always wanted to be put into a medically induced coma.” Architect: “Say no more”
New blog post from me: "No One Cares! Consider Shutting The Fuck Up About Your Open Marriage"
If you're wondering how much of a dog fuckwit I am I've just tried to pet this dog that looks like fucking Bane
I think we really are underselling how cooked Facebook is. This is a 17,000 member group called "Facebook complaints center" made up of people that post like they recently got a concussion
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