Patrick @patrickmarkryan
indoorsman Los Angeles, CA Joined March 2009-
Tweets4K
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Followers5K
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Following519
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Likes14K
@joeyearle1340 @LeBatardShow @MichaelRyanRuiz @jtdalyart @gregcote @__ChrisCote @ChrisWittyngham @stugotz790 This is fake. They were actually listening to ‘The Ballad of 1440’
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@joeyearle1340 Why did Smurf and her adult sons have so much sexual tension ?
Patrick retweeted
this is the "fa" we were "anti", by the way
The law and order president will simply not stop committing crimes
When ur printer won’t work no matter how hard u try but flawlessly cranks out a crisp ink levels page u should be allowed to murder ur neighbor who plays the loud thumpy music all day
@CoachDanMullen Go gators but my god pineapple in sweet potatoes??? Calling the cops. For your own good, coach
“The losing presidential candidate’s motorcade drives through a crowd of crazed supporters protesting on his behalf, en route to play golf” would be a perfect cold open to the movie about 2020 America
@Skorzo60 Dare you to hang up one of these at the cabin
If you are ever more than 2 of these 3 things at any given time, you’re doing the wrong crimes
According to Trump's inner circle, he is depressed, out of money, and afraid of going to jail.
You can tell how depressed someone is by how early they put up their Christmas tree. Desperate for a jolt of serotonin, no matter how fleeting it may be. Mine’s been up since 2013
They should test out an electoral college type system with other stuff. 4 out of 5 dentists agree this toothpaste is good but they all live in the same state so chew on this glass bitch
me setting my alarm after the new iOS update
@ManMadeMoon @softreeds Someone do it again with a smaller unit of measure. They’ll all be funny and I’d like to see them
@theprettybridge Apple: We noticed you’re wearing headphones, how’s about we whip up a text message with random words you say and threaten to send it to one contact at random. Would you like that?
Patrick retweeted
In the United States of America, people are protesting “vote counting.”
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