Sara K. Runnels @omgskr
Copywriter, humor writer, screenwriter. Words in @NewYorker, @McSweeneys, @betchesluvthis, @realoverheardLA, your dreams, etc. She/Her. Black Lives Matter sararunnels.com Seattle, WA Joined October 2008-
Tweets12K
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Followers18K
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Following969
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Likes29K
Things I am more likely to be than a Victoria’s Secret Angel: - T.J. Maxx Cherub - Target Fairy - H&M Spiritual Being - Amazon Prime Divine Messenger - Old Navy Wood Nymph - CVS Saint - Instagram Sponsored Ad Pixie - HomeGoods Harpy - Ross Goblin
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Ariel goes to one speed-dating event and immediately opts to stay under the sea where the people aren't. Enter the magical world of single 30something Disney 🪄 yahoo.com/lifestyle/stor…
A piece in Cosmo last week, a piece in REI this week—THE RANGE! rei.com/blog/hike/best…
Sara K. Runnels retweeted
If you’re still going on first dates as the apocalypse looms & the planet slowly ghosts us, let me help you seem down to earth! newyorker.com/humor/daily-sh…
Sara K. Runnels retweeted
You like me but you’re not going to do anything about it?!! What am I, the earth?
Sara K. Runnels retweeted
The Earth Me at happy hour 🤝 Always down for another round Feeling hotter by the minute Definite water shortage Looming natural disaster Feel 4.5 billion yrs old the next day
I understand #TTPDAnthology because after two glasses of wine, I, too, have posted all my Twitter drafts hoping for a few bangers
Sara K. Runnels retweeted
you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
Tay blasting: “you left your typewriter at my apartment” My partner walking through the room: “well that one’s definitely not about Travis”
“They say time plus tragedy equals comedy, but in the modern dating world, time plus tragedy plus comedy equals a potential partner!” ELATED for my very first @Cosmopolitan piece about the comical absurdity (& eventual success) of swiping for a decade!!! cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a6051…
Taylor Swift is proof that dating through your twenties and thirties and not marrying anyone is, at the very least, creatively inspiring & excellent content
When Taylor said, “And my friends all smell like weed or little babies,” every 30something nodded in unison
Love when the internet is just nothing but posts of Taylor lyrics, like one big collective emo AIM away message
Sara K. Runnels retweeted
In Just 10 Short Years (or More), You, Too, Can Find the Love of Your Life! cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a6051…
One of Taylor’s “Easter eggs” is that it’s ultimately better to be on west coast time
(No really I can)
Taylor Swift remembers every feeling she’s ever had, every middle-of-the-night thought and every word a man has uttered to her and I can't even remember if I took one or two melatonin
Sara K. Runnels retweeted
I’m not gullible enough to be lured into a cult but I am nosy enough
Sara K. Runnels retweeted
TurboTax: What did you pay last year? Me: Attention to all the wrong men TurboTax:
Why be a girl boss in her professional era when you can be a girl moss in her paleozoic era
Lucy Huber @clhubes
80K Followers 2K Following editor @mcsweeneys Mother of: 👦🏼👶🏼🐈⬛🐈🐠🐌 Writer? Hungry. Tired.
Sophie Vershbow @svershbow
51K Followers 9K Following Writer: @nymag @esquire @nytimes, etc. Head of Influencer Mkt: @eventbrite. Formerly in publishing. Mostly tweeting dogs & books. She/her. Opinions my own.
Rohita Kadambi @RohitaKadambi
17K Followers 1K Following Bylines: @betches_sup @mcsweeneys @newyorker Finalist: @WBDAccess Comedic Voices. WGA Strong. Booking requests: [email protected]
Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney
14K Followers 2K Following Editor @The_Belladonnas. Writing in The New Yorker, McSweeneys, Gilmore Girls: The Official Cookbook kristenmmm on Insta
Emily Murnane @emily_murnane
31K Followers 1K Following writer & director & producer & editor | often crying on public transit
Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood
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Audrey Burges @Audrey_Burges
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cass city @HeavenlyGrandpa
27K Followers 869 Following i’m cassidy kulhanek i’m a comedian and my dad is very proud of me!
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Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
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limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
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Ariel Dumas @ArielDumas
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Jennie Egerdie @hijennieblair
4K Followers 2K Following 🇨🇦 Author OH BOTHER + Frog and Toad Are Doing Their Best (@vulture Best of 2021) | Words @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | Rep @LauraMazer | she/they
Hannah Grieco @writesloud
25K Followers 7K Following writer, editor, prof. non-zionist Jew. your twitter mom. i love you, okay? 🌈 she/her
Lillian Stone @originalspinstr
8K Followers 4K Following culture writer // author: EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE, out now from @deystreet 💋 @wgaeast shrew 👊
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy
48K Followers 5K Following Hulu, Comedy Central, truTV, NBC, CBS • I joke a lot. • Mastadon: https://t.co/UymYo2qVSc • Bluesky: https://t.co/sRjqLg32ly
Miguel de Icaza ᯅ @migueldeicaza
96K Followers 5K Following Fun Stack Vibing. Started Xamarin, Mono, Gnome; was MSFT/.NET/Xamarin/Mono/VSMac/AI https://t.co/QkbDDWMXRf @migueldeicaza.bsky.social
Funny Tweets @FunnyTweetzz4u
392 Followers 5K Following Look no further for funny tweets. #Humor #Funny #Jokes
Thora @TRAE202GG1K7q
39 Followers 982 Following 風雨を経験しなければ、虹を見ることはできない。磨かれなければ、ダイヤモンドになることはできない。堅持して、奮闘して、夢はついに実現します！頑張って！
Alexa @lexxvd88
109 Followers 255 Following
Celeste Kenney, NCC, .. @celestial_bean_
3K Followers 5K Following @[email protected] @celestial_bean on Post ☆ Democrat • I Value Facts, Research & Science • Deconstructing / Progressive Christian 😷 Pro-Mitigation
Rosemary Compton @rkcomp1221
47 Followers 84 Following Lover of animals, laughing, dancing, messy hair, books, tacos, wine & the Hogs ✌🏻❤🐗
The Dating Times @dating_times
7 Followers 24 Following Convinced there are a lot of Romeos out there. Because all these men will be the death of me.
Cathyleah3 @Cathyleah003
67 Followers 559 Following
Mateusz Rykier @MateuszRykier
18 Followers 108 Following
Ivana Drakulevska �.. @drakulevska
264 Followers 1K Following SEO @ https://t.co/2OK7eC359T | A swell girl that finds life to be much more delightful on a bicycle.
Paper White @paperwhitepaper
130 Followers 228 Following
Jarrell Curtis @lucky7jc
679 Followers 5K Following I'm a Scorpion with a learning disorder. I love women of any color, size and give them honestly and respect if they ever gave me that, especially honestly.
Nicole Heier @lilmissnikkibee
1K Followers 4K Following 5th grade math teacher • KCMO • Master’s Ed. • ESL • Curriculum & Instruction • fresh mouthed mama • sports junkie • free spirit • barre fly • adventure seeker
Catherine Ratcliffe D.. @cratcliffetweet
252 Followers 99 Following It is tiring and unhealthy to lose your Saturday afternoons: but to have them free because you don’t matter, that is much worse. - C. S. Lewis
Emily Anderson @EmilyAnder76
544 Followers 3K Following Artist, Character Design, Illustrations Cover Arts, Comic Book Fanatic.
Chirag Mehta @chirag_mehta
4K Followers 165 Following Analyst and Enterprise SaaS CxO | Cybersecurity and Next-Gen Platforms at Constellation Research | Xoogler | Lifelong Learner
Evan Brown @evanbrown20
891 Followers 2K Following Executive Director, Congressional Progressive Caucus PAC (@electprogress). ⚾️. Tweets are my own. He/him.
Allison Mistakidis �.. @mistakitties
413 Followers 1K Following Cat-loving entrepreneur and hype-woman for your creative endeavours. Content Writer @triplewhale, @Shopify Alum ENTP (She/Her) #BLM
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122 Followers 2K Following Hello my fans all over the country, thanks for yours Support you guys showed me, I really appreciate 🥰
TucciMane @Benezdaddy
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The Independent Autho.. @AuthorNetwork
202K Followers 180K Following The Independent Author Network. Promoting and Supporting Indie Authors since 2010. Our Book of the Year Awards program features $6,000 in cash prizes. #IAN1
OnelastNote @DavidB60627
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804 Followers 2K Following I choose healing. I choose the Light. I choose love. I choose peace.
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JonEWalnuts @JonEWalnuts
899 Followers 1K Following With very few exceptions, politicians are corrupt. You know it, I know it and they know it…
Joshua Caudle @DayInTheLifeofJ
83 Followers 143 Following Fantasy Sports player and traveler. Also, some would say a knucklehead. They would be correct.
Ginny Hogan @ginnyhogan_
165K Followers 6K Following thank you for bearing with me, links to everything below
Lucy Huber @clhubes
80K Followers 2K Following editor @mcsweeneys Mother of: 👦🏼👶🏼🐈⬛🐈🐠🐌 Writer? Hungry. Tired.
Sophie Vershbow @svershbow
51K Followers 9K Following Writer: @nymag @esquire @nytimes, etc. Head of Influencer Mkt: @eventbrite. Formerly in publishing. Mostly tweeting dogs & books. She/her. Opinions my own.
Rohita Kadambi @RohitaKadambi
17K Followers 1K Following Bylines: @betches_sup @mcsweeneys @newyorker Finalist: @WBDAccess Comedic Voices. WGA Strong. Booking requests: [email protected]
Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney
14K Followers 2K Following Editor @The_Belladonnas. Writing in The New Yorker, McSweeneys, Gilmore Girls: The Official Cookbook kristenmmm on Insta
Emily Murnane @emily_murnane
31K Followers 1K Following writer & director & producer & editor | often crying on public transit
NYC 5/16, Stamford 5/.. @hellolanemoore
73K Followers 6K Following "I Thought It Was Just Me" podcast on https://t.co/o1LBLOFvyA🎧Tinder Live🤳🏻Author: You Will Find Your People, How To Be Alone📚Musician @itwasromance
Clare Blackwood @clareblackwood
14K Followers 3K Following Actor/writer. Creator of #LateNightInCanada. Words @thebeaverton @CBCComedy @mcsweeneys etc. she/her https://t.co/LLO4cEpIrL / [email protected]
Audrey Burges @Audrey_Burges
8K Followers 5K Following Author, A HOUSE LIKE AN ACCORDION (2024) & THE MINUSCULE MANSION OF MYRA MALONE (2023); scribbler of humor, flash, & pretty flowers; thinks you're awesome
cass city @HeavenlyGrandpa
27K Followers 869 Following i’m cassidy kulhanek i’m a comedian and my dad is very proud of me!
sleepiest girl in the.. @v_dcknz
9K Followers 3K Following headlinezzzz @theonion @reductress • Hyperfocus: A Neurodivergent Comedy Show @caveatnyc next show May 12 😇
Aubrey Hirsch @aubreyhirsch
41K Followers 3K Following Writer & illustrator of stories, essays and feminist comics. '22 NEA fellow. Work in TIME, Vox, New York Times, Washington Post, etc. Very charming IRL. she/her
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Ariel Dumas @ArielDumas
70K Followers 8K Following IG: @ arieldumaspubicaccount - Head Writer and Supervising Producer for @colbertlateshow
Jennie Egerdie @hijennieblair
4K Followers 2K Following 🇨🇦 Author OH BOTHER + Frog and Toad Are Doing Their Best (@vulture Best of 2021) | Words @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | Rep @LauraMazer | she/they
Hannah Grieco @writesloud
25K Followers 7K Following writer, editor, prof. non-zionist Jew. your twitter mom. i love you, okay? 🌈 she/her
Lillian Stone @originalspinstr
8K Followers 4K Following culture writer // author: EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE, out now from @deystreet 💋 @wgaeast shrew 👊
Cosmopolitan @Cosmopolitan
1.5M Followers 2K Following 3 parts cranberry, 2 parts vodka, .5 part triple sec, .5 part lime.
The ISA @NetworkISA
52K Followers 2K Following The ISA champions screenwriters to agents, managers and producers seeking talent and provides essential resources to elevate your craft and career. Join today!
Emily Gould @EmilyGouldNYmag
4K Followers 210 Following features writer at nymag author of Perfect Tunes and Friendship/ formerly @emilybooks (RIP) married @keithgessen
glizzy mcguire @rosinkal
1K Followers 2K Following a goon for oysters and saisons. senior editor, @thrillist (pitch me: [email protected]) past: @dmagazine; @seattlemet | she/her
ELLE Magazine (US) @ELLEmagazine
6.8M Followers 1K Following Fashion. Beauty. Celebrity. Culture. Follow ELLE on Instagram and YouTube: https://t.co/vwBUoBZgGg https://t.co/M57oKro7cS
i retweet freelance p.. @tianaattride
3K Followers 2K Following just here to RT pitch calls & freelance opportunities. | now social @afarmedia, formerly @voguemagazine, @thrillist, @away, @thisisinsider
Daniel Jones @danjonesnyt
14K Followers 490 Following Editor of Modern Love @nytimes + works on a podcast, TV shows & books
Tristan Hadley @hadley_tristan2
73 Followers 208 Following Class of 27#10 🏈OLB 🏈6’0 170 Bench 235💪⚡️4.8⚡️ HHS🐾 4.35 🎓gpa 🎓https://t.co/V53WqwLnGZ Cell:713-542-0122 email: [email protected]
Meg St-Esprit @MegStEsprit
9K Followers 10K Following All views expressed are my own. #bylines @nytimes @washingtonpost @theatlantic @publicsourcePA @romper @WSJ @pittsburghPG @kidsburghpgh.
Breaking SEA News @breakingseanews
4K Followers 2K Following Curating local news across Seattle, King County, Cascadia Region. Part of 400-city The Breaking News Network, quality community news supporting our civic good
My Ballard @myballard
25K Followers 789 Following Around-the-clock news for Ballard, Fremont, Phinney and Greenwood. North Seattle's #1 news source. Have news? Email [email protected]
Stephanie Land @stepville
47K Followers 2K Following NYT bestselling author of MAID (& inspiration for #MAIDnetflix!). Forthcoming book CLASS: @OneSignalPub Rep’d: @MollieGlick Speaking: @LyceumAgency she/her
mike sacks @michaelbsacks
13K Followers 14K Following Writer. Vanity Fair/New Yorker mags. From MD/DC/VA/New Orleans. Author 10 books/audio comedies. NY Times best-sellers. "Doin' It With Mike Sacks" 'cast. Go O's!
Seattle Fire Dept. @SeattleFire
163K Followers 514 Following News/events from Seattle Fire. Call 911 for emergencies. View the City’s policies at https://t.co/LkqaZFnpQk.
Sarah Jones @yesimsarahjones
16K Followers 1K Following Tony-winning performer/writer/director 🎥 #sellbuydate Four-time mainstage @TED Talker @onthevergenetflix #imavirgo @broadcity @marriagestory
Hannah Krieg @hannahkrieg
7K Followers 265 Following “a ploy to troll the sane” @thestranger | @realchange @crosscut @thedaily
Elizabeth Hackett @LizHackett
87K Followers 2K Following Screenwriter. Redhead. Frequent eater of toast.
Zareen Choudhury @catch_some_zees
361 Followers 873 Following 🇧🇩🇺🇸 ✍🏼 Communications Manager @MITAppInventor 🖋️ Cartoonist + Writer @NewYorker @McSweeneys @TheNib
Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith
98K Followers 6K Following Writer; Television, Comic Books, Book Books. Married to Jennifer Wright. Dad.
Anna Izenman @small_town
630 Followers 938 Following Mother. Nerd. Publicist. Occasional culinary experiments. She/Her
Jenni Konner @JenniKonner
90K Followers 2K Following i write, direct and ep #Girls on HBO. #singledrunkfemale and Welcome to Chippendales on Hulu. good in a crisis
Katie Corvino @kTc0rvin0
4K Followers 1K Following vp of editorial @betchesluvthis 🥯 [email protected] 🥯 previously @EliteDaily @BuzzFeed @intouchweekly @Life_and_Style
Katharine Strange @realstrangekaty
1K Followers 3K Following Writer/activist. Not very active on this site. Check out my linktree to connect on other socials or for my weekly #deconstruction substack
Amber Katz Ellman (am.. @Glambr
31K Followers 4K Following ✨Copywriting business owner. Substack best seller. O.G. 💄blogger. Wordsmith for brands & publications. Mom of Reid. 📧: [email protected].
Holly Theisen-Jones @hollytheisen
539 Followers 735 Following Author of The Green Dumb Guide to Houseplants (2023) from @chroniclebooks. Evergreen humor @mcsweeneys and @PointsinCase.
Amiko Kelly @amikokauderer
11K Followers 2K Following Got a crush on the world • People + Planet | Social media strategist | Advisor Civili Nation | Formerly NASA | Married to @StationCDRKelly
kenzi @kenzianidiot
62K Followers 4K Following follow me for my dads weekly agendas! im also medium funny and have a very cute dog. | marketing at @dropout | she/her
Nicole Byer aka peppa.. @nicolebyer
382K Followers 1K Following See me live? Buy my merch?👇🏾click da link Nailed It & Comedians of the World on Netflix listen to my podcasts Why Won’t You Date Me? 90 Day Bae & Best Friends
Jen Euston @jeneuston
33K Followers 1K Following 3x Emmy winning Casting Director. @GlowNetflix @OITNB @girlshbo + “AMERICAN FICTION” IN THEATERS NOW ~~ACTORS: PLEASE DON'T SUBMIT HERE thank you!
Lindsay Hameroff @HameroffLindsay
625 Followers 469 Following Author of TILL THERE WAS YOU (@StMartinsPress, 2024) | Editor @FrazzledHumor| Probably at the grocery store. Repped by: @MelissaLaurenE
Jessica Reed @GuardianJessica
28K Followers 4K Following Head of narrative, @GuardianUS. I edit long form and essays. How to pitch me: see below. 'We can't stop here, this is bat country' - Hunter S Thompson.
Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy
48K Followers 5K Following Hulu, Comedy Central, truTV, NBC, CBS • I joke a lot. • Mastadon: https://t.co/UymYo2qVSc • Bluesky: https://t.co/sRjqLg32ly
Leigh Munsil @leighmunsil
17K Followers 9K Following I'm Leigh! EIC of the @SAReport. Formerly @cnnpolitics, @politico and @Cronkite_ASU grad. Passionate about the future of local news. ~Made for another world~
Lizzie Molyneux @LizzieMolyneux
13K Followers 2K Following Co-creator @GreatNorthFox • Writer on @BobsBurgersFox • I am the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy. Who the hell are you? • she/her
Molly Jong-Fast @MollyJongFast
1.1M Followers 7K Following subscribe to fast politics https://t.co/8oCGnjfIKm follow me on instagram https://t.co/bZreuBOHrV @vanityfair special correspondent & MSNBC
Heidi N. Moore @moorehn
111K Followers 10K Following Slowwwly backing away from this place I liked. Ex-WSJ, Marketplace, Guardian. moorehn on Bsky. I followed u for pics of your pet. She/her. Hi.
Akilah Green @akilahgreen
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Frank Lesser @sadmonsters
40K Followers 2K Following https://t.co/h63XeaLMdJ https://t.co/7ugu2Eh86c Former Emmy-winning writer for Colbert and Emmy-losing writer for Sedaris
Mara Marini @popgloss
23K Followers 10K Following Actress. #BrandiMaxxxx on @parksandrecnbc, @schittscreek, @Blackishabc, #CHiPSMovie • IG/Snapchat: @popgloss
Meena Harris @meena
629K Followers 2K Following VC Phenomenal Ventures, CEO Phenomenal Media + @reductress, Author of A is For Ambitious, Ambitious Girl, Kamala & Maya’s Big Idea, The Truth About Mrs. Claus
Hannah Winston @hannahwinston
2K Followers 1K Following journalist testing the west coast waters | she/her | previously: @pbpost, @UF, and many more | Floridian in the PNW | say hi: hannahwinston (at) gmail 👋
Austin Tyler Rogers @austintylerro
33K Followers 2K Following Buy My Book! "The Ultimate Book of Pub Trivia by the Smartest Guy in the Bar." Available now. Legacy Verification: I didn't pay for a check.
E. Jean Carroll @ejeancarroll
297K Followers 1K Following Whipsawed by Confusion? ASK E. JEAN at [email protected] Driven Witless? Read my Substack https://t.co/yDL9F5gZpq SNL, Atlantic, VF, NYmag
Andy Bobrow @abobrow
16K Followers 1K Following The greatest living comedy writer of our time. Maybe even the world.
Annie Wu⸆⸉ (all s.. @Annie_Wu_22
47K Followers 2K Following 📍usually PHL | always online // digital + social @AOC @RepAOC @WorkingFamilies @AAPIVictoryFund @HelenGymPHL @johnfetterman @PAStandsUp views my own | she/her
Don't vote for anyone you wouldn't trust with your dog.
this is how it feels to drink a diet coke
Wild that they use a picture of a character doing a full week of sex work to make this point. Vivan Ward was ON THE CLOCK!
girlboss corporate feminism has reinvented the lords day of rest
I’m turning 40 this year and I’m reading this like ? I’m fine idk I’m active and fun, you don’t disintegrate unless you let yourself! I literally go to raves and my body wasn’t sore at all after 3 days of Coachella bc I move and walk a lot every day. Just take care of yourself!…
I need the 30+ girlies to start telling us late 20’s girlies wtf is up the closer we get to 30. I went to the doctor in a panic thinking I was at death’s door and she told me I was just getting older. Ma’am what?! 😭
Blurry proof @bubballie and I went to a lesbian bar in DC last week. Good times were had.
you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.
When MJ from Traitors makes a cameo at Drag Brunch
feel bad for laughing, feel worse for taking a photo, but here we are and there it goes
confused as to why this man isn’t on every morning news segment going
(Turns chair backward) Back in my day “pussy in bio” is what the other students said when I walked into science class
A POET TRAPPED INSIDE A FINANCE GUY
you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
alan showing up to breakfast on the traitors:
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