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Tweets96
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Followers3K
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Following199
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Likes208
Asking New Yorkers “what’s your favorite childhood memory?”
2
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asking New Yorkers if they've ever cheated
these facts will blow your mind
asking New Yorkers “ what’s a news story people aren’t talking about enough?
Harris Alterman retweeted
Artificial Intelligence vs @attell
Harris Alterman retweeted
No insta they did not post a thread I might be interested in
people read the last text from their ex
$10 Hearing Aid Pie vs $100 Hearing Aid Pie
Harris Alterman retweeted
I feel like we’re running out of inspirational stuff
.@this_is_alon plays woman in the park her favorite song
afraid of turning 30? Watch this.
missed connection reunited after 10 years
Harris Alterman retweeted
I know people that do ketamine and I know people that do ketamine therapy and honestly I have no idea what’s going on anymore.
asking New Yorkers if they want Trump or Biden in 2024
Mavis Wanzsky @MWanzsky48978
24 Followers 1K Following I'm Mavis Wanzsky the lottery winner the winning amount of $787.7 million I'm giving out $30,000 to my first 250 followers Dm "Mavis I followed"
Jake Hyatt @JakeOfficer
103 Followers 189 Following
이슬공주🦋princ.. @iseulgongju
77 Followers 928 Following iseul/dani | if you know me in real life no you don’t
HaterDaMagaLu @EduardoRosso18
45 Followers 37 Following Eu vivo pra odiar a magazineluiza e a casas bahia. Ufrgs Física - Licenciatura
Professor Yearnpost @AEA850856790187
213 Followers 60 Following Send I'm on a moose messy jays: https://t.co/UUfMUsmV06
Evan Duzan @EvanDuzan
220 Followers 344 Following
meagab @yungsoybeann
395 Followers 702 Following unironically ironic and canonically iconic. always online.
Sentry Jman @SentryJman
103 Followers 5K Following Eat the Rich, Feed the Poor Free Palestine 🇵🇸 He/They 22
Nymixe @NymMarrow
5 Followers 36 Following (Attempting to be an) Author. En-Asha is all. Nymin, Nym, or Nymixe will do. Non-binary. Insanity’s incarnation on earth. Stars & Wind guide you.
kritkrat @TheManMurray
67 Followers 1K Following
Zack Gardner @zgardner11
1K Followers 1K Following Advertising copy goose ✏️🐦 // @jamtarts hostage/ST holder ⚽ // Tam O' Shanter man 🐴 Ads, sport and mostly nonsense tbqfh.
James Hamilton @hamil250
73 Followers 142 Following
accord @accord354
21 Followers 101 Following
Kyle LeRoy @KyleLeRoy
201 Followers 1K Following There was something stupid here before. Probably after as well.
Arbor Gay @elpresidenterey
724 Followers 733 Following thee official they/them causing may/hem || former Miss Kennedy Center Continental || 1/3 of Thiccy Mouse fuck house|| known enemy of noom || self obsessed diva
seismicGASBAG @SGasbag
69 Followers 44 Following
fiona apple bottom je.. @cadenraps
567 Followers 4K Following i like to be silly with my pals he/him/his/boi/bruh/dude :)
Brandon Schmittling @b_schmittling
614 Followers 2K Following Designer, educator and lifelong learner based in DC. Be valued and valuable. Say [email protected]. 🌴 https://t.co/ijEdrrkqUa
Jim @jdpress
290 Followers 980 Following Hot Dog Hero Emeritus. Dam engineer and proud co-founder of a Star Wars Book Club.
no, the other willie @WLOLWillie
113 Followers 275 Following I make sure people know I'm being serious.
Martin A. Padilla @studio_PAD
39 Followers 142 Following Architect and advocate for the designer in everyone.
Jack Derwin @jack_derwin
936 Followers 2K Following Captain of Industry (self-styled) | Journo @CapitalBrief | Secure tips to jackderwin (at) protonmail (dot) com or Signal (jack.19)
Abby Haley @abbatronhaley
277 Followers 1K Following
Thomas McGrath @Envark
76 Followers 516 Following
no jawns @NoJawns
49 Followers 70 Following
alien superstar 👽�.. @BEServing
305 Followers 2K Following
Thomas Larkin @TLarkinJR
77 Followers 1K Following
Brad Campbell @brad_camp_mke
256 Followers 273 Following #OnePride #FearTheDeer #MUBB #NUFC #Braves Used to either tweet from a burner, or tweet for my job. Both felt stupid. This does too.
Live...Werk...Adipose @TableDesNuits
204 Followers 2K Following Black Lives Matter. "Ready or not...Here we...dance?!" Christian leftist milquetoast. He/him
Sophie @SophieOCFS
58 Followers 375 Following
Cate Malek @catemalek
294 Followers 708 Following Runs the Copy Desk at @AJplus, Co-editor of Palestine Speaks (McSweeney’s/Verso). | Probably off contemplating commas somewhere
President-elect heyde.. @heydere
108 Followers 240 Following Still searching for the meaning of life. Fan of music, historical dramas and everything that makes me laugh.
diimzeeminaj @diimzeeminaj
60 Followers 77 Following
Skyler Higley @skyler_higley
26K Followers 997 Following standup/staff writer @midnight. formerly CONAN, @theonion.
Caleb Synan @calebsynan
6K Followers 881 Following Hey it’s me. Caleb. I'm a comedian and an idiot. Listen to my podcast 👇 @whatsitpod
Collie Tyrrell @columtyrrell
28K Followers 2K Following Mostly clips. Click my pinned tweet. The Colum Tyrrell Podcast. Host Tuesday Night Comedy in NYC. Live dates and all other stuff on my website.
Carmen Lagala @CarmenLagala
8K Followers 2K Following Stand-up comic seen on Colbert and @cysknyc. @carmstagrams on Instagrams and Threads
Writers Guild of Amer.. @WGAWest
98K Followers 2K Following A labor union representing writers of motion pictures, television, radio, and internet programming. (PS: we only have the blue check for the character count)
Writers Guild of Amer.. @WGAEast
57K Followers 3K Following Writers Guild of America East, @AFLCIO, is a labor union representing writers in film, television, news, podcasts, and online media. #1u
Mark Volinski @mvolinski
48 Followers 144 Following Full time eel tamer. Part time pony wrangler. Pony wrangling by appointment only. Co-host of El Clasico Podcastico (@epodcastico). Editor of https://t.co/4k5zE5O9XE.
Daniel With The Balan.. @withthebalance
114 Followers 162 Following Music to raise the vibration. Spiritual Awakening 🦋 Artist Journey. #ProducerDojo Playlist Curator Spiritual Awakening Music
justcomenyc @justcomenyc
348 Followers 443 Following Free comedy show Tuesdays @ The Graham in East Williamsburg 💦 hosts @NolaweeMengist @ColleenGenevie4 & @kendall_farrell
Cowboy Bob Hansen @bobhansenjokes
1K Followers 1K Following Stand-up comedian for some reason. Commander of the Bob Squad.
Gracie Canaan @gracie_canaan
1K Followers 1K Following horrible kisser | inquiries: [email protected] | Three Six Zero
Denver Comedy Fan @ComedyDenver
120 Followers 154 Following enthusiast for all of Denver comedy except for the Rockies bullpen that shit is tragic
Jim Hickox 🎪 @Jimhickox
912 Followers 812 Following President of Bigtop Studios: Comedy Production and Studio Financing. Founding member The Grawlix; 2015 & 2016 Andy Kaufman Award Runner-up
Tom Achilles @TomAchilles
636 Followers 412 Following
Brandon Vincent Jacks.. @Engl_4Criminals
1K Followers 736 Following Brandon is a comedian and English teacher. Host of the podcast "English for Criminals". Album Pre-Sales available now. https://t.co/NYwXZH9SH8
Josh Burstein @JBurst
2K Followers 747 Following Standup comedy and Impact Entertainment™️ Host of “U Need To Know This!” with @Mashable Former creative for Obama / Biden / DNC. Badger!
Matthew Levy @MattLevy51
14K Followers 14K Following Stand up comic. Sketch maker. Newsletter writer. Married to @annaphilomena. Crouton appreciator. Writes profiles. Check Medium link below and DM if interested.
Bob Gurnett @BobIsntFunny
8K Followers 1K Following Comedian. NBA Free Agent. Moron. For booking: [email protected]
&y S&ford @AndySandford
4K Followers 2K Following ATLien. jokist 🎤CONAN, Late Late Show, Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Not to name drop, but I have Crohn’s. Album/Special, Basket Case, out now. link below
Tony Deyo 🎙️ @tonydeyo
1K Followers 911 Following Stand-up comedian from CONAN (@TeamCoco), and The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Heard daily on @SiriusXMComedy
Randall Otis @RandallOtisTV
30K Followers 947 Following just messing around. writer at the daily show. rich parents
Dan Perlman @danjperlman
10K Followers 670 Following stand-up, writer, director person || co-created showtime's flatbush misdemeanors
till wilghman @tillwilghman
1K Followers 1K Following former blue check || really awkward but has nice eyebrows
Taj @BicepOsorio
400 Followers 328 Following
David DeBoskey @DavidDeboskey
90 Followers 63 Following I like planning urban areas, watching the Sombor Shuffle and reading old books. Golf and free parking are bad. I resisted BIG Gown.
Kyle Pogue @pogueisfunny
551 Followers 344 Following The greatest collection of fragmented sentences that you've ever.
Wally Wallace @wallythewallace
198 Followers 439 Following Writer, promoter, producer, director, musician, and Director of Content at Sexpot Comedy.
Reena Calm @ReenaCalm
4K Followers 1K Following ✨CALMEDY✨album out now!! Comedy has always been my dream, I don't care where it takes me. BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS, and please dream about me being successful 💚
saddrawingsbyjace @JaceAvery
9K Followers 1K Following I’m 19 years old and I draw shit. Listen to my podcast @lemonpartyshow. I am woke and racist.
Vail Comedy Festival @vailcomedyfest
526 Followers 727 Following We'll be back Memorial Day Weekend 2024 for a third year, get more info at https://t.co/qVTsDfDcv9
NYTIMES BEST SMELLING.. @TallentSam
12K Followers 249 Following Listen to Chubby Behemoth: https://t.co/nHqeEtlJru BUY MY BOOK: https://t.co/PdYhrzq3zY [email protected]
Denver Comedy Undergr.. @denvercomedyund
279 Followers 83 Following Comedy Club, reinvented. Always funny-never a two item minimum. In Denver's Cap Hill.
Rebecca Robinson @BeccaRobs
617 Followers 1K Following if it's an emergency plz hang up and dial 911 // comedian, writer, erratic
Bret Raybould @BretRaybould
2K Followers 1K Following The World's First Publicly-Traded Comedian @ https://t.co/GN3TfZw8rK Watch my debut hour special here 👇👇👇
Donnie Sengstack @donsengstack
2K Followers 911 Following Magooby's Joke House New Comedian of the Year 2015
Pedro Salinas @salinas_pedro
2K Followers 734 Following Comedian (HBO Max) // Co-creator and director of DEEP LEARNING with JT Parr // co-host of HELLO, DEAR WITH PEDRO AND CHARLES
appreciate it, Shelia. Thanks for being such a great fan all these years!
If the girth master visits you in your dreams it means you’ve been chosen to have your penis grow
Job search is going great! No distractions!
Tip If you want to take your jacket off in the middle seat, dislocate both of your shoulders.
I don’t want to brag, but I am financially in a place where I no longer have to steal toilet paper from bars
@JuddApatow what do they have planned for next season?
@harrisalterman Who ARE you? I love your brain so much. 😂
@harrisalterman the change of topic in the middle is so good
We love your pitch but we’re already developing a feature about bubbles please email if you have other ideas
Texting all my female friends in NYC “Just so you know, I am totally against the Girl Puncher.”
I have been selected for the half time game on the court at the Nuggets game. It is Simon Says and I will be playing to win.
MAGA really wasted his money like that
taping my first album + special monday may 27th at 7 & 9pm at TV Eye. 😭 please get tickets now in the bio we gonna sell this MF out!!!!!!!!!!
@harrisalterman @Pilnok I want a TV show based on the ex of the guy in the blue flannel.
Well I’m not doing anything without my coffee
No insta they did not post a thread I might be interested in
ANNOUNCEMENT @NetflixIsAJoke @RoastBattle
More Phish shit
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