Epcot Fitzgerald @epcotfitzgerald
A Selfie of the Artist as an Aging Man-Child ourblogcanbeyourlife.blogspot.com Them Thar Hills Joined December 2012-
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Following343
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*reads about monkey pox *looks heavenward and makes the "can we get the check" sign
Are you a Francis Mallmann recipe? Cuz...YA BURNT!
A lot of people forget that, in Dirty Dancing, that run/jump dance move at the end was the only legal form of abortion at the time.
There's a special kind of pride in knowing exactly when to sing "This is not kosher!" during Rock the Casbah.
If you love how each Marvel character has a signifying characteristic and how they all make surprise appearances in each other's stories... Oh boy, do I have the series for you...
Thank you, Cameo, for letting me know there's still time to book Bret The Hitman Hart for Mother's Day.
Last night my social media feed was full of Roe v Wade's impending overturn and Met Gala pics...Not even sure how dystopian literature differs from literary realism at this point.
If you don't got them saggy sleeves, are you even a wizard?
I have never been in your kitchen, yet I say the following with full confidence: the expiration date on your spices and herbs passed by a long, long time ago.
Probably the most awesome thing about the 90s was that kale hadn't been invented yet.
I wouldn't have gone with the letter C to mean NOT COVID. I would have gone with literally any other letter.
I can't even remember the last time I saw a poor person wearing a barrel.
Imagine a cake-pop except with a meatball. That's what I look like in every photo.
🎶 Esperanto...why don't you venu al viaj prudentoj...🎶
Do computer hackers know that they don't have to do their hacking in a dark room while wearing a ski mask? #istock
Christina Williams @williams_r94393
220 Followers 4K Following Tasha specializes in adult products (silicone dolls) and provides you with the best quality service, please visit the Telegram channel for details.
Aniston @Aniston497065
6 Followers 233 Following
Tihough @tihough65640
129 Followers 3K Following
Laci Masgalas @masga_la
37 Followers 5K Following
Mia-rose Bonds @rose_mia18555
33 Followers 5K Following
Blimbus Blombo @theoddassity
219 Followers 772 Following God made heaven so he could escape from me.
David Fink @dfink929
204 Followers 429 Following Opinions expressed are probably stolen from more interesting ppl. Diamond Dog wanna be…Fore please
Bob Roberds @battybabyboy
216 Followers 976 Following
Priya Dewan Doty @PriyaDewan
624 Followers 1K Following techie, marketer, writer https://t.co/MU3H9ii9Vm…
Shannon McLeod @OcqueocSAM
2K Followers 2K Following Author of WHIMSY (@longdaypress ‘21) & NATURE TRAIL STORIES (@thirtywestph ‘23). Repped by @RGerberAgent. Proud public school teacher. she/her.
Sunny Blaylock @MalaysiaSunny
217 Followers 724 Following Instructional designer, sometime expat, mom, curious wanderer always in need of a project.
Keetha DePriest @keetha403
388 Followers 2K Following I love writing longhand, art supplies, Christmas lights, books, and birthday cake.
Real Music Creatures @Music_Creatures
125 Followers 516 Following Real Music Creatures, Promoter of Real Independent Music of ALL genres. Tweet those links!
TrvlBug @Sailnlass
418 Followers 4K Following Our greatest happiness lies in practicing a talent that we were meant to use.... Goethe
Rock Bottom @therock1982
256 Followers 3K Following
Matt Goshert @mattgoshert
1K Followers 2K Following Chaotic Neutral. Pro from Dover. Transit Nerd. Outnumbered and Unafraid. #crew96 #itfc #cbj #afcrd Obviously Beekeeping Age.
Kurt @Kurtdunsing
43 Followers 107 Following
Z aka Zeus @Vstateofmind
2K Followers 5K Following Z aka Zeus fan page/Music/Memes/Good Vibe$ ⚡️⚡️⚡️
Donelle 👱🏼�.. @donelleu
754 Followers 2K Following my mantras: I am worthy of love • I can’t change the past but I can keep moving forward • I will find what I need
Seth Sawyers @sethsawyers
568 Followers 759 Following Who doesn't want to live with the brisk motor of his heart singing. Writer, fiction, nonfiction, Baltimore.
Alessandra Rizzo @laciupa
213 Followers 946 Following I try not to take myself too seriously. Seriously.
GMA @GMA88
793 Followers 2K Following Author, Orioles fan, father of 3, attorney, husband. Writer for @McSweeneys, @PointsInCase, @SplitSider, @1966Journal, @WritersBone, @WeeklyHumorist
Anjuman Ara @AnjumanAra15
86 Followers 615 Following
Masud Alam @MasudAl23000261
66 Followers 597 Following
Joshua Livingston @OmahaLivingston
251 Followers 310 Following An All-American trucker gets dragged into a centuries-old mystical battle in Chinatown
future paris hilton @futureparishilt
39 Followers 675 Following
Katelyn Howell @RvsKatelyn
107 Followers 569 Following 💕Esthetician@ Monroe's Salon and Spa 💕 Free Lance Makeup Artist 💋💄
Nasir P @nasirp6
12 Followers 440 Following
Nthabiseng Mokabe @NMokabe
0 Followers 20 Following
Little Nin~o @assdamnboy
1 Followers 36 Following I may not be able to tie my shoes but I can fuck yo bitch
Mark D. White @profmdwhite
4K Followers 3K Following Professor, author, and fan of comics, movies, and music. New books on antitrust and Daredevil, and 2d edn of my Cap book coming in July! https://t.co/3pm2pOpGyW
The Wilson @3Legit5Wilson
99 Followers 198 Following he/him tomagotchi mom @TheWilsonSneeze tweets when I sneeze. https://t.co/bePx9k17Xq
Scott Weaver @scottweaver
530 Followers 1K Following “Art unmakes the world made by work" -- Eula Biss
kelli jo ford @kellijoford
2K Followers 3K Following Debut novel-in-stories: CROOKED HALLELUJAH (@groveatlantic 2020). 2022 NEA fellow. Agent: Adam Eaglin. Citizen of the Cherokee Nation. she/her. Not really here.
bob dylan apologist @Bdriftmke
559 Followers 1K Following Let Me Bore You to Death, Baby!!! • 🎸/🎤 in @BreakupTour • he/him • "all for nothing (forget it piper, it's halloweentown)" out now!!!
Rebecca Makkai @rebeccamakkai
74K Followers 3K Following Pulitzer finalist for THE GREAT BELIEVERS; new novel, I HAVE SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU, out now. Artistic Director at @storystudio. ADHD. Daughter of a refugee.
Priya Dewan Doty @PriyaDewan
624 Followers 1K Following techie, marketer, writer https://t.co/MU3H9ii9Vm…
Emily St. J. Mandel @EmilyMandel
42K Followers 2K Following Six novels, including Sea of Tranquility, The Glass Hotel, and Station Eleven. Instagram: @emilystjohnmandel.
SARAH SQUIRM @SarahSquirm
106K Followers 3K Following 🤡 sarah sherman on @nbcsnl 🪱 😛 come see me on tour 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄 + 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐇! 🧠
regular steve albini @electricalWSOP
92K Followers 190 Following recording engineer who plays billiards and poker, and eats like a viking I reflexively block blue check accounts and promoted tweets @electricalwsop.bsky.social
Kendra Fortmeyer @kendraffe
4K Followers 1K Following Novel: HOLE IN THE MIDDLE 🍩 (@soho_teen). Stories: LeVar Burton Reads, Pushcart Prize, Best American Nonreq'd, One Story &tc. Clarion '16. Believes in you.
The New Yorker @NewYorker
8.8M Followers 405 Following Unparalleled reporting and commentary on politics and culture, plus humor and cartoons, fiction and poetry. Get our Daily newsletter: https://t.co/CW0Z2jHao9
ellie schnitt! @holy_schnitt
556K Followers 593 Following (e)girl next door• https://t.co/jHrUCSZWSj• podcaster!! • she/her • IG: ellie_schnitt • business inquiries: @unitedtalent [email protected]
Learning Scientists @AceThatTest
30K Followers 2K Following Here to help you learn more. NOT trying to sell you products. Tweets by @DrSumeracki @PsyDocCindy @pimpmymemory @DrSilverFox RT is not endorsement!
Celisa Steele @celisasteele
212 Followers 167 Following Poet and thinker living in the Paris of the Piedmont
Make My Day, a Podcas.. @MakeMyDayPod
808 Followers 65 Following Make My Day is a comedy game show podcast hosted by @joshgondelman and produced by Radio Point! New episodes every Tuesday!
Duchess Goldblatt @duchessgoldblat
55K Followers 608 Following BECOMING DUCHESS GOLDBLATT (HMH; 2020). Beloved inspirational author of FEASTING ON THE CARCASSES OF MY ENEMIES: A LOVE STORY; AN AXE TO GRIND.
Department of State @StateDept
6.4M Followers 344 Following Welcome to the U.S. Department of State Twitter account. Follow @SecBlinken for more from the Secretary. For all Department accounts: https://t.co/VpbtF1LASc.
Rachel Yoder @RachelYoder
7K Followers 2K Following NIGHTBITCH @doubledaybooks | editor of @draftjournal |“Bursting with vulgarity" | Drake's Shoe
Audrey Burges @Audrey_Burges
8K Followers 5K Following Author, A HOUSE LIKE AN ACCORDION (2024) & THE MINUSCULE MANSION OF MYRA MALONE (2023); scribbler of humor, flash, & pretty flowers; thinks you're awesome
Amber Tamblyn @ambertamblyn
139K Followers 172 Following Author of 7 books. Dark Sparkler. Any Man. Listening in the Dark. Join the Listening in the Dark Substack community at https://t.co/zNwX5tHhDY
Arianne Shahvisi 🇵.. @ArianneShahvisi
3K Followers 530 Following Philosopher of gender, race, borders | Views rarely coincide with those of my bosses | Author of Arguing for a Better World https://t.co/R267wpATVY
silly child @ma_boswell
607 Followers 1K Following Probably unfriended by your mom | she/her Words in: @TBQuarterly @jmwwjournal & @hobartpulp | CNF flash editor @goodlifelitmag
Shannon McLeod @OcqueocSAM
2K Followers 2K Following Author of WHIMSY (@longdaypress ‘21) & NATURE TRAIL STORIES (@thirtywestph ‘23). Repped by @RGerberAgent. Proud public school teacher. she/her.
Hilary Leichter @hilsaphina
3K Followers 1K Following Just a bagel on a plate of onion rolls. Pronounced “Liked her!” Rarely on Twitter. Books: TEMPORARY (2020), TERRACE STORY (2023) she/her
President Biden @POTUS
34.8M Followers 5 Following 46th President of the United States, husband to @FLOTUS, proud dad & pop. Tweets may be archived: https://t.co/HDhBZBkKpU Text me: (302) 404-0880
Jen Psaki @jrpsaki
1.4M Followers 1K Following Mom of 2, Host of @InsideWithPsaki on Sundays at Noon ET on @MSNBC. For more on Say More Book tour: https://t.co/uLFVqXDYXi
Patricia Lockwood @TriciaLockwood
108K Followers 1K Following hardcore berenstain bare-it-all | [email protected]
Cara Blue Adams @carablueadams
6K Followers 3K Following YOU NEVER GET IT BACK, a NYT Editors' Choice. Work in @newyorker, @believermag, @grantamag. Associate professor at @TempleUniv. Former co-editor of TSR.
dylan gelula @DylanGelula
59K Followers 880 Following rhodes scholar studying how surgeons can use robotics for political evil
Paddington @paddingtonbear
421K Followers 104 Following Living in London, originally from Peru. Always keep a marmalade sandwich under your hat in case of emergencies.
Katie Runde @khrunde
1K Followers 2K Following writer, mom, podcast and tote bag enthusiast. author of THE SHORE (@ScribnerBooks 5.24.22) she/her pronounced like “fun me”
Norman Lear @TheNormanLear
112K Followers 415 Following Producer of All in the Family, Good Times, One Day At A Time, The Jeffersons, Spinal Tap, Stand By Me, Princess Bride - Author of Even This I Get to Experience
Jon Stewart @jonstewart
1.7M Followers 2 Following
Secretary Antony Blin.. @SecBlinken
2.2M Followers 51 Following Husband, dad, (very) amateur guitarist, and the 71st Secretary of State serving under the leadership of @POTUS Biden.
Susanna Hoffs @SusannaHoffs
200K Followers 470 Following Founding member of The Bangles. I like to make things.
Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg
5.6M Followers 3K Following Autistic climate justice activist Born at 375 ppm
Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker
202K Followers 5K Following Emmy-nominated TV writer and comedian. Wrote a book about games and now writing another. Newsletter: https://t.co/9mOMgDuvfv Email: mikedruckerisdead @ gmail .com
Uncle Deadly @unclebydeadly
51K Followers 50 Following Get thee to Twitter where I, Uncle Deadly, deliciously dish about great acting, high fashion, and absolutely everything in between.
Pepé the King Prawn @SpicyPrawn
101K Followers 68 Following The official Twitter handle of Pepe the King Prawn, okay.
Kate Willett @katewillett
57K Followers 4K Following Comedian, Author, Podcaster (NETFLIX, Colbert) - "a perfect blend of smart and filthy" - SF Weekly - Tour Dates on Website! New Special Coming Soon!
The worst part is that I was going to get my wife an abortion for Mother's Day.
happy celiac awareness month, you should be aware of this condiiton even if it’s a naan-issue for you
If Better Call Saul is really set in 2004, how come no one is ever talking about Homestar Runner?
Is there anyone who is lied to more than a dental hygienist? "How often do I floss? I'd say 3 to 4 times a day. I'm flossing right now, actually."
exposing my kids to their heritage and it's just Homestar Runner and swedish fish
Anytime I see someone with a mask and unfogged glasses I bow to them, because I have clearly just met a fucking powerful wizard
With all this shit going on we better be in the next bible
men, what is stopping you from looking like this??
The only astronaut who didn’t hook up on her mission to Mars
My new year’s resolution is to be kinder to myself and stop being such a lazy piece of shit.
I'd like to go to a luxury resort where instead of golf and tennis courts, there's a gorgeous library with crackling fires and the comfiest chairs and servers bring you drinks and canapes while you read all day long.
2022 is going to be terrible. Oh, I know. I say that every year. But I'm always right!
I went to Catholic school where I was told I was BORN IN MORAL DEBT TO GOD so I think it’s okay if all schoolkids learn that the people who did slavery in America were white?
hear me out: what if every single one of us didn’t pay our student loans. like what would they do just keep calling us
@epcotfitzgerald This country is living two realities that are completely unrelated to each other.
will i get the new covid if I haven't seen the first one?
Today I'm gonna find an incorrigible person then corrige the shit out of 'em.
You want me to write a thesis? The thing that killed the Minotaur?
It seems like boycotting #Starbucks for their union busting would be the EASIEST boycott imaginable. There's better coffee literally everywhere
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