✨✨ @EVA24011
It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit. United States Joined March 2022-
Tweets27K
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Followers15K
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Following9K
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Likes58K
I told you there were levels to my love so stop going up and move further down.
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You can’t find happiness in another person but you can find it in potatoes
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I’m not proud of who I become when I’m overly tired AND hungry.
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All my attention in exchange for all your adoration?
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Women love men with grey hair becuase it means we are about to die
What you doing for the weekend? Me: Just wrecking some shit.
When he’s super funny, buys me all the snacks, and is obsessed with me.
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Calm down, we’re all on twitter. We’ve all wasted our lives. We’re all watching tentacle porn with a guy named Hunter in a Kia Sorento. Wait, what?
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Generally, I think social media is like the machine gun, an innovation that has no upside -- but I have to admit this here remix is awesome
Generally, I think social media is like the machine gun, an innovation that has no upside -- but I have to admit this here remix is awesome
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“No Babies Allowed”😂 The NBA in the 80’s & 90’s😏🏀
Some days all I really need is a shoulder to rest my legs on.
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Oh no, I have Freddy Mercury poisoning.
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What? That’s what it means, right?
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I've never applied makeup while driving, but I have eaten an entire rotisserie chicken.
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A Fuck up your sleep schedule to talk to me longer kinda guy
You have thigh gap, I have bra gap. Baby, we ain’t the same.
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My kids put a mermaid tail on the dog 😭I’m dying
Accepting that the man you fell in love with never really loved you is closure.
Jumpin into the weekend jumpsuit 💥
Someone take my phone away, I’m reply girl-ing so badly this morning 🙈
I don’t like to call it revenge per se…returning the favor sounds so much nicer
Whenever I hear people are talking about me behind my back, I smile, because I love attention.
They took their sweet ass time crossing the road!
The way a woman knows within 5 mins whether a man has made a woman orgasm… (𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘵: 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵. 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘴𝘮 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘺𝘵𝘩.)
@EVA24011 I’m so confident we winning tonight and if we do I’m gonna give the mailman a big wet smooch tmr
I thought this is where you came to meet good genuine people, not creepy crawly mother fuckers.
Threading the needle between the rain! Chicago golf!
My toxic trait is waving to you when both your hands are full of grocery bags
I’m not proud of who I become when I’m overly tired AND hungry.
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