Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo
Send me pictures of your dog. former writer @fallontonight Joined May 2009-
Tweets3K
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Followers521
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Following1K
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Likes22K
This perp walk has everything -Italian eyebrows -Mayor under investigation for bribery -Cop who looks like he just bought that NYPD hat at a bodega on the way -Guy decked out in gear worth millions plus 7-dollar sunglasses from Dicks Sporting Goods
Just walked by a squirrel sitting inside someone’s Christmas nativity scene but I laughed so hard I scared him away before I could take a photo and caption it with a pun so upsetting the WGA would finally ask me to leave
Italians haven’t rallied around one of their own like this since Tommy DeVito and all he murdered was his own career
Looking forward to the trial being moved to Long Island so that he can truly be judged by a jury of his peers (Italians with guns)
Me watching the Yankees in the 5th inning: Well, nothing will ever feel this bad. Juan Soto:
Genuinely cannot wait for Budweiser’s AI Super Bowl commercial
Coca Cola’s annual Christmas commercial has been created with AI this time.
She just got the job but she’s already hard at work making a pantsuit from 101 Dalmatians.
President-elect Donald Trump has picked South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem to lead his Department of Homeland Security, sources say cnn.it/3Z1y2Zp
AND WHILE I’M HERE, FYI, you can’t just *ASK* for a sample, it’s greedy and rude. You’re GIVEN a sample if the employee thinks you’re beautiful and pure of heart
Forget Bumble, it’s time to start looking confused at a Boar’s Head deli counter
I walk my dog on Long Island free from the anxiety that I could bump into @thedogist at any moment in an outfit so horrific it’d make the @dieworkwear guy retire
This actually tracks cuz no women want to watch you.
Every Olympic diver should win gold for being able to jump off a 30 foot platform and then hear a judge say their splash was a little too big
Tim Walz is gonna be the first VP to run on free school lunches, expanding background checks and a national thermostat minimum of 74 degrees.
Yes, I will do anything to get the grocery checkout person to like me. I’m passing back the divider with haste, I’m running to get items the person in front of me forgot, I’m double bagging these myself and my card is OUT and READY!!!! *therapist jots down a longggggg note*
Just a heads up that anyone can get an Olympic rings tattoo. They don’t even check if you actually accomplished anything
Everyday I give my dog treats like an Italian uncle handing out crisp fives at a birthday party, “…here’s a little something just fa you.”
*song comes on shuffle with a message I want to hear* divine intervention, a note from beyond, the universe at work *song comes on shuffle with the opposite message I want to hear* meaningless, immediate skip, what is shuffle anyway, frankly none of my business
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
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Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
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John Haskell @DrPemby
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Nick Dyer @nicholasddyer
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Nathan Cykiert @nathancykiert
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Jill Twiss @jilltwiss
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Deborah Hancock @DeboryyHancock
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views represent my em... @AdamAbramson
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Stevie McDunn @StevieMcDunn
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Can you Call ME Joker... @chiquitapr_25
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Pauly Vercillo @PaulyVercillo
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Sam @sm_uln
219 Followers 755 Following
After Work with Tucke... @AfterWorkShow
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ChrisTartaro @ChrisTartaro
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Ben Kronengold @benkgold
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🍀EstherG🍀 @Neuro2343
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Eric Litz @elitz25
161 Followers 547 Following Operations Director for the Democratic Party of Illinois
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Laurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
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Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins
1.0M Followers 3K Following TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies Instagram: https://t.co/OWAlzVWjle
Jimmy Pardo @jimmypardo
26K Followers 668 Following Promotional posts for JIMMY PARDO! For the occasional joke & more I’m https://t.co/RbsDIMO7zS on Blue Sky!
demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon
218K Followers 381 Following director, comedian, musician, writer (the good place, new warriors, late late show, amber ruffin show, strange planet, neon, ghostbusters, + more)
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82K Followers 3K Following I write for TV and pick up my dog’s shit with a little bag.
Todd Glass @ToddGlass
117K Followers 1K Following The Principal from Ten Year Old Tom on HBO Max. Show dates on my website.👇🏻
Mike Drucker @MikeDrucker
183K Followers 5K Following Emmy-nominated writer and comedian. My book, GOOD GAME; NO REMATCH available now. Newsletter: https://t.co/9mOMgDv353 Email: mikedruckerisdead @ gmail .com
DaveHolmes.bsky.socia... @DaveHolmes
73K Followers 3K Following Editor-at-Large, Esquire. Author, Party of One. Co-host, Homophilia. Host, Troubled Waters. WAITING FOR IMPACT available NOW!
Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein
140K Followers 3K Following Emmy-losing Writer/Director/Comedian (#Shrinking, @nbcSNL, #StrangePlanet, @HBO, @Netflix, @Hulu, @Dreamworks, @JimmyKimmelLive, @NewYorker)
Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp
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George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace
758K Followers 5K Following The Official George Wallace Twitter. Trying to serve it up with hot sauce for you. God bless.
John Haskell @DrPemby
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Mike Schmidt @The40YearOldBoy
3K Followers 584 Following Selling Out, Two Hundred Eighty Characters At A Time... Host of The 40 Year Old Boy podcast: https://t.co/OWGdYb5bHx
April Richardson @Apey
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Scott Aukerman @ScottAukerman
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SARAH SQUIRM @SarahSquirm
119K Followers 3K Following 🪱 😛 Sarah Squirm: 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄 + 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐇! on hbo 🧠
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12K Followers 14 Following The best place to find every Yankees home run since 2013 • Posting 2026 homers daily • Not affiliated with the Yankees • Ran by @BronxBmbrz / @WayneTrain25MVP
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111K Followers 1K Following Very sarcastic & the tallest of my friends. President of Barstool NY 🇺🇸 Taylor Watch🕛 WhineWithKelly🍷 @barstoolsports 🌙
Mitch Goldich 🐙 @mitchgoldich
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1.1M Followers 2K Following We all are Citizens of the World. What's good for you, must be good for all. If you are lost, share a plate of food with a stranger...you will find who you are.
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