Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

Send me pictures of your dog. former writer @fallontonight Joined May 2009

Tweets

3K
Followers

521
Following

1K
Likes

22K

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

This perp walk has everything -Italian eyebrows -Mayor under investigation for bribery -Cop who looks like he just bought that NYPD hat at a bodega on the way -Guy decked out in gear worth millions plus 7-dollar sunglasses from Dicks Sporting Goods

0 3 14 2K 1

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Just walked by a squirrel sitting inside someone’s Christmas nativity scene but I laughed so hard I scared him away before I could take a photo and caption it with a pun so upsetting the WGA would finally ask me to leave

0 0 0 167 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Your honor I’d like to call my first witness

0 0 1 126 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Italians haven’t rallied around one of their own like this since Tommy DeVito and all he murdered was his own career

0 0 0 151 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Looking forward to the trial being moved to Long Island so that he can truly be judged by a jury of his peers (Italians with guns)

0 0 5 346 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Me watching the Yankees in the 5th inning: Well, nothing will ever feel this bad. Juan Soto:

0 0 0 330 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Genuinely cannot wait for Budweiser’s AI Super Bowl commercial

DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm

2 years ago

Coca Cola’s annual Christmas commercial has been created with AI this time.

6K 3K 68K 61.0M 10K

0 0 1 311 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Is this what it feels like to be the dude in a situationship

0 0 1 138 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

She just got the job but she’s already hard at work making a pantsuit from 101 Dalmatians.

CNN @CNN

2 years ago

President-elect Donald Trump has picked South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem to lead his Department of Homeland Security, sources say cnn.it/3Z1y2Zp

520 188 956 1.6M 60

0 0 2 235 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

AND WHILE I’M HERE, FYI, you can’t just *ASK* for a sample, it’s greedy and rude. You’re GIVEN a sample if the employee thinks you’re beautiful and pure of heart

0 0 0 150 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Forget Bumble, it’s time to start looking confused at a Boar’s Head deli counter

1 0 4 827 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

@ColumboScreens @jimmypardo

0 0 1 32 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

I walk my dog on Long Island free from the anxiety that I could bump into @thedogist at any moment in an outfit so horrific it’d make the @dieworkwear guy retire

0 0 0 191 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

This actually tracks cuz no women want to watch you.

JD Vance @JDVance

2 years ago

This Entourage reboot is going to be awesome

11K 7K 64K 14.5M 920

0 0 2 345 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Every Olympic diver should win gold for being able to jump off a 30 foot platform and then hear a judge say their splash was a little too big

0 0 0 177 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Tim Walz is gonna be the first VP to run on free school lunches, expanding background checks and a national thermostat minimum of 74 degrees.

1 0 3 243 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Yes, I will do anything to get the grocery checkout person to like me. I’m passing back the divider with haste, I’m running to get items the person in front of me forgot, I’m double bagging these myself and my card is OUT and READY!!!! *therapist jots down a longggggg note*

0 0 2 181 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Just a heads up that anyone can get an Olympic rings tattoo. They don’t even check if you actually accomplished anything

0 0 2 202 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

Everyday I give my dog treats like an Italian uncle handing out crisp fives at a birthday party, “…here’s a little something just fa you.”

0 0 0 158 0

View Details

Christine Cestaro @CCestaroo

2 years ago

*song comes on shuffle with a message I want to hear* divine intervention, a note from beyond, the universe at work *song comes on shuffle with the opposite message I want to hear* meaningless, immediate skip, what is shuffle anyway, frankly none of my business