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Tweets81K
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Followers16K
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Following1K
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Likes104K
Sometimes the side chick ain’t even a chick. It’s the legend of zelda: tears of the kingdom.
Every girl needs her 3 bevies and four shots or whatever
Yeah but do they name a horse after you in Zelda?
Popcorn for dinner :)
I don’t care that it’s the size of a bottle of wine!!! I just like when they cuddle afterwards!!!
You know who shares a birthday with weed? That’s right, Hitler. Say no to drugs kids.
there’s no sex i lied we’re gonna lay here and play our respective iPhone games in silence
in the cinema. straight up "Joaquin it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. My phoenix
OMFG DID TOM SCHWARTZ SEE MY TWEET
OMFG DID TOM SCHWARTZ SEE MY TWEET
The development of the prefrontal cortex of the frontal lobe allows us to process the pros and cons of a decision before it is made. The frontal lobe, especially the prefrontal cortex, isn’t mature until around age 25. It’s not infantilizing, it’s twentythreelizing.
The development of the prefrontal cortex of the frontal lobe allows us to process the pros and cons of a decision before it is made. The frontal lobe, especially the prefrontal cortex, isn’t mature until around age 25. It’s not infantilizing, it’s twentythreelizing.
It’s easy to overlook a man’s baggage when your frontal lobe is still at medium rare
It’s easy to overlook a man’s baggage when your frontal lobe is still at medium rare
Honeybee stings are basically kamikaze missions for them 😢
There are very small things that keep me going. Like just thought about how I’ll get to write notes for my kids lunch boxes someday. Cannot wait to put xoxo and doodle a bunch of hearts.
1984’s George Whore.. @EwdatsGROSS
135K Followers 2K Following unfortunately extremely online | senior creative, 2x cat mom, former emo kid & niche internet micro celebrity
Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad
56K Followers 2K Following When all else fails, all roads lead back to margaritaville. Cohost of @MinorBreakdown. the blue check is for ad rev, I hate Elon
Natalie @jbfan911
66K Followers 712 Following (in case my employer sees this) I love ethics and HIPAA | she/her
abby govindan @abbygov
179K Followers 1K Following mgmt: [email protected] personal:agovindan97@gmail | i reply to DMs on passes | #sagstrong
sloane (sîpihkopiyes.. @cottoncandaddy
128K Followers 1K Following writer, editor, marketing-er, sales-er◦ former editor at @funnyordie ◦ nehiyaw ◦ canadian ◦ any pronouns
Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji
139K Followers 1K Following I am incredibly online | King of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach | he/him | the hits https://t.co/13Ium8Yy25
jodie @jodieegrace
27K Followers 592 Following social media manager | notes enjoyer & ittsysk #1 fan ⎕
kelly @BoyYeetsWorld
31K Followers 2K Following I used to live in South Carolina but now I don’t | extremely successful and wealthy person
rachel @coochieflop
19K Followers 389 Following
JodieKelley @4U0o63V985511N
0 Followers 111 Following
Smash @Smashleeeeeeeee
890 Followers 450 Following I don’t give a shit about anything yet simultaneously have opinions about everything. Tulsa Native. Yoga instructor 🧘🏼♀️🏳️🌈
Jokoy @Jokoy135296
60 Followers 982 Following Backup page for chat follow my official account. @Jokoymedia@@@
IPTV PROVIDER @IPTV_6_Provider
20 Followers 158 Following I provide best UK USA subscription all over the world 🌎 provide live channels not buffering or rolling Everything is 🆗 Good work https://t.co/If3oGzzqpP
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Peter Beater @Meatbeater1989
551 Followers 5K Following Masturbating is a priority in life. I post no photos or videos that are not of me. 1MeatBeater
Bongas @MySpaceVictim
34 Followers 98 Following I write for music magazines and Ad agencies. if the USA is so great why they make a USB?
Sunita Bawa @sunitabawa1
226 Followers 4K Following
Piss Pisstofferson @pisspistoferson
157 Followers 1K Following
Raghava @rravi03
8 Followers 543 Following
CoraRuan @CoraRuan369
641 Followers 2K Following
Simone Rene'e @frenchifry
928 Followers 4K Following Old maid urban jungle farmer who nannys, moves, DJ's, dances, cooks, plants -RELENTLESS OPTIMIST & FEARLESS REALIST AGING BY THE NANOSECOND #FrenchItalianToast
Proq @NorthSideFire11
0 Followers 6K Following
Emma C’s Place of W.. @EmmaChandbra
131 Followers 817 Following The beautiful @Emmac_xxx1 this country’s greatest spunk magnet posted daily, worshipping the beauty that is Emma.
Seb Lin @SebLin10
480 Followers 3K Following
Warren B @warrenbwriting
311 Followers 856 Following Deputy editor @MySA. Previously @impactnews, @Dallas_Observer, @FortWorthWeekly.
Jane @Donewithsergi0
326 Followers 2K Following decent looking “Horrorshow is right friend, a real show of horror” “if you cant be just be arbitrary” need an abortion https://t.co/doQSJzpnhl
thirsty for dr pepper.. @lkajjdjjsjjhbbn
74 Followers 283 Following
Homens do brasil @boysdobrasil02
130 Followers 1K Following
Patrick Andrew @PatrickAnd93028
1 Followers 17 Following
Reba McEntire @RebaMcEnti87674
39 Followers 2K Following friendly and like to associate with new people at all time
Girlyssas @girlyssas
2 Followers 28 Following
Military Police @ninetyfivebravo
184 Followers 5K Following
GlasJ @jmgplus3
90 Followers 855 Following
annie @annie_rev
360 Followers 865 Following un poco de todo. leisure enthusiast. goin against the grain.
OnlyFearns @jamesfearnside
260 Followers 723 Following A gentleman of insouciance. Support your local cha chaan tang.
Shafeeq @Y2SHAF
205K Followers 204K Following travelling, drinking coffee, Real Madrid Business - DM
lu ʚ♡⃛ɞ @cozycapricorn
7K Followers 7K Following she/they/he 🏳️🌈 25 🎀 mdni, 18+ ONLY! #AuDHD ∞ 🧠 mutuals: @highluiza 🪴 just a girl/dude 🧚🏻♀️🫧 777 💫
nx2me @mrnextmusic
252 Followers 807 Following i am next 2 u (trying to be human, but actually just a dead musician in my own afterlife)
Andrew Galarza @TheNot_SoFunny
117 Followers 1K Following Aspiring Author ✨In A State of Perpetual Writers Block✨ Lover of 🍃 Leftist He/Him
Progressive Teacher. .. @PolyPsy_n_Prose
217 Followers 1K Following Father, teacher, husband, and writer. Writer at @CultureSlate. Tweets are my own. https://t.co/4Yjwg1dgSb
Last Cowboy of the Oi.. @TreyTellander
1K Followers 4K Following Florida Man. Goofball. Hydraulic Engineer. Got the nickname from lassoing a control valve handle.
michaela okland @MichaelaOkla
287K Followers 297 Following Just a Girl, girling out [email protected]
1984’s George Whore.. @EwdatsGROSS
135K Followers 2K Following unfortunately extremely online | senior creative, 2x cat mom, former emo kid & niche internet micro celebrity
Big Tucson Dad @BigTucsonDad
56K Followers 2K Following When all else fails, all roads lead back to margaritaville. Cohost of @MinorBreakdown. the blue check is for ad rev, I hate Elon
Natalie @jbfan911
66K Followers 712 Following (in case my employer sees this) I love ethics and HIPAA | she/her
abby govindan @abbygov
179K Followers 1K Following mgmt: [email protected] personal:agovindan97@gmail | i reply to DMs on passes | #sagstrong
sloane (sîpihkopiyes.. @cottoncandaddy
128K Followers 1K Following writer, editor, marketing-er, sales-er◦ former editor at @funnyordie ◦ nehiyaw ◦ canadian ◦ any pronouns
Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji
139K Followers 1K Following I am incredibly online | King of edible leaves, his majesty the spinach | he/him | the hits https://t.co/13Ium8Yy25
jodie @jodieegrace
27K Followers 592 Following social media manager | notes enjoyer & ittsysk #1 fan ⎕
kelly @BoyYeetsWorld
31K Followers 2K Following I used to live in South Carolina but now I don’t | extremely successful and wealthy person
rachel @coochieflop
19K Followers 389 Following
Kaya 🫶🏻🪩✨ @kyylien
9K Followers 2K Following “hold it further away so you get a better shot!” - Mariska Hargitay teaching me how to take a selfie
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Feminist Press @FeministPress
70K Followers 5K Following Creating a world where everyone recognizes themselves in a book.
OH ARABELLA @OHArabella1
152 Followers 82 Following girl next door that you wish would move already https://t.co/WRqbBZFKMx
Goldschmidt Happened @GoldyHappens
5K Followers 3K Following The best D-Backs twitter account in the league... • NEW Blog in link below (subscribe for free!) • 22’ @tgfbi League Winner • DILLY DILLY #GoldschmidtHappened
Saddington 3 (in prod.. @2Saddington
17K Followers 2K Following If you’re reading this, watch Paddington 2 • she/her •
gilbert @memetazaa
8K Followers 2K Following real guy | italian🇮🇹 | virgin | loser | bald | 5'8 | forbes worst 30 under 30 | i love my girlfriend
clay @flippabird2_
186 Followers 544 Following Director of Golf, PGA Golf Instructor…..and Retired Scumbag. Srixon/Cleveland/Nike Golf. Go Nats
wock landale @austinSixtyNine
793 Followers 588 Following drums | arizona sports | texas a&m sports stream 'Willie Nelson' ⬇️
kels @sharkedupdown
241 Followers 105 Following
Arizona Diamondbacks .. @DbacksStatsInfo
6K Followers 320 Following Reporting on news, notes, facts, statistics and team information for the Arizona Diamondbacks and their minor league affiliates.
Ayana Nuwer @yagirlana1
444 Followers 658 Following
Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse
136K Followers 3K Following •America’s Stepdad•@jortscenterpod•alt @wapplehouse•
post-hipster runoff a.. @rinnyriot
6K Followers 1K Following HTX-raised comedian/writer/visual artist/hot, 👩🏾❤💋👩🏾 & clinically depressed Book: ‘NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU’ Out NOW!
private @dentor96
28 Followers 28 Following
wyatt @babymakeitfart
7K Followers 1K Following theo nonbinary girlboss cuntmother engineer baby artist incredulous and brave
david potts @dpottzzz
769 Followers 785 Following lifelong oregon state beavers hater, former champion lawyer's league basketball player (3.5 points per game)
Coach Beans @CoachBeansTTU
4K Followers 930 Following bean/beans. Tweeting mostly about types of flightless birds I think I could take in a cage match.
spencer🦕 @spen______
9K Followers 771 Following Blue Jays/Raptors/TFC/@bluejaysb1tch stan account ❤️
Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood
55K Followers 458 Following leaving it all out on the field for Season 14 of Clue Heywood, just in case it's not renewed. [email protected]
Nico Stevens @Feliciajo94
500 Followers 411 Following mentally ill and sinister (She/Her) @fefeinprivate
Vincent Martella @vince_martella
248K Followers 2K Following Voice Actor/Actor. Phineas on Phineas and Ferb. Greg on Everybody Hates Chris. Patrick on The Walking Dead. Hope in Final Fantasy. He/Him
Amarillo Sod Poodles @sodpoodles
17K Followers 386 Following 2019 & 2023 Texas League Champions Double-A Affiliate of the @Dbacks
hannah @dumbandfunn
29K Followers 591 Following Sex and the City historian 🥰 nanny life + I have great taste, 18+
WhoHaha @whohahadotcom
12K Followers 3K Following We are here to support women in comedy every day! Join our community of comics, artists, performers and creators. Celebrate the Who behind the Haha.
you know what. he does have a few songs where he needs to be doin all that
him: u better not be atomspherically gagged fred again by skrillex doing muay thai in mexico when i get there me:
men used to build houses now they text you "hiiii"
Would divorce you then drown myself in the lake to create generational trauma for both of our families
What would u do in this situation
Makes me trust her that she simply cannot conceal her disgust here
Tired of pretending everything is alright…
Just looked up Wheatus on Wikipedia & holy shit
I would be very surprised since I'm 52 with two sons.
@AngelaLovesNY Don't be surprised if you're a virgin femcel at 26
remember when i fell in love and immediately moved to akron
Do you know how insane a conversation has to be to make Kamala seem like the normal one
a real screen cap from its always sunny in philadelphia - season 16 (2023)
Jerry Seinfeld says he wouldn’t be able to do many jokes from ‘SEINFELD’ in today’s world. “[One would be] Kramer decides to start a business of having homeless people pull rickshaws because, as he says, ‘They’re outside anyway.’ Do you think I could get that episode on the air…
Imagine how embarrassing this take would be if the other creator of Seinfeld had made one of the funniest shows of all-time that had no worry about offending people and ended this literal month.
Jerry Seinfeld says TV comedy is being hurt by "the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people." “It used to be, you would go home at the end of the day, most people would go, ‘Oh, “Cheers” is on. Oh, “MASH” is on. Oh, “Mary Tyler Moore”…
I could listen to my wife talk aimlessly for the rest of eternity, until the sun burns itself out, until the heavens fall from the sky, and not even notice a minute had passed
My wife’s stories are like Grateful Dead songs. I literally applaud when she gets back to the point.
It’s so awesome here
This Hannah Horvath ass tweet
Please stop posting about Challengers I’m celibate and I have a weirdly shaped body
i understand that my body can't digest corn or whatever. that's fine. my issue is that i fucking chewed it. how the hell is it coming out back in the shape of corn. what are they not telling us
“go piss girl” was an interesting meme in that i never found it particularly funny but it is still my instinctual reaction a good 70% of the time someone tells me they’re going to the bathroom
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