my life is a living hell. every minute is torture @on_da_spectrum
Nothing's gonna change my world Joined October 2019-
Tweets39K
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Followers21K
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Following1K
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Likes127K
I like Twitter because whenever I feel overwhelmed by the problems in my real life, I can go on my phone and pick between the options of posting things that make strangers mad at me, or viewing things that make me mad at strangers
“Nothing ever happens!!” What are you talking about? What a naive thing to say. Nothing *good* ever happens; bad shit happens every day with ever-increasing frequency and badness, and will continue to do so for the rest of our lives
Im leaving the computer and im never coming back
{scrolling the TL} @ daobservantfratboy: when the homie who doesn’t really do nicotine is holding the Zyn awkwardly tight with his lip <<<< me: Yessirrr haha! We definitely all got that one homie, that’s true. Let’s see another one {scrolls} @ into_the_foid: Nothing sadder…
David Lynch’s hair looks like that because he started using minoxidil in the 5th grade. But it’s also what gave him the most tw*sted, f*cked-up mind in American cinema, so. Buyer beware.
{Adam Sandler in Punch Drunk Love writing 100 times on a chalkboard like Bart Simpson} I’m sorry I beat up the bathroom at that restaurant. I’m sorry I beat up the bathroom at that restaurant. I’m sorry I beat up the bathroom at that restaurant.
Just finished my daily workout (Phonecall with boyfriend), 5 sets giggling + kicking feet around for 20 reps, 2 sets rolling around in bed as he talks to me for 10 reps, 10 sets saying I love you i just love you so much, Smiling til failure
To be completely honestly man only 2 out of 10 dentists recommended this toothpaste but they both have quite esoteric taste and are always early on things that later become cult classics
crazy how they’ve yet to invent a better drug than two beers, drank outside
he was probably thinking mmmmi love kissing girls, sosexy smell good mmmm
walking up to the counter at chipotle to order a second burrito when I can already feel the diarrhea from the first brewing inside me
(texting my mortal friend) the prospect of death is straight up giving my life meaning rn (texting my immortal friend) please please please please tell me you can tell me please tell me please please please
running on the beach next to a brown paper bag shaped suspiciously like a Jack Russel Terrier
me, taking huge rips of shoe polish remover in public: snrfff coughcoughcough uohhh twink walking by: omg yes hunny we love poppers! happy Pride bitchh! me, taking another lethal dose of inhalants and looking around confusedly: whhat th hell did that little girl just say to me
{me as a 6 y/o} Being an adult is gonna be so awesome! I’ll drink alcohol and travel, and I’ll have a girlfriend and a job, and I’ll read cool books and watch movies, and {cut to me as a 26 y/o, in a job interview} Hobbies? I mostly like going to the store and looking at things
What is everybody’s favorite history podcast? I have a long drive tomorrow and am looking to educate myself a little instead of just getting mad at all the other drivers on the road
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"The Argument" 5"x5", oil on panel in found frame
You think you know Gertrude Stein or maybe you know that you do not know Gertrude Stein and you have or have not read her in a long time although you might be in the mood to read Gertrude Stein now or later today or tomorrow it is that difficult to know. sackett.net/SteinMasterpie…
The diet coke
The oysters. The diet coke. The way he drinks so it don't spill. That me right there
Thanks to technology we are in a golden age of storm chasing, probably. Haven't looked into it
Incredible tornado intercept just now north of Lincoln Nebraska!! @ryanhallyall @SevereStudios
I'm foaming at the mouth this is stuff the Years of Lead were made from
Happening now. @ASU and the police are using frat boys to destroy the camp at Old Main. This is insane. #Occupy4Gaza
@xenogothic Pretty sure, (sadly) Doran’s is not there anymore (Molesworth Street)
@Fergalmc @xenogothic Time is, time was, but time shall be no more.
I picked up a second-hand copy of Ulysses recently, with an inscription that's kinda broken my heart. I wish it was still with the original owner.
(booing loudly at a basketball game) i bet the players are so scared
before and after popping a 6mg wintergreen zyn
@on_da_spectrum man my boss really pissed me off in that meeting, lets see what’s going on on twitter…oh cOME THE FUCK ON MAN *gun cocking noise*
@on_da_spectrum But also haha it silly :)
My dad is going to see the magnetic fields
@on_da_spectrum Sometimes I get so stressed I just wanna feel total rage and never satisfy it. That’s Twitter baby!
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