Jody Reale Total Landscaping @jodyreale
Nonzero sum game player. Belletrist. Fluent in Movie Quotes and Sarcasm. 25 pieces of flair. Doesn’t negotiate with terrorists. Me/mine. Hawaii Joined April 2008-
Tweets5K
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Following2K
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Likes971
Why aren’t you supposed to talk when having your blood pressure taken? Do you want me to unload my murderous thoughts before medical testing or don’t you?
Forget the confidence of a mediocre white man. O, God, grant me the confidence of JLo.
It’s gotta be a tough time for ER docs performing the assessment that includes the question, “Who’s the president?”
Does Clark Kent take off his glasses or leave them on to use Face ID, and if so, does he have to use it in a phone booth? Technology has gotta be rough on superheroes.
Maybe x doesn’t want to be solved for. Maybe it just wants to figure things out for itself.
It gives me a disproportionate amount of glee to hear my headphones say, “Now connected to…your mom.”
The main reason I’ve always wanted to learn piano is because it’s one of the few instruments you can play while a little dog sits on your lap.
Today, in Practical Logic: when you take the center of 3 bathroom stalls, you’re going to end up with a next door neighbor. Sure, it’s not the sophisticated Monty Hall problem, but there’s a lot to relearn after a few years of WFH.
I just want a man who looks at me the way Mark Cuban looks at some of the presenters on Shark Tank.
If the the pew of wives and mistresses from the funeral episode of Succession didn’t look like a coven to you, you’re witch settings are off.
Pro tip for agnostics/atheists resorting to prayer: Close your eyes or bow your head and clearly enunciate “Representative” a few times.
If you aren't starting your days looking in the mirror and yelling, "You can sleep when you're dead, crybaby!" how do you even wake up in the morning?
Tell me what sign you are without telling me what sign you are: Capricorn is an Aries, but without the charisma and sex appeal.
Marriage tip: there’s no better way to make your spouse interested in what you just said than to pretend you were just muttering to yourself.
Someone funnier than I am: please write a joke that involves Nancy Salzman and Dr. Sally Smith walking into a bar.
I usually play my cards much closer to the vest, but get ready for the Ann(e) uprising, Maries.
I usually play my cards much closer to the vest, but get ready for the Ann(e) uprising, Maries.
Things I was doing when my husband desperately needed to know what I was doing, part 1: getting up from a chair; crossing and uncrossing my legs; sighing; sitting quietly in a room; plugging in my phone; looking out the window; shopping for something online…
Arthur Brock @artbrock
24K Followers 274 Following Culture hacker, crypto platform designer, alt.currency geek, alt.ed transformer, building tools for the next economy (post-monetary commons). Try @Holochain
HoneyAdolph @11OKfL1CZR23C
0 Followers 111 Following
Contact Regina landsc.. @GreenscaperP
10 Followers 121 Following A landscaping service company in Regina. Provides commercial landscaping and residential landscape services. Landscape design and construction.
Alma @kanahar48136096
3 Followers 769 Following
LunaLuxe_ @LunaLuxe289208
8 Followers 274 Following
Doutaez @doutaez2474
165 Followers 3K Following I'm new to Twitter accounts so I tried the messaging feature and it's great to meet you.
Pavel Krutakov @PKrutakov
425 Followers 3K Following Partnerships @ https://t.co/PYzxUKZAff Louvered Pergolas //+// Construction 3D Printers Sales &Leasing +INK | founder @ShibZoids_NFT old personal acc @ShibZoids
Theseh @Theseh21212
12 Followers 1K Following
Sophia_Johns @sophia_joh10783
23 Followers 2K Following
Shavon Siroky @ShavSiro
21 Followers 5K Following
Romelia Pirollo @RPirol
37 Followers 5K Following
Romona Rockholt @RockholRom
50 Followers 5K Following
Nicole @nicole10sabin
182 Followers 3K Following
Esmeralda Ledley @esmeral_led
69 Followers 5K Following
Joanna Mckee @joanna_mck6492
60 Followers 5K Following
Daisy-mae Severe @daisy_seve
64 Followers 5K Following
Gotip Nehemiah Wokji .. @GotipWokji
137 Followers 1K Following Educator Edunomics Edumotivator Economotivator Let my quotes inspire you to be great.
Sharlene @human_sharlene
201 Followers 3K Following
Ossie Madaras @oss_madar
62 Followers 5K Following
Aurelia Tello @TelloAure
80 Followers 5K Following
Marianela Gou @MarianelaG58421
62 Followers 5K Following
Rafaela Leatherman @RafaelaLea83747
87 Followers 5K Following
Beverlycompanies @Beverlycomps
239 Followers 3K Following Chicago's premiere outdoor property professionals since 1999, specializing in landscaping, snow removal, paving, top soil, & more!
Molly @vieira_molly
485 Followers 3K Following
John @John04952515955
76 Followers 612 Following Orthopedic Surgeon Doctor (MD) Specializing: Bones&joints 🩺🇸🇾 We Treat God heals 🙏
Drea1019🌻 @Drea10192
238 Followers 713 Following 💙 dot in ☀️🌵AZ trauma therapist & girl mom- I love travel, photography & all Chicago sports
Joe @joenahnah
7K Followers 8K Following Husband and Dad working from home, sharing funny stories and little pops of sunshine. Writer, baker, learner, laugher.
The Hype Digital Agen.. @TheHypeDig
221 Followers 2K Following The Hype Digital is a growing digital marketing agency for startups that follows industry-specific latest digital strategies to grow your business.
Emaye James (Digijame.. @emaye_james
378 Followers 3K Following Digital marketer, Brand and Books promoter, Email marketing expert, Social media manager, and Graphics designer.
Thomas @Thomas941231415
507 Followers 1K Following The only thing i will ever force in my life is my jeans over my Ass not friendship, not relationship not even family..
Debroah Rockliffe @DebroaRockliffe
11 Followers 453 Following
R8X Digital @R8Xdigital
22 Followers 160 Following I help Landscapers add 100k+ in revenue in 6-12months using digital assets ⬇️
Zoe Karlito @KarlitoZoe
3 Followers 77 Following
DD Landscaping & Prop.. @DDLANDSCAPING1
101 Followers 469 Following
Dark Comedy @DarkComedy
38K Followers 38K Following Sketch comedy writer (sometimes w/ @Sketchworks). Joke writer for comedians & video producers. @ me for opportunities. Into funny #sketchcomedy #comedywriting
Nickolas @NickolasFruin
58 Followers 1K Following
Rebel Gardener @RealStacyTaylor
2K Followers 4K Following A humble hominid. DogMom MotorcycleMama #TransRightsAreHumanRights #HousingForAll #FoodSecurityIsAHumanRight #StandWithUkraine
ennui @doubletheennui
601 Followers 3K Following *sigh* / Peace 🕊️/ Women’s rights are human rights / Favorite aunt / JD / Psych RN / Is that a sweater attached to a shirt?
Jaimey Perham @jaimeyperham
1K Followers 5K Following Jaimey Perham Entertainment Studios (JPES) Films, Videos, Writings, Media: Current Film: https://t.co/38WBi0nPfJ (2 Versions Streaming Free on YouTube,Vimeo)
He's Back And He's Sc.. @SchmuckOnAHorse
7K Followers 5K Following Mild-mannered CPA by day, miserable curmudgeon by night. Followed by @mrsdash.
MrsWhatsIt@Rainbird42.. @Rainbird42true
3K Followers 5K Following “Stay angry, little Meg,” Mrs Whatsit whispered. “You will need all your anger now.” WIT @[email protected] @rainbird42true on https://t.co/mbJ97fZrKx and spo
MitchellSzczepanczyk @msszczep
1K Followers 5K Following Software engineer (Clojure, Elm, Python), podcast (PEP Talk), newsletter on politics of media (Chicago Media Action), trivia and puzzle fan, mówie po polsku.
Matt Bell @mdbell79
35K Followers 3K Following Writer, teacher. Out now: APPLESEED, a novel (2021, @marinerbooks). REFUSE TO BE DONE, a guide to novel revision (2022, @soho_press). He/him.
Arthur Brock @artbrock
24K Followers 274 Following Culture hacker, crypto platform designer, alt.currency geek, alt.ed transformer, building tools for the next economy (post-monetary commons). Try @Holochain
Vikas Reddy @vikasreddy
6K Followers 6K Following Co-Founder/CEO of https://t.co/ZD5J1mjZVh . Co-Founded @Occipital and RedLaser (acquired by eBay). I belong to the church of St. Dolly Parton and Larry David.
Amber Sparks @ambernoelle
59K Followers 3K Following Your garbage mom; wrote AND I DO NOT FORGIVE YOU; HAPPY PEOPLE DON’T LIVE HERE ‘25; rep’d by @KentDWolf; I just want you to be happy, honey
Mitchell Byars @mitchellbyars
41K Followers 17K Following Deputy city editor @dailycamera; #CUBoulder grad; Hawaii native surviving in a landlocked state with the help of beer, golf and snuggies. #ScannerFTW
Kim @kim
215K Followers 135K Following Producer and founder interested in art, design, fashion, music, tv + films. #VoteBlue
Aileen Weintraub @AileenWeintraub
8K Followers 5K Following KNOCKED DOWN: A High-Risk Memoir, WE GOT GAME! 35 Female Athletes Who Changed the World. Kvetcher. Wanderer.
Lottie-pop 🍭 @Lottie_Poppie
28K Followers 3K Following Tattooed mum & coffee enthusiast. Living life from one snack to the next.
The Tortured Steve De.. @IGoBySteve
2K Followers 1K Following Dad to 2 very different boys, architect, marathon runner, food enthusiast. Sarcasm is my love language. he/him
Mark Lewis @marklewismd
88K Followers 39K Following Director, GI Oncology, @Intermountain. Interests: neuroendocrine tumors, cancer syndromes, empathy (even had a Whipple myself). Tweets my own.
Natasha Carter @NatashaCL7
172K Followers 54K Following #Indie #Author of #romance and #suspense novels. 2nd book released 11/24/23, many more to follow! DMs for book stuff only. 🌈Ally.🪬#writingcommunity
Mike Cardona | Automa.. @CSMikeCardona
9K Followers 2K Following Content creation is the new 9 - 5. I'll show you how to quit. Get practical and actionable AI/Automation tips. Helped clients save $1M+. $10M+ career sales.
Rob Lennon 🗯 | AI .. @thatroblennon
125K Followers 1K Following 17+ years in startups. AI speaker. 47x published author. Teaching you AI and business frameworks. Get $1500 in courses for $175 → https://t.co/xaU7UVJBph
Rachel Woods @rachel_l_woods
21K Followers 1K Following Ex-Facebook Research Data Scientist. Pushing the envelope of operating businesses with AI (AI Operations). #AIOps
Terri Paella Piñata @terrip38
2K Followers 2K Following Rated PG for action/peril and mild rude humor. 🤪
Cillian @CilComLFC
48K Followers 8K Following
Melissa Mackenzie @MelissaTweets
55K Followers 7K Following Work with legends @AmSpectator. Email at [email protected]. #God #Family #Country #ProLife #Israel #Autism #AplasticAnemia #GivePlatelets #BeTheMatch
juliAn @oigevalt
2K Followers 999 Following health tech dev, writer, former academic, very short. she/they/hey dipshit
UnHerd @unherd
129K Followers 142 Following Challenging the herd with new and bold thinking in philosophy, politics and culture. Subscribe here: https://t.co/7nvLVCKwZG
Pratham @Prathkum
425K Followers 897 Following I work to place you in the top 1% of web developers • Building https://t.co/TzoPPvXkeN & https://t.co/vTZdsutbrT • DevRel • Prev @Rapid_API @HyperspaceAI
Deanna (Baudi Moovan) @deanna_thompson
4K Followers 2K Following Still that bitch. •https://t.co/PVkVGNe30F •baudi.eth •[email protected]
Simon Holland @simoncholland
171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
Bubba Throckmorton IV @BubsterT4
205 Followers 140 Following Just trying to figure it all out. Term Limits FFS. https://t.co/bCIqSAoKy3
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Joe @joenahnah
7K Followers 8K Following Husband and Dad working from home, sharing funny stories and little pops of sunshine. Writer, baker, learner, laugher.
Drea1019🌻 @Drea10192
238 Followers 713 Following 💙 dot in ☀️🌵AZ trauma therapist & girl mom- I love travel, photography & all Chicago sports
chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/her
kenzi @kenzianidiot
62K Followers 4K Following follow me for my dads weekly agendas! im also medium funny and have a very cute dog. | marketing at @dropout | she/her
Lilith Starr @LilithStarr
11K Followers 344 Following TST Washington Spokesperson & Founder. Minister of Satan. Wrote "The Happy Satanist" & "Compassionate Satanism." Won TST's Literary Excellence Award. She/Her.
Satanic Planet @satanicplanet
6K Followers 98 Following Dark musical soundscape collaboration featuring Luke Henshaw, Justin Pearson, Lucien Greaves, and Dave Lombardo
cait.bsky.social @punished_cait
44K Followers 905 Following like if barbie smoked weed. i work in the boneyard. yes, that's me in the picture. she/her
Aphrodite @Fertility_bitch
351 Followers 121 Following this is a parody account. priv is @slugmynuts go check it out
Hera 🦚✨ @heraqueenofgod
2K Followers 442 Following Queen of the Gods • Goddess of Marriage, Women, Family & Childbirth
God @angels_pimp
194K Followers 199 Following In Me We Trust | Parody God Account | Please don’t take my Tweets too seriously. | https://t.co/4nYT24i07H |
Ben Hunt @EpsilonTheory
167K Followers 2K Following Hope has two beautiful daughters - Anger and Courage. Anger at the way things are, and Courage to see that they do not remain as they are. - St. Augustine
The Dad @thedad
142K Followers 591 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
RebootHQ @RebootHQ
7K Followers 1K Following Work doesn’t have to destroy us. Work can be the way we achieve our fullest selves. Subscribe to the Reboot podcast: https://t.co/O3xWYvi3rZ
Dark Comedy @DarkComedy
38K Followers 38K Following Sketch comedy writer (sometimes w/ @Sketchworks). Joke writer for comedians & video producers. @ me for opportunities. Into funny #sketchcomedy #comedywriting
Amy Schumer @amyschumer
4.2M Followers 2K Following 2022 tour dates on sale now! Get tickets here: https://t.co/7eyPdjXFYK
Northeastern COE @NortheasternCOE
3K Followers 362 Following @Northeastern University's College of Engineering #NUCOE
Northeastern CSSH @NUCSSH
3K Followers 612 Following Northeastern University's College of Social Sciences and Humanities (CSSH)
Northeastern Hockey B.. @NUHockeyBlog
3K Followers 186 Following Unaffiliated fan blog of Northeastern alums bringing news, insight, our own opinions, & reactions about the Northeastern Men's Hockey program.
Northeastern Men’s .. @GoNUmhockey
18K Followers 470 Following The official account of Northeastern men's ice hockey. @Hockey_East Champions '88, '16, '19 | 2021-22 Regular Season Champs. #HowlinHuskies
Northeastern Women’.. @GoNUwhockey
8K Followers 437 Following The official account of the Northeastern women's ice hockey team. Six Hockey East Championships | 19 Beanpot Titles | Three Frozen Fours
Northeastern Huskies @GoNUathletics
16K Followers 401 Following The official account of Northeastern Athletics — a proud member of the CAA, Hockey East and the Eastern Association of Rowing Colleges. #HowlinHuskies
The Boston Globe @BostonGlobe
797K Followers 972 Following New England's leading source for breaking news and analysis.
Northeastern Men’s .. @GoNUmbasketball
7K Followers 310 Following The official account of the Northeastern men's basketball team | 4 CAA RS titles (2012-13, '14-15, '17-18, '20-21) | 9 NCAA tournament appearances
Northeastern Universi.. @NortheasternLib
4K Followers 464 Following The intellectual heart of Northeastern and beyond. Explore our workshops and events: https://t.co/QqyITALugn Instagram: @northeasternlib.
Northeastern D’Amor.. @NU_Business
6K Followers 285 Following The official Twitter feed of @Northeastern University D'Amore-McKim School of Business. Share with us: #damoremckim
I don't want to sound harsh, but there should be a special prison atop a steep mountain, surrounded by a moat and packs of hungry wolves, just for people who back into parking spots.
Jessie’s Girl was released 43 years ago so if she’s still watching him with those eyes, she’s got readers on. I just know it.
Rereading JESUS’ SON again—because I always am—and marveling again at the incredible efficiency of this opening. A single paragraph of setup to establish the ground situation, then a “but” to break it. I’d spend three pages doing this work, and to lesser effect.
Shots fired by Jeopardy, writers! My wife said, “But, you’ve gotten a lot of stories accepted from the sad accumulation of unsolicited manuscripts!”
@kenzianidiot I don’t know how to tell you this but your dad is an amateur comedian and this is his writing group
@kenzianidiot This is far too much to fit into an evening. I hope to God no one's late.
a lady at the store asked if i've watched Sound Of Freedom, she said it's about child abuse and it's really sad and I said "Oh, is it about the Catholic church?"
Nothing happened. We're still asking them to do it every fucking day. That's parenting, bro. Sucks, but that's the gig.
the inventor of clutch purses pitching them like "no there's no strap. lmao i know. yeah ur just gonna have to grip it all night. idk haha”
middle names are so funny. it’s like ok what if we gave this baby a second worse name that’s a little bit of a secret ?? and it kind of has to be marie
Just to expound a bit ladies, mansplaining is a portmanteau of man and explaining.
i'm writing, it's horrible, why do we do this
@UteFanIvan plz don’t try to Brené Brown me rn im at work and doing my best
@mitchellbyars @VoodooDoughnut @DallasHeltzell more like … Voodon’t
"I need to talk to you" is a sentence that can make you remember every bad thing you have done in your life in a split fucking second.
When there was only one set of handprints in the sand, that was Jesus holding me up so I could do a keg stand
Watched Fatal Attraction last night for the first time in nearly 30 years & just love that Glenn Close's character is a New York book editor.
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