🦝 uooɔɔɐᴚ ˙∀ @_eat_pray_lift_
Butterface | Bacon Enthusiast | 40-something | Mom | Online Personal Trainer | NOW OFFERING CUSTOM MEAL PLANS & TRAINING PROGRAMS Starbucks Joined February 2017-
Tweets27K
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Followers3K
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Following1K
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Likes111K
I can’t keep up with all those replies. 😬 Grateful for all the support. 🙏❤️😘
What type of produce are we offended by today?
What does one wear to go sign divorce papers?
I love @CallMeK1123, that is all. 😍
I'm a hard 72. Don't touch my thermostat.
Warm apple pie?
What’s all this banana business on the timeline today? Do I want to know?
I can has pie? 🥹👉👈
🥹❤️
Not today Satan
Memory unlocked
Bitches love Pokémon Masters.
Today I saw a window sticker on the car in front of me that read, “I hope something good happens to you today.” More of this in the world, please.
I bought one yesterday. Because you can’t wear flannels to interviews. 😁
I bought one yesterday. Because you can’t wear flannels to interviews. 😁 https://t.co/plqgJSaJ35
Jon 🔬 @JonnyMicro
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651 Followers 730 Following Proud Cajun (despite the surname) Catholic, prouder Father and Grandfather. Unexpectedly, @flinnie fell for me. #TeamIronWill𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐠 🏳.. @HarmfulOpinion
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247K Followers 146K Following @UofNorthDakota Alum | IG: @harrisonkrank | Sometimes I say funny things.| Politics and Sports | RT ≠ endorsement | Opinions are my own.Texas Courtney @AlaskanCourtney
24K Followers 12K Following Chronically fabulous. God girl. Handmaiden of the patriarchy. Wavy haired queen of leggings. Professional badass. Commies suck. אני בעד ישראל. #TeamIronWillMeara @MillennialOther
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758 Followers 2K FollowingFrankcj @frankalpha11
308 Followers 1K Followingqüen 🌹🌽 🇵�.. @qwertyquen31
770 Followers 2K Following the most progressive twink you’ll ever meet 🤝💛 #LegalizeCannabis #NotMeUs 🏳️🌈 - Minors DNIRusty Gibson @RustyGibsonfx
1K Followers 1K FollowingTim @timtanyamitchel
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488 Followers 2K Following Right is always right. Architecture and art. On my Yacht most of the time.SirMeeTeeze 🟦 @MeeTeeze
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11 Followers 43 Following does ur life suck cuz everything is gey + women give u NO sax even tho u cool? U can thank the 🌈✡️👶🧛 4 dat. Become a VAEWOLF VROTHER & fight back with us!Peter @belval_peter
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146K Followers 6K Following courage, dear heart. social @theblaze #gigemJon 🔬 @JonnyMicro
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192K Followers 16K Following 2x NYT Bestselling Author; "You Will Own Nothing" Out Now; Recovering i-banker; Advocate for Big Hair + Small Biz; Biz Consigliere; Play Myself on TVSnarky Tea Smuggler @SullyBobbi
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51K Followers 2K Following Mostly harmless "anonymous conservative humor account"just a nurse @hib343434
18K Followers 793 Followinglaura @fancythis
34K Followers 2K Following 🏴 ‘cause your dollar ain’t shit and it’s taxed to no end ‘cause of rich men north of richmond 🏴BrownSkin @BrunusCutis
7K Followers 2K Following I only like me..., you should too - just do it! Pronouns: Homie / Bro / PalCFMatzke @CfMatzke
651 Followers 730 Following Proud Cajun (despite the surname) Catholic, prouder Father and Grandfather. Unexpectedly, @flinnie fell for me. #TeamIronWill𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐠 🏳.. @HarmfulOpinion
65K Followers 996 Following Respiratory Care Practitioner. Board certified neonatal and pediatric specialist. Father. Husband. A salty combat veteran and a “very okay dude.”Harrison Krank @HarrisonKrank
247K Followers 146K Following @UofNorthDakota Alum | IG: @harrisonkrank | Sometimes I say funny things.| Politics and Sports | RT ≠ endorsement | Opinions are my own.Texas Courtney @AlaskanCourtney
24K Followers 12K Following Chronically fabulous. God girl. Handmaiden of the patriarchy. Wavy haired queen of leggings. Professional badass. Commies suck. אני בעד ישראל. #TeamIronWillMeara @MillennialOther
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63 Followers 43 FollowingArnold Becker 🇺�.. @bruinoregonalt
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151 Followers 1K Following Former Emperor of a Creek of Geese. The once and grandest or the plebians. banned_plebians. Buc-ee's supremacy believer. church of the Texas BeaverMetal Woman Warrior @NightmareGoth44
352 Followers 179 Following No Pain No Gain, Tough Edgelord Badass Rebel Woman who Turns Pain into Power. Fitness Maniac. Sworn Metalhead. Die Hard Gamer. BDSM Masochist. Introvert. Goth.💯Dave L💯 @Cycledave_1
371 Followers 589 FollowingPeaches > Pears and it isn’t even close. Anyone who says otherwise should not be allowed to eat ANY fruit!
We've made it to Brazil
@_eat_pray_lift_ @NoStrings_on_Me I'm not saying this to discourage you, but people often overstate how "amazing" the final step was/is for them.
@_eat_pray_lift_ @NoStrings_on_Me My old assistant, whom I really appreciated, was going through a divorce. We would often talk positively about her new life. I remember the day she signed the papers. She came back to the office and bawled her eyes out.
I've had my wife text me from the other side of the couch to tell me she was mad at me
What kind of an employee sends you an email from the other side of the building to give you their two weeks notice instead of coming to your office & talking to you like a real man? An absolute COWARD.
I think it's fair that everytime you rub one out to one of my photos I get a free coffee out of the deal
@_eat_pray_lift_ cocktail dress for the party afterward.