Donny Townsend @SardineJeans
tiny carnival rides Joined November 2012-
Tweets2K
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Followers737
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Following513
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Likes7K
playing a xylophone us like tickling an old friend
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Id trust magicians a lot more if they did card tricks with their feet instead of their hands
why would they put onions in those sexy fishnets if they didn't want you to get horny
Listen, if im gonna get ringworm it's gonna be my own. It's not gonna to be from anyone else
there's something euphoric about eating a shrimp cocktail in a sunny window
you don't always know that you have become old until one day you look in the mirror and see that you're wearing your pants are pulled up past your belly button
if i wanted to hear what you think i would just ask the tv
that gandhi fella was a little too bollywood for my liking
iced tea smells a little bit like hamster cage and its a refreshing summertime beverage, try it with a squeeze of lemon
i like to give my meatloaf a little ketchup bath
maybe the shape of the earth is whatever the shape of your head is
a tiki bar called the coconut brassiere sounds like a pretty good time
when it comes to first ladies i can only name 2 of them barbra bush and linda carter and i only remember her cause she played in the original super lady movie
Wigs and mannequin heads fit together like shrimps in a martini glass
Check out the documentary my friend made
Check out the documentary my friend made
doing comedy in a bowling alley is about as chinese new years as it gets
i bet no ones ever pooped the front of their pants
for the record if someone says "well thats an attractive puppet" it doesn't mean theyre attracted to the puppet maybe theyre just admiring the puppets beauty
stu @rinbcage
4K Followers 625 Following This account doesn't exist. Try searching for another. | dreams: @dream_stu | he/him
A.J. Grill @Grill_You
614 Followers 641 Following In the forest by day | Telling jokes by night | Eating soup in-between
Patrick Hastie: Watch.. @PatrickHastie
3K Followers 1K Following Comedian. Buy My Album on Bandcamp and watch my special on youtube!
A LIST OF WET CELEBRI.. @MrZachPeterson
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Wendy's Martin Luther.. @DantePowell
2K Followers 2K Following Buy My Stand Up Comedy Album 'The Squirrels Get Fat' wherever you buy albums!
Michael Meyers @MeMichaelMeyers
1K Followers 815 Following Stand up comedian in Chicago. I have a special linked below called, Michael Meyers Performs Comedy for Real People
Matthew Jacobsen @cbmatt8
449 Followers 384 Following Has award winning jokes my mother hates. Not Caillou.
Brandon Ream @Reamkore
4K Followers 3K Following He/Him I Dumb Jokes with typos | Co-host of The Nostalgic Front Podcast.
Jamie “hubie hallow.. @AJamieCarbone
2K Followers 626 Following don’t explain the Seinfeld tweet to me. BLM, They/them
jason melton, my dude @cooljasonmelton
993 Followers 383 Following yeah I can fight the hulk and win //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// other twitters: @cmj69420 @JasonMelton_
Ryan Mason @qdobagoodingjr
1K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Bucks fan. Opinions are my own. Insta: ryanmason18
Bill Gevirtz @Bill_Gevirtz
2K Followers 5K Following
NYTIMES BEST SMELLING.. @TallentSam
12K Followers 249 Following Listen to Chubby Behemoth: https://t.co/nHqeEtlJru BUY MY BOOK: https://t.co/PdYhrzq3zY [email protected]
Kaja Durling @DurlKa
37 Followers 5K Following
Florence 🍌 @Florence_C1455
0 Followers 232 Following Sultrу sеductrеss yеаrning fоr ехhilаrаting еscаpаdеs
Emma Joyce @Melinda03096311
761 Followers 2K Following simple lovely and calm …. I’d believe in karma so what you do in life determines what’s gonn happen to you tomorrow
Quad Shitties @quadshitties
16 Followers 72 Following Rock Island, Davenport, Moline, E Moline, & Bettendorf #QuadShitties Voted #1 by LocalsLoveUs 💚 Official Krakoan Gate to the Midwest 🔴🌿 Buy shirts at link!
Jessica wilkerson @Jessicawil8700
94 Followers 5K Following Make sure you are cool to yourself , even if you’re not good
Sylvia @sylvia_richie_
110 Followers 3K Following
J. Nathaniel Lee @JNathanielLee
15 Followers 76 Following Husband & Father, Author & Creator, Podcaster & Freelancer —my top 3 ❤'s in that order.
Carter Pritchard @Fizzzy_gg
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alex🦉 @alexdmass9
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Braiden @BIGodsey
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Jacob P @JacobP20358
26 Followers 93 Following I'm a stand up comedian trying to make people giggle. 36 y.o. Husband, Father of 2 kids.
ck :: @craig_kingston
3K Followers 3K Following LFC fan af 🎶 Music ♥️🎵 Travel 🌏 LFC ⚽️ Redsox ⚾️ StKildaFC 🏉 YNWA 🏁F1 🟠 NbT ♉️
Tammy Bueley @Tammyb231
5 Followers 234 Following I am new here looking for new friends .you can hit me up on my Google chat @ [email protected] ,if you are interested in me .
Mad Talent Agency @MadTalent
2K Followers 2K Following We subscribe to the idea that LAUGHTER is the BEST medicine! ■ A Talent Agency SOLELY devoted to Comedy & Comedians
Collin Strajack @collinstrajack
779 Followers 355 Following Stand-up comedian, used car owner. Host of @mdoverthinker podcast.
Tommy Reins @makeitreins
203 Followers 1K Following Managing Director https://t.co/59u2VClZcH // Formerly @Microsoft @Seagate @IowaStateU
COCO WANG @COCOWAN52325986
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Intern @ActualyAnIntern
291 Followers 327 Following Eau Claire's most sober open mic comedian and David Arquette has me blocked on Twitter
Lorelei Atticus @LoreleiAtticus
54 Followers 454 Following Another remote tech worker far down the web3 rabbithole
M͜͡&͜͡M͜͡ @TheSoulShadow
23K Followers 15K Following 🇺🇸🇮🇹🇱🇧/G\. 45. Dad. 🇺🇸Veteran. Capricorn. ISTJ. MDD. PTSD .Espresso, Cigars, and Scotch #YNWA #GoGators "Words woven into art, poetry writer's heart"-MM
ℌ𝔞𝔲𝔫𝔱�.. @HauntedDolly
2K Followers 991 Following 💌 celtic with iberian heritage (writer/poet) word faery ~ mother ~ empath ~ whimsical witch ...𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 🥀
Chris Fairbanks @chrisfairbanks
27K Followers 2K Following “Rescue Cactus” on Amazon. Podcast: Do You Need a Ride? @dynarpodcast The Rescue Cactus Album, is streaming exclusively on Pandoramusic right now!
The Laughing Tap @TheLaughingTap
507 Followers 205 Following Milwaukee’s Home for Comedy! Presenting weekly live comedy, with a full bar, featuring Wisconsin craft beer + spirits! Independently owned + operated! Est. 2020
April Elizabeth @aprilelizabethv
96 Followers 670 Following
Patricia @needsanamegeez
321 Followers 322 Following Writes stuff and chases meatballs across the floor. Liked robots before it was cool. Me? I don't know, she's over there.
allan Perdue aka FAFO @allanPerdue4
124 Followers 248 Following Gay Conservative(there are millions of us) Proud Veteran and Patriot Standing up for Truth and Freedom 🇺🇸
KliK TV 702 @KlikTV702
652 Followers 4K Following Klik TV is a #comedy skit show series for matrue audience. KliK. Watch. Laugh. follow us on TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube @kliktv702 https://t.co/wCw1J24qgg
ᒍᗩᑎᑎY ᕼOᒪ.. @JannyHoliday
8K Followers 7K Following Dope fresh tweet jockey ~ 😎 ~ whatever/medicated
patrick richardson @patrickpiss
223 Followers 221 Following stand up comedian and videographer/editor for chubby behemoth podcast
Kristin Lytie-New Alb.. @KristinLytie
2K Followers 551 Following comic. union organizer. want to talk about unionizing your workplace? dm me! host of @bloodymarypod a podcast about your favorite horror movies she/her
Jeremy Hellwig @JeremyHellwig
743 Followers 653 Following Sorry, Please Continue podcast. Fatal Bus Accident. Stand-up. Other stuff. He/him.
Spacey @muthafnstargrl
668 Followers 401 Following 'Nihilism stands at the door. Whence comes this uncanniest of all guests?' Nietzsche
Comedy Cabin @ComedyCabinwi
81 Followers 81 Following Comedy Club in Janesville WI. [email protected]
ChadwickFundlebutter .. @Fundlebutter
823 Followers 3K Following Film Minor Haver & Political Scientist according to FSU; so unemployed. Writing a cook book: What JFK would’ve been cooking had time travelers not killed him
The Anxious Cat 𓃠 @iPhonePhobic
2K Followers 5K Following A terrible supercat who graduated from "Foot in Mouth" University with high marks.. Let me have a smoke and come back to you on this.
My Views Are My Own p.. @myviews_podcast
11K Followers 9K Following Culture. Comedy. Adventure. My Views Are My Own podcast. Available wherever you listen to podcasts Instagram: myviewsaremyown_podcast
spooky spaghellington @IanWalkerSmith
23 Followers 30 Following
Teehee's Comedy Club @Teeheesdsm
126 Followers 45 Following A one-of-a-kind independent comedy club in Des Moines, IA offering stand-up comedy, improv and more!
Day’s Peace of Chic.. @daypeacecomedy
541 Followers 874 Following Seen On BRAVO TV🎙️ Podcast Host 💿 #1 Album On Amazon & iTunes “PEACE OF MIND SIDE B” 📺 ‘Peace of Mind Comedy Special’ YouTube 👇🏾 Shows
stu @rinbcage
4K Followers 625 Following This account doesn't exist. Try searching for another. | dreams: @dream_stu | he/him
A.J. Grill @Grill_You
614 Followers 641 Following In the forest by day | Telling jokes by night | Eating soup in-between
Patrick Hastie: Watch.. @PatrickHastie
3K Followers 1K Following Comedian. Buy My Album on Bandcamp and watch my special on youtube!
A LIST OF WET CELEBRI.. @MrZachPeterson
3K Followers 1K Following The Red Skeleton of our time. moving at the speed of business
Wendy's Martin Luther.. @DantePowell
2K Followers 2K Following Buy My Stand Up Comedy Album 'The Squirrels Get Fat' wherever you buy albums!
Michael Meyers @MeMichaelMeyers
1K Followers 815 Following Stand up comedian in Chicago. I have a special linked below called, Michael Meyers Performs Comedy for Real People
Doug Stanhope @DougStanhope
378K Followers 599 Following Leader of My Own Free World. Facebook: https://t.co/N5Cq8FQXmv… Instagram: https://t.co/2ORtBo54ww TikTok: https://t.co/N3HawFcKkp
Matthew Jacobsen @cbmatt8
449 Followers 384 Following Has award winning jokes my mother hates. Not Caillou.
Brandon Ream @Reamkore
4K Followers 3K Following He/Him I Dumb Jokes with typos | Co-host of The Nostalgic Front Podcast.
Jamie “hubie hallow.. @AJamieCarbone
2K Followers 626 Following don’t explain the Seinfeld tweet to me. BLM, They/them
jason melton, my dude @cooljasonmelton
993 Followers 383 Following yeah I can fight the hulk and win //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// other twitters: @cmj69420 @JasonMelton_
marc maron @marcmaron
879K Followers 507 Following I am a comic, actor, feral cat wrangler, writer & host of WTF the podcast.
Ryan Mason @qdobagoodingjr
1K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Bucks fan. Opinions are my own. Insta: ryanmason18
Bill Gevirtz @Bill_Gevirtz
2K Followers 5K Following
Sam Tripoli @samtripoli
70K Followers 3K Following #Localist #AfroAsian Comedian All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent. Linktree: https://t.co/ZbZg7mi3ku
Whitney Webb @_whitneywebb
350K Followers 964 Following Contributing editor of https://t.co/i6XvCQ62PW, author of One Nation Under Blackmail. Follow me on Nostr + other Twitter alternatives (see link tree below)
Jason Bermas @JasonBermas
43K Followers 1K Following Talk Show Host w/ Patriot TV & TNT Radio / Documentary Filmmaker / Watch Invisible Empire, Fabled Enemies, Loose Change, & SHADE. #BermasBrigade #BeYourOwnHero
ck :: @craig_kingston
3K Followers 3K Following LFC fan af 🎶 Music ♥️🎵 Travel 🌏 LFC ⚽️ Redsox ⚾️ StKildaFC 🏉 YNWA 🏁F1 🟠 NbT ♉️
David Icke @davidicke
616K Followers 240 Following Official Twitter of ground breaking Author & Public Speaker, David Icke. New book 'The Dream' available at https://t.co/d5s6eHw4lF
Ryan Gerritsen🇨�.. @ryangerritsen
70K Followers 7K Following Unlike the media we must hold Politicians accountable, not celebrate them. Interest - The No Agenda Show, golf, djing
govt.exe is corrupt @govt_corrupt
74K Followers 861 Following **The system has been compromised** - Govt is corrupt - Media is a virus - Obedience is a symptom - Non compliance is the cure
Martyupnorth®- Unacc.. @Martyupnorth_2
82K Followers 6K Following 12th Gen (1634) Franco-Albertan. Applied Scientist. Married. Dad to 4 amazing adults. Adventurer. Real environmentalist. Libertarian. I block idiots & trolls.
Liz Churchill @liz_churchill10
418K Followers 2K Following Unofficial Queen of the World Economic Forum. Conspiracy Theorist. Bill Gates’ Best Friend. Communism Ruins Everything ™
Mad Talent Agency @MadTalent
2K Followers 2K Following We subscribe to the idea that LAUGHTER is the BEST medicine! ■ A Talent Agency SOLELY devoted to Comedy & Comedians
Collin Strajack @collinstrajack
779 Followers 355 Following Stand-up comedian, used car owner. Host of @mdoverthinker podcast.
Intern @ActualyAnIntern
291 Followers 327 Following Eau Claire's most sober open mic comedian and David Arquette has me blocked on Twitter
M͜͡&͜͡M͜͡ @TheSoulShadow
23K Followers 15K Following 🇺🇸🇮🇹🇱🇧/G\. 45. Dad. 🇺🇸Veteran. Capricorn. ISTJ. MDD. PTSD .Espresso, Cigars, and Scotch #YNWA #GoGators "Words woven into art, poetry writer's heart"-MM
ℌ𝔞𝔲𝔫𝔱�.. @HauntedDolly
2K Followers 991 Following 💌 celtic with iberian heritage (writer/poet) word faery ~ mother ~ empath ~ whimsical witch ...𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒶𝑒𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓈 🥀
The Laughing Tap @TheLaughingTap
507 Followers 205 Following Milwaukee’s Home for Comedy! Presenting weekly live comedy, with a full bar, featuring Wisconsin craft beer + spirits! Independently owned + operated! Est. 2020
Chris Fairbanks @chrisfairbanks
27K Followers 2K Following “Rescue Cactus” on Amazon. Podcast: Do You Need a Ride? @dynarpodcast The Rescue Cactus Album, is streaming exclusively on Pandoramusic right now!
Patricia @needsanamegeez
321 Followers 322 Following Writes stuff and chases meatballs across the floor. Liked robots before it was cool. Me? I don't know, she's over there.
allan Perdue aka FAFO @allanPerdue4
124 Followers 248 Following Gay Conservative(there are millions of us) Proud Veteran and Patriot Standing up for Truth and Freedom 🇺🇸
ᒍᗩᑎᑎY ᕼOᒪ.. @JannyHoliday
8K Followers 7K Following Dope fresh tweet jockey ~ 😎 ~ whatever/medicated
patrick richardson @patrickpiss
223 Followers 221 Following stand up comedian and videographer/editor for chubby behemoth podcast
Kristin Lytie-New Alb.. @KristinLytie
2K Followers 551 Following comic. union organizer. want to talk about unionizing your workplace? dm me! host of @bloodymarypod a podcast about your favorite horror movies she/her
Lance Hanson @FreeLanceHan
30 Followers 116 Following Eclectic.I've acted, enjoy culture, and studied martial arts.I can enjoy almost any activity.One weekend I attended a play, a ballet and MMA,enjoying them all.
Jeremy Hellwig @JeremyHellwig
744 Followers 653 Following Sorry, Please Continue podcast. Fatal Bus Accident. Stand-up. Other stuff. He/him.
Spacey @muthafnstargrl
668 Followers 401 Following 'Nihilism stands at the door. Whence comes this uncanniest of all guests?' Nietzsche
Comedy Cabin @ComedyCabinwi
81 Followers 81 Following Comedy Club in Janesville WI. [email protected]
The Anxious Cat 𓃠 @iPhonePhobic
2K Followers 5K Following A terrible supercat who graduated from "Foot in Mouth" University with high marks.. Let me have a smoke and come back to you on this.
My Views Are My Own p.. @myviews_podcast
11K Followers 9K Following Culture. Comedy. Adventure. My Views Are My Own podcast. Available wherever you listen to podcasts Instagram: myviewsaremyown_podcast
Pollinators @pollinatorsband
132 Followers 501 Following Indie rock music and collaborations led by @tjteslik
Teehee's Comedy Club @Teeheesdsm
126 Followers 45 Following A one-of-a-kind independent comedy club in Des Moines, IA offering stand-up comedy, improv and more!
Day’s Peace of Chic.. @daypeacecomedy
541 Followers 874 Following Seen On BRAVO TV🎙️ Podcast Host 💿 #1 Album On Amazon & iTunes “PEACE OF MIND SIDE B” 📺 ‘Peace of Mind Comedy Special’ YouTube 👇🏾 Shows
high key based humor @dankcharnley
8K Followers 8K Following Classically Trained Comic • Enthusiast • Writerist • Cartoonist • Avid Reader of Smut • Rib Sauce Judge 🤟 Who Hurt Me?: https://t.co/pQ7raaF6uy
gas statіon dream g�.. @cheygoulet
22K Followers 5K Following kind of like a goomba, but with slower reflexes
Carlos Chamon @justcarlchamon
208 Followers 722 Following bolivian comedian. writer. i don't look a thing like jesus.
nick davis @KnickDavis
430 Followers 501 Following Co-host and producer of All Charged Up Podcast. Deeply closeted.
Marty & Sarah @MartySarahPod
4K Followers 4K Following We love wrestling! Join us and the buddies weekly at @MLW. Send wrestling confessions or sponsor F/Marry/Kill by messaging [email protected].
Greg Sego @TheGregSego
525 Followers 2K Following Natural born Greg. Artist from NY. Twitch Affiliate. Follow! Say hey!! Or don't.......... stupid.
Ben Woodfield @itsBenWoodfield
333 Followers 303 Following
The Lucky Cat Comedy .. @theluckycatcr
128 Followers 475 Following Your home for comedy & events in Cedar Rapids! 11/4 Chris Schlichting. Trivia every Sunday at 5:30! Tickets at https://t.co/ed57uRuMnq
Inés J. Pedras @ines_jpedras
4K Followers 2K Following Architect | GemStones Architecture | intellectually, intuitively, speculatively, imaginatively even mystically *Integrity.
Albany, I’m fixin to come your way! (Tim Allen throat fart). Link to tickets: albany.funnybone.com/event/kyle-kin…
Tonight’s dinner. I’m rolling a bunch of tobacco in a giant tortillia. For your health. This is not financial advice.
The Fast and The Furious and The guy who can’t get enough of ‘em. Dirt Nap AVAILABLE NOW on @800pgm YouTube. Link in bio.
Bad news, guys! Real bad. I’m sorry.
Happy Friday from your favorite blonde 💕
Good morning from me and my sweet old lady 💕
I fuckin dare you to go to a comedy club and take a selfie kissing every headshot on the wall.
I don't remember taking this selfie last night. But I did survive my birthday, and my hair is very clean and pretty
Welp, Jesse got me blushing with this write-up of Dirt Nap. Thank you! @JesseDavidFox vulture.com/article/kyle-k…
The word "cinema" derives from the title of the 1992 film Encino Man
I would hate being a professional wrestler so much. I would take a mental health day on Wrestlemania, or say I was going out of town that day so I wouldn't have to wrestle
One of my students told me I looked like Edgar Allan Poe. I don’t see it.
Playing a lot of Elden Ring lately. Fire Giant when streamers fight him vs Fire Giant when I fight him.
TONIGHT is the YouTube premiere of my new special “Dirt Nap” @ 8pm ET. Join me in the live chat. youtu.be/czchKlwI85w?si…
Celebrating Easter in the DFW United Lounge and the Easter Bunny hid a couple of choice eggs in my YouTube suggested basket. Here’s a link to @DougStanhope first TV set where he’s introduced by a very confused Smokey Robinson. youtu.be/EYAP8q4hkG0?si…
I hope to eventually have enough money to rail against capitalism on a public forum
I'm reading that Trump Bible and it's actually pretty good. Turns out God did it.
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