Michael Meyers @MeMichaelMeyers
Stand up comedian in Chicago. I have a special linked below called, Michael Meyers Performs Comedy for Real People m.youtube.com/channel/UCLBLJ… Chicago, IL Joined January 2013-
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Here's a joke about a Subway commercial I heard too many times because of free Spotify. Watch the full special from the link in my bio 🙂
Reading Dune while listening to Bob Dylan in hopes of summoning Timothee Chalamet
Call me crazy, but I prefer a ristorante to a restaurant
Woke up to several more grey pubes. What could be stressing my penis??
Fans have been pretty vocal about my @netflix special Hot Cross Buns - check it out!!
The Tortured Poets Department is an awful name for an album
RIP Dickey Betts 🥹🙏….love this ripping "Jessica" from ‘82
Last night’s screening/Q&A for our new film Justifying Julia was absolutely incredible. I can’t wait to show the rest of the world this thing that me, Eric, and the rest of the cast and crew are so proud of #grateful
May this clip from Michael Meyers Performs Comedy for Real People find comfort here
I think alcoholics drink so much coffee when they become sober because they don't know what to do if their breath doesn't smell like shit.
I haven't had a drink in two weeks and now in the morning I guess I just get up
I've always thought stopping drug overdoses wasn't horny enough
My ears were burning, but now they are properly bandaged so I can share this review of my new special!
My ears were burning, but now they are properly bandaged so I can share this review of my new special!
I'm just happy these two are finally reunited 😢
The moon looks a whole hell of a lot like a tree if you ask me
Love him or hate him you’ve gotta admit, no president has done or will ever do anything funnier than this
Good morning. Here's an old video showing how I like to drink coffee
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