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willy wonka really killed 4 kids and gave the 5th his entire corporation
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CBS has found the show that will take over the 11:30 timeslot after Stephen Colbert exits "The Late Show." It's "Comics Unleashed," the stand-up show from Byron Allen.
(Running into the Pentagon, waving newspaper) sir!
They better interview RUBEN BOUMTJE BOUMTJE
UNTOLD: JAIL BLAZERS premieres April 14. In the early 2000s, the Portland Trail Blazers were stacked with talent—and surrounded by controversy. Through firsthand stories from Rasheed Wallace, Damon Stoudamire, and Bonzi Wells, this is an unfiltered look at a team caught
“actually we’ve met before” okay well I don’t remember you. Have you considered being less forgettable and insignificant
"shot by a guy with no arms or legs" is a real mad libs way to go
😳 Quadruple amputee and pro cornhole player facing murder charges in Maryland
Luke Mones retweeted
Big beautiful Arthur, Arthur Dayne…Sword of the Morning they called him! That sword didn’t help him very much at the Tower of Joy, did it now? Slew in combat by Ned Stark and Howland Reed…little Howland Reed, he was the Knight of the Laughing Tree—they’re letting me say it!
When someone makes me watch a video on their phone
He’s gone full Bane
'I call upon all Iranian patriots who yearn for freedom to seize this moment, and take back your country.' - Trump
triathlon means running/biking/swimming but biathlon means GUN ON SKIS
Luke Mones retweeted
remember when Ivan Ooze tried to disguise himself in town by dressing like...a purple clown wizard who sold cans of ooze? how did he think that would help him blend in
BREAKING from Brooklyn MDC: Maduro has healed his CO’s bladder infection like the Green Mile
My girlfriend watching a movie:
Trump denies what we've all seen with our own eyes -- that he regularly falls asleep during on camera events -- instead saying he's just "blinking." “Sometimes they’ll take a picture of me blinking, blinking, and they’ll catch me with the blink.” (4/6)
When did stop calling them bumps? Bumps was fine!
Tulsa OK tomorrow 11/1. Punchup.live/lukemones
Alyssa Limperis @alyssalimp
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37 Followers 1K Following had another account then someone I knew in real life commented about my posts and I got spooked because I like to keep those things separate. so here we are
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eli yudin @eliyudin
23K Followers 2K Following I don’t really use this site anymore but my Instagram is yahootoolbar and my bsky is eliyudin and I stream on twitch at pig_dog
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38K Followers 2K Following If Yzma was Asian. Writer on @latelateshow @Dylanadler_ on insta He/Him
What A Time To Be Ali... @whatatimepod
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22K Followers 562 Following • mma coach/bjj black belt • @alittletimepod • @nihilift
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