Outraged Piranha Dentures @Lompocaloca

Setting bad examples to make you look better. You're welcome. East Plankton-on-Minge Joined May 2014

Tweets

22K
Followers

504
Following

997
Likes

54K

Outraged Piranha Dentures @Lompocaloca

2 weeks ago

Miss Lola, pondering whether she should finally finish her degree and make something of her life, toss caution to the wind and meet Giulio in Firenze for a romantic tour of the countryside, or take a nap. #NationalPetDay

0 0 0 17 0

Download Image

Sunshine Jarboly @SunshineJarboly

3 weeks ago

*giving kids a pep talk* what if i told you that there’s a subject in school that gives you the same feeling as lying in the bed of an el camino looking at the sky as your aunt takes you & your cousin on a pepsi run down the freeway doing 80 mph? well, that subject is called math

2 23 65 2K 1

Titania @Titania2468

3 weeks ago

Be the crow you want to see in the world

38 450 3K 50K 130

Download Image

JodingersCat-astrophe @JMoneySlimer

a month ago

The fear of starting any household project is called catastrophobia

7 39 77 4K 1

ScottW @jswtreeman

a month ago

* first day in Debate Club “Oh yeah? So’s your mom”

0 3 6 114 0

ScottW @jswtreeman

a month ago

Getting my roof replaced today and tomorrow. What a dumb way to have to spend money. We walked on the moon over 50 years ago. Why can’t roofs last like 100 years? We have the technology.

5 4 12 472 0

Harriet 🎶 @Hplayspiano

2 months ago

Men, what's stopping you looking like this?

976 77 1K 141K 9

Download Image

VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish

3 months ago

There is nothing more alarming than someone saying they don’t want to alarm you.

38 287 3K 287K 27

Kip Conlon @kipconlon

3 months ago

Ultimately, I'm not sure what marriage signifies, if anything. Legally I guess it means something, for wills or whatever. But “spiritually?” It's just some words, a ritual, no more or less sacred than a high five after a touchdown. But I digress. You may now kiss the bride.

10 28 117 4K 3

Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric

4 months ago

Coffee should be free for anyone who makes noise when they stand up.

48 285 2K 66K 11

Outraged Piranha Dentures @Lompocaloca

4 months ago

Just broke down sobbing to Nat Cole’s “Christmas Song.” It reminds me of my parents’ love in my childhood. Mom is gone, dad’s in a nursing home. Merry Christmas and strength to any other people struggling this holiday.

0 0 2 19 0

Outraged Piranha Dentures @Lompocaloca

5 months ago

I’m running out of address labels. Gotta join a charity so they’ll send me some

0 0 2 23 0

Marcmywords @Marcmywords2

5 months ago

Why would I read your blog … your Pinned Tweet made my left eye twitch.

1 85 119 6K 0

alex @phoebeposting

6 months ago

this is what birdwatching is like

Hattie French @hattiefrench

6 months ago

this is what birdwatching is like

25 51 2K 70K 16

4 50 391 22K 7

US Department of the Interior @Interior

8 months ago

For many people, seeing wildlife on our public lands is thrilling! But for wildlife, seeing us in their homes where they eat, sleep and breed may not be such a thrill. Let's celebrate National Wildlife Day with respect for these amazing creatures! Photo by Carl TerHaar

41 461 3K 159K 14

Download Image

Outraged Piranha Dentures @Lompocaloca

8 months ago

Bought a new bottle of cumin. I'm not saying spice prices are too high, but it would've been nice if the checkout had let me take out a second mortgage to pay for it.