John Botelho @JohnTellsJokes
Comedian who sometimes writes about sports and always puts his shopping cart back. Retired 5.0 Lyft Driver. Host of Toasted & Roasted: A Comedy Debate Show Los Angeles, CA Joined April 2009-
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Almost every pair of shoes Ive owned I tie once and then leave them like that til the shoes fall apart a few years later
Almost every pair of shoes Ive owned I tie once and then leave them like that til the shoes fall apart a few years later
Ian Karmel is so dang funny he's got me excited to preorder a book. He's a great comic and a better human. As a dude who grew up in husky jeans, I haven't looked forward to a book coming out this much since The Rock Says dropped when I was in 7th grade
Ian Karmel is so dang funny he's got me excited to preorder a book. He's a great comic and a better human. As a dude who grew up in husky jeans, I haven't looked forward to a book coming out this much since The Rock Says dropped when I was in 7th grade https://t.co/Fv6TF6iYYL
Embiid has accomplished almost nothing compared to the game's greatest bigs. Kareem 19x All-NBA, 6 titles, 6 MVPs Duncan 15x All-NBA, 2 MVPs, 5 titles Shaq 14x All-NBA, MVP, 4 titles Embiid isn't even the best big playing right now
Embiid has accomplished almost nothing compared to the game's greatest bigs. Kareem 19x All-NBA, 6 titles, 6 MVPs Duncan 15x All-NBA, 2 MVPs, 5 titles Shaq 14x All-NBA, MVP, 4 titles Embiid isn't even the best big playing right now
Any chance you get, you absolutely have to think like a team that has made it to one Super Bowl this millennium
Any chance you get, you absolutely have to think like a team that has made it to one Super Bowl this millennium
Looking forward to Ellen's hard right pivot takedown of woke cancel culture. She's going to crush at Rogan's club
Looking forward to Ellen's hard right pivot takedown of woke cancel culture. She's going to crush at Rogan's club
Cops had themselves a night beating up college kids across the country. Nothing says tough like thrashing a bunch film students at Emerson. Wish they would have had some of this mentality when they were too cowardly to save children at Uvalde
This sums up why they stink and always will stink. It's someone else's fault they lost. They whiffed on Ben Simmons, then doubled-down on him over Jimmy Butler. If you bounce out every year before the conference finals, you're not actually a title contender
This sums up why they stink and always will stink. It's someone else's fault they lost. They whiffed on Ben Simmons, then doubled-down on him over Jimmy Butler. If you bounce out every year before the conference finals, you're not actually a title contender
The Sixers stink and trusting the process didn't work. I've watched Al Horford spend a decade making Embiid quit by being better at cardio. Embiid would never survive Zombieland #Rule1Cardio
The Sixers stink and trusting the process didn't work. I've watched Al Horford spend a decade making Embiid quit by being better at cardio. Embiid would never survive Zombieland #Rule1Cardio
Living in a city and complaining about noise is like jumping in a pool then being mad when you get wet
Living in a city and complaining about noise is like jumping in a pool then being mad when you get wet
These shirts can only be earned by swearing at another driver while stuck in Boston traffic
You can tell he's an incel because he thinks incel is a slur
You can tell he's an incel because he thinks incel is a slur
Remember when Mark Wahlberg left the Patriots Falcons Super Bowl in the third quarter? He doesnt care about Boston sports. Not sure he's actually a fan of anything besides himself. Also Ben Affleck and Steven King are both more famous than him and both are really Red Sox fans
Remember when Mark Wahlberg left the Patriots Falcons Super Bowl in the third quarter? He doesnt care about Boston sports. Not sure he's actually a fan of anything besides himself. Also Ben Affleck and Steven King are both more famous than him and both are really Red Sox fans
I know this is meant to promote fairness when one team is traveling and one isn't, but this is a bad rule. Feels like the equivalent of saying no layup lines before basketball games
I know this is meant to promote fairness when one team is traveling and one isn't, but this is a bad rule. Feels like the equivalent of saying no layup lines before basketball games
I'm glad the internet is mad at Gregg Doyel for being weird toward Caitlin Clark but some of us have been mad at him since 2015 when he started a personal crusade against Tom Brady for beating the brakes off the Colts
Is that literally a jeep catching up to the Tesla from behind
Is that literally a jeep catching up to the Tesla from behind
I heard Courtney Love doesn't have Travis Kelce ranked as a top 5 dynasty tight end
I heard Courtney Love doesn't have Travis Kelce ranked as a top 5 dynasty tight end
Rob Schneider and Elon Musk seem to be on a sad, pathetic seesaw with each other to see who can have the more impressive public midlife crisis/meltdown
Tarek Fattal @Tarek_Fattal
33K Followers 2K Following Senior Reporter @SBLiveSports & @SInow Media Group | 📬: [email protected] | Breakfast Burrito Reviews | Sports Analyst on @SportsCentralLA 📺Danny Ventura @BostonHeraldHS
49K Followers 4K Following Regional high school sports editor/reporter at the Boston Herald and a 33-year member of Herald nation. I can be reached at [email protected].Brendan Cooney @CooneyOrDie
10K Followers 1K Following Jokester. Long time ago a friend bought me followers to prank me. Link is to my podcast: Raccoon TweetiesJosh Edelman @TheEdelmeister
641 Followers 1K Following Filmmaker / Comedian / Director of #BestFriendsWebSeries and #MentallyAlDocumentary, host of #TheJewRogaineExperience podcast. NYTimes Best Comedy 2021Dan Stepenosky @dstepenosky
2K Followers 2K Following Proud Superintendent of @LVUSD Check out our amazing programs and staff @LVUSD, @LVCenterEdX. Graduate of @VillanovaU, @UCLA & former @USNavy Naval OfficerNick Malafronte @nick_mal
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4K Followers 892 Following Executive Producer of @TheGregHillShow -affectionately known as The Professor - @CalumScott loved my karaoke rendition of Dancing on My OwnAndrew Mahoney @GlobeMahoney
1K Followers 877 Following Sports producer for The Boston Globe. Also write about college hockey.Brendan C. Hall @BHallWrites
15K Followers 4K Following Thoughts my own | Sports Marketing Leader | Esports Coordinator @endicottcollege | Proud husband & #GirlDad | RIP Dad 10-12-22follow @danajaybein.b.. @danajaybein
9K Followers 7K Following Human | Comedian | Wrote #CoronavirusRhapsody | He ~ Him ~ HisMatt Feld @mattyfeld612
16K Followers 2K Following Baseball Operations - @VanguardSG; Boston Herald Freelancer; @NE_Baseball ContributorMike Marre @MikeMarre
465 Followers 634 Following I like sports. Father of 2 (1 human, 1 dog), My opinions are very much my own and often wrong. All in good fun! Go Sports!Shery Emmer @SherEmme
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127 Followers 1K Following Tickling myself while I chew gum & stumble thru my befuddlement, all on the head of a very unstable pin of buffoonery! #jerryshumor #humor #humorinmylife #jokesAnya Derrah @anya_derr
28 Followers 4K FollowingDr Melissa @DrMelissa15820
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50 Followers 5K FollowingTarek Fattal @Tarek_Fattal
33K Followers 2K Following Senior Reporter @SBLiveSports & @SInow Media Group | 📬: [email protected] | Breakfast Burrito Reviews | Sports Analyst on @SportsCentralLA 📺Danny Ventura @BostonHeraldHS
49K Followers 4K Following Regional high school sports editor/reporter at the Boston Herald and a 33-year member of Herald nation. I can be reached at [email protected].scottzolak 🏈 @scottzolak
248K Followers 217 Following @patriots color analyst, Co-Host of Zo & Beetle @985thesportshub 10-2. for business opportunities contact [email protected]eric sondheimer @latsondheimer
116K Followers 928 Following Eric Sondheimer has been covering high school sports for the Los Angeles Times since 1997 and in Southern California since 1976. City Section HOF 2019.Tony Massarotti @TonyMassarotti
157K Followers 1K Following Host on 98.5 The Sports Hub. Felger and Massarotti on Facebook. tonymazz985 on Instagram.Lou Merloni @LouMerloni
115K Followers 1K Following I played a little bit, now I talk a little bit. it’s Baseball all day/everyday. @WEEI @NESN @RedSox.Brendan Cooney @CooneyOrDie
10K Followers 1K Following Jokester. Long time ago a friend bought me followers to prank me. Link is to my podcast: Raccoon TweetiesLaurie Kilmartin @anylaurie16
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3K Followers 31 Following Official Twitter Account for the Silver Lake Regional High School Athletic Department LiveStream on HUDLTVRear Admiral @RearAdBsBlog
189K Followers 4K Following Co-founder & co-host of @spittinchiclets with @ryanwhitney6 @BizNasty2point0 and producer @MikeGrinnell_ & writer at @barstoolsports.Josh Edelman @TheEdelmeister
641 Followers 1K Following Filmmaker / Comedian / Director of #BestFriendsWebSeries and #MentallyAlDocumentary, host of #TheJewRogaineExperience podcast. NYTimes Best Comedy 2021Jeff Howe @jeffphowe
148K Followers 547 Following NFL National Insider for @TheAthletic. For you. For me. For Lowell. https://t.co/FF7H3LYLgEAlex Hooper @HooperHairPuff
13K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Weirdo. Eccentric Socialite. America's Got Talent. Comedy Central. Ellen. Dirty Briefs Podcast.Toucher & Hardy @toucherandhardy
144K Followers 443 Following Weekday mornings 6-10AM on @985thesportshubNick Malafronte @nick_mal
2K Followers 1K Following Paralyzed-Hockey Coach-Sports fan. Working hard to walk again and inspire along the way #Believe #HardWorkPaysOff #Viva IG:nmal226Adam Kaufman @AdamMKaufman
41K Followers 522 Following 📻 Sports Director, @iheartradio Boston | "The Gambler with Adam Kaufman" on @WRKO680 | 📺 @DraftKings |🎙️ #CelticsBeat host | IG @adammkaufman | $8/mo richerJerry Thornton @jerrythornton1
106K Followers 776 Following Barstool Sports. Author of SIX RINGS and FROM DARKNESS TO DYNASTY. Comic. I'll even do you a Cameo https://t.co/isKH8Qkt1m…Chris Scheim @Scheimtime
4K Followers 892 Following Executive Producer of @TheGregHillShow -affectionately known as The Professor - @CalumScott loved my karaoke rendition of Dancing on My OwnBrendan C. Hall @BHallWrites
15K Followers 4K Following Thoughts my own | Sports Marketing Leader | Esports Coordinator @endicottcollege | Proud husband & #GirlDad | RIP Dad 10-12-22Harvard-Westlake @hwbaseball
3K Followers 71 Following Official page of Harvard-Westlake Baseball 2013 2021 CIF Champs 2013 National ChampionsVital Vegas @VitalVegas
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55K Followers 35K Following Collection of baseball’s greatest moments from across the internet new and old | Not affiliated with MLB and DO NOT own contentUnbelievable ™️ @Unbelievable_cl
335K Followers 448 Following Content / Movies / Sport / Everything Entertainment / Dm for Ads and promotionHot Tub With Kurt & K.. @HotTub_Show
4K Followers 1K Following A wet jubilee! (of comedy) feat. @kurtbraunohler @kristenschaaled & friends. Wednesdays at @Permanent_LA! #comedy #losangeles #hottubshowHome Run Report @homerunreport
51K Followers 1 Following Hi. It's us, @MLB. This bot uses Statcast data to track baseball trajectories & let you know everything you need about home runs. Tweets at end of half innings.JetPack Galileo @JetPackGalileo
20K Followers 995 Following The Father of Modern Science. Chief Rocket Scientist of the @FF_Astronauts Film. Analytics. Astronomy. Free 1200+ Member Discord: https://t.co/0ahMFX7qqTChris Towers is the R.. @CTowersCBS
38K Followers 6K Following Chris Towers—Baseball Analysis/Writing/Podcasting for @CBSSports. Subscribe to the @FBTpod Newsletter below.Baseball Quotes @BaseballQuotes1
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8K Followers 532 Following Head of MLB Info @underdogfantasy | Words for @baseballamerica | Subscribe to Substack (free) at the link belowout of context 30 Roc.. @30rockposts
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967 Followers 205 Following If you roll stop signs you are my enemy. Mainly post about Best Ball. Love a good graph. Triggered by red/green color schemes. W&M + Duke. Data/BI AnalystUnderdog Drafts @UnderdogDrafts
4K Followers 7 Following Home of @UnderdogFantasy Draft Games | Must be 18+ (21+MA & AZ, 19+ AL, NE)SPORTS DRINK @SprtsDrnk
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18K Followers 1K Following Stand-up comic in NYC! New special “Murder Sheets” out April 2nd on youtube. Last 3 specials have 1M+ views + check out my book & podcast. All links ⤵️Sam Hoppen @SamHoppen
15K Followers 997 Following @FantasyPros Data Scientist 📊| Formerly @Betsperts & @4for4football Data Analytics Manager 💻| #GoPackGo | Opinions are my ownShane Gillis @Shanemgillis
450K Followers 835 Following Matt and Shane’s secret podcast : Gilly & Keeves𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠 .. @Craig_Jeru
1K Followers 181 Following Just a broke dude with money #DraftKings MillionaireMakerWinner 🏈 #DFS 🏈 #FantasyFootball 🏈 #Keeper 🏈 #IDP 🏈 #NFLCoachStreet @CoachStreet1
743 Followers 1K Following Chatsworth High School Head Football Coach #InTheGrindWeTrust | | Creating 1st Generation College Students & Business Owners 1 yr at Time | 818.447.8427MILKY WAY GHETTO 🌌 @JayJurden
30K Followers 2K Following he/him. comic / actor / writer / X-Men nerd/writer! - bisexual demon / booking - https://t.co/ikhegHrDPHShane Neumann @Neumy2
1K Followers 813 Following Draft Games @underdogfantasy | Member of @thebadgebrosKyle Van Noy @KVN_03
124K Followers 429 Following Why do we try to stand in, When we are born to stand out! Married to @marissa_vannoy 2x Super Bowl CHAMP!!!! Check out my YouTube Vibin’ with Van Noy’s 👇🏾👇🏾Ryan Heath @RyanJ_Heath
12K Followers 785 Following Sharing actionable football data to help you win leagues and arguments | Staff Writer @FantasyPts | Probably tweeting about Christian WatsonL.A. Daily News @ladailynews
63K Followers 1K Following Reporting the news in LA since 1911. Subscribe here to support local journalism: https://t.co/Du7UdA28X8.After Midnight @midnight
404K Followers 4 Following follow us literally anywhere else. weeknights after ColbertDylan Adler @DylanAdler6
40K Followers 2K Following If Yzma was Asian. Writer on @latelateshow @Dylanadler_ on insta He/HimTom Thakkar @TomAThakkar
14K Followers 1K Following Special coming TODAY: https://t.co/Znhp3gwVmJ see more clips at https://t.co/GaLW6dzUb9pete overzet @peteroverzet
43K Followers 2K Following thought leader, deposit king, creative lead @mbfantasylife, @underdogfantasy influencer, @shipchasing, @swolecast, lolz, gpp/best ball bro, https://t.co/SgIQzNCZKuSkyler Higley @skyler_higley
26K Followers 995 Following standup/staff writer @midnight. formerly CONAN, @theonion.gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coachKudos to Calabasas baseball coach Thomas Cassidy. Sent his scores in after every game this season – win or loss. 🫡
Hey everyone it’s @mattlieb’s birthday and you must send him all the love right now.
you know what’s fun is when shit like this is happening, the media just wheels out any fucking body to give a comment on what’s going on. Let’s see what P. Diddy has to say about voting for Biden in the upcoming election!
Shark Tank’s Kevin O'Leary Says University Protestors Are Ruining Future Job Opportunities: 'You're Trashing Your Personal Brand' mediaite.com/media/shark-ta…
8:03 PM: Sliding-up on Scientology security is both an art and a science.
It takes a lot of vulnerability to come here and tell the world you don’t know ball 👊
@ESPNNFL @minakimes She literally gets her opinions from madden ratings I swear
T-Shirt Swim Club. June 11. A brother and sister, a comedian and a doctor, wrote a book about being fat. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll see if you can still buy Snackwell's Devils Food Cookies. Pre-order now.
Is there a text thread for LA comics not on Netflix is a Joke? Y’all wanna go see Civil War in IMAX or dip our toes in the tar pits?
My dad has beers with his buddies each Wednesday and makes a list of things to talk about beforehand and it is the cutest thing in the world!
this might be the most entertaining entire first round of the nba playoffs in a very long time
@JohnTellsJokes Im on my 4th pair and Im not slowing down. I may even buy different colors, so I can match which errands I am running
one of the best lessons i ever learned as someone who writes for a living is you gotta just make the stuff that you want and that you care about you can’t go into a project trying to make something that you think other people will like trust your nerdy instincts lean in
I just read the Princess Bride novel by William Goldman. Holy cow that's a good book. Already knew the story like the back of my hand and still maybe the most fun I've had reading a book... ever?
@JohnTellsJokes as a dude currently wearing husky jeans, thank you so much!!!
As a big dude, I’m looking forward to reading this and seeing myself in it. I’m ready to be seen, I’m ready for maybe some hard truths. Ian’s a fantastic writer, he’s very funny, insightful, and incisive. I’m ready for some deep cuts. I preordered, you should too!
My book comes out in a lil over a month. Its 13 essays about fat that cover the span of my life. I think it's the best thing I've ever done - and then my sister, a clinical psychologist - comes in after and explains everything. Preorders are MASSIVELY important. Grab a copy!
one of my favorite comedians has a new special coming out. and so does Colin Quinn! LOLOLOLOL I got him good. #humor
Filmed my new special at a symposium of psychiatrists. Our Time Is Up is out on YouTube Friday at 10am est
🚨 250 PACK GIVEAWAY 🚨 To say thanks for 250k followers, we’re giving away 250 packs to one lucky person… TO ENTER: Just like this post & follow @Topps!